30. Clay
Chapter 30
Clay
The familiar, offensive scent of antiseptic fills my nostrils. It takes four heavy blinks for my vision to clear. The lumpy metal-free mattress does nothing to support my body. Deep down, I always knew I’d end up back here. I promised myself I would be ready, that I wouldn’t show fear, but it takes every ounce of my willpower to hide the terror on my face as I sit up and take in my surroundings.
I guess cell upgrades haven’t been in the budget since my last visit. One wall is frosted white glass. That’s new. Another wall is the familiar window leading into an anteroom, and the other two are solid reinforced concrete.
I’m dressed in white joggers and a white t-shirt with white socks. I’m back in monochrome hell, but this time is different. This time, I have something to fight for. Someone to fight for.
Fiona.
Eli’s words punch me in the back of the skull. “Well done, Fiona. Edgar will be pleased.”
No. I refuse to believe it. Eli works for Edgar, and he’s on our side. But if she’s related to Candace… fuck . I can’t wrap my foggy brain around it. All I know is that I love her more than I ever thought I could love someone, and my powers seem to agree with me. They never reacted that way around Candace. That has to mean something.
I stand in the middle of the room and close my eyes, performing the breathing exercises Charlie taught me when we first escaped. Infinitum had to beat my powers out of me, and they’d only show up in life or death situations. After that close call with Sylvie a few months after she rescued me, I finally gained some control. My energy comes forward now, but it’s muted. I can’t even pull enough electricity to power a lightbulb, but it’s an improvement.
“Good morning, Clayton,” a familiar voice says. Dr. Chen appears in the anteroom with his hands clasped behind his back. He wears the same wire-framed glasses perched on his nose. There’s no sign of aging other than the few wisps of graying hair near his temples. My stomach tenses, but I pull my mask on and do my best to stay sane.
“Well hey there, Doc. It’s been a while. The dramatics were a bit over the top. You could have called if you wanted to catch up.”
Dr. Chen purses his lips. “I see Raven hasn’t taught you any manners.”
I shrug. “Nah. Too busy teaching me how to kill all of you motherfuckers.”
“We’ve apprehended one of your comrades,” he says, and my stomach drops. The frosted wall to my right buzzes and turns transparent, revealing an identical cell next to mine. Paul stands in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. He doesn’t move, but his eyes tighten when they meet mine. I did this. I got him captured, probably killed, because I wouldn’t let them take Fiona.
“What do you want?” I ask Chen.
He smirks. “Tell us where to find Raven.”
I bark a laugh. “Aw Dr. Chen. You found a sense of humor. Good for you.”
“Did you forget you don’t have a choice?”
I shrug. “It took, what, 3-4 months for me to become your puppet? A lot can happen in that time.”
“Our methods have improved.”
Paul reaches for me before the wall between us returns to concrete and a man I don’t recognize steps into the small anteroom with Chen. An invisible force slams me against the wall and I can’t move anything but my head. The door slides open and Chen and the man stop on either side of me. Chen pulls out a rubber disk and peels the backing off before he slaps it onto my temple.
“Call me when you’re done.”
The man nods at Chen, and he leaves.
“Alone at last,” I breathe, but the man ignores me, keeping his gaze on my chest as he stands in front of me at parade rest.
“How long have you been Goon Number One?”
Silence.
“Do they pay you well? Good benefits?”
Silence.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Who did they kill to get your powers to show?”
A tiny flutter of his eyelid.
“Was it your mom? Dad? Sister? Wife? How about a brother?”
He swallows.
“Brother, then. Was it just the one? I got a twofer special. Both of my parents. Except the idiots injected me with the wrong activation serum. I never got a response to my strongly worded letter to management.”
His gaze flickers to mine before he straightens his spine.
“Yeah, it was pretty fucking brutal. How old was your brother?”
He licks his lips.
“Was it your little brother?”
“Stop talking.”
“What’s your name?”
He frowns and inspects the disk on my head.
“Is it not working?”
He removes it and puts it on my other temple.
“Hate it when that happens. Technology, am I right?”
I test his hold, and he narrows his gaze. “Are you serious?” he asks.
I grin. “Can’t keep an inmate from trying.” I pull on my electricity again, but it’s just a flicker.
The thing on my temple buzzes and beeps and Goon Number One returns to parade rest. “Catch you on the flip side,” I say before it feels like I’m tilted backwards into swirling black water. It fills my mouth, my nose, and I come up sputtering for air.
“Are you okay?” Fiona asks. We’re in the lake and she smiles at me. My heart floods with relief and I kiss her.
She returns the kiss, giggling before she pushes me away. “What was that for?”
My eyebrow furrows as I try to respond. Infinitum took her. Wait…no. That’s not right. Is it?
I blink, and it’s nighttime. There’s a small fire going on the lakeside and we’re wrapped in towels, her leaning against my chest as we gaze out over the moonlit lake.
“I’m ready to go to the bunker with you,” she says.
“I’m so glad. You’ll be safe there.”
“Is it far?”
I open my mouth, but stop when her face flickers. She turns into Sylvie, then Liv, then Vera, for a half second before Fiona smiles up at me.
This isn’t right. Lightning strikes a tree on the other side of the lake, and I remember everything. They captured us. This is a simulation and I’m aware of it. Holy shit.
“We should go inside,” Fiona says.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t want you to get zapped,” I say, and she smiles before she stands. We put out the fake fire and I glance around the fake lake. Damn, this technology is insane. “How long would it take to get to the bunker?” she asks. There’s a sense that we’ve been here a while, and have been talking about anything and everything leading up to the question. Was it always that fast? I guess it’s efficient to comb through everything as quickly as possible. But now I can play along.
“It’s in Colorado, in the mountains. It wouldn’t take more than a day or two by car.”
She laughs and pats my arm. “You already told me about that bunker, silly.”
No. I hadn’t, but Eli already knew about that one. Shit . I need to think faster. “Oh, right. I forgot.”
“So Raven is at the new bunker?”
Geez, captain obvious.
“Why does it matter?” I ask, because that’s what I would say if this was real.
She shrugs, and we’re naked in bed, her mouth trailing down my body. Okay, props for finding the perfect distraction, but the idea of making love to a fake version of Fiona makes me want to vomit. I sit up, faking a cough.
“My spit went down the wrong pipe,” I say, moving towards the bathroom.
Her laughter follows me. “Did I make you swallow your tongue?”
When I shut the door behind me, I’m nineteen again, and Candace is standing in front of me in black lace lingerie. My whole body jolts. It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.
She traces her finger down my face. “Do I affect you so, my love?”
I’m not supposed to remember that I hate her as much as I…but no. I don’t love her. Love doesn’t abuse and manipulate. Love supports you and eases your burdens. I’ve only known Fiona for a few short weeks, but she’s shown me what real love is. These fuckers won’t break me this time.
And I’ll be damned if I let these assholes force me down memory lane hell. I grab her by the throat and I pull on the full force of my powers. “Don’t think I won’t kill you again and again.”
Her eyes widen and I’m slammed back into the swirling black water. I pop my eyes open and meet the terrified gaze of Goon Number One. My palms cinch around his throat, holding him to the cement wall as lightning bounces around the room. An alarm bleats in the background, but there’s no time to figure out what’s happening. I yank the disk off my temple and it crumbles to the ground.
“Clay!” Paul bellows from the next room. Goon Number One is about to pass out. I could kill him, save him from this hell, but he should get the chance to choose how he wants to live this life before I take it from him. I loosen my hold and his feet slide to the ground.
“This will all be over soon. Be ready.”
He frowns, searching my face. I zap him with just the right amount of electricity for him to go unconscious.
“Clay!” Paul screams again, banging his fist on the wall.
“Stand back,” I yell, giving him a few seconds to move before I blast a hole in the wall. It turns transparent as the wires and glass disintegrate. Paul hustles through the hole and I grab the disintegrating disk from his temple.
“Why aren’t the simulations working?” he asks.
“Hell if I know. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
He punches the door, but it barely leaves a dent. Whatever drugs they pump us with must still limit him. “Wuss.”
He rolls his eyes at me as I use my electricity to make another hole. We jog down a hall and through a door, but just as Paul speeds, I grab his arm. “Wait. I have to get Fiona.”
He frowns. “There’s no time.”
We duck as gunshots fly across the courtyard, but I’m not leaving her behind.
“Go. I’ll catch up.”
He yells my name as I speed past the goons and inside the building, searching every room until I find her. She’s slumped in a chair in an interrogation room. Her eyes widen when she sees me through the glass wall.
I make a hole through it and drag her against me.
“I’m getting us out of here.”
She nods and I speed out of the building, across the courtyard and don’t stop until I reach the bunker.
Paul greets us in the garage with Sylvie, who fights off John to get to me. A shot rings out and the world stops when I face Fiona, a vicious snarl on her face as she points a gun at my sister. John roars as Sylvie slumps in his arms, blood gushing from her chest.
Fiona grins at me as alarms blare a warning and the entrance to the garage explodes. “Thanks for the help,” she says as she sprints towards the line of Infinitum super soldiers infiltrating my home.
I cry out as black water slams me in the face and I tumble like I’m in a washing machine. I suck in a lung full of air, screaming in rage once I get my voice working.
Dr. Chen grins at me. Goon Number One still stands at parade rest while I’m pressed against the wall by an invisible force. It was all fake. Even my awareness of the simulation. Fuck .
I glare at Dr. Chen, who flashes a rare smile. “No more jokes now?”
He plucks the fully functioning disk from my temple. “Our improvements are quite effective.”
He nods at Goon Number One, who follows him into the antechamber. I drop to the ground once the door closes and slump against the wall. My limbs feel like lead and I can’t move.
“I’m impressed, Agent Casper. Keep this up and you’ll snag that promotion in no time.”
“Thank you, sir.” Casper wipes the sweat from his brow and nods at Dr. Chen, but he hesitates, glancing at me before he leaves the room.
“Allowing our agents to control the simulations with AI assistance speeds up the process, as you’ve witnessed. Something about the connection between super soldiers. We’re discovering more every day now that my brilliant son is on the team.”
He beams with pride. I’m too tired for a comeback, though, so I close my eyes and lean against the wall. The door leading to the hallway from the antechamber slides open and closed before I give into the exhaustion.
“Clay?”
I open my eyes to find Liv and Charlie standing over me. The room is gone, and we’re in a void.
“Oh thank God,” Liv says, dropping to her knees and wrapping me up in a hug, but I can only find the energy to lean my head against her.
“We don’t have much time. Raven wants us to tell you we’re doing everything we can to get you out,” she says, taking my hand and squeezing. There’s a slight buzz to her touch, but the pressure is real enough.
“We haven’t been able to reach Paul. Have you seen him?” Charlie asks, kneeling on my other side.
“He was alive a few hours ago,” I croak, and Liv frowns, taking my face in her hands. She closes her eyes and relief floods through me, muting my emotions and my exhaustion. I almost break out into sobs.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
She smiles.
I turn to Charlie, clinging to him in desperation. “I can’t do this,” I whisper.
His face grows solemn, and he puts his hand behind my neck and presses his forehead to mine. “You’ve already done it and survived. You can do it again, Clay. Stay strong, brother. Remember what you’re fighting for.”
They fade from view like someone has their 3D image on a dimmer. “We’re coming for you! You’ve got this,” Charlie yells as they disappear, and I’m left alone in the void. I move to my side and bring my legs up into the fetal position, urging my memories of the stupid simulation to disappear, but all I can see is Fiona’s face as she gleefully murdered my sister.
It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not…
I jolt awake at a loud pounding on the antechamber window, sitting up from the hard ground with a groan to find Casper standing on the other side with a tray of food. He uses the air to secure me to the wall and enters my room, setting the steaming tray on the table.
“You could have at least tucked me in before you left,” I say.
He faces me, staring at me for a long moment. “You didn’t kill me,” he says.
I raise an eyebrow.
“In your simulation. You could have killed me, but you didn’t. Why?”
“I was in your shoes once…sort of. I know what it’s like to be manipulated and to have your choices taken away. You didn’t deserve to die because of that.”
“I read your file. They executed the men who attacked your mother.”
I drop my gaze.
“They were sloppy and almost got caught. One of them dropped their work badge, and the FBI came knocking on Insidatrex’s door. Your case is an example used in training for what not to do.”
“Did they tell you about the gang rape in training?” I ask, looking him in the eye.
He looks to the side. “No. They left that part out.”
“So Infinitum executed them for being fuck ups, not murdering rapists. And you see nothing wrong with that?”
He glances at the camera in the corner. “Infinitum has learned and grown from its mistakes.”
I close my eyes. “As fun as this is, I’m too tired to argue with brainwashed morons.”
He hesitates, then his boots tap on the concrete as he leaves. The door slides shut and when I open my eyes, I’m alone and unrestrained. I climb to my feet and move to the opposite wall, resting my hand on it. It’s smooth, but there has to be a current to make it function.
I close my eyes, pushing my power’s perception into the wall. All I need is a tiny spark… there . The wall becomes transparent, and I find Paul laying in the fetal position, facing me on the cold floor. His gaze is distant, and one I recognize all too well.
“Hey, Paul. Can you hear me?”
The muscle in his arm twitches. Infinitum never cared if we could hear each other. Before I ever met the real Paul, I heard his screams from across the hall from my former prison cell for over a year. He’d been imprisoned for over a decade at that point.
“Come on, big guy. I know you didn’t let these assholes get in your head.”
Life fills his eyes and they meet mine. “Jokes? Really?”
I shrug with a smile. “You’re welcome.”
He sits up, slowly dragging the chair over to the wall, and plops into it. The hard plastic creaks under his weight. We’re not stupid enough to talk about anything important, but his presence is a rare comfort in a place like this. Which means it won’t last. His gaze tells me he knows it, too.
“They made me kill you. Repeatedly. You?”
“Fiona killed my sister.”
He rubs his hand over his jaw. “So they want to turn me against you, and you against her.”
“I heard a little birdy during my nap.”
He perks up and I grin, but that’s all I can say.
“Did you reveal the bunker’s location?” he asks.
“No. At least, I don’t think so.”
“I’m sure Raven has moved everyone by now,” he says for our eavesdropper’s benefit.
“I’m sorry we’re back here.”
We’re both silent for a few minutes. “Can you do me a favor?” he asks.
“What’s up?”
“If you get out of here, but you can’t take me with you…please kill me.” His eyes are wide and he puts his big palm against the glass. “I can’t go through it again. I won’t. Think of it as payback for when I killed you.”
I put my palm over his. “We’re both getting out of here.”
He shakes his head with a soft smile. “Please. Promise me. You’re the only one who understands.”
“Things are different. You have a family to fight for. A family that’s going to keep fighting for you. Don’t give up on us.”
Fat tears drip down his face.
“Exactly. They’re going to use that. They did something to me. I feel…different. I’m terrified they regained control. Please. Promise me.”
My throat clogs. God, he’s right. Somehow, I force the words from my mouth. “Okay. I promise. If there’s no other option, I’ll do it.”
He sighs in relief and wipes the tears from his face. “Infinitum made a huge mistake in capturing you. You’re a force to be reckoned with, Clayton Fox.”
“My friends call me Firebolt.”
He huffs a laugh.
“Speaking of, we still don’t have a code name for you yet.”
“It’s never come up.”
“In that case, I dub thee Gargantuan.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Not fucking happening.”
“Oh come on. You–” The door to my antechamber opens, and the wall turns to frosted glass again. Casper enters, the look on his face odd, like he’s upset about something.
Dr. Chen appears, followed by a taller man who must be his son Andrew. My heart stops when Fiona follows behind him, her arm in a sling and a cut on her cheek. I rush to the window, my eyes feasting on her. She looks back, but it’s not the dramatic reuniting of lovers torn apart I was hoping for. She looks calm. Subdued, even. But the patterns coming off of her are nothing but pure terror.
And then Edgar Hamiltion himself waltzes into the room and I reach for my powers. I only find a tiny spark, but I hold on to it.
“A visit from the Commander himself? What an honor.” I infuse my voice with as much sarcasm as I can muster. “I’d offer you a drink, but I’m fresh out.”
Edgar smiles. “I’m impressed. I didn’t recognize you or your companion for what you are. Raven is getting smart. Unfortunately, your lack of discipline gave you away. You should have killed me when you had the chance. I assure you the opportunity will not come again.”
“You better hope it doesn’t. I won’t be making that mistake again,” I say.
“You’ve put us in quite the predicament, Clayton. Protocol demands we exert the full force of our mind control capabilities to turn you to our side, but in doing so, we could lose vital information. Such as the location of your leader and the rest of your rebel friends.”
“Sorry I couldn’t be more accommodating.”
“Your powers are…unique, and we don’t kill The Chosen.”
“Tell that to Grant Bennett. Oh, wait…you can’t.”
“Yes, well, those were different times. I’m in charge now. We maintain our precious resources, no matter how…” he looks me up and down, “spoiled they may be.”
I huff a laugh. “I’m taking that as a compliment.”
“Do you know this woman?” Edgar asks, and Dr. Chen pulls Fiona forward. She winces as he jostles her injured arm and looks up at me with unshed tears.
“Let’s not waste time with useless questions, Ed. Can I call you Ed?”
“Fiona, why don’t you tell him who your aunt is,” Edgar says. The sharp angles of fear spasm from her, slamming into my chest and I realize that I’m not the one in the hot seat. This little show is for Fiona’s benefit. They’re not restraining her. This is the part where they torture her to get to me, but that’s not what’s happening. She told me during our many chats in the bunker that she felt like she was always performing her life with Infinitum. Is that what she’s doing now?
“Candace was my aunt, but I called her Maria,” she says, her voice small. The flowers in her patterns don’t move. It’s true, but so is what she said back at the lake. Which makes sense, considering how batshit Candace was. Still, I killed her aunt. It’s a brand new form of guilt I haven’t experienced yet. I press my hand against the glass for support as my chest heaves.
“I suppose deceit runs in the family. Fiona has been an Infinitum operative for some time now. Looks like your weakness has led you right back to where you started,” Edgar gloats.
My weakness. Infinitum is the expert on exploiting people’s weaknesses. Is falling for the wrong woman, mine?
Edgar could be telling the truth. It would explain why they haven’t killed her. I step back, not stopping until I hit the far wall. Every moment of my time with Fiona plays back on a loop as I try to put the pieces together.
I opened up to Fiona, shared the deepest parts of my soul, even confessed the horrendous things I did under her aunt’s control. Fucking hell. When I imagined Infinitum doing their worst, I never pictured this. Will I ever be able to look at her without thinking about Candace? Have they already won?
Charlie’s voice from a random session pops into my head. ‘ Infinitum can only win if you let them.’ Raven has told me several times on this mission that he trusts my instincts. Maybe I should too.
Fiona’s lip trembles and she squeezes her eyes shut. Her patterns shift to what I saw in the lake, identical to my own. Only this time, my patterns reach for her, intertwining like they did the first time I made love to her. It’s the only form of comfort I can provide. Whatever she’s mired in, what we have is real. Her feelings for me are written out in the flowers I named her after. I yank my powers back before they can affect her and raise suspicion.
She gasps, falling into the window before Andrew scoops her up and takes her from the room. The antechamber door opens, and it’s just me and Casper. He puts the disk on my temple.
“Look for the lights,” he whispers.
I drag my gaze to his, and he nods, then I’m drowning in black water.