Chapter 49 Nick
Nick
“Who wants to open the last gift?” Ryker asks as he holds up a small box wrapped in gold paper with a big red bow on it.
We’re all sitting in the living room unwrapping presents.
“Who’s it for?” Anna asks.
“It’s for all of you,” Ryker looks at his wife Madeline, who’s sitting on the couch next to him.
They exchange a knowing smile as they look at each other.
Ryker looks at all of us. “It’s the gender of the baby.”
Everyone gasps. My mom holds out her hands. “Can I open it?”
Ryker lets a grin break free and nods, then hands our mom the small box.
My gruff big brother hardly ever smiles, but today, I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s grinned.
Every time he looks at Madeline, he smiles, then glances at her belly.
And now we know why. They’ve been planning an epic Christmas surprise for all of us.
Ryker pats Madeline’s stomach gently before giving her a kiss on the forehead.
I elbow him. “Way to outshine the rest of us with that gift. You’re definitely the favorite kid now. She’s gonna forget all about that restaurant gift card I got her,” I joke.
Ryker just rolls his eyes. Our mom beams at Madeline. “Did you do this for your mom too last night on Christmas Eve?”
Madeline smiles and nods. “Yeah. She loved it.”
Mom tears open the wrapping paper and opens the box. When she holds up a pink onesie, everyone cheers. We all head over to Madeline and Ryker.
After hugging Madeline, I turn to Ryker. “Dude. You’re gonna be a girl dad.”
“I’m so damn excited.” His smile is wider than mine. I’ve never seen my brother look so happy.
“Let’s hope she looks like Madeline,” I tease.
Ryker just laughs. “I’m hoping that too.”
“Seriously, though. I’m happy for you guys.” I pat his shoulder.
Mom is crying and laughing at the same time as she embraces Ryker and Madeline. I notice Dad is tearing up, too.
Anna grabs Madeline’s hand. “Have you guys thought of names yet?” she asks excitedly.
“There are a few that we like,” Madeline says, resting a hand on her stomach. “It’s funny, before we knew we were having a girl, we were trying to think of both girl and boy names. But we didn’t like any of the boy names we kept hearing. Only girl names.”
“Sounds like it was meant to be for you to have a girl,” Poppy says.
Madeline smiles at her. “We love your name, Poppy. I think we’re going to go with something pretty and nature-inspired, like yours.”
Poppy’s brow lifts in surprise as she beams. “Really?”
Madeline nods. “Our front runners are Willow, Lily, and Summer.”
“Oh, those are all so pretty,” Anna says.
Mom and Dad nod their heads in agreement.
“I love all of them,” Mom says.
Madeline smiles down at her belly. “We’ll wait until she’s born before we decide. We want to meet her first before we name her.”
“I’m a little butthurt that you didn’t even consider naming her after me. Don’t you think Nikki would be the perfect name for my niece?” I joke.
Everyone laughs. Ryker rolls his eyes, but I can tell he’s fighting off a smile.
Dad grabs a garbage bag from the kitchen and starts picking up all the torn gift wrapping paper on the floor.
I walk over to him. “I can get this, Dad. Go sit with Mom.”
“Thanks, buddy.” He sits back down. Ryker stands up and helps me clean up the living room.
I glanced over at Poppy, who’s sitting next to Anna and Madeline, laughing and talking.
Comfort settles in my chest at seeing her with my family. She’s always been around us growing up. But this is the first time I’m seeing her as someone other than my sister’s best friend.
This is my girlfriend sharing the holiday with my family. This is her being a part of our lives.
It’s so perfect. So right. I want her here always.
A tight, overwhelming feeling courses through my chest. It takes a moment before I can put words to it.
I never wanted this with anyone else. I’ve never wanted bring anyone to meet my family. I’ve never pictured them spending every Christmas and Thanksgiving and every other holiday with me.
That overwhelming feeling bubbles up inside of me. I have to take a second and swallow as I process it.
I’ve never felt anything close to this with anyone. Just Poppy.
“Hey, will you help me take these bags into the garage?” Ryker asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I nod and grab a few bags, then follow him outside. We sort through the recycling and take out the trash. He goes to move the trashcan, but then trips over Dad’s toolbox.
“Shit,” he mutters, before catching himself and leaning against Dad’s truck parked next to us.
He looks at the garden shovel sitting just a few feet away.
“Damn. Good thing you caught yourself. That would’ve been bad,” I say.
He nods and sighs. “Yeah. My reflexes aren’t what they used to be. I’m not a young buck anymore like you. You probably would have jumped over the shovel and done a backflip.”
I chuckle. “Just glad you avoided injury. Can’t have my hockey pro big brother hurting himself in a garage mishap in the middle of the season.”
“Pretty soon I won’t have to be so careful.”
I look over at him. “What do you mean?”
He pauses before he answers me. “At the end of this season, I’m retiring.”
My brow jumps to my hairline. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. I think I’m done with hockey.”
I stand there, stunned at what my brother just said.
“You’re the first person I’ve told, other than Madeline. No one else knows,” he says.
I lean against our dad’s truck. For a while, we just stand there, side by side, saying nothing.
“Wow, man. This is a big deal,” I say. “You sure you’re ready to leave it all behind?”
He nods. He kicks out his leg and winces. That’s the knee he’s injured a few times over his career. He still deals with pain and stiffness.
“I’m ready,” he says. “Hockey’s been my life for over fifteen years. It was everything to me for a while. But now I’m ready to do something else. Something more important. Something that won’t take me away from wife and baby for days on end.”
I nod like I understand. Because even though I don’t know what it’s like be married or have a baby on the way, I know my big brother.
I know how hard he worked to make it this far in his hockey career.
At thirty-six, he’s often the oldest guy on the ice when he plays.
He’s also won a Stanley Cup and works harder than any player out there.
Ryker doesn’t give up easily. He doesn’t quit until he’s given all of himself. That’s why he’s done with hockey. And now he wants to give his all to being a dad.
I glance over at him. “That’s awesome, dude. I’m really happy for you.”
His brow lifts slightly. “Yeah?”
“Hell, yeah. Better to go out this way, on your own terms, and not because you got injured or because you got dropped from your team.”
“Exactly.” He exhales. “I love playing hockey. It’s all I ever wanted to do.
But I can’t stand the thought of being gone all the time when my baby’s little.
I wanna be there for her. And I want to be a good partner to Madeline.
I don’t want to leave her to deal with a screaming baby while I’m off playing a stretch of away games. ”
He turns to me and pats my shoulder. “You’re gonna be the lone hockey player in the family soon.”
I crack a smile, despite the anxiety I feel. I want that more than anything. I want to follow in my brother’s footsteps.
“If I make it to the pros and I’m half as good as you are, I’ll be happy,” I say.
His expression warms. I can’t remember the last time he looked at me like that.
“You’re gonna be better than me, Nick.”
My big brother’s encouragement hits me hard. I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face.
“Especially now that you’re with Poppy,” he says. “You’re more grounded and more mature ever since you started dating her. Even the way you play is better.”
I run a hand through my hair, grinning like a cheeseball. “She brings out the best in me.”
He pushes off the truck and turns to go back inside, but I stop him.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
I work up the nerve to ask my big brother a question I never, ever thought I’d ask him.
“How do you know you’re in love?”
He blinks at me, like he wasn’t expecting that.
“You think you might be in love with Poppy?”
I swallow hard. “Yeah, but how do you know it’s love?”
He’s quiet for a moment and looks off to the side before looking back at me.
“You know it’s love when you’d rather do life on hard mode with them, than have an easy life with anyone else.”
Something clicks in my brain hearing Ryker describe it like that.
“You rather fight with them than make love with anyone else,” he says before cracking a smile. “That’s pretty damn cliche. I think I heard it in a movie once. But it’s true. No one holds a candle to my wife.”
I smile feeling settled and certain in a way I haven’t before. Because now I know what I’m feeling. Now I know what it is. Now I can finally put words to it.
“Thanks, Ryker.”
He walks back inside. I head in after him. I spot Poppy in the kitchen washing her hands at the kitchen sink.
She sees me as she’s drying her hands. She flashes that gorgeous smile. “Hey.”
I walk over to her, grab her by the waist and kiss her. She makes a surprised noise before sinking into the kiss.
My family whistles and hollers at us, but I ignore them.
When we break apart, Poppy looks at me, her eyes big and dazed and bright. I feel like I can’t breathe.
Fuck, I love her. I love her so damn much.
“What was that for?” she says through a laugh.
I can’t tell her. There’s no way she feels the same way, not after three months of fake dating and barely one month of being an actual couple.
She’ll think it’s too soon. I’ll freak her out and lose her.
So I hold it all in, hold her close, and try to keep it together.
“Just felt like kissing you.”