Chapter Eleven
Cody
Cody narrowed his eyes. “You don’t need to know that.” He wasn’t about to implicate himself and others in a crime. Not even to TJ. What had happened was in the past where it should stay.
TJ moved closer, staring into Cody’s eyes. “How do you know?”
Knowing TJ the way Cody did, he decided to tell him something. “I went back,” Cody murmured. “Found the barn and returned. They had some other poor kid strung up like they had me. Only I was too late, and he had already died. Murdered.”
Cody would never erase those images from his mind, and he didn’t want to.
He still saw the body swinging gently, the men laughing, throwing objects at his body.
Emaciated like Cody had been, his pale skin littered with cuts and bruises and blood.
This boy had suffered, and Cody had been too late to help him.
He’d waited until they’d passed out and retrieved the body, held the boy in his arms. Younger than he’d been. Cody hadn’t even been certain the boy had been legal. More than likely another runaway as he had been.
Outside, he’d placed the boy in Jeremiah’s truck, Jed’s eldest, seen the shock and sadness on Jer’s face as he’d placed a blanket over the body. Taken the gas canister when Jer had handed it to him. “You need to go. You can’t be here.”
Jer had stared at him, then at the barn. “I’ll wait down the road.” He’d driven off, leaving Cody alone, and Cody had done what was needed.
“They won’t be hurting anyone again.”
TJ sucked in a breath and Cody waited for him to figure it out. TJ wasn’t stupid. He’d work his way through and know. “You could have walked away.”
“I did.”
“Before or after?”
And that was where Cody stopped. “I’m hungry. Want something to eat?”
TJ shot over to Cody and grabbed his arm. “Before or after?”
Cody shrugged him off, stared blankly at him. “It’s over now.” Smiling, Cody pulled the fridge door open. “I was thinking bacon.”
“You should have walked away. You should have called the police, and what happened to the body? Where is it?”
“He’s buried in his family plot by his family.”
“They know what happened to him?”
“They know what they needed to.” Cody slapped the packet of bacon on the counter.
“That’s all they needed to know.” TJ spun Cody back around and Cody stepped back, creating space between them.
He’d never seen TJ as angry as he was then, but he wasn’t afraid of him. “Stop looking at this as a sheriff.”
“I am a sheriff!” Anger clouded his features. “There is no other way for me to look at this. You, Cody, someone I thought I knew, killed those men instead of calling the police.”
“I never said I did. I said they won’t be hurting anyone again. I never said they were dead.”
“Don’t play those games with me,” TJ snapped. “I can read between the lines just fine, and I know exactly what you mean. How? Come on. Tell me how you did it! How did you cover up how the boy died? Was it the doc who helped? Fuck.” TJ ran his fingers through his hair. “This is a mess.”
“Stop.” Cody spoke the word quietly, but it was enough to cause TJ to look at him. “I did what had to be done. Let the rest of it go.”
“How can I? You’ve implicated yourself in murder!”
“Let me make this clear, TJ.” Cody stepped into TJ’s space, staring down at him.
“It is over. They are gone and will never hurt another boy again. Do you know how many boys had gone missing in the local area? Nine. Those nine wouldn’t have been the only victims. I was a runaway.
How many others do you think were lured to their deaths? What’s done is done. Let. It. Go.”
“You said you came back for me. If that’s true, then I want to know everything.”
“You said I’m too young for you, that we’re related. Now you’re using what I said against me to get information I’m not willing to give.”
TJ hissed. “That’s not—”
“That is exactly what you’re trying to do.
” Cody tilted his head. Well, TJ wanted to know, so be it.
Cody moved closer to TJ and TJ backed away, but Cody kept moving until TJ’s back hit the wall.
“You want to know the truth?” Cody whispered.
“Want to know how I went back? How I blocked up all the exits? How I poured gas all over the building? How I stood and watched it burn? How I did nothing when they screamed in pain and fear?” Cody backed off.
“Of course, I have no idea if any of that actually happened. I got the body and left. All I do know is they won’t be hurting anyone else again. ”
“Who the fuck are you?” TJ muttered.
“I told you I’m not that Cody anymore. The one who ran away. He is dead and I like who I am now.”
“Who you are is a murderer.” TJ shoved away from the wall and paced the kitchen. “Fuck.”
“Do you really think that?”
“Yes!” TJ shouted.
“Do you know what I didn’t tell you?”
“Go on. Try and make this better. I’m waiting.”
“I didn’t tell you about the two kids I saved.”
TJ stopped pacing. “What?”
“Two kids. Five and six. In a cage inside the barn. They’d already been hurt.
” Cody stared at TJ until he saw the horror of realization cross his face.
“I saved them. Took them to Doc, who helped find their parents. Took them home. Made sure they received all the treatment they needed.” Cody walked over to the window and leaned on the counter as he stared outside.
“This world isn’t an easy place to live in, and some bad things happen to good people.
Only now there are fewer bad people on it.
” Turning around, Cody leaned a hip on the counter.
“Hate me all you want, but I did what was right. I took the boy home to his family so they could say their goodbyes and I saved two kids. When you think about what I’ve told you, remember that. ”
TJ staggered over to a chair and dropped into it, head in his hands, then lifted it to stare at the wall. Cody watched TJ’s chest move with every breath he took and waited. He knew TJ would be working through everything he’d told him. “The kids. Do you know how they are?”
“They’re good. Recovering well. A good family and therapist and time have helped. I saved them two years ago now. I had to recover first before I was ready to face my past.”
“They were lucky you found them.”
Cody sat at the table opposite TJ. Reaching out, Cody placed his hand over TJ’s. “Please don’t think less of me.”
TJ’s eyes flickered to his, and he shook his head. “I’m trying to reconcile the Cody sitting here who’s told me what happened to the Cody who left. I don’t know you now.”
“No, you don’t. Like I said, that Cody died a long time ago. I like who I am now. I like the direction my life is going. I have plans to make a difference, to help others.”
“Counseling. Is that what you want to do?”
“It is. I think I could be good at it, as well. I want to make a difference, show others that they can overcome adversity.”
“I think you’d make a great therapist. Shit, Cody.” TJ turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. “You recovered and went back… I don’t know if I could do that.”
“Sometimes you have to face your past to overcome it.”
“Is that really why you returned to the barn?”
“Yes and no.”
TJ exhaled softly. “You know I can understand why you did it and don’t say you didn’t. The man in me agrees, but the sheriff…”
“Do you wish you didn’t know? I’d have had to tell you at some point. I plan to be naked with you. Can’t ignore the scars then.” TJ tugged his hand free, and Cody rolled his eyes. “What? No sleeping with the sexual assault survivor?”
“Fuck you.”
“One day. Maybe.” Cody grinned when TJ’s mouth fell open, then laughed when it snapped shut.
“That’s not what I fucking meant, and you know it.”
“Oh yes… No having sex with—” Cody made quotation marks with his fingers, “—the murderer.”
“You’re not fucking funny. I never said that—”
Cody slammed his hand on the table and stood, leaning over it, and put his face right in TJ’s. “Get over it. My past is that. Past. I survived and moved on. I grew up. I got an education. Learned new skills. I am a man standing in front of you and I want you to treat me as one.”
“Then I need to take you in.”
“Go on. Do it.” Cody straightened, and they both stared at each other. When TJ broke eye contact, Cody sighed. “I’m going to have a shower. I need it after talking about the past. TJ.” When TJ looked at him, Cody murmured, “Please don’t think bad of me. I couldn’t take it if you did.”
“I could never think like that about you. I need some time to go over what you’ve told me.”
Cody nodded and left the room. In his bedroom, he sat on the edge of the bed, his hands dangling between his legs. Maybe he had said too much, but he didn’t want their relationship to begin with him hiding his past or parts of it.
Stripping, Cody washed his body and hair, then stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, Cody tried to remember what he’d looked like.
How skinny he’d been. He’d preferred the drugs and booze over eating.
He’d been skinny when he’d run away, but by the time he’d found himself in the barn, he’d been skin and bone.
Not far from death. His body had done everything it could to keep him alive, and Cody had abused it to the point it barely functioned.
He couldn’t fight off colds, scratches took forever to heal, slight knocks led to huge bruises.
The way he looked at it now, the barn and what happened inside saved his life.
If some weird twist of fate had him being there, the events that occurred had made Cody realize he wanted to live.
When Mama and Jed gave him a second chance, he’d taken it.
Not that every day had been easy. Some days he wanted to crawl away, hide from the gnawing hunger that ate away at him.
The need for drugs or alcohol pushing him to act irrationally, but Mama and Jed had helped him through.
Those three years with them had shown Cody how a family should be.
What it meant to have those bonds of love and respect, knowing you could rely on the other to be there when you needed them.
When Cody had needed Cass, he’d booked a place in a camp instead.
Even now, over four years later, that hurt, and it had cut the final bond between them.
Cody would never look at Cass and see his dad.
That man was Jed now and always would be.
As for his sister, he barely knew her. They hadn’t done much together when Cody was younger. She’d been doing her dance and gym classes, and music lessons, and whatever else Emily had her participating in. They might have said something to each other in the mornings, but that was it.
One day soon, Cody would have to speak to them. A day he didn’t relish, but he would do it. He would show Cass who he had become without his interference. One day he would stand in front of him, strong and proud and not afraid to be seen as gay.
But not today.
Leaving the bathroom, Cody made sure to secure the towel and was walking to his room when TJ appeared at the top of the stairs. TJ’s eyes widened and Cody paused, letting him look at his body. One he’d built from the ruins of his old one. Strong, powerful, muscular.
“TJ.” TJ’s eyes moved over Cody’s body and Cody stepped closer, so close he could lean in and breathe in TJ’s scent. “TJ,” he murmured before kissing him.