Chapter 28 Homewrecker #2
Za lets out a disbelieving laugh when Mum ignored the last part of her question. “Are you serious?”
Dad shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
“You constantly measure me against him,” Za says, gesturing toward me without even looking.
“That is not true,” Mum fires back.
“It is!” Za insists.
I step in before it gets too crazy.
“It’s a big opportunity Za,” I say, keeping my voice level.
Both of them turn to look at me.
Mum’s eyes narrow slightly. “You don’t need to mediate.”
“I’m not mediating, Mum. I’m stating a fact. It’s a big step.”
Za looks at me like she’s trying to figure out whether I’m sincere or performative.
Mum scoffs softly. “Now you’re her defender?”
“She doesn’t need defending,” I reply. “But she deserves respect.”
“Respect?” Mum echoes. “What has she done in this house to earn respect? What goal has she achieved? For God’s sake she is twenty four years of age and she has done nothing of note.”
I…
I’m so disgusted right now. Who speaks to their kid that way?
“Whether or not she has made you proud has nothing to do with her being successful. Za’s success is for her. Not so you can have something to brag about at mass.”
“It’s pointless, Jabari.” Za stands up abruptly. “I get it now. It doesn’t matter what you, or me or anyone says to her. She’ll always think what I do is futile. That’s really what you think of my work, right?”
Mum hesitates just long enough for it to be obvious.
“I think,” Mum says carefully, “that the world is not kind to dreamers.”
“I am not a child dreaming in my bedroom,” Za explains. “I am going to do what I love, whether you approve of it or not.”
“And you will come back with what?” Mum demands. “Any savings? Security? Or more stories?”
Za’s eyes gloss over but she refuses to cry.
“I will come back with experience. If I come back at all.”
If she comes back at all?
“Za…”
“And if it doesn’t work?” Mum presses.
“It will.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
Za’s voice shakes but doesn’t break. “Then at least I tried.”
Mum’s lips press together tightly.
“I leave in three weeks,” Za says again, this time like a declaration instead of information.
Za looks at me then back at Mum.
“I’m going,” she says. “With or without your blessing.”
And that is the moment the room splits for real.
Dad finally speaks. “I will be proud. Do what you want, Chinasaokwu.”
Za sighs, “and Mum?”
Nothing.
“I’m proud too, Za.” I say. “I know you're still mad at me, but I just wanna say I love you and wish you the best.”
“Jabari,” She closes her eyes. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I'm trying my best to be cordial. Please.”
“Zee,” I say.”We gotta unpack what’s going on with us.”
“Do we?”
“Yes.”
“You have been having sex with my friend for months, so I think that bridge is burnt.”
“Hello!” My mum and dad are in sync.
“Who have you been sleeping with?” my Mum asks.
Well… Why not say it now?
“Frankie. We are together now.”
Za rolls her eyes.
“Aht Aht! Is that the real issue Chinaza?” mum presses.
“Oh my God,” I drag. “I messed up guys. This is about my shortcomings. Not Za’s, I fell in love with her friend and ruined their friendship. It’s time you stop ignoring my flaws and highlighting hers. She has every right to be mad at me. I’m wrong.”
“Jabari—” Za says.
“Nah Zee,” I say. “It’s time they accept that I am not perfect. I’m very flawed. We all are. Chinaza is the best of us, okay? Stop going so hard on her.”
The room is silent.
“You’re with Francine?”
“OH MY GOSH MUM!” Za and I shout.
“Just congratulate your daughter,” I ask. “She deserves it.”
“Jabari, I don't need—”
“Congratulations, Chinaza.” Mum’s voice is small. “I— I am proud of you.”
“Can we talk?” I ask quietly as we walk towards the door together.
Za hesitates, then nods.
We step outside. The evening air is cool, the faint hum of traffic filling the silence between us. It’s awkward at first, and I’m tempted to bring up Frankie and our situation which I’m sure played a part in her decision.
However, she’s tense enough as it is. So, I pivot.
“You’re really leaving, huh?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“You sound like you’ve wanted this for a long time.”
“I have.”
“You deserve it.”
She looks away at that.
“It’s good you’re doing something for yourself,” I add. “Something that isn’t about Mum. Or me. Or… anything else.”
Her jaw tightens slightly at that last part because we both know who I’m referring to.
It’s odd though. I came back to England to get to know my sister but I hardly made time for her.
I barely know more now than I did when I arrived.
I didn’t even know this was a goal of hers, I don’t know the role she got.
I don’t know anything.
And I’m sure she wants to keep it that way. A part of me thinks she wants this part of her life for herself. Still, I couldn’t help myself.
“What show are you in?” I ask. “Maybe I could catch a few before you go on tour.”
She doesn’t look at me, “I… I think I need time, Jabari.”
My stomach drops and my eyes gloss. “Okay… I get it. Maybe during the tour.”
“Yeah,” she looks at the traffic. “Maybe.”
More silence.
“You should come to the game then,” I say. “The one at the end of the month.”
She glances at me. “Will Francine be there?”
I hesitate. “I don’t know.”
Za’s eyes search my face. “So you’re not with her.” It’s not a question. “And she’s still not choosing.”
I swallow.
“She can’t give herself completely to me,” I admit quietly, staring at the pavement. “Not when she’s terrified of losing you.”
Za’s expression flickers.
“I’m not asking her to choose anymore,” she says after a moment.
“But you already did.”
“And she didn’t, so what’s the point?”
Silence settles between us again.
“You know what hurts?” Za asks softly.
“What?”
“That I wasn’t even given the chance to process before everything exploded.”
I nod. “I know.”
She looks into my eyes when she asks. “Do you really love her?”
“Yes. “ I confess with no hesitation.
She exhales slowly. “And she loves you?”
“Yeah, or so she says.”
Za looks back toward the house. “I don’t know if I can sit in a stadium and watch you two pretend like nothing happened,” she says.
“I wouldn’t ask you to. I just— Zee. I know we can’t get back to where we were before this. I know me and Frankie fucked up. I know we hurt you. I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. I honestly didn’t think you’d be that upset.”
Her head snaps toward me.
“But… why?”
There’s no yelling in it. That’s what makes it worse.
“Because I thought you wouldn’t care who Frankie sleeps with,” I admit. “I thought—”
“No.” She cuts me off. “Not that. I meant…why Frankie?”
She searches my face like she’s trying to understand something that refuses to make sense.
“You could have anyone,” she continues, her voice thinning. “Literally anyone. Why the one person who means something to me?”
I let out a slow breath because there isn’t a version of this answer that doesn’t hurt.
“Because it’s Frankie,” I say simply. “She challenges me. She doesn’t let me coast on reputation.
She sees through me when I’m being a dickhead.
She knew me before any of this mattered.
She reminds me who I was before the ego got involved.
She’s stubborn. She’s impossible. She drives me mad.
But she’s real with me in a way nobody else is. ”
I swallow.
“And unfortunately, all the things I love… they manifested in the one woman I can’t fully have. Because she’s too scared of hurting you.”
Za doesn’t soften. “You’re not a victim in this, Jabari.”
“I know,” I say immediately. “I’m not pretending to be. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not sorry either,” she adds, her tone sharpening. “Sorry would be stopping. Or telling me. Or even considering my feelings before you both decided this was worth it.”
“That’s not fair,” I start, but even as I say it I know it is.
“You didn’t consider me,” she presses. “Neither of you did.”
“I wanted to tell you,” I insist. “I swear I did. We talked about it. We—”
“But you didn’t.”
The words land clean and final, I don’t argue that.
“Do you think she would’ve chosen me?” Za asks suddenly.
The question shifts the air again. I stare at her.
“I don’t think she wanted to choose at all,” I say carefully.
“That’s not what I asked.”
I run a hand over my face. “I think she loves you differently.”
Za absorbs that slowly. “That’s not comforting.”
“It’s not meant to be.”
She looks past me toward the streetlights.
“Are you happy at least?” she asks after a moment.
The question catches me off guard. Because she wasn’t asking about my emotional state, not entirely. She wants to know if after all this, if everything me and Frankie’s been through and everything we risk, if it was worth it.
“Yes,” I admit. “And no.”
She nods like that makes sense.
“Same.”
There’s something fragile in that shared understanding.
“I’m gonna go now.” She turns and starts walking up the path toward the gate.
“Let me drive you home,” I call after her.
“I’m good,” she says without turning around. “I like to walk and think.”
She pauses at the gate. Then she turns back to me.
“About Frankie,” she says.
I brace myself.
“Even though she loves you, she’s not going to just snap out of this and accept you. She’s stubborn like that. And she probably thinks she made a mistake by not choosing.”
My chest tightens.
“So just… reassure her,” Za continues. “Firmly. Don’t leave space for her to spiral. She’ll come around.”
There’s no bitterness in it.
“You’re telling me to fight for her?” I ask quietly.
“I’m telling you,” she begins, “if you’re going to do this, then do it properly.”
She gives me one last look.
We don’t hug.
We don’t shake hands.
We just stand there for a second longer than necessary, the distance between us filled with everything unsaid.
Then she walks up the street.
I don’t follow.
Nothing is fixed.
Nothing is fully broken either.
And that’s worse.