Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Van
“This is no good.” None of the places we had looked at all week were feasible. Clover and I were touring the third apartment. This one was up a flight of stairs behind an old house right off Main Street.
Clover squinted up at the entrance. “We haven’t even gone inside.”
“It’s going to be winter soon, and those steps will become death.”
She tucked her hands into her jacket. The rich blue brought out the dual colors in her eyes, and she had on a cream knit hat. “I’ll keep them clear.”
“No. Absolutely not.” I envisioned her laboring up those stairs with a baby belly blocking her view. One small slip was all it would take. “We can call and tell the landlord we’re canceling.”
“She’s up there waiting for us.”
“I’ll run up.”
She tucked her arm through mine, a move that was starting to feel so natural it was like she’d been taking me by the arm for a decade. “It’s not icy right now. Let’s go look at it. You might like it.”
If I moved in here, she wouldn’t be able to visit me, but I’d humor her and do a tour. “Fine, but you’re going up first.” If she slipped, I’d catch her.
Her smile dipped a moment before returning in full force. “I kind of like this protective side. It’s almost caveman-ish.”
“Me, Van. You, be careful.”
She laughed and took the stairs like they were nothing more than a few steps up a porch and not a full flight of wooden steps attached to the side of a house. The wind licked at the tendrils of her hair sticking out of her hat. I herded her inside as soon as we reached the top.
An older woman smiled at us. “Hello, I’m Zelda. Van and Clover?”
“Yes,” I said, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Ooh, this is nice.” Clover clapped her hands together.
The place was cute, but it wasn’t happening. I waited until she looked her fill, then I gave her a small shake of my head. She smirked and thanked Zelda, telling the landlord she’d think about it.
Not one ounce of guilt hounded me. I might be a caveman, but I needed her to be safe when she was visiting me. Or we could keep living together…
No, she wanted to do things on her own. Couldn’t blame a girl who was left at the altar to be skittish about making long-term plans with a guy.
Especially if that guy was her ex’s brother.
I’ve proven I’m nothing like him, but she wasn’t the only one hurt by him.
I had my own life to reclaim, and I was so close.
We had one more place to look at. It was a house rental, and it wasn’t one that Alder owned.
We’d looked at his open unit first, and she didn’t mind it, but she wouldn’t go for it.
I didn’t have to ask why. The rent was suspiciously low, and she didn’t want to feel like she was taking charity from her brother.
The drive only took a couple of minutes.
A little square house not far from the elementary school was wedged between two large ranch houses on a small lot with no garage and barely two dirt tracks for an off-street parking spot.
The landlord’s pickup was parked across the road, and the front door hung open.
There was nothing visible of the place through the screen door.
“It’s cute.” Clover pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and adjusted her hat. “Not a big place to take care of.”
It wasn’t. The ad said it had two bedrooms, a separate bathroom, and was newly updated. “Let’s see if it’s the one.”
I studied the houses around us as we walked to the door.
I’d change locks as soon as she signed the papers.
That was the advice I’d always heard, and I’d make sure it happened for her place.
I stepped inside behind her. The landlord was my age, and he brandished flyers for houses for sale with his face on them. He was a real estate agent too.
She was going to pick this house. The floors had been restored to the original walnut, and all the trim was freshly stained.
The walls were painted a clean off-white and all the holes in the plaster had been filled.
I had expected a musty smell from an old house like this, but someone had baked an apple pie.
Maybe it was a candle. Whatever. It worked.
Clover took a deep inhale. “Oh, this is charming.”
I grew more dismayed as we walked through it, and her smile widened. The bathroom, while tiny, had a tub-and-shower combo, a new toilet, and a vanity with lots of storage. Clover gushed over the equally small linen closet in the hallway before breathing a sigh of relief in the bedroom.
“This is it, Van.” She glanced past me to make sure the landlord wasn’t around. “It’s clean, and the rent is reasonable. There’s not much of a yard for me to take care of.”
“There’s no garage.”
“A shed’s in the back.” She crossed to the rectangular window and lifted the blinds. “All I’d need is a little push mower and a shovel.”
That wasn’t good enough. Her car would be out in the elements. If she didn’t leave the house for days during a cold spell, would it even start? Then what?
She’d call me or one of her many family members.
Didn’t change how much I couldn’t get on board.
She closed the blinds. “I won’t have to buy much to fill the space.”
My stomach twisted on itself. She didn’t have any furniture, not even a bed. Goddammit. “I’ll help you with that.”
“Thanks, but I’ve saved enough to get my own.”
I bobbed my head and held her brilliant gaze. Her eyes lit with excitement, but she couldn’t hide the trepidation in their depths. All my misgivings about this being the perfect place for her to begin a new adventure vanished.
“It’ll be okay,” I murmured.
A crease formed along her brow. “Will it?”
“I’ll make sure of it.”
Her smile started and then dropped. “I’ve got to make sure of it.” She raised on her toes and kissed me. I gripped her elbows, but she pulled away. “Sorry. I forgot we’re not at home.” Her smile was tight. “At the house.”
That house was the best home I’d ever had. This might be her chance at a real, secure home for her and Bean. Guess I’d call Alder and ask him what the real price of rent for his property was.
She wandered into the next room, and I trailed behind her. I was following this woman anywhere, it seemed. Perhaps she was right to create distance between us. I’d worked too hard to get back to a semblance of my earlier self, the Van from before my brother tore through my life.
“This will work.” She spun to one wall and spread her arms out. “The crib would fit here. A glider rocker. I don’t need a changing table, but maybe I could find a cheap dresser–changing table combo.”
Note to self: find a combo she’d like. Cost be damned.
“What about you?” she asked. “Which one of the places we looked at are you going to pick?”
“The first.” The first house rental we checked out was the one Alder owned. If Clover and I grew apart, I’d have one link to her.
Was that too stalkerish?
She was about to walk out when her phone rang. Frowning, she checked it. “Oh, it’s Dad.” She didn’t turn her back on me when she answered. “Hello?”
I paced the room as she talked. Would she find a suitable rental? One that didn’t make me think of everything that could go wrong for a single mom? I was being unreasonable, but I didn’t care. She deserved the best.
“Yeah? Oh.” Her tone went flat. “Uh, yeah. He’s right here. I’ll ask him.”
I stopped and leaned against the bare wall where the crib would go.
She lowered the phone like she was going to cover it, then brought it back to her ear, her gaze holding mine. “Dad said his lawyer friend can help us out right after Thanksgiving. He’s taking a long Christmas holiday and will be out the rest of December.”
Divorce. Heat prickled the back of my neck. It’d be the middle of winter, and Clover would be growing bigger. Divorce. Living separately. Just what we both wanted. “Okay.”
“He can meet us early that Monday.”
I didn’t fly out for my investor meetings until January. I was free all of December. This should be a boon. I would be on my own for a month to refine my pitch. I could even take on smaller consulting projects that would show I was already greasing the wheels.
“Yeah, that’ll work.” My voice was raspy.
“Eight o’clock?” She gnawed on her bottom lip. “Dad says it’ll be a quick visit. Just some signatures.”
That was all that would be needed to end us. The back of my throat burned.
“Eight would be fine. I’ll let work know I’m coming in late that day.”
“Yeah, same.” I shrugged, but my shoulders were tight. “Perks of being my own boss, right?”
Our divorce was on the schedule.
Clover
There was no snow on the ground yet, but it was Thanksgiving morning. The date of the divorce was approaching at lightning speed. On Monday, I would be a single woman.
Van had movers all ready to go. Aunt Linda hadn’t been able to line up another renter thanks to the holidays.
I tried not to think about when she would, or who would get to make that house their home.
Who would have a nice, big garage attached to the house.
A huge shop that would hold a sizable tractor to push snow and mow the lawn.
What couple would watch TV in the cozy living room and make meals with their spouse in the kitchen? Would they laugh about the squeaky cabinet and how no one could get away with sneaking snacks for long? Would they find the bin of freshly washed and dried Legos in the garage?
After we spent time building various pieces, mostly related to our hobbies, we’d dismantled everything and packed all the pieces back into the tote. Since we didn’t know which previous owners the Legos belonged to, we decided that what came with the place would stay with it for the next owners.
Would they know how lucky they were?
Van turned down Alder’s driveway. My siblings’ cars and pickups lined the drive.
“This is where you grew up?” he asked.