Chapter 10
Tex
"How are you feeling about the game tomorrow?" I ask TD on our second nightly video call.
"You really want to know?" he asks, smirking and with just the slightest hint of playfulness in his tone.
"Not really," I joke back. "But seeing as I've just told you about my Bluetooth disaster today"—during the Smith family's service, the Bluetooth auto-connected to my phone, so instead of playing the family’s chosen hymn, it started blasting "Sexy and I Know It" from my gym playlist—"I figure your day couldn't have been any worse. "
He chuckles, and the deep sound reverberates through me.
I was honestly scared that admitting I'd miss him before he left would be a huge mistake.
Instead, it's been a huge win. He said he'd miss me, too, and if my stupid brother hadn't rocked up five minutes early to pick him up, I think TD and I would have kissed.
That's two for two on the almost but didn't kiss tally for anyone counting.
"Today was all last-minute prep and dealing with a few hiccups. I’m just itching to finally play for real. I don't know how we'll stack up yet, but ready or not, tomorrow we do the damn thing."
I mention I’ve been keeping an eye on the forecast for good fishing weather, and he says—unprompted—that we should go together again.
He tells me about an interesting email he read today from a couple of local male cheerleaders, asking if the Grizzlies had any plans for a cheer squad and if they did, would men be allowed to participate.
And then, I do a total one-eighty, revisiting a topic we haven't broached since after it happened.
"Hey, do you remember when I, uh, walked in on you?"
He winces as if he'd rather forget, one eyebrow raised. "I try not to, but yes, I do."
"There's something I need to confess."
"Okay."
"I—I don't know why I'm saying this, really, but I feel it's dishonest to not say it, and I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner or why I've chosen this moment when you're away to—"
"Tex?"
"Yeah?"
"Just say it already."
"Okay. Fine." I close my eyes, take a breath, and when I open them, I let the words fall out. "I've jerked off about you. Several times." Another breath. "Several many times."
"I…see." His raised eyebrow slowly makes its way back down, and an unfamiliar expression settles over his face.
Oh, shit.
Is he mad? Weirded out? Mentally writing out the TaskRabbit job for someone to collect his stuff from my place?
I can see his jaw pulsing, and if there was any way of rewinding the tape and going back thirty seconds and never saying what I said, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
"That's…hot."
"Is that a good thing?"
He smirks, licking his lower lip. "Of course it is. Since when is hot not hot?"
"It's just that I don't know Gen X slang very well," I say with a grin. "Wasn't it you guys who invented 'bad' as 'cool'?"
He rolls his eyes, chuckling deeply. "Think I'm going to have to teach you a lesson in manners when I get back."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
"Oh, I intend on keeping it, alright."
Silence.
Eyes lock.
I gulp out another breath.
I hear what sounds like a rumble coming from TD. Or it could be engine noise from traffic outside his motel room.
"Actually, I don't think I can wait until I come back," he mutters with a focus in his eyes that makes my pulse jump. "Since you've seen me, I think it's only fair I get to see you."
See me what? I'm just about to ask what he means when—Ohhhhhh. I get it.
"You can't be serious."
"I'm very serious."
The only reason I know time is passing is because I can see his jaw ticking. I read that wrong earlier, thinking it was a sign he was pissed off. It's not. It's a sign he's turned on. By me. Which doesn't make any sense but is strangely exhilarating.
We open our mouths to speak at the same time. "You first," I breathe out.
"I was just going to give you an out and say you don't have to go through with anything you don't feel comfortable with."
"Thank you." I let his words settle over me. "I've never done anything like this before. I'm not super experienced with guys."
The traffic outside his room must get a lot noisier because that rumbling sound comes through my speaker loud and clear. He shakes his head, muttering something I can't hear very well but that sounds a little like "Their fucking loss."
"But I feel safe with you, TD."
"You are safe with me. I promise you."
"Okay. I'll do it."
I position my phone on the coffee table, resting against a pile of books, unzip, then settle on the floor. TD is watching every move, his jaw ticking away.
"Touch yourself," he instructs.
I lower my hand and, holy shit, I'm already hard. Guess I want this more than I realized. I start jerking myself, the self-consciousness abating more and more with every stroke.
"Is this…okay?"
"It's perfect," he growls. "You're perfect, Tex."
A rush of endorphins hits me. It's not that I feel bad about my appearance because I think I'm okay on that front, but getting constantly knocked back because of my chosen career is demoralizing. No friends, no boyfriend, it gets to a guy after a while, you know?
But it's never been an issue for TD. From the moment he walked into my apartment, he's been totally cool with everything.
I speed up my movements, fixated on the screen. TD has moved in closer, so his face takes up the entire frame. His hazel eyes feel like they're boring straight through me, and I like that he's so into it. So into me.
I start panting.
"Getting close?" he hedges.
"Yeah," I gasp.
"Good. I want to see you come. For me."
Something about those last two words really does it, pushing me over the edge, and I erupt like a volcano, weeks of pressure and tension releasing.
"There," I say, struggling to catch my breath. "Now we can say we've both seen each other come."
"Yeah." His voice is deep, husky. "Guess we can."