Chapter 46 Poppy
Poppy
Islip out of bed while Nick is still sleeping. I pad quietly across my bedroom and spot his white dress shirt lying on the floor.
I think about putting it on, but then a better idea pops into my head.
I step over to my dresser and grab his jersey, which I wore to his game last night, and slip it on before heading to the bathroom.
When I slide back into bed, he starts to stir. Eyes still closed, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him.
He presses his hard dick against my ass, and I giggle softly.
“Good morning, honey,” he says.
I grin at his sweet pet name for me. “Good morning.”
He nuzzles the back of my neck and kisses my shoulder. “Wait, why aren’t you naked…”
He trails off. He runs his hand over the back of the jersey, where his name is printed across the fabric.
“Oh, damn,” he murmurs. I bite back a giddy smile.
His arms wrap around me tighter. He buries his face in my hair and lets out a soft, satisfied groan.
“You like seeing me in your jersey first thing in the morning?”
He nods against me. “I mean, I like you naked the best, but if you have to wear clothes, my first choice is my jersey.”
I laugh and lightly smack his hand, then turn around to face him. I take in his sleepy smile. So handsome. He cups my face in his hand and kisses me softly.
“I fucking love seeing you wear my jersey,” he murmurs. “I want you to wear it all the time, okay?”
I smile against his mouth. “Okay.” I pull back and run my fingers through his messy hair. “I’ll wear it every time I come to watch you play.”
His gaze brightens as he stares at me. “I play better when you’re at my game and wearing my jersey.”
“You do?”
He nods. “That’s exactly what happened in our last game.
The second I saw you in the stands, wearing my jersey, I felt different.
I was skating faster, playing harder. Coach told me the scouts observing me were impressed with how I played during that part of the game.
” He rubs his thumb softly along the hinge of my jaw. “It was all because of you.”
Tingles gather in my chest, and my tummy dips at the sweetness of his compliment. I kiss him.
“I wish I could take all the credit,” I say when we break apart. “But you’re an insanely good hockey player, Nick. You’re getting that attention because your skill level and work ethic are incredible. You’re going to make it pro, I just know it.”
A hopeful look flashes in his eyes. “Honestly, even if I never make it to the pros, I’d still play the way I do. I’d still put my heart into it and push myself to the max every time I’m on the ice. That’s how much I love it.”
“I get it. It’s your passion. The thing you love most in the world.”
He nods, his gaze soft as he plays with the ends of my hair on the pillow. “What’s your passion, Poppy?”
I’m quiet for a moment. “Tutoring. I love teaching and helping people learn about new topics. I love seeing their expression when a subject or a concept they’ve been struggling with finally clicks.”
“You’re so good at it. You’re so good at helping people.”
I smile. A second later, it fades when I think about how I only have the rest of this year and senior year of undergrad to work as a tutor. Then I’ll have to quit to focus on preparing for law school.
An uneasy feeling drags through the pit of my stomach.
“What’s wrong?” Nick asks in a soft, gentle tone.
“Just thinking about how I won’t be able to tutor when I start law school. I’ll really miss it.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll be too busy. Law school is intense, and I won’t have time for anything other than studying and attending class. I might have time for an internship at a law firm. But that’s it. No more tutoring. Probably no more YouTube channel either.”
That uneasy feeling turns to dread, then sadness. Just thinking about giving up my channel makes me sick. I love working on it so much. I love knowing that I’m helping so many people learn.
Nick opens his mouth and hesitates, like he’s working up the nerve to say something.
“What is it?” I ask.
He lets out a heavy breath. “I think it’s sad that you’re going to have to give up your passion.
” He hesitates again. “And look, I don’t mean to make you question your plans or your career.
But I don’t hear you talk about law school as often as you talk about tutoring or the work you do for your channel.
I can tell how much you love those two things.
And when you do talk about going to law school, you’re not as excited about it. ”
He’s quiet for a long moment, like he’s choosing his words carefully.
“I’d hate for you give up your passion for something you don’t really like. Something you don’t truly want,” he says. “It just doesn’t seem fair to you. You should be able to do what you want—what you’re passionate about—as a career. If that’s what you want.”
Nick’s gently spoken words bounce around in my head. He’s right.
What I want.
What I want is to keep teaching and tutoring, both in person and on YouTube. I love it more than the thought of going to law school or being a lawyer.
“Sorry, I’m not trying to make you second-guess your plans or your life,” Nick says.
“You’re not. Everything you said is true. And I’m glad you said it.”
His brow lifts. “Really?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I’m used to living my life according to other people’s expectations. And when I say other people, I mean my parents.”
Nick flashes a sad smile and kisses my forehead.
“For the longest time, all I wanted was to make them proud. And the only way to do that is to live life on their terms.”
I clear my throat as I work up the nerve to verbalize the thought that’s been floating at the back of my head for a long time.
“But I don’t think I want to do that anymore. I don’t think I want to keep living my life according to my parents’ expectations. I…I don’t know if I want to be a lawyer. I don’t know if I want to go to law school after I graduate. I think I might want to put it off for a while.”
Nick pulls me against him, hugging me tight. “That’s okay, Poppy,” he says softly. “You should do whatever you want. This is your life. No one gets to decide how to live it except you.”
My nerves instantly calm when I’m tucked against his warm body.
He kisses the top of my head. “I’m proud of you for saying how you feel.”
I close my eyes and hum, feeling comforted and settled. I know the fallout from what I’ve just admitted is going to be rough. But I don’t care. Because right now, I’m with Nick. And in this moment, he makes everything feel right.