49. Locke
LOCKE
It’s starting to feel like there’s this great big secret I’m at the center of that no one is telling me. Don’t do this. Don’t trust the Bone Breaker. Pity you’re a Bone Breaker.
Why? Why is this Glitch looked down upon so badly?
What have I fucking done to deserve this shit?
Why have previous Bone Breakers solidified some mysterious reputation?
Even the fucking system keeps telling Vesper to leave me, to stay away from me. She doesn’t know why or else she’d tell me. Instead, we’re just constantly in this loop, listening to other people give us shit about traveling together.
She’d stormed off. Rightfully so. I wouldn’t want to stick around for this bullshit either, but Havoc is still standing in front of me, watching me with that smug ass look on his face, clearly pleased at the outcome.
He doesn’t understand that Vesper storming away has nothing to do with her deciding to leave me behind and everything to do with her being tired of our bullshit.
She’s not leaving me. At least, not yet.
But Havoc had said I might be the one to kill her . . .
I’m a fuck up. I was a fuck up in Dross, always making the wrong choices.
I’d assumed the Harrow would be the same .
. . until I’d met Vesper. She’s a spot of brightness in a dark world, one I never expected to find.
Yeah, I still make terrible choices, clearly, but I try to make the right ones sometimes. For her.
But had I fucked up so far back that there’s no hope for me now?
The way Havoc is looking at me right now, that thought feels like it has some merit to it.
“What is it you’re not telling me?” I ask.
My words are more of a growl, danger in every word.
I don’t like Havoc. At first it was because of the propaganda used to trick us Wastrels into the Harrow.
Havoc hasn’t been one of those people in a long time, not when he’s Luxe’s golden boy.
Not when he seems to be everywhere, on every wall, every building, in Dross.
Now, I don’t like him for a different reason.
He doesn’t fucking deserve to be in Vesper’s presence. Fucking asshole.
Havoc stares at me as I process all my emotions, watching me carefully. It’s harder to cover how I feel now than it used to be, something I’ve noticed since I leveled up, but I don’t care. So what if this bastard knows I don’t like him? Maybe it’ll hurt his ego a little.
“How does it feel every time you break a bone?” Havoc finally asks, the question careful and slow so I won’t mishear him.
“Every time you crack your knuckles?” He takes a step closer.
“Does it feel like a drug? Does it feel better than any sex you’ve ever had?
” He leans in and I clench my fists. “Does it feel better than she smells?”
I stiffen. “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?” I ask.
Havoc points to the barcode on my face. “Mother Remainder?” I don’t answer, but he finds the answer written in my expression. “Does she still use Shiver on her concubines?” My eyes meet his. “That’s what I thought. She loves drugging her pets.”
I grit my teeth. “What’s your point, asshole?”
“Shiver is addictive, and judging by that barcode, you were one of her favorites,” Havoc continues. “So clearly, you had a very specific addiction before you entered the Harrow.”
“The Harrow cures you of that stuff—”
“It doesn’t,” Havoc growls. “It stops diseases from getting worse. It slows your aging for the most part. But it does not cure you of your ailments or addictions.” He tilts up his chin, looking down his nose at me.
“Ask yourself why you haven’t thought about Shiver once since you picked your Glitch.
” He steps back. “That’s where you’ll find your answer.
” He turns and starts to walk away, but before he gets too far, he tosses a few last words over his shoulder.
“And read the fucking information on your Glitch a little closer, Bone Breaker.”
I’m left there in the street, my eyes following the rushing water of the river, left to think.
“Wow,” Steve says. “The Warden is, like, totally a prick. What nerve that guy has!”
“Tell me about it,” I grumble, my eyes on the water. Steve’s light reflects off the dark river, dancing along the surface as bright as the moon that rises.
“It’s alright, Lockey Poo!” Steve continues. “You’ll always have me!”
Yes, I’d been addicted to Shiver. All of Mother Remainder’s people are.
It’s her way of ensuring obedience and loyalty.
When you’re having withdrawals, you’ll do anything for her.
That’s the way she likes it. And yes, I haven’t exactly craved it since I picked my Glitch, but in that same timeframe was when I began to care for Vesper.
I’d assumed it had softened because another addiction had taken over. An addiction for the sunlight that Vesper emanates.
How does it feel every time you break a bone?
It feels . . . euphoric. Better than any hit of Shiver had ever felt. I stare at a man walking past and can almost feel his bones move as he walks, can sense his fucking skeleton. My mouth waters and I can almost taste his marrow. I take a step toward him and stop, shaking my head.
What the fuck am I doing?
“Fuck,” I groan, plopping my ass down on the nearest bench and staring at the water.
This place feels safe enough to sit, but I know there are dangers lurking behind every corner, especially at night.
There always are. But that’s nothing new for me.
Dross had been nothing but danger as well.
Our world is nothing but trading one danger for another.
I won’t die by Black Lung here, but the fucking howler monkeys in the Verdant Nexus could take me out.
A rival gang won’t attack me just for being one of Mother Remainder’s pets here, but the manager of the Howling Wind Ice Hotel fucking could.
I’m not afraid of the danger anymore. It’s expected.
At least I do have the Ophanim with me. Steve may make it difficult to sleep, but he’s at least okay company.
It’s hard to be afraid when he’s here with me.
Besides, there are new things to be afraid of.
Like losing her.
Taking a deep breath, I open my interface and go back to the very first menu of my Glitch. I hadn’t read much of it, only that my strength would go up and I’d be able to pummel my enemies. I’m a Tier Two now, but I bypass that menu to go back to the Glitch Selection.
GLITCH PATH SELECTION: BONE brEAKER
Their power is not borrowed, not gifted, nor begged. It is torn from their own marrow. The Bone Breakers are feared among all. Where others seek allies or tricks, the Bone Breaker embraces only pain. They do not mend. They do not rest. They break, and grow stronger.
The Bone Breaker glitch comes with great strength, and powerful addiction. Such power comes with a price: every connection the Bone Breaker will ever make will be tainted by the hunger for bone.
I swallow the bile that rises in my throat. There isn’t much information, the information purposely vague, and even this is a warning that gives no clear information. But the words there paint a picture I’m starting to understand.
I fucked up. I made the wrong choice again.
And it could very well hurt the first person I’ve ever truly cared about besides myself.
“Ah, so you finally realize what you are then,” Cipher says, finally chiming in. “Bone Breaker.”
I hang my head in my hands and let the self-pity swallow me whole.
Steve’s rings spin a little faster in sympathy.