9. Ben
NINE
Ben
I ’m silent through the rest of dinner, conversations a fog around me. Can't think straight. Mom and Dad don't seem to notice, probably just assume depression is the cause. That would make sense. I haven't been very talkative during the time I've spent with them over the last few months. Feeling the repercussions of all that is going on. But this is different.
When the guest named Willow walked in with an impressive camera strapped over her shoulder, long black hair flowing with her speed, breasts bouncing, hips full and rocking, it was intoxicating. A heart shaped face with big grey eyes. Long eyelashes fluttering as she apologized for being late, had me speechless. And her lips. Those teeth. Those white teeth. She froze when she saw me, asked who I am. Like I… I don’t know what she was thinking. The introductions happened before she arrived and nobody filled he r in. I haven't been able to look at her because, if I do, I know I might never stop.
Mom rises first, and scoops up the plate from one of their retreat guests, a man named Steve. He objects and she insists on bringing it to the kitchen. Everybody else rises immediately and brings in their own plates and silverware . They don't know it but this was a test. Mom and Sylvia always wanna know who is the most self-serving. The people who expect to be waited on won’t bring in their dish. They do it to pinpoint trouble-people. Those who either don’t like to help others by nature, or weren’t taught how to be polite. There’s lots of other reasons, but those encompass the majority, Mom told me long ago. It looks as if this group doesn’t have any obvious problem people. Even Steve, having no plate and silverware to bring into the kitchen, instead refills everyone’s water glasses from the first pitcher until it runs out, then lifts the second, asking, “Where do I fill the pitchers up?”
Since the past few years I've been doing most of the heavy lifting around the house, with Jonny the only one helping out, I learned, it's refreshing to be here tonight among good people. Kinda wish Jonny was here, too. Makes me not want to go home. Even though I stopped listening to the conversations, I heard no lulls. The energy in here has been easy. Which means I probably stuck out like a sore thumb by not saying anything.
Dessert is next and they've made crème br?lée, my favorite. Mom knows that. Dad and I exchange a look, a smirk on his face, and instantly I understand he planned on my coming long before asking me. I go to grab the dessert napkins from the third drawer and bump into Willow. My excuse me comes out instead as, “Hey.”
Her long eyelashes flutter up. “Hi,” she smiles, and the activity of everyone clearing what remains of dinner’s evidence, disappears.
“You a photographer?”
“No.”
I frown, about to ask more about her, but the sound of Sunflower’s front door opening catching a couple people’s attention. Then all.
Shelby with suitcase in tow strolls into the room. “Sorry I'm late!"
The guests react with positivity but Mom, Dad, Sylvia all freeze where they are. A fist grabs my stomach, twists it into rage. I walk over, “Shelby, what’re you trying to do?”
She tries to walk around me. I block her. "Excuse me! I paid just like everybody else!"
“Where Jonny?"
"Mom is watching him."
Dad asks, "Ben?"
“I’ve got this,” I growl.
"You don't have anything! And you sure don't have me! You ended it, remember?"
"Shelby, this isn't the place." I turn to the group, gaze inadvertently locking with Willow’s confusion. "Excuse me everyone. It was nice meeting you.” I include everyone, scanning the group. “Sorry for the interruption. My wife and I are leaving.” Kicking myself for not saying Ex-wife, I say, “Have a good night,” just to get out of here and let Mom, Dad and Syl repair the damage drama always causes.
"I'm not leaving!"
With a crème br?lée in each hand, Mom says,. "I don't understand, Shelby. We don't have your name on the roster." I know she wants to say, we’d never have allowed you to book a room.
“ My cousin bought it for me. Opal Denny?"
Mom and Dad exchange a look and Sylvia nods, “That's the person who said they would be driving themselves here. I was wondering."
Suddenly innocent-looking, Shelby announces, “Surprise!" And she’s wearing my favorite dress of hers, a floor-length sky-blue summer dress, her blonde curls perfect around her pretty face, “Lord knows I need a break. A retreat is perfect. I've been needing to relax and I really, really wanted to get closer to you. Mr. and Mrs. Cocker. Mom said she’d watch Jonny. I know things have been tough, and we haven't gotten to know each other very well. I want to make that right. I want to keep my family together." She touches my chest with what appears to be love in her eyes. "And I know Ben feels the same. He cares so much about family. He doesn't want ours to split up. He doesn't want ours to be broken. I know in his heart he doesn’t.”
I feel like someone just punched my throat .
The guests shift their weight, nobody knowing what to do.
Anger finds my voice, “Can we talk outside?”
“Which room am I staying in? Oh, I hope it’s the rose-painted one. That’s my favorite. I know it’s got two beds but I don’t mind sharing…”
I swoop down, throw her over my shoulder and walk out, “Dad, get her bag!”
She pounds on my back, screaming, “Put me down!"