Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Van
It might be the end of my workday, but I checked my schedule for the tenth time today.
After Clover’s appointment last week, the admin reviewed her upcoming appointments.
There was no way I could join Clover for even a small part of the next ultrasound visit and make it to my first investor meeting.
There had to be a way.
I scrubbed a hand down my face and spun around in my chair.
My office was upstairs in the house I was renting.
It was all one open space, and Jasper promised he’d only need a bedroom.
I didn’t believe him, but I was flexible.
I was actually looking forward to his arrival, which wouldn’t be until the new year.
I folded my hands and gazed out the small port window. The place was old, but it had charm, and Alder had restored it nicely inside. Jensen said he’d done the cabinets for him and also helped lay new flooring in the kitchen after they discovered water damage.
This place was a dream to work in. Yet each morning, I woke up and stared at the popcorn ceiling, willing myself to get out of bed.
This was the first time since my breakup with my ex that I was truly alone.
I hadn’t liked living with my parents, and as aggravating and interfering as they’d been, they were still human interaction.
Since I had no clients yet and was only peddling my business to potential investors, I had myself for company.
My parents had tried contacting me for the first time. Elijah had likely gotten to them.
Now I had them all blocked. As far as I was concerned, my only family would be Bean.
The whole situation was an adjustment, and I missed Clover. I missed seeing her stuff in the bathroom. I missed having her in bed next to me. I missed those breathy moans when she came.
That fast, I was hard and aching. I pushed at my dick like that’d help. Only one thing would, and jacking off in the shower wasn’t it. I spun back around to face my monitors. They had gone blank.
Another evening with nothing to do.
I could go to Bismarck for a Pokémon tournament, but a few snowflakes drifted past the glass. The roads might be slick.
The doorbell rang.
Was it Clover? I raced downstairs. It didn’t matter that there was no reason for her to call me. I sprinted across the house to the front door, but when I opened it, there was no one there. A box sat on the welcome mat.
Clover’s Christmas gift that I’d ordered. She hadn’t said not to exchange any, and we were friends. She was damn near my only friend.
Just then my phone buzzed.
I grabbed the package and looked at the phone. Jasper’s name appeared, and my heart sank. I had more friends than just Clover, but they were all her relatives. Thanks to her, I had them in my life. But I’d rather she was on the other side of this line.
“Hey, Jasper.”
“Do you have my bed warm, or do we have to share like you did with my sister?”
“She required a pillow wall.”
“No kidding?”
He didn’t have to know how long it lasted. “And she cooked every other night.”
“I can handle that, but you might get sick of steak.”
“Challenge accepted. Do you like popcorn and brownies like your sister?”
He chuckled. “You’re going to have to specify which one.”
I liked all of his sisters, but there was only one I dreamed about.
“I was calling to let you know that I paid Alder for half of December’s rent, but I’ll be there a little later in January than I thought.”
He didn’t have to pay for half of December, but I’d been around him enough to know arguing wouldn’t change his mind. “Thanks for the warning. I can walk around naked until then.”
He snorted on the other end. “I’ve lived around a bunch of cowboys for years. Nudity is part of the territory. No need to let me stop you. I’m sure it’s freeing after living with my sister.”
“Yeah, right.” Did my laugh sound as nervous to him as it did to me? My last night on the couch with Clover claimed the forefront of my mind.
“See you at Christmas, Van.”
We disconnected, but I kept my phone, staring at it. Talking to Jasper had been a nice reprieve from the quiet house, but he hadn’t given me any new info on Clover.
Fuck it. It was snowing, and she was on the other side of town. I called her.
“Hey,” she answered, and all sorts of knots loosened inside of me at the sound of her voice. She sounded happy, and that was all I wanted.
Not quite all. Happy under the same roof as me would be better. Like she’d told my brother, I’m there for her. She just didn’t want me there with her.
“Hi. It’s snowing.” I winced at the way I blurted it out. “The forecast said four to six inches.”
“Yeah, I bought a couple of shovels. Different-sized ones.”
“I’ll dig you out.”
“You don’t have—” She sighed. “I’d appreciate it. I was maybe regretting getting the option with no garage.”
“If you have to get anywhere, I’ll pick you up.” Since I had the better vehicle.
“No. Nowhere.”
“Me either.” I draped my hand across the back of my neck and paced the hallway. I wasn’t ready to get off the phone. I had a long, Clover-less night ahead of me. “Your brother called. Jasper. He’s moving in the middle of January.”
“And then all the Dukes will be reunited.”
“Yeah. Elijah hasn’t bothered you since last week?”
“Not a peep, and no email. I’m going to be the sole parent. I mean, he can always try to prove his parental status, and if he does, well, there’d be no money in it for him.”
“So he’d have to be actually interested in his kid to go through that effort.”
“Exactly.” Another long exhale. “I might be a single mom, but I’m going to be a mama bear.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.” Dishes clinked on the other end.
“What are you making?”
“Spaghetti. I’m having a major carb craving. What about you?”
“No plans yet. Are you making meatballs?”
“I thought I’d work it into my busy social life,” she said wryly.
I didn’t mean to let my groan slip out. “Homemade sauce?”
“Actually, yes. I’ve had it simmering for a while, and now I have a portion set aside to cool and freeze.”
Hunger rumbled in my stomach, but it wasn’t the food I was craving. “Sounds good.”
“Do you… Would you like to come over?”
Yes. Goddammit, yes. But how much did I crowd her? She was being nice. Thoughtful as always.
Christmas Eve was soon enough. I should wait until then. Prove I could get through tonight without seeing her.
She hadn’t been going to invite me until I had called. I would continue to be there for her in the way she needed me to be. “Thanks, but I’ll stay in. You can feed me after I dig you out.”
I could only be strong so long.
“Deal. I’ll keep some in the fridge so I can cook while you’re working.”
Once the last flake fell, I’d be there.
Clover
It ended up snowing closer to ten inches, but the temperature climbed high enough once the storm passed that much of it was already melting. Which also meant the snow was heavier.
I peered out the living room window. Van was outside, carving a path from my parking spot to the road. He’d already cleared the sidewalk and the steps.
I had meatballs and sauce warming on the stove. I’d cook the pasta as soon as he was done, and I had brownies in the oven. Honestly, I was so damn glad not to have to shovel, I’d make him anything. I’d give him a blow job.
Who was I kidding? I’d do that anyway. My hormones were going wilder than when I was in my first trimester.
It was Bean’s fault I was this bothered watching a man with every inch of skin covered do manual labor in my front yard.
He was in black snow pants and a black winter coat.
His gloves were black with red panels, and he’d pulled his black hat down low.
Van looked like the most sinister snow removal service ever, and it was a bigger turn-on than I could’ve anticipated.
He paused and propped a hand on the shovel handle, surveying his work. From my post in the living room, I could see his chest heaving. Those muscles I used to be able to have my hands on were getting a workout, and it wasn’t from me.
He carefully leaned the shovel against my car and took his gloves off. Then he shrugged out of his winter coat. I stayed riveted to the cool glass as if he was stripping all his layers off.
Need ripped through me until I half gasped, half cried. He wasn’t mine anymore.
He never was. We’d had an arrangement, and I had to be able to leave that behind. I could do this.
He tossed his coat onto the hood of my car, hitched up his snow pants, put his gloves back on, and continued shoveling. And I continued staring out the window, my breasts heavy and desire pooling between my legs.
Ugh, I had it bad.
What would be the harm?
A Van who was free to go anywhere and do anything once his business took off. The company I wasn’t going to stand in the way of.
Van’s job would take off. I’d have a broken heart.
The oven beeped, and I left my post. He had to have seen me gawking at him like the worst stalker in the world.
Was he going to Bismarck for Pokémon tournaments? He hadn’t said, but then why would he? Wanting to keep him wasn’t the same as being his keeper.
Was he meeting new people? New women?
None of my business.
I took the brownies out and forced myself to stay away from the window. I could do this. I could be friends with Van. He was Bean’s uncle. We were family.
The sour taste in my mouth wouldn’t go away, so I dug out a glass of milk.
The front door opened. “You are now free to leave your property,” Van called from the entry.
I rushed out like I couldn’t miss one second of him in my place. His hat and gloves were off, and his jacket was already hung up next to mine. I took a mental snapshot for my wishful-thinking folder. He stomped snow off his boots, toed out of them, and shucked his snow pants.
When he saw me, he grinned. “I’ll try not to get your floor wet.”
“For all the work you did, I’ll forgive you if you do.”
He straightened and ran the back of his hand across his forehead. “Now I need a shower.”