Cocky

Epilogue

Frankie.

I’ve wiped this counter so many times the marble’s starting to look back at me.

The cloth drags slow under my hand, catching on nothing, because there’s nothing left to catch.

And still, I wipe again.

And again.

The kitchen smells like citrus cleaner and cinnamon from the candles I lit way too early.

Now our whole flat is warm.

“You’re gonna take the finish off that thing,” Jabari says from the couch, mindlessly twirling his hair between his fingers. He’d ask me to braid it the night before but I couldn’t be arsed.

“I’m not nervous,” I respond.

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Good, ‘cause I’m not.”

He lets out a quiet hum, not convinced. I feel his eyes on me even when I turn away, even when I move to the sink and start rearranging dishes that don’t need rearranging.

My hands won’t stay still.

Za’s coming back.

And I don’t know what that means for us anymore.

Jabari pushes off the couch and walks over slowly. He stops behind me, rests his chin against my shoulder, his hands settling at my waist. I relax a little.

“You’re excited,” he says quietly.

I don’t answer.

Because I am.

Because some part of me—the very stupid, hopeful and stubborn part—thinks maybe we’ll just… fall back into it. That she’ll drop her bag, take one look at me, and everything between us will stitch itself back together again. I mean, it’s not like she was gone forever.

Nine months on tour and a few more months bouncing between projects and rehearsals. Text messages here and there. Occasional calls when the time zones lined up and neither of us felt too awkward to answer.

It all leads to this.

“I hope she still likes me,” I confess.

“You kidding? She loves you.”

I scoff. She used too. Now she’s okay with me.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision back then, if playing neutral when she needed me to choose was smart. Then I realized if I was complicit, she would have never stood on her own two feet.

I would never give myself a true chance at love.

And two of us would be in our flat, stagnant in life because we were comfortable in our shell, relying on only each other.

So much has changed since then.

I’ll be in California soon to meet with Imaginate for the Obsidian collab. I can’t believe the Elliot Greene waited for me to wrap up my projects to focus on this.

He really is a patient man.

But I decided not to keep him waiting anymore and hand the reins over to my team. Besides, the game that me and Jabari started had begun taking on a life of its own. It even is nominated for Most Anticipated Release.

I guess he manifested us working together after all.

Still, I wish Za was a part of this. Even though I know she’s finding her own success, mine feels hollow without her.

The buzzer cuts through the room and my whole body reacts before my brain does.

Jabari’s grip tightens just slightly then releases.

“Go on.”

I press a kiss on his cheek and skip to the door, my heartbeat loud enough I swear he can hear it from behind me. I don’t give myself time to think, I just open it.

And there she is.

Same eyes. Same stance. Same quiet confidence that fills a space before she even says anything.

“Ahhhh!” I shriek.

And we embrace. For a second, everything in me settles, I can breathe again but it ends quicker than I expect. She pulls away first and I see her standing just behind Za’s shoulder.

Something in my chest drops.

Who the fuck…

Za grins. “Miss me?”

“Obviously,” I reply, stepping aside waiting for her to address the girl shaped elephant in the room. “Who’s this?”

“Oh!” She smiles brighter. “This is Nia. Since the show’s in town and she doesn’t know anyone around here, I invited her over.”

Nia waves. “Hi.”

“Hi,” I echo. Proper awkward. “So, she from your show?”

“Yeah, remember when you saw me in May? She was on stage too.”

“Oh,” I look her up and down trying to place her. “Who’d you play?”

“You won’t know to be honest.”

Bitch.

Nia shifts her weight. “It’s really nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

My brow lifts before I can stop it. “Oh yeah?”

Za cuts in quickly. “Only good things.”

“Good,” I say, still looking at Nia. “That’s good.”

Another awkward pause.

Nia smiles, a little tighter this time. “This place is nice.”

“Thanks.”

“So…” Za says, glancing between us.

“So,” I repeat.

“Aren’t you gonna let us in?”

Right.

“Yeah—yeah, come in,” I say quickly, stepping back fully now.

They both walk in and Za moves like she knows the space while Nia lingers a second longer, taking everything in properly before stepping further inside. I close the door behind them.

“Shoes off?” she asks.

“Yes please,” I say. “Jabari can’t stand prints after a wax.”

Za cringes at that, like she’s reminded me and her brother are still together.

“So,” I say again, because apparently that’s all I’ve got. “How was—”

“Long,” Za cuts in, stretching her arms. “Good. Exhausting. Amazing. But long.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Another pause.

Nia looks between us, then back to Za. “I told you this will feel weird.”

“This feels very fucking weird.” Me and Za say in sync.

I look at her to see her already looking at me.

Then we chuckle. I guess some things stay the same.

“Finally,” Jabari appears behind us, looking at Za first. “You took your time.”

Za turns, her face lighting up just a little more naturally now. “I was busy being booked and busy.”

He steps forward and hugs her properly.

“Good to have you back little sis,” he says.

“Mhmm” she replies.

Then his eyes shift to Nia.

“You must be her friend,” he says easily, offering his hand.

Nia shakes it, relaxed. “Nia.”

“This is Jabari,” Za says, unnecessarily.

He scoffs as if he’d need introduction.

“Yeah, I figured,” Nia replies, glancing at him now and I pray she isn’t checking him out. “I’ve seen you on the Telly.”

“Most people have.”

And she laughs like it’s the funniest thing in the world. “Wow. Chinaza has a famous brother. Your parents must be so proud of both of you.”

I scratch the back of my neck.

Can this get any more awkward?

“And you’re dating Za’s childhood friend? I don’t know how you do it, Nana. If my friend dated my brother, I’d flip.”

Oh my daysssssss. This is torture.

But Jabari is unfazed.

“How ‘bout I get some drinks? You lot thirsty?” He offers.

“I’m good,” Za waves off politely but Nia is excited.

“Do you have Guinness?”

He nods once, then looks back at me briefly. A check-in.

I nod. I’m good.

Or at least I’m holding it together.

“Cool. I invited Sol and Amin as well. They should be here soon.”

Za groans. “Of course you did.”

“You like them.”

“I like Amin,” she corrects. “I tolerate Sol.”

Fairs.

“Same thing.” Jabari walks off with Nia and Za following. And I just stand there.

Sol and Amin drop by not long after, and just like that the flat fills.

Music kicks in and drinks get poured. What was supposed to be a quiet catch up with my friend turned into a game night. They raid my collection and start playing match ups on Mortal Combat.

Sol talks over everyone, clearly trying to impress Nia and Amin pretends he’s above it for Za’s sake but laughs anyway. Jabari drifts between conversations, checking in, grounding the room without making it obvious.

And I don’t know where I fit anymore.

This isn’t how I planned our reunion.

Za talks about touring. About cities. About stages and rehearsals and late nights and early mornings. And Nia’s right there.

Nodding and adding details. Finishing stories halfway through.

I smile when I’m supposed to.

I laugh when I’m supposed to.

I ask questions when I’m supposed to.

But every now and then my eyes drift to the space between them. To the ease and the history I wasn’t there for. Then I measure it against the space between us.

And it hits me—

She found a new person.

Jabari leans in beside me, his voice low enough that it stays between us.

“You good?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“I am.”

He watches me for a second, he presses a comforting kiss to my nose like he already figured it out. “Give it time.”

I nod.

Even though time is the thing that changed everything in the first place.

By the time the night settles, Sol, Amin and Jabari have taken over the living room, Mario Kart is on the screen now and Nia’s right there with them, already part of the chaos.

Her and Sol had become so cozy, so quickly but the real gag was Amin and Zaza.

I feel the connection the room had and for some reason I don’t share it. Not even with Jabari here. So, I just wander into the kitchen.

I’m at the sink again when Za drifts in behind me.

She doesn’t say anything, just grabbing a towel and helping.

We fall into a rhythm. Passing plates. Drying. Putting things away. Our movements don’t clash, they just… mirror each other.

Like they used to.

For a while, I didn't say anything.

Then I do.

“Nia’s nice.”

Za shrugs. “Yeah. She’s cool.”

“You two hang out a lot?”

“Yeah, most days.”

I focus on the plate I’m scrubbing. “I see.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Please, Cici. I know you long enough to know what nothing means.”

I scrub harder. “You replaced me.”

“I did not—”

“You picked good too. She is so nice and polite and speaks her mind.”

I scrub even harder.

“Francine—”

“And I bet she’s a perfect friend, unlike the slag who slept with your brother—” The plate cracks. “Shit!”

Za stills. “Did you cut yourself? Are you okay?”

Removing my hands from the sink I examine them. “I’m okay.”

She relaxes then cleans up the mess I made.

“Yeah,” I think about my next sentence before I say it. “I don’t think I ever really apologized for ruining our friendship in such a messy way. I took advantage of your trust and it was unacceptable to do something like that to you. I am so sorry, Chinasaokwu.”

She dries her hands slowly, leaning back against the counter.

“Full name, huh?” She sighs. “Look. You don’t ‘ruin’ anything. I could’ve talk to you about it before going off the rails like that—”

“You had every right to be mad.”

“It didn’t excuse talking to you like that.”

“Za, come on. For once just accept that you were wronged without handling it with grace. You don’t have to be the bigger person about this.”

She thinks about it.

“You know, while I was away, I realized that the way I handle things isn’t some character flaw that needs fixing.

I don’t have to be upset and lash out whenever things don’t go my way.

It only makes me feel yucky on the inside anyway.

I prefer keeping my head up and moving forward.

I could yell at you or my brother or my mum ’til I’m blue in the face, but at the end of the day I can’t control you lot.

I can only control myself. You may not get it, but it works for me. ”

Huh.

All this time I’ve been trying to get Za to grow a backbone and stand up for herself. And it just isn’t her.

“I see,” I nod.

“What now?”

“Nothing, I just… I’m happy you're happier. I’m happy you found yourself.”

“I’m happy for you too,” she says with sincerity. “You and Jabari care about each other and that part is obvious. If he really makes you happy and you love him then I’m satisfied with that.”

“I still love you more,” I tease.

“Tuh! Yeah right.”

“I’m serious.”

“Girl, I walked in on his fingers in you. I’m surprised you didn’t turn up pregnant.”

From the living room, Sol’s voice cuts through immediately. “WAIT—WHO’S PREGNANT?”

“No one!” I snap.

Jabari’s voice follows, “What’s going on in there?”

Za and I yell back, “Stay out of it!”

“Seriously though,” Sol appears anyway, because he has no sense. “Why you lot ain’t had kids yet? I wanna be an uncle.”

“Tuh!” Jabari exclaims before he sucks his teeth.

“Because it’s too much hassle,” I explain. “Maybe we’ll just adopt.”

Jabari calls behind him. “And let my good genes go to waste?”

Za rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. It feels easier now.

Not fixed. But easier.

“Anyway, I came over to say, Novis is out of relegation!” Sol announces. “Let’s take shots! Come! Come!”

“We don't have anything to shot, Solace.”

“Bollocks. Jabari said you had Wray and Nephew.”

Oh my days!

“Jabari!”

But from the living room:

“JELLY, COME SEE THIS CHEATING BULLSHIT,” Jabari shouts.

I roll my eyes automatically.

Za laughs under her breath.

“You still let him call you that?”

“Only him.”

She nudges my shoulder.

“Fairs.”

And as I step back into the noise, it doesn’t feel like I lost her anymore.

It feels like we just… found a different way to hold onto each other.