Chapter 36B
ELLEN
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Ellen closed the door behind her and walked toward the sidewalk. She didn't want to turn around and look back.
What if Roxy was at the window and that gave her false hopes?
But Ellen couldn't help herself—she was hoping for something too. Roxy had convinced her of her apparent sincerity, and to call her Roxy again. If she had learned one thing from Jess's descent into hell, it was that you don't end up in a state like that unless it's serious.
So, she turned around, and through the thin curtain, Roxy stood with her hands pressed against her arms, as if to hold herself back. Her hollow, empty eyes met Ellen's gaze. Ellen didn't wave or smile at her. Instead, she just looked at her, letting her know she was seen and heard.
Henri was waiting for her with the car in front of Roxy's house. Without ceremony, Ellen got into the car and said only three words. "Indeed! Music, please." He merged into traffic without saying a word and quickly took Ellen to her sisters.
Before she knew it, Ellen found herself standing in front of the building's anonymous exterior door.
She took a deep breath and walked inside.
Taylor was sitting with her black binder open in front of her, strumming her guitar in search of a new melody.
Jess was sitting behind a drum kit, tapping delicately into the rhythm of the thoughts in her head.
They looked up in synch when they heard Ellen enter.
"Well, look who it is," Jess said when she saw Ellen. "My favourite sister, here to see me off before I head to LA."
Taylor's gaze snapped up from her computer, her eyes narrowing at Jess with an expression of pure offence. "Um, hello… Don't forget, I'm right here with you," she chimed in.
A smile spread across Jess's face as she winked at Ellen. "What brings you around? You seem lost in thought."
Ellen sighed as she said, "I ran into Charles yesterday. He said she was feeling down. It was heartbreaking."
Taylor tensed and looked at Jess. "What are you gonna do with that once you know it?"
Ellen took a seat on the free chair and massaged her temples. "Your question should really be, 'What have I already done?'"
Taylor's eyes widened. "No, you didn't?"
After what had just happened with Roxy, Ellen found herself smiling, much to her surprise. "I did," she finally said, "I just left her place."
"Okay, wow," Taylor said, voice sharper now. "This wasn't even a possibility on my weekly bingo card."
"Nah, nothing like that, but she did ask me out, and I said yes."
Jess sputtered, "Wait, you did what?"
Ellen looked at them both, firmly. "I agreed, but that doesn't mean I've forgiven Roxy."
"So… now it's 'Roxy' again? Twinie, are you sure you know what you're walking into?"
"I have never been so uncertain about anything as I am right now," Ellen said.
“But I can’t shake the feelings I have for her.
So, it's better to get to the heart of it all and see where it takes me.
I might be crazy, but I'm just so done with being mad and sad.
I have to finish this story, whatever happens. "
Jess gestured toward Taylor and told Ellen, "I don't even know how to describe this one if you think you're crazy."
"What the fuck, Jessie?" Taylor protested, the sound of Ellen's booming laughter filling the air, yet it was enough to make Taylor smile. "But truly, just give us your word that you'll leave if she lies to you again."
"I promise." Ellen felt much lighter since her visit to Roxy.
Jess put her hand on Ellen's arm before saying to her, "Then Tay and I support you at 100%. Ugh, it sucks I gotta go to LA again tomorrow. I wish I could be there for you, but I can't."
"Don't worry about that. I know you need to be with Blake to get ready for her tour," Ellen said with a big smile, which her sisters hadn't seen since February.
Taylor came over to Ellen and gave her a hug, which she wasn't expecting.
But Ellen didn't resist. Taylor's arms were strong and anchored, as they were back in the days when Ellen had night terrors as a child.
"I don't feel your anger inside me anymore, and it feels good," she said into her shoulder.
"I love you so much, Twinie. And you too, Jessie. "
Jess leaned against the console beside them. "I love you both."
Ellen was standing there, close to her sisters. She let her guard drop, but just a little. Enough to feel like she wasn't walking into this entirely unarmed.