Chapter Thirteen
Cody
Cody stood frozen as TJ ran down the stairs and, from the sound of it, out of the house. The front door slammed shut, then less than a minute later, the truck started and drove away. Staring down at his now wilting dick, Cody shook his head and went to his bedroom to dress.
When he finished, his concern for TJ and the way he left got to him, so he picked up his phone to call. “Hello?”
“TJ. You need to come back so we can talk.”
“No can do!”
Cody checked the caller ID on the phone because it sounded nothing like TJ at all. “That sounded so… preppy. Come home. We need to talk.”
“I have to go to work.” TJ hung up and Cody sighed before dropping his phone on the bed. “I should cook him a nice meal, then woo him into bed.” First, he had to complete a few online forms for college, then he would go shopping. He needed a few more items for what he had planned.
Once he’d finished the forms and emailed them back, Cody checked the time, then called TJ. He wasn’t certain the other man would answer after the way he’d ended the call earlier but was surprised to hear him say, “Hey.”
“I need to grab a few things from the grocery store. Do you want me to pick anything up?” When TJ didn’t respond, Cody said, “TJ?”
“No, I think I have everything.”
“Okay. I’ll see you when you get home.” Hanging up, he pursed his lips.
TJ sounded hesitant, unsure, and Cody didn’t like hearing him that way, but he wanted something from TJ, something long-lasting, and he was determined to get it.
He knew TJ would have concerns, had anticipated them.
He would lie awake at night, making a list of all the reasons TJ would attempt to turn them down.
At the end of the day, TJ had to accept he wasn’t a child and could make his own decisions.
Grabbing his coat and wallet, Cody left their home and walked into town. Yes, their home because he lived there, and he had no plans to move anywhere else. He hadn’t lied when he’d told TJ he’d come back for him. He may have mentioned it more than once, but TJ had a block where Cody was concerned.
Understandable, but Cody had plans to move past those blocks by using whatever he could. He hadn’t survived hell to not succeed with the one person who had helped him pull through, even if TJ didn’t know about it.
So, sex. He was going to use sex. Good plan and one they would both enjoy as well. And TJ would be the first person he’d be intimate with after everything he’d been through. When Cody had recovered, he’d made the decision to wait until he was ready and with TJ.
At no point had he ever thought he didn’t have a chance with TJ, not after he’d gotten his life back together. Before that he hadn’t cared about anyone or anything, and with time Cody had come to accept that he’d done everything he could to destroy himself and his life, and he’d almost succeeded.
Life at home had been abysmal. Cass and Emily barely tolerated him, and it had worsened when he’d told them he thought he might be gay. That night with that man. A mistake he’d made in some stupid attempt to prove he wasn’t what he was. All it had done was solidify the fact he was gay.
The drinking and drugs followed, sleeping around, not caring about how he looked or when he ate. Growing his hair and dying it ridiculous colors. Some would say it was a foolish teenage rebellion, but Cody knew the truth. He hated what he was and the family he’d been born into.
Almost dying changed that. Working on himself had changed that.
He’d worked hard to be the man he was, and he liked that man.
Liked the man he was still becoming, because he was a work in progress.
He only needed to make TJ see he wasn’t that kid anymore.
Cody knew TJ struggled. That had been evident when TJ had practically run out of the house.
Four years had passed though, and Cody had changed everything about himself.
Seeing the grocery store ahead, he sped up, and as he entered, grabbed a basket.
They only needed a few items and once he had them, he paid and left.
That was when he noticed Toni struggling to put her shopping away, her blonde hair pulled back from her face.
Her prominent belly made it a little awkward, and Cody watched while deciding what to do.
If he went to help, then she would know he had returned and would tell Carter, and Carter would tell Cass…
Shaking his head, Cody jogged over and picked up one of the bags, placing it in the trunk. “Let me help.”
“Oh, thanks. You didn’t need to do…” Cody saw Toni’s hazel eyes widen, saw her head shake slightly, her hand reached to touch him, then pulled back. “Cody?” A soft whisper. “Is that really you?”
“Hey Toni. How’re the kids?”
“How are the kids?” Toni dropped her bag and hauled Cody close, hugging him tightly.
“Oh Cody. I’ve been so worried. So scared something had happened to you and I’d never see you again.
” She leaned back and palmed his face, her eyes taking him in.
“You’ve grown so much. Look at how tall and big you are!
Where have you been? Are you back for good? Shit! I have to call Carter and—”
“Toni. Stop.” Toni stared at him, open-mouthed. “Why don’t we go and have a drink? We can talk there, and Toni? I don’t want Cass to know I’m back.”
“Why not? He’s your dad? He’s been—”
“He’s the reason I left. Well, the main reason. Let’s get your shopping in the car, then we can go somewhere, yeah? I can tell you some things.”
“Cody,” Toni murmured. “Were you okay?”
Cody glanced around, then looked back at Toni. “It’s not something I want to discuss in the parking lot.”
Toni moved back and laughed quietly. “God no. Not the place at all. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You weren’t expecting me to appear like this.”
Toni touched his cheek again, a look of wonder on her face. “Wow, Cody. You’re so different. I can’t get over it. Are you really here? Are you going to stay?”
Cody chose not to answer if he would be staying or not. That depended on how things went with TJ, and he was going to win TJ over, no matter what. So fuck it. He was staying. “I’m staying and I’ve been gone four years. I’ve grown up some.”
“Some.” Toni’s eyes looked him up and down. “What are you? Over six feet?”
“Let’s grab a coffee and some cake. Somewhere that’ll be quiet now. Only a couple of people know I’m back, and I want to keep it that way for now.”
“Where are you staying?” Toni carried on loading the car with Cody’s help. “You don’t want to talk to Cass, so…”
“TJ’s. He’s letting me stay with him.”
“Hmm.” Toni looked at him again. “There’s a small tea place not far from here. I go because I can’t have too much caffeine, but they do lovely coffee too.” She looked around the parking lot. “Where’s your car parked?”
“I don’t have one yet. It’s on the list.”
“Hop in and I’ll drive us, then.”
Cody made sure Toni got in, which earned him a sigh and a ‘I’m capable of getting in the car’ then sat in the passenger seat as she drove to the tea place she’d mentioned. “It seems different, but still the same.”
“Robinson?” Toni glanced at Cody, then back to the road. “I guess it when you’ve been away for a few years. Where were you?”
“On a ranch not far from here. They took me in, helped me sort my life out. They saved me.” Literally, but they could talk about that once they had a drink.
“They saved you.” The words were quiet, but Cody knew Toni would be asking him about them later. “A nice family?”
“The best. Mama and Jed helped me get back on my feet. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them.”
“Cody. What happened?” Toni pulled into a small parking lot next to a place called Tea for Two? and Cody got out, waiting until she joined him. “I fancy some ginger tea. It’s helped with the morning sickness that hasn’t left.”
“You’ve been ill?”
“Awful, but I finally feel like I’m over the worst of it. Poor Carter and the boys have been so worried. TJ has been a huge help, but with the station being short staffed and all the extra hours he’s been working, he’s running on fumes.”
Opening the door, Cody let Toni inside and inhaled the fruity aromas. Walking up to the counter, Cody saw the shelves filled with teas from around the world. Herbal ones and fruit ones and ones he couldn’t pronounce the names of. Even the coffee came in multiple flavors.
“Toni. Usual?”
“Please and some toast, please.”
“And who’s this?”
“A friend from out of town. Cody. This is Sherri.” Toni glanced at Cody, then smiled at Sherri, who had short spiky blonde hair and dark brown eyes. “Last time I saw him, he was about a foot shorter.”
“I was what, fifteen, sixteen then? Hey Sherri. Could I have the caramel latte? Or is that a ginger one?”
“We have a lot of different ones and we’re always adding more. Do you want some cake or a pastry to go with it?”
Cody stood in front of the display and patted his stomach. “I think the chocolate brownie. I’ll have to add some extra sit-ups to work it off.”
Sherri looked him up and down, licked her lips, and smiled widely. “I don’t think you need to, honey.”
“My boyfriend tells me the same thing.” He saw the smile fall from Sherri’s face. “One piece of the chocolate brownie, please.” Toni touched his arm and Cody nodded to a table in the corner. “Go and sit down. I’ll bring these over.”
Toni sighed and walked over to the table. Once she’d sat, Cody waited for the drinks and food, paid and carried them over to Toni. Toni sighed as she took her first sip, then rubbed her stomach. “I can’t wait for this to be over.”
“I’m so glad I’m a man.”
Putting her cup down, Toni asked, “What happened? Why did you leave like that?”
Cody sat back in his chair and stared outside, watching the traffic go past the window. “What has Cass said?”
“Cass? Nothing other than trying to find out where you’d gone. We were frantic, calling everywhere, asking anyone we could think of. We were so scared something had happened to you and we couldn’t help you.”
“You know about my night out? The bar and what happened after?”
Toni inhaled and nodded. “Yeah, I know.” She gave him a stern look, then shook her head. “Stupid thing to do, but you learn from your mistakes.”
“Or you crash and burn.”
“Jesus, Cody.” Toni blinked and Cody could see a sheen of tears. “Is that why you changed? You were such a sweet kid, but quiet too, then after that…”
“I thought it would make me not gay, but when you’re gay, that isn’t going to happen. My plan to erase being gay failed, and I went off the deep end. You were there. You saw what I did.”
“And I saw Cass trying to help you. What did he do that made you leave? What was so bad—”
“Conversion camp.” Toni snapped her mouth shut. “Yeah. I didn’t take it well. Ran off. TJ let me stay at his place, but I was past saving by then. He told you what I did?”
“Stealing from him?” Cody grimaced. “Oh yeah. He was pissed about that in between spending sleepless nights searching for you. We all searched for you. I was so fucking scared, Cody.” Toni blinked, a tear falling down her face.
“I called everyone I could think of. On the internet searching for hospitals and police and anyone I could think of who might be able to help us find you. I had to help Cass because Cassie was a mess, and Emily wasn’t doing much.
I had the boys, and just had the baby, and you’d gone. ”
“I’m sorry.” Cody’s lip trembled and he bit it. Hard. “I didn’t think how this would affect you. I just had to get away.”
“And where did you go? Where was better than here?”
“I found a place. Fell in with the homeless, the drug users.” Cody breathed deeply. “I did so much damage to myself. I didn’t care if I lived or died, until I almost did die.”
“Cody, no.” Toni took Cody’s hand in her own. “It couldn’t have gotten that bad.”
“Worse, but I survived. Maybe one day I’ll tell you about it. Then you can hit me for being so stupid.”
“God, I love you, you stupid boy.”
Cody laughed. “I love you too.”
Toni wiped a tear from Cody’s face, then stroked his cheek. Leaning back in her chair, she watched Cody, then murmured, “TJ.”
“TJ.”
“Does he know?”
Cody tilted his head. “Do you?”
“I’m not blind, unlike some in your family. I saw the looks you gave him. He, of course, was oblivious. Typical man.” Toni grinned. “You’re staying with him.”
“I am. Does it bother you? I’m younger than him and we’re family through marriage.”
“I don’t know. You’ve just returned home, so I think we need to give it some time. And you will at some point have to speak to your parents. I know they won’t take it well if you do… chase TJ.” Toni suddenly grinned. “I can’t wait to see how he takes it.”
Cody snorted. “Not well. He ran out this morning.”
Toni’s eyes went wide, then she burst out laughing. “What did you do?”
“TJ is your ex. You sure you want to be talking about him with me?” Cody smiled and watched Toni nod her head. “Really?” Leaning on the table, he whispered, “Once I figured everything out in my life, I came back for him.”
“You did?” Toni hummed, glanced outside, then back at Cody.
“I love TJ. Not the way we did when we first got married and for a while I wasn’t sure if I could even like him, but that lasted a couple of weeks, if that.
I know TJ. I know how hard it would have been for him to sit me down and tell me how he felt.
He would never intentionally hurt anyone.
He isn’t like that. He always puts others before himself.
Look how he set up my blind date with Carter.
He wanted me to be happy and loved, and he found someone who would do that.
TJ is special, but he doesn’t see himself that way.
He puts me and Carter and the boys before himself.
Even Macy, who isn’t his. He treats her the same way he treats Arthur and Lincoln, and Macy adores him. ”
“I’ve seen her bedroom. The unicorns scared me.”
Toni laughed and nodded. “The boys want another sister, but she wants a baby unicorn.”
“That would be interesting.”
Toni grinned, then gripped Cody’s hand between hers. “I’m so glad you’ve come home. I’ve missed you. If you need someone in your corner, I’m in. Now tell me about this ranch.”
Cody squeezed Toni’s hand and told her all about Mama and Jed.