CHAPTER 34
ELLEN
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Taking a deep, briny breath, Ellen allowed the wind to whisper against her skin, and a small tear rolled down her cheek. She absolutely picked the worst moment and spot to have that breakdown.
The evening was meant to be a celebration: the Australian project was going full speed ahead.
The National Bank of Australia—AtMedias' Australian project banking partner—had even chartered the largest yacht available in Sydney Harbour to host a cocktail party for the bank and AtMedias teams, as a way of thanking them for this important business opportunity.
This was one of those dreaded evenings for Ellen, where social obligation and networking felt like a chore.
She offered smiles when appropriate, listened carefully, and responded to inquiries with calculated tact and restraint.
After a long and endless conversation with the bank's CEO, Ellen needed a moment to refocus.
She located a secluded area on the second deck for some solitude. Her heart was in no state to celebrate.
The upcoming days promised to be challenging ones for Ellen.
Jess and Blake were scheduled to return to LA in two days to prepare for Blake's tour, and Taylor would also be returning to LA in about twelve days.
Her relationship with Leah had improved significantly since Jess's 30th birthday, and she missed her.
But where was she? Of course, in LA. Enough to cause her some serious FOMO.
She would end up alone, over 12,000 km away from the people who mattered most to her, in a country where she did not yet have any real friends around her.
And it wasn't for lack of trying. Except for Jamie, most of her colleagues weren't enthusiastic about socializing with their boss, despite her attempts.
She even joined a dating app specifically for making friends. Only that the experience ended with a bitter aftertaste for her. Her account was either constantly suspended for pretending to be Taylor Caldwell, or people were interested in learning more about her sister.
There had been potential with a few girls she had met, but they seemed to want more than friendship, and she didn't want that: she was still only into Roxanne. She was still there, always lingering in her thoughts.
It'd been six weeks since she saw Roxanne.
She didn't contact Ellen, just like she asked.
Six weeks of wishing Ellen had said something different.
Even though she tried to convince herself it was for the best, she couldn't deny she was still in love with Roxanne.
But facing it was something she was not yet ready for.
For a month, she'd been haunted by the words her father had spoken that evening at home: "Don't dismiss even the smallest possibility."
Should she have listened to Roxanne longer before ending the conversation?
Would she ever be able to get over her feelings for her?
Could she really doubt that what they had together was rare and real?
Could she believe her?
Should she call her?
Another tear quickly fell from her eye, but she quickly caught it. And then, someone spoke. "Um, sorry, but are you feeling alright?"
Startled, Ellen glanced to her left and noticed a young woman, probably in her early twenties, small with long black hair, wearing elegant clothes. There was no mistaking the genuine concern in her eyes.
"Uh, yes, thank you," Ellen stammered. "Just a rough night. You're from the bank?" A desire to engage with the girl came over Ellen, though she wasn't sure why.
"For another two months. I'm doing my practical legal training at the bank's legal department, in the team dedicated to the AtMedias project. I'll soon be a fully qualified solicitor," the girl responded, her face lit up with a smile. "I suppose you're part of the AtMedias team."
"That's one way to put it," Ellen responded, finding it amusing.
The girl was now observing Ellen, and the stare appeared to overpower her, and the girl realized it a moment too late. "Shit, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to."
"Don't worry, I am used to it."
"It's just… I just had this feeling like I'd seen you somewhere before."
Ellen smiled at her. "Two options," she said, holding out her hand. "Ellen Caldwell, Executive Director of AtMedias Australia, or you know who my twin sister is, Taylor Caldwell from SNARL."
Lani's face lit up. "Crikey… yes, of course. I'm such a fan of your sister. I was so bummed. I didn't have time to buy tickets for their show in November."
Jamie smirked as she approached, her eyes fixated on the girl, and Ellen couldn't help but smile to herself. "Of course you are. Everyone is." The girl's breath seemed to catch in her throat at the sight of Jamie.
Ellen broke the silence and turned to Jamie. "Can you contact Tay's assistant and ask her to send us two tickets for...?"
"Lani," the girl replied in a whisper.
Jamie grabbed her phone and opened a note, then handed it to Lani. "Sure, just enter your email address here, please."
The three women walked together toward the main bridge, where many people wanted to talk to Ellen. And just then, Ellen heard a voice behind her. "Ellen?" Out of a thousand voices, Ellen would have recognized the one that could drastically elevate her stress.
It was Charles Roberts. Of course. She hardly knew anyone in Sydney, but she had to run into one of those people who also happened to be Roxanne's ex.
He looked better than he had when she last saw him during her frantic search for Roxanne, which put her mind at ease.
He was standing next to a tall, elegant woman whom Ellen did not recognize from the game night.
She had brown hair cut in a bob. The black dress she was wearing was simple but impeccable.
"Charles," she uttered, taken aback. "This is… um… a surprise. I had no idea you were working on our project."
"I just got a promotion," he answered proudly, "I'm in charge of the financial team. It was an opportunity I couldn't refuse, and I was glad to have the chance to see you again." Ellen hadn't seen that coming. Not at all. "I'd like to introduce you to Kimberly, my girlfriend."
Kimberly held out her hand, giving her best smile. "Nice to meet you, Ellen. I've heard a lot of good things about you," she said in a pleasant, inscrutable tone.
"Oh, really?" Ellen looked at Charles, a little embarrassed, but he confirmed everything with a slight nod of his head. Ellen smiled as she said, "Well, it's a shared pleasure, Kimberly. I am happy for both of you."
Charles turned to Kimberly. "Could you give us a moment, please?"
Kimberly nodded. "It was a pleasure, Ellen. I sincerely hope we will have the opportunity to meet again." With that final line, Ellen understood the essence of the conversation to come.
As Kimberly walked away, Ellen quickly spoke up before it was too late.
"Look, Charles, I am glad to see you, but I'd prefer if we avoided discussing Roxanne.
" Charles blinked at the mention of "Roxanne," as if he wasn't accustomed to hearing it.
"I've had a tough time recently and am attempting to put it behind me. "
"I can certainly imagine, and I truly regret that you experienced that."
"What? No, come on. If anyone should apologize, it's me. Everything that happened is largely my fault. I should have apologized to you a long time ago."
"Totally agree. Meeting Kimberly was largely down to you, and it might just be the best thing that's happened to me in ages," he confessed.
"Please don't feel responsible. My split from Roxy had nothing to do with you.
There was no escaping it—it was bound to happen.
Honestly, I've had that feeling for a while. "
Charles's honesty left Ellen speechless. Despite her best efforts, Ellen flung the door open, her voice trembling as she asked, "Have you heard from her?"
"Yes," he simply said. "She has lived at home in our guest room since she came back from... well... you know where." Charles lowered his voice, knowing full well that neither he nor Ellen should have known about this. "But I'm worried about her. Things aren't going great for her."
"Yeah, no shit," Ellen gasped and instantly regretted her hasty words. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."
"That's okay, I understand. I don't know what I would do in your position," he reassured her. "Do you want me to…?"
Ellen promptly nodded, eager to know more.
"She stays in her room most of the time, as if she's waiting for something... or rather, as if she's waiting for you. She just shut down, barely saying a word or eating anything. She's on extended leave from work." He paused before continuing, "And she went out with someone a few weeks ago."
Ellen's heart stopped beating for a second as she imagined Roxanne with another woman. She knew she had no right to claim Roxanne as her exclusive, but she couldn't help herself.
"She came back devastated." He looked her straight in the eye. "You wouldn't recognize her, Ellen," he continued. "She's just a shadow of her former self."
"I'm not even sure I ever knew her," Ellen whispered.
Charles offered Ellen a wistful smile, saying, “Ellen, the only certain things in my life are that Roxy has never been more authentic than when she was with you, and that she regrets ruining her chance at happiness with you.”
Ellen gulped. "It's not fair, Charles. She should have thought twice before playing with my feelings like that. Now she can't just come back and act like a victim. Either to you or to me."
Charles remained silent, giving Ellen the space to speak. She struggled not to give in. "Is she worse than that?"
"Yes, I won't lie to you about that. Perhaps you won't believe me, but she means too much to me."
Charles nodded.