Chapter 8 Cam #2
Fine, I might’ve thought it was hot and that I would totally melt and die if he ever crafted something for me, but that was the kind of thought that stayed in the fantasy realm where it belonged, and we didn’t talk about it.
Now, though, he had rolled up his sleeve, and he had turned it around, so I could see the… Ooooh.
“Is that—”
Not only kinksters used a triskelion to flag what they were into.
Ask me how I knew. Besides, my throat was still parched dry, and my chest hurt from how fast my heart was going, and I really, really didn’t want to deal with the disappointment—or the hope—that would come from making any assumptions.
It had the three dots that the regular Celtic triskelions didn’t have, though.
“Yes.” Saúl cleared his throat.
Was it embarrassment lacing his voice now? It didn’t make sense. He wasn’t the one who had all but flashed his boss.
Besides, even if he was kinky… Well, that would explain why he knew what ABDL stood for—Adult Baby Diaper Lover—but not everyone who was kinky was into age play, and they definitely weren’t all into diapers.
Hell, not even all Daddies were into it.
There was a lot of discourse around it everywhere, which was exhausting, mind you, but it was also a whole other conversation, and I just wanted to crawl up and disappear, not rehearse dozens of Tumblr posts in my head.
“I can still be out of your hair in an hour,” I resolved.
Things hurt less when I just powered through.
“I mean, I just have one suitcase, so I’ll finish stuffing everything into it, and then I’ll walk to…
Actually, can I take one of the trucks to the back gate?
I think I can still remember the way to the bus stop, and I have more than enough money, so I’ll be okay, and you don’t have to worry—”
“Cam.”
I huffed.
He was going to use up my name at this rate.
I kept my eyes trained on the floor regardless. Maybe it was for the best that this was coming to an end. There was dust on the floor, while the rest of the house was spotless.
I wasn’t a good roommate.
Saúl deserved someone who could pick up the slack and care for house rules and shit like that. Maybe if I packed up extra fast, I’d do some cleaning. The mirror had gotten a bit messy because I never learned how to use wipers, but there had to be products for it.
Right?
My eyes kept smarting with unshed tears. I wanted to rub at them, but I didn’t want to draw more attention to the fact.
“What?” I gritted out eventually because apparently standing still—mostly still; fidgeting couldn’t be helped—wasn’t enough of a prompt for Saúl to start talking.
“I’m not firing you,” he said slowly. “Unless you want to go because I violated your privacy, and if that’s the case, I’m really sorry, but you don’t need to leave. Everyone’s going to kill me if you do leave, actually, so… Stay?”
“Why?”
What was I asking? Why did he violate my privacy, as he said? Or why was everyone going to kill him? I had no idea.
Saúl smacked his lips together. He was the kind of person who was very loud about all his movements. Or maybe it had just been grilled into him because of his work with horses. I didn’t know.
There were clearly many things I didn’t know, and very little I could do about them.
Little.
Heh.
If I wasn’t under so much emotional turmoil, I’d roll my eyes. This was getting ridiculous.
“You’re the best vet we’ve had here in years. Surely you know everyone loves you.”
“They don’t.”
They shouldn’t. Kara definitely didn’t, and the people here… Well, they shouldn’t, either. It was a road that only led to disappointment.
“They do.”
I shook my head right away. I realized he couldn’t read my mind and say that I wasn’t so much refuting his claim as the rightness of it. Too bad I couldn’t just make him see.
“Why did you come in?”
“I texted you, and then I knocked, but you didn’t answer.
” I looked up this time, and Saúl looked sheepish as he ran a hand through his hair.
“The ranch hands have been on my case all day to get you to have a beer with them. If I made another excuse for you, they were going to kill me, and I’m a terrible liar. ”
That only sparked more questions. “Um. Why were you making excuses for me?”
Saúl sighed. “Because you’re anxious around them, especially when they get loud and in your space, and they’re only ten times worse at those two things when they have a few beers on them.”
Oh.
That was…
I didn’t know how I felt about it. It was thoughtful, but also…
I glanced away. “I can take care of myself.”
Despite what everyone else said and thought, and every time I’d proved the opposite either by myself or in front of others.
“Okay,” Saúl acquiesced easily. “What can I do to make you stay?”
I laughed. Hysterical laughter seemed to be the name of the game with me. Hey, this time it ended up in tears. I clearly had a repertoire.
“Just leave me alone.”
I hated being alone. I especially hated being alone when there were big emotions to sort through, and when I was feeling vulnerable and Little and not in the right headspace, but he wasn’t my Daddy, and I was still not getting over the shame that came with whatever had gone down in the past hour.
There was more cursing—this time I could tell for sure it was Spanish—but it was softer, and then the door shut behind him.
He hated me, didn’t he?
Well, not now. Now he’d feel guilty or whatever, but once everything cooled down, he would hate me. For the age play thing, or the diapers, or the ranch hands pestering him about my lack of social skills. Maybe even because I hadn’t let him stay to make shit better.
Not even my most secret fantasies could’ve guessed at how he would’ve managed that one, though, so it was for the better I’d cut it short.