Chapter Five #3
“I am,” Elizabeth agreed. “And I cannot repine any part of my life at Longbourn. I suppose it is futile and perverse to wonder what might have been, and why my uncle did not desire that outcome.”
“Would you have liked a life in London?”
“Oh, perhaps,” she mused aloud. “Could I have traded my country rambles for lengthy strolls through museums and galleries, and promenades in the park? I hardly know.”
He laughed. “And this is life in London as you imagine it. Happy thought indeed! But you are a young lady of decided opinions, considerable persuasion, and high courage. You might ask to spend more time with Sir Edward in London, or with your half-sisters, or you might resolve to remain at Longbourn until you marry. Nobody involved would deny you if you wished to do any of these things, or something else entirely, for you are treasured by all your family.”
“This is high praise indeed! I have come a long way in your estimation since last year, when I was merely tolerable, and not handsome enough to tempt you to dance.” Elizabeth could no longer resist the urge to tease him, for she knew not how else to receive his compliments.
Mr. Darcy blanched. “I did say something horrid to that effect to Bingley. Lord, and you heard it! Miss Bennet, I am mortified, and quite possibly entirely stupid.” He stumbled over his steps as he took her hand in his and moved closer to steady himself.
She held his gaze, her shock at his apology softening to something that turned her stomach most pleasantly.
“I am sorry,” he breathed.
She twisted her lips into a playful smile. “You are forgiven, if you can bear me accusing you of murder an hour ago.”
“I fear we shall all be accusing one another ere long. All the more reason you should make amends with Sir Edward. His affection for you must surely be a solace.” Mr. Darcy still held her hand, and he lightly stroked her palm with his thumb.
Elizabeth nodded. Her lips parted, but only a shaky breath came out.
“I think your newly found sisters must surely be a blessing to you, as well. Miss Morland, in particular, might prove to enrich your life even after we leave this castle. Miss Smith is not unlike Mrs. Bingley in her disposition, I believe, and her chosen friend shares your playful ebullience.”
Elizabeth smiled widely, feeling something ease in her chest. “You are right, and determined to flatter me, I think. I am glad to have met them, and I would like it very much if we might all visit Sir Edward in London together. And Jane, too. I love her so dearly, and I would not wish her to feel herself any less dear to me.”
“I am sure that is not possible – and, in fairness, not a reason to be cross with your uncle.”
“You are right,” Elizabeth admitted. “What got my ire up was that I had to face the revelation in the presence of so many strangers, and at such a horrific moment! I knew he was hiding something and beseeched him to tell me along our journey, when we were quite alone. But only when his hand was forced did he confess, and announce my shame to the world. You heard what Miss Denham called me.”
“If she were a man, I would have called her out, or seconded Sir Edward.”
Elizabeth sighed. “He did little to defend me. It seemed his thoughts and feelings were all for Lady Allen, or my sisters.”
Mr. Darcy gave a sudden laugh and eyed her teasingly. “Do you know, I think I have just sketched your character, as you once asked to do of me. I understand you perfectly, Miss Bennet.”
Elizabeth fell into easy laughter with him, and they drew closer as they slowly ambled along the battlements. “I am all astonishment! Do enlighten me; what epiphany have you had?”
“I have deduced, as Miss Morland might say, why you are cross with your uncle. There are three new women you must share his affection with.”
Elizabeth grew a little dizzy and held onto his arm as she began to shed a few tears.
“I meant to tease you, but you are utterly right. Oh dear, how selfish of me! He is my uncle, my indulgent friend since I was a girl, and I was always his favorite. I was but eleven when my first cousin was born, and I recall I was very cross then, too. And yes, last night all I could think of was that I wanted his attention and comfort, and I was vexed to see him bestow it on strangers. I am not only mortified for my aunt’s sake, but if he marries Lady Allen now, I fear I might somehow lose him, that things will change. ”
Mr. Darcy retrieved from his coat pocket the same crumpled handkerchief he had given her the night before, but this time instead of offering it to her, he began to dab at her tears himself.
“And now that you understand yourself, you are a little wiser. I believe there is goodness in you that wishes everybody to be happy.” Mr. Darcy brought the tear-soaked handkerchief to his lips, and then returned it to his pocket.
Elizabeth thought she might fall over. It was this same handkerchief, and not a fresh one, that he had carried with him today.
“Mr. Darcy….” Her fingers curled around his arm, and she tipped her face up as she stared at him, every thought of her uncle replaced by amazement at the man before her, and his tender gesture.
“Lizzy! Are you well?” Cathy came running up to her, and the others trailed behind her.
Elizabeth brought her hands to her cheeks, certain they could see she had been crying. “I am well. I have only been telling Mr. Darcy that I mean to speak privately with Sir Edward for a little while. I begin to think I am ready to have it done with it, and be on better terms with him.”
“We are not far from the rooms my father and brother used when they arrived yesterday. We can retrieve the dossiers and return to the family apartments,” Mr. Tilney suggested.
“No, I can take her back directly,” Mr. Darcy countered.
“If that is what you prefer, Miss Bennet. I believe I recall the way back, and when the others return, I shall put myself at their disposal while you speak with your uncle. And, Tilney, we had better convene with the others and speak together, lest they think you secretive.”
Mr. Tilney stroked his chin. “I would rather not tip my hand as far as Miss Morland’s investigation, but there is much else to be discussed, and your reasoning is sound. But first, the dossiers.”
“I think I prefer to go to my uncle at once,” Elizabeth said, filled with a fresh hope that it might go well after all.
Mr. Darcy smiled at her as he offered her his arm once more and began to lead her back the way they had come. “I hope I have been of assistance, Miss Bennet.”
“Vastly,” she said warmly. “I find I am quite capable of speaking to my uncle with equanimity, and something like hope.”
“You are to be commended for your circumspection.”
“And you are to be commended for your good sense in praising me so well; if you are not careful, I shall come to expect it, instead of your brooding stares.” Elizabeth did a fair impression of the glare she had often received from him, though she could not entirely keep from laughing.
“Is that how I looked in Hertfordshire?"
“Uniformly. But now I suppose that it must have been at a time of great concern for your sister.”
“The night I left is when I reviewed word of her… condition.”
“Oh. How awful. And I was terribly saucy to you when we danced that night. I had made a habit of refusing you – at Lucas Lodge, and when Jane was ill at Netherfield.”
“I felt myself quite tragic for asking you a third time, but I was glad you accepted. There was some disappointment in the turn of our conversation that night; chiefly I regret not speaking candidly with you, for it feels quite easy to do with such a bright creature. It might have gone better, but ever so I am glad that in the end, I could tempt you.”
If his words were not shocking enough, Elizabeth was fairly agape as he raised her gloved hand to his lips.
They had nearly reached her suite, and she remained in a state of flustered silence as they entered the parlor, where Lady Allen and Sir Edward were taking tea.
The pair quickly withdrew their hands, which had been entwined atop the table between them, but Elizabeth only smiled at the couple.
She knew not whether Mr. Darcy had intended to flirt with her so that she could speak cheerfully with her uncle, but this was the effect of his manners.
Elizabeth withdrew to one side of the parlor, while Mr. Darcy led Lady Allen to the other side and began to ask if she had any recommendations for novels that would suit his sister, who was Miss Morland’s age. He had granted Elizabeth a modicum of privacy, and she was ready to face Sir Edward.
He sat beside her on the sofa, though not too near; he was apprehensive, and Elizabeth was heartily ashamed of herself. “I spoke harshly to you; I am sorry for it, and I will not do it again. But I have many questions for you.”
He nodded. “I apologize for not telling you the truth when we had the chance of privacy and comfort. Your reaction was justified, my dear. But let us put that aside.”
“This is a fine beginning," Elizabeth grinned.
“And what would you wish to ask me?”
“Why did you never tell me before?”
Sir Edward’s face was pensive. “I suppose I did not wish to harm Tom and Fanny. They loved you as their own, and did me a great favor in taking you in, even when Fanny delivered a stillborn. I thought not to repay them with some unpleasant alteration to how well things were. You were happy, were you not?”
“I was, but I would have loved them the same if you had trusted me with the truth. And my cousins, I am sure I should have loved more. I had not thought of it, but they are my brothers and sisters, too.”
“They can be, if you wish it, if you do not want to keep it from them.”
Elizabeth considered this. “I hardly know. Perhaps. But what is to happen now? You and Lady Allen are both unwed.”
“I have asked her to marry me.”
“Oh!”
He looked warily at her. “I have loved her for so long.”
“And Aunt Madeline?”
“I was fond of her, and we delighted in our children together. She was the sister-in-law of one of my business associates whose wife was from Derbyshire. Madeline found herself in a situation like Lady Allen. Her sister had six and wanted no more children, and there was no other family to help her hush the scandal. I thought to myself it would be some repayment for how my own scandal had been managed, and I offered to marry her. I wanted children of my own, to raise them, and from the very beginning we got on as the dearest of friends. I told her of my lost love, and of you, and she told me of the lad she had loved all her life, who promised to marry her before perishing at sea. In that loss, we were close indeed, and never much minded that our hearts belonged to others.”
Tears welled in Elizabeth’s eyes. “Then I am glad you were happy, and she was, and that now you can be reunited with Lady Allen and your daughters. Will you see them?”
“As often as I can, and likely more! I do hope so. I never knew of them, though I heard of her marriage when I returned to England, and I grieved for years.”
“I would like us to often be in London together.”
“Lizzy, that is just what we should wish! Margaret means to ask Harriet to come and stay with her, and she wishes to think of some excuse to put about with Mrs. Morland, such as giving Cathy a season with her new friend. You are welcome, and I hope the Bingleys might venture to town when the babe can travel.”
“Then we are in perfect accord,” Elizabeth said. “But have I any other brothers or sisters?”
He gave her a sardonic look. “Really, Lizzy!”
“Oh! And who is my mother? Is she alive? What is she? Did you not love her? Might I know her? Would she wish it?”
Sir Edward chuckled. “She is alive, and I daresay we will be very pleased to meet you in a few days’ time, if Tilney is to be believed.”
“What do you mean?” Elizabeth’s first thought was that there may be some means to leave the castle.
But Sir Edward gave a mysterious smile. “The guests who were delayed – old acquaintance from my feckless youth at court.”
Elizabeth gasped. “Not a member of the royal household.”
“A rather prominent one, known for her dalliances. You were named for her.”
“You cannot mean….”
“So you see, there is a particular reason for you to come to London. The princess is going to be delighted with you.”