26. Crossroads
Crossroads
"Fu-uck," he growled, pulling her toward him by the shoulders. His kiss was fire—hot and urgent. Nothing like the soft exploratory kisses they'd shared before. His hands searched under her shirt and hers were buried in his hair, scraping his scalp with her fingernails.
When they came up for air, she found herself half-sitting in his lap and wondered at the acrobatics that had gotten her there.
She kept one hand on the nape of his neck and moved her other down to his chest, the warmth of his lean, muscular body making her squirm in anticipation.
She slipped her hand inside his shirt, caressing his smooth skin.
"You're killing me, Claire," he whispered as he kissed her again. His hand kneaded her breast under her blouse. He released her mouth and trailed kisses down her jawline to her neck. She gasped when he licked at her collarbone.
"Oh, my lands!" His tongue on her skin sent shivers through her body and an ache grew in her core. His hand left her breast and traveled down her skirt before moving under and kneading her bare leg. As he caressed his way upward, she accommodated him, slightly opening her legs.
He froze, then pulled away, his hands gently pulling her skirt down where it had ridden up.
Claire watched his face, dazed by the sensations flowing through her.
She opened her mouth to ask why he stopped, but he put a finger over her lips and quietly shushed her.
She heard it then. Voices coming near. They stared into each other's eyes as a group of people walked past the back of his car toward the hotel entrance.
Noah slowly exhaled and broke eye contact first. "My god, Claire…"
She touched his face until he looked at her again. She smiled and asked, "So, is that a yes?"
"What?" he asked in confusion. Her heart expanded. She wasn't the only one who was dazed.
"'Yes, Claire, I'd love to come up to your room and finish what we started in the car,'" she said, grinning at him.
She watched the myriad of emotions crossing his face and crumbled a bit as resolution settled in. He didn't have to say anything. His answer was as clear as a West Texas sky at high noon. Claire straightened her skirt and shuffled awkwardly back to her seat.
While they fidgeted with their clothing, it didn't escape her notice that he adjusted his jeans to accommodate his obvious erection. She sat silently, waiting for him to speak first. She'd been pretty clear about what she wanted.
His voice cracked when he spoke, and he had to clear his throat and start again.
His words were raw and came out as a growl.
"You don't know how much I want to follow you up and continue this.
" He moved his hands back and forth between them.
"Even the last few days, back here in the real world, I've had trouble keeping my hands to myself.
There were a couple of times at work where I wanted to pull you into a closet and kiss the sh—er, stuffing out of you.
" His sardonic smile warmed her heart. She knew the admission was hard for him.
"But?" she prompted.
"I've been here before, Claire. Where I caught feelings for someone I worked with.
It didn't end well. I thought she was the one.
I saw marriage in our future. Instead, she destroyed me.
Personally, yeah, but professionally too.
My reputation at work suffered, and it took a long time before people at work started trusting me again. "
"Did you do something bad?" she whispered. Please don't let him say yes . It would devastate her if he turned out to be like Stephan.
He snorted. "No. She did. She cheated. Multiple times. And when I ended it, Julie made sure everyone heard her version of the story. She painted me as the bad guy." He paused, his hands clenched into fists as he looked away. "I couldn't believe how fast people turned against me."
Claire reached over and took his hand. Julie. His reason for keeping his distance had a name. She held on until his fingers slowly curled around hers.
"I know what that's like," she said softly. His gaze met hers, curiosity replacing the pain in those stunning golden-brown eyes.
She swallowed. "At my last job," she said, her voice tight, "one of the guys kept hitting on me. I kept telling him no, over and over. When he realized I wasn't going to say yes, he set out to…" What was the word Noah used? "Destroy me."
Noah's jaw tightened and his nostrils flared. "Did he hurt you, Claire?"
The sharp edge to his voice had Claire rushing to reassure him.
"No. No, it never went that far. But he scared me.
" She drew in a breath. "At first, it was subtle, like moving things around on my desk or making suggestive comments to me.
When I didn't react, he escalated to catching me alone and saying nasty things to me.
The more aggressive he got, the more afraid I was.
I didn't know how to handle it. There was no fight or flight. I was all freeze."
Her voice dropped. "One time, he caught me in the supply room and wouldn't let me leave.
It was only fifteen minutes, but seemed like hours.
I thought I was going to have to scream to get out.
" She inhaled slowly and then exhaled. "Lucinda—the friend who helped me move in—told me what to say if he ever tried anything again.
Statements full of phrases like HR, sexual harassment, formal complaint. "
Noah squeezed her hand, then threaded his fingers through hers. "Is that why you reacted so strongly when Srini closed you in your office?"
Claire nodded, tears threatening. "The whole thing made me feel helpless. Stephan was so much stronger than me. He never laid a hand on me, but in that closet, he'd blocked the door. And in that moment, I realized just how powerless I was. If he'd wanted to…"
She shuddered and wiped her cheeks with her free hand. "After I threatened him with HR, he changed tactics. He started tearing me down in front of the team and to our boss. Then he went one step further and sabotaged my work—accessed my code and planted errors."
She sniffed. "After so long, you start to believe you're the problem. That you really are screwing up and making those mistakes."
Her voice cracked. "But Luce—she worked in quality assurance. She had access to the logs. And when my boss started questioning my performance, she pulled the receipts." Claire smiled. "Lucinda proved what he'd done and saved my job."
She fell silent, her thoughts drifting back to those awful months when she'd thought she was going to have to leave her job and find somewhere else to work. The stress had triggered more seizures, which only made things worse with her boss. It had felt like a slow unraveling that she couldn't stop.
"What happened after Lucinda exposed him?" Noah asked softly. He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
She gave him a tremulous smile. "They fired him. Escorted him out the door. My boss apologized to me, but I no longer wanted to work there afterward. He'd lost my trust."
"He should've believed you."
"Yes. But when one door closes…" Her smile grew. "That's when my dad sent me the job opening at Caprock. Talk about perfect timing."
Noah palmed her cheek with his free hand. "I'm sorry you went through that."
She covered his hand with the one he wasn't holding. "Thank you. I'm sorry you went through what you did. How did you gain your reputation back? The respect everyone has for you now is obvious."
"Ah." He smiled and moved back, letting go of her hand.
"Thanks for saying that. Honestly, time and maturity have served me well.
You have to understand, it happened when I was very young.
" He rubbed the back of his neck and exhaled.
"Most people have forgotten, but I never have.
It was a hard lesson to learn. Never sleep with someone from work.
" He turned and stared at something outside the car.
"I see." She swallowed and chewed on her bottom lip. Suddenly, her clothes were too tight, making it hard to breathe. So this was what it was like to put yourself out there and get rejected.
Before she could say anything further, he shifted back to her. "You don't know how hard it is for me to say no to you, Red." He lifted a lock of hair and let it slide through his fingers. "But I think we should get some distance from it." He sighed.
"It?"
"This attraction between us."
"You want distance?"
"It's better for us. We're coworkers." He looked away.
Claire frowned, her eyebrows coming together.
The man was frustrating. That song about running hot and cold started playing in her head.
She shook her head, then lifted her chin.
Whatever. She got the message. He had personal demons, and she was happy to let him fight them, but that didn't mean they had to lose the ground they'd gained.
They'd become friends, and she was determined to at least keep that intact.
"I understand." Claire shut down her inner dialogue, sat up straighter, and flicked her hair over her shoulder.
In her head, she pictured herself doing her best I Am Woman pose, with her chin up and her hands on her hips.
"So, when are you back in Houston? Because you do owe me a steak dinner. Right?"
Noah's eyebrows shot upward in surprise. "Yes, I believe I do. I'll be back after the first of the year."
"Okay." She gathered her purse from the floor where it had fallen during their… kerfuffle? Brief spell of madness? Before she could overthink it, she pressed her lips against his in a hard kiss goodbye and opened the car door. "Goodbye, Noah."
She shut the door before he could respond and walked away. He just thought this was the end but she wasn't done yet.
Noah slumped in his seat as he watched Claire walk away.
"Damn it!" He thumped the steering wheel of his car. The urge to fling open his door and run after her was almost unbearable. Memories surged—her soft, luscious hair slipping through his fingers, her body so compliant, the way she moaned as his hands explored her curves and valleys.
"Argh, Claire. You're killing me." He scrubbed his face, desperate to rid himself of the images playing in his mind. She was flying back to Houston tomorrow. He wouldn't see her for three weeks, and he hated that they'd ended their evening this way.
Telling her no was the right thing. He knew it. So why did it feel so wrong?