Chapter Twenty-One
Cody
After leaving therapy, Cody slowly walked toward town.
Another good session with Darcy, but going over the past, revisiting those wounds, even if they had healed, left Cody with some lingering pain.
He’d become used to it. The sessions ultimately helped, and so he continued with them.
Walking into the main part of town, Cody noticed Cassie ahead of him.
He slowed, unsure if they should speak, but the decision wasn’t his to make. Cassie saw him and smiled. A huge grin lit up her face, and she ran over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. Cody instinctively hugged her back, and she laughed, squeezing him tight.
“Cody! I’m so glad you’re back.” She leaned back and kissed his cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“We barely spoke.”
Cassie rolled her eyes and looped her arm through Cody’s. “You lived there. Do as they say or else? Emily is on my ass twenty-four-seven and don’t get me talking about Cass. God, I hate him. Why did Emily have to shack up with him? I have half his DNA!”
Cody stared down at Cassie and now knew how TJ had felt when Cody reappeared in his life, looking very different from how he’d left. He remembered Cassie as this small girl who did everything Emily wanted, and now she was like this? He needed to apologize to TJ when he saw him later.
“Okay. You were a mini Emily when I left and you rarely, if ever, spoke to me. How did you miss me so much?” Cassie tugged on his arm and steered him toward one of the busier coffee shops. Cody slowed, muttering, “people don’t know I’m back.”
“Then they should, and I did miss you, but Emily told me not to talk to you because of your predilections. Like being gay is something you choose and prefer. Though maybe you do, ‘cause I guess vaginas are out for you.”
Cody would buy the best steak and cook it for TJ. Naked. He would do it naked. “That would be right.”
Cassie grinned and leaned closer. “I dated a girl over summer. They don’t know about it. Pussy is good.” She waggled her eyebrows. “I’m seeing some boy from school, but it ain’t happening. Maybe I’m gay like you.”
Cody needed to get on whatever she was on because what the ever-loving fuck was happening? “That’s good?”
She laughed and walked inside The Daily Grind, smiling at some girl behind the counter, then in a loud voice that Cody was certain could be heard in the next state, proclaimed, “This is Cody. My brother. He’s back!”
Cody ducked his head and breathed deeply, then lifted it and smiled at the stunned faces staring at him.
And he knew some of them, too. Great. Awesome.
Fanfuckingtastic. “Hi.” Facing the girl behind the counter who stared at him open-mouthed, he sighed.
“Get whatever Cassie wants and I’ll have a filter. ”
“Henny! You have any of that cake in?”
“Orange cheesecake?” Henny’s eyes softened when she looked at Cassie and Cody wondered if she was the girl from summer.
“Yeah. You got some?”
“We do and er Cody? What about you?” Henny’s wide green eyes flickered to his, then back to Cassie.
“I’ll just take a coffee. The largest you have.” Cassie disappeared, leaving Cody alone at the counter and he shook his head at the changes in his sister. He didn’t know this version of her at all. Steak. He would cook steak tonight. Maybe chocolate cake too. TJ liked that.
“You’re Cody.”
“The one and only.”
Henny smiled. “She talks about you all the time.”
She did? “She does?”
“You’re her big brother who left and never came back. Until now. She’s so happy you’re back.”
“At least one of them is,” Cody muttered.
“We can’t pick our families.” Henny grimaced and placed a tray with Cassie’s cake on it.
“No, we can’t, and we can’t pick who we like either.”
Cody let Henny finish making their drinks, then took the tray over to the table where Cassie sat. He nodded to a few people who murmured his name, then sat opposite her and stared. Cassie shrugged and took her drink and cheesecake.
“Where did you stay?”
So they were doing it there in the middle of a shop where lots of people would listen and no doubt tell everyone he had returned. Cody actually liked that. Saved him having to do it. “I bummed about for a year or so, then lived on a ranch for three more years.”
“You did? What was it like? Better than living with them, right?”
“Does everyone know you don’t like Cass and Emily?”
“It’s like one of those open secrets no one talks about.” She shrugged and ate some cheesecake, moaning far too loud for Cody’s liking. “This is so good. You should try yours.”
“They fucked up with both their kids.” Cody shook his head and leaned back in his chair, staring out of the window.
“Some people just shouldn’t have kids, but we’re here, so fuck ‘em.” Cody blinked. “What did you do on the ranch?”
“Recovered.”
Cassie frowned. “Huh?”
Looking back at Cassie, he said, “I wasn’t in a good place when I left here, and I went downhill after I left.”
“You left because of them. We all know it.”
“I left because I’m gay and Cass wanted to send me to one of those places where they convince you you’re not. I refused, so I left. The next year of my life was fucked up and then Mama and Jed found me, and I stayed with them.”
“But you look fine to me.” Cassie’s eyes moved over Cody.
“I am now, but I wasn’t when they found me, and that part of my past isn’t a conversation to be having here. Come over to TJ’s sometime, but not tonight. I have plans for him.”
Cassie gasped. “You and TJ? You were so into him when you were at their house.”
“I was and still am. I came back for him, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about it.” Cody looked around the shop, noticing several heads lower.
“But he’s like ancient.”
“TJ is and always has been the one for me. I came back for him and if people have an issue, then they can get fucked.”
Cassie giggled, then grinned. “Yes, they can. We’re free to love whoever we want, and the world can kiss our asses.”
“You’re more like me than you are them.” Cass and Emily had done a great job raising their children. Neither of them liked their parents.
“I saw what they did to you. I might not have been able to say anything then, but I can now.”
“You’re still a minor.”
Cassie grinned. “So were you when you left.”
“And look where that got me.”
“Freedom!” she giggled and sipped her soda.
Cody leaned on the table and beckoned her closer. She moved closer, a smile on her face. “It got me dying in a field.”
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. “But… look at you.”
“Now, Cassie. You see me now. You wouldn’t have recognized me back then.
I barely recognize me from back then and I lived it.
Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Do what you need to do to finish high school, then you can leave.
I only graduated last year, but I did it.
Don’t fuck it up because of them. You’ll regret it. ”
“Cody…” Cassie shook her head, her long dark hair swinging around her shoulders. “What happened?”
“I’m not sure you’re old enough to know, but come to TJ’s and we can talk.” Cody fiddled with his cup, then asked, “Can you manage at their house?”
“As long as I play the part, then yeah, I can. I’m counting down the days until I can leave, because as soon as I can, I’m out of there.
I’m sick and tired of their control. ‘Cassandra, do this. Cassandra, do that. You can’t be a Paarman and behave like that.
’” She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.
“The Paarman speech. I don’t miss that.”
“‘Remember who you are, Cassandra Paarman. Remember what we have given you.’”
“Oohh, they rolled that one out on you, too. I thought you were the one they preferred. I always thought I was the one they regretted.”
“I think they only had kids to carry on the name. They don’t care about us at all.”
“Do you still do the gymnastics and dancing?”
“Nope. Faked an injury.” Cassie grinned. “You have no idea what I had to do to get the doc to tell Emily that, but it was worth it.”
“What?” Cody could hear the growl in his voice.
“Nothing like that! I’m only fifteen… oops. Wasn’t that…yeah, er, this cheesecake is really nice.”
Cody snorted. “Yeah, I was fifteen when I snuck into the bar and left with some guy. I didn’t want to be gay, but I am, and look where that decision got me.”
“I didn’t know it was that bad,” Cassie murmured. “I thought you were playing it up because you hated them like I did.”
“I’ve come to accept I will always be a disappointment to Cass, and I don’t care. I like who I am and I’m proud of who I’ve become. I came back here for one person, but I’m glad we had the chance to talk.”
Cassie stared wide-eyed at him and bit her bottom lip. “Will you be leaving? I don’t want to lose you again.”
“I have no plans to go now. I’m finally getting somewhere with him.” Cody checked his phone and stood. “I have to go. Want me to walk you to the bus, or are you getting picked up?”
“Emily will come and get me. Can’t have her precious daughter on public transport.”
Snorting, Cody muttered, “Of course not.”
They left the shop and Cody hugged Cassie, then walked away but stood some distance back to make sure she was collected.
Once she had gone, Cody walked home and had a shower.
At some point, TJ returned and joined him in the shower.
Cody didn’t say much, but he showed his emotions through his actions, kissing TJ and making him gasp and moan.
When they tumbled into bed, Cody slipped inside, still kissing and touching TJ, still making him cry out in pleasure. Watching TJ come always punched Cody in the chest that he finally had his man. That he hadn’t been too late.
Later, when they’d relaxed and Cody had his head on TJ's chest, TJ murmured, “How was your day?”
“I met Cassie after therapy. We had a drink in some coffee shop on Main. People know about us.” He felt TJ stiffen beneath him and lifted his head. “Too soon?”
TJ’s chest deflated. “I knew it would come out. I’m not looking forward to the comments.”
“Get Toni onto them. Most will shut up then.” Cody lay his head back on TJ’s chest and ran his fingers over the skin. “She isn’t happy there.”
“Cassie?” Cody nodded. “She plays the part well, but I’ve seen the looks she’s given them.”
“She said it’s an open secret and everyone knows.”
TJ chuckled, jostling Cody’s head. “I guess it is, but I don’t think they will ever listen to her.”
“Then they lose two kids instead of one.”
“Will it be difficult for you to live in Robinson with Cass and Emily?”
“No, because I have you.”
“I wish I could have been as certain about what I wanted at your age, but I didn’t go through what you did. I’m glad you came home.”
“My home is with you.” Cody kissed TJ’s chest. “It’s the only place I’ve ever wanted to be.
As soon as I met you, you felt like home.
You smiled, and I knew. It made me question everything about who I was.
I’d been raised to be some straight conservative kid and then you walked in the house, and I wanted to spend time alone with you. You are my constant.”
“You say these things and I don’t know how to react.”
“Then don’t. I don’t want empty words. I only want you. You have no idea how happy I am to be here with you now. Just accept it, TJ.”
TJ held him tight, then kissed his head. “I’m glad you came home.”