Chapter 28 #2
“I’m glad you saved yourself for me,” Elio said that ironically and jokingly and not at all sexually, yet my whole fucking face was now on fire, my mouth was open, and I was stunned silent.
By the stars, I was absolutely not thinking about being on top of him yesterday, when that had been a moment purely built out of violence.
Is this what ovulating feels like? Was I finally about to get my period? I was already going on nearly four months without it. I’d heard the horror stories of women being attracted to toxic men during certain phases of their cycle, and that must have been what was happening, because fuck no.
FUCK NO.
“I just lost my appetite,” I mumbled under my breath, and Elio chuckled from his side of the table.
“So, good chat. Glad we could coexist for,” I glanced at my CHRONO, “four full minutes. But I’m going to go throw this away in the bin, then throw up everything else I’ve had to endure today into a toilet.
Thanks. Can’t wait to train with you, roomie,” I added for peak sarcasm, before I stood from my bench seat.
“Whoa there, you can’t be done with lunch already.” Breaker’s voice was in my ear as a familiar, too-hard pat on the shoulder punctuated his arrival and forced me back into my seat. He sat down beside me, shattering my will to live. “Plus, I’ve got a present for you.”
Before I could literally cry, he slid a small white bottle over to me.
“What’s this?” I picked up the unmarked canister and inspected the contents. It was filled with small, nondescript white pills.
“Painkillers. Special delivery from a planet far, far away.” He offered a smile much less evil than Satan’s across the table. “Put those away before Seba gets here though.” He whispered at a volume I was sure Elio could hear.
“What?” I looked nervously between the two of them. Somehow I hadn’t anticipated that their presence meant I would also be eating lunch with Sebastian. Hiding things from everyone was par for the course for me though, so that I took less objection with.
Elio nodded. “I highly recommend listening to him.”
“Why would it matter if Sebastian saw this?” I glanced back and forth between them.
Breaker took a deep breath through his nose, just to sigh it back out.
“Now don’t get me wrong here, because I love the man dearly, but these aren’t legal in Mictlan, and now that you’re the one holding them, it’s only going to be bad for you if you get caught.
I won’t say anything, but Seba is required to as a Squadron Leader. ”
“Isn’t he also a squadron leader?” I motioned toward Elio, the one who had the least good intentions of us all. Though I still downed two pills right in front of him and shoved the canister into my pocket for later. Playing with fire was easy after getting hosed down by a flamethrower.
“Yeah, but he’s not a good one.” Breaker teased.
“I think we can all agree on that,” I added flatly. Elio just snorted and said nothing in his defense, shockingly self-aware of how awful he was. In some very perplexing way, I almost felt like I was falling into step with these guys, and I didn’t know what to think about that.
A few moments later, Sebastian took the spot beside Elio. He settled onto the bench, placed a napkin on his lap, then lifted his gaze just in time to lock eyes with my stare.
The way his whole body stiffened then he forced himself to relax before the reaction could be any more obvious came off like a trauma response. If I didn’t know any better, I might say I just saw Sebastian startle.
“Why are we sitting with him?” Sebastian’s words sounded accidental, like a thought he truly didn’t mean to say aloud. He cleared his throat. “I mean, good afternoon, Snow.”
For some reason, every time he used that nickname, it made me blush, and the fact that all three of these very different men had the effect on me in different ways was concerning. I would not be addressing that. Ever.
Lunch proceeded with constant ribbing and poking, until I’d somehow been assimilated in this odd combination of personalities, and as much as I should have felt like an outsider looking in on a tight friend group, it didn’t really come off that way at all.
It was strange to admit that it actually felt kind of nice.
Maybe it was a stretch to call this friendship, considering one third of the company had literally beaten me within an inch of my life yesterday, which I would not be forgiving any time soon.
Another third was my squad leader who was only here because he preferred to sit with said monster, but otherwise didn’t seem to have a very high opinion of me.
And the last third was, well, he hadn’t committed any offenses, actually.
Breaker was fine. But for better or for worse, this was the closest thing to being part of something that I’d ever been.
Vann was the only friend I had growing up, so I wasn’t entirely sure what friendship looked like to most people.
I used to isolate myself out of necessity, but also because I just never really fit in.
Who would have thought the one place I wasn’t supposed to ever be was the one place I actually belonged.
… Did I belong?
Even if they were talking to me, I was still so far below them in rank and experience.
Whenever Breaker started going on about some new mod he wanted to do to his Shinka, or Sebastian mentioned ways to improve after the other day’s live training drill, it only reminded me that I had a long way to go.
I needed to make rank. I was so close. Next evaluation, I’d give it everything I had.