Chapter Nine
Sylvie
The water in the shower felt freezing, even though I could see steam rising to the ceiling. I turned the dial toward cold until my teeth were chattering. It didn’t help. All I could think about was Kenai—and what had just happened. How I needed it to happen again.
I pressed my forehead against the cool tile, trying to get myself under control.
Sure, I liked when a man was dominant in bed—really liked it—but I wasn’t some simpering fool.
I was one of the top employment lawyers in New York, for fuck’s sake.
I’d argued cases in front of federal judges.
I’d gone toe-to-toe with corporate legal teams that had ten times my resources—and won.
And now I was reduced to a hormonal mess who could barely string two thoughts together without my mind begging me to run back out into that room and climb into his arms again.
This feeling, being an omega—or whatever the hell it was—felt like a betrayal of everything I’d built.
My whole career was about fighting for the powerless, proving that being underestimated was an advantage because people never saw you coming.
But this? This biological imperative that made me want to submit, to be protected, to be claimed—it went against every feminist principle I’d spent my adult life defending.
Except…it didn’t feel like weakness. The need burning through me wasn’t about being submissive. It was about trusting someone else. And I had never been very good at that.
I’d been attracted to Kenai immediately, even before this whole mess. In all honesty, if I had run into him in any other situation, I wouldn’t have hesitated to take him home. I would’ve threaded my fingers through that beautiful white hair while he was between my thighs again.
My body throbbed, pain fracturing through me like I was being frozen from the inside out.
My hand was already between my thighs, toying with my clit. It only made the throbbing worse. I got rougher, pressing two fingers inside myself—something I rarely did—but I needed to come, and I wanted it on my terms.
Kenai had been phenomenal, and it was easy to think about his tongue on me again, but as I moved my fingers faster, another man entered my imagination as well.
I’d never had a threesome before. I was no stranger to casual sex, but even finding one man who didn’t make me cringe hard enough to get past it was difficult—let alone two. But with Kenai and Taimyr, it felt like more than a possibility. It felt right.
Me riding on top of Kenai, with Taimyr pressed up behind me. Could I take them both at once? The thought had me pulsing around my fingers. What would their dynamic be like? Would Kenai praise me while Taimyr was a little more degrading? God, yes—I wanted that. I wanted them to absolutely ruin me.
My legs shook, and I was close—so very close. I tightened my thighs and fell over the edge.
It was like a balloon popping. Absolutely nothing. My orgasm came and went faster than I could blink. I wailed softly and sank to my knees in the shower.
My legs shook uncontrollably, but not from relief.
I was sobbing. The ice-cold water made it worse, every droplet feeling like a caress I desperately needed but couldn’t satisfy.
My skin was too tight, my body aching with an emptiness that went bone-deep.
I’d made it worse. This wasn’t just arousal anymore.
It was torture. A gnawing, relentless ache that made my hands shake and my vision blur. I needed them. Not wanted—needed.
I’d never felt like this before, like something essential was missing.
The omega in me was screaming that the men I needed were right outside, that they could make this stop, that all I had to do was open the door.
And the rational part of me was getting smaller and smaller, drowned out by the certainty that if I didn’t have them soon, I would actually break.
I should want to go home, tell them I needed to leave. But every time I even thought that, it caused an even worse pang in my chest—like being separated from them would rip out my own heart.
I turned off the water, trying to cling to the tiny part of me that was still sound of mind.
My phone sat on the bathroom counter, peeking out of my robe pocket.
Wrapping myself in a towel, I grabbed it, somewhat surprised to see full bars of service.
A missed call from Grandma Rose appeared on the screen, followed by a text:
Where are you? Your mother said I needed to pick you up.
I hit the call-back button. Two rings, and Grandma answered.
“Sylvie, I’ve been waiting around this market for over an hour. You know I have better things to do.”
What was I supposed to say? Sorry, Grandma, I’m ditching you for a magical sexcapade all week. See you at Easter. Yeah, that would go over well—on so many levels.
I didn’t want her to worry, not that Rose was much of a worrier, but I needed an excuse that would end this conversation quickly. Luckily, I was good at detecting liars, but I was even better at being one. The key was to base the lie on the truth.
“Sorry, Grandma. Actually, I’m…” I took a steadying breath. “I’m headed back to Manhattan. Work called, and they needed me.”
“Oh.” The silence on the line was deafening. “Your mother will be disappointed.”
“I’m sorry. It really is an emergency. I’ll take more time off after Christmas when the case is—”
“Of course you will, darling.” Another long pause. “Sylvie, are you safe?”
What sort of question was that? Probably a valid one, considering where I was. But despite everything happening to me, the one thing I knew for sure with these men was that I was safe. It didn’t make sense, but I hadn’t built a career on self-doubt.
“Yes, Grandma, everything’s fine. It’s just work—”
“Well then. I’ll see you in the new year.” She hung up without another word. Okay then.
My heart twisted, followed by another wave of agony that made my knees shake. There was really only one thing to do. I threw on my robe, the fluffy material a small comfort.
I heard Kenai and Taimyr’s voices from the main room—their tones serious. Before I even realized what I was doing, I’d opened the bathroom door and snuck through the bedroom into the main area, keeping out of sight of the kitchen where they were both standing.
“I almost bonded her.” Kenai’s voice was quiet, almost anguished. “Tai, I couldn’t help it. It just felt so right, and I—”
“Hey.” Taimyr’s tone was gentle. “It’s okay.”
Kenai shook his head. “She ran from me the second it was over. I should’ve been taking care of her. I pushed too hard.”
“You gave her exactly what she needed, even if she’s too scared to admit it,” Taimyr said softly. “Who does that remind you of?”
There was a pause, then Kenai let out a shaky chuckle, followed by a long sigh. “What if I ruined this? What if she leaves and I never—”
“She’s not going to leave.” Taimyr’s voice was firm. “She may not understand it, but you two are scent matched, aren’t you?”
Kenai nodded, and my heart skipped a beat. What did that mean? Is that why he smelled so good now? I pressed my back against the wall, trying to calm my racing heart.
“We’ll figure this out.” I heard movement, fabric rustling. “Come here.”
I peeked around the corner again and saw Taimyr pull Kenai into his arms, tucking Kenai’s white hair behind his ear with such tenderness it made my chest ache. Kenai sagged against him like he’d been holding himself together for far too long.
“I missed you,” Taimyr murmured, pressing his forehead to Kenai’s. “All this union business has kept us apart.”
“I missed you too.” Kenai’s words were muffled against Taimyr’s shoulder. “Gods, I’m so tired of this.”
“Don’t say that. How many of your clan were lost last year? We can’t let him keep getting away with this. You said it yourself—unionizing will legitimize our—”
The word unionizing triggered the very small part of my brain that wasn’t currently spiraling into panic. They were trying to unionize? I could help with that. That was something I knew, something concrete I could focus on instead of the sick feeling in my stomach.
Because Kenai had a partner. Of course he did. And I’d just—we’d just—
Oh god. What had I done?
“Excuse me…” Both of their gazes snapped to me as I stepped out from behind the fireplace, clutching my robe tighter. “Sorry, but did I hear that you’re trying to unionize—”
My voice broke as I looked between them, still close together, Taimyr’s arm wrapped around Kenai’s waist. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. You should’ve told me you were together. I would never have…I wouldn’t have—”
Kenai’s eyes widened. “Sylvie—”
“I’m not a homewrecker.” The words tumbled out in a rush, humiliation burning through me hotter than the heat. “God, this is such a mess. I’m such a mess. I should go, I should—”
“Sylvie, stop.” Taimyr’s voice cut through my spiral, firm but not unkind, resonating with something that immediately had me frozen in place. “You’re not a homewrecker.”
“But you two are—”
“Bonded mates, yes,” he confirmed, moving toward me slowly, like I was a spooked animal. Which…fair. “Have been for years.” As he approached, his scent wrapped around me—wild tundra flowers and petrichor married to earthy cloves. Just like in Kenai’s bed. Fuck me.
“Then why would Kenai—” I gestured helplessly toward the other room, where we’d just had very loud and apparently magical sex.
“Because reindeer shifters don’t have the same relationship structures as humans,” Kenai said softly, coming to stand beside Taimyr. “Most human relationships are pairs. Ours…aren’t always. Especially not when there’s an omega involved.”
“We’re herd beings, Sylvie,” Taimyr explained. “Our relationship structures reflect that. Two alphas bonding isn’t uncommon, but it’s not meant to be exclusive. It’s meant to be a foundation that can support an omega—and any other mates who feel right.”
“Other mates,” I repeated faintly.
Kenai took a careful step closer. “When I was with you, I wasn’t betraying Taimyr. I was…inviting you into what we already have. If you want that. If you—” He swallowed hard. “If you don’t run from us.”
My legs felt shaky. “Because you want me to be your mate?”
Kenai stepped toward me and grabbed my hand. “It’s not a want, Sylvie. From the moment I met you, your soul called to mine.” He enveloped me in his arms, and I immediately rubbed my nose along his neck, inhaling his scent—fresh and comforting. “What do I smell like to you?”
“Like home.” The words were out before I could stop them, and Kenai’s chest rumbled with pleasure.
“Because your soul already recognizes the truth—that it’s meant to be bound to mine, to T—”
I pushed out of his arms.
“I need to sit down,” I said weakly.