Chapter 10
Jack
I’ve spent the last week asking myself why the hell, out of all the things I could have told Alondra at the rink, the first thing that came out of my mouth was my dad being in prison. I could have said anything else.
I could’ve said I hate ketchup and mayo by themselves, but mix them together? I’ll dip anything in it.
I had braces for four years as a teenager.
Sometimes when I’m walking around campus on my way to class or to the team’s study hall, I’ll put my earbuds in with no music playing so that people don’t talk to me.
Or I’ve never had a girlfriend because I don’t believe in love.
But I didn’t say any of that.
I willingly told Alondra the one thing I never tell people the truth about. My roommates know, but they’re family to me. I’m not actually sure what Ellie knows and what she doesn’t, and quite frankly, I don’t give a shit so I’ve never cared to ask. She’s been a good friend to me.
Fuck, the last thing I expected that morning when I walked into the barn was to see Alondra doing fucking jumps and skating with the biggest smile on her face. I had no idea she skated, let alone like that.
I’m trying not to see Coach B differently after what she told me, but it’s hard. I’ve looked up to him for years, even considering him to be the closest thing I have to a father figure. He might be a hard-ass most of the time, but I know he’s always had my best interests at heart.
Now? Every time he praises one of us or checks in to make sure I’m doing okay, I wonder if he does the same with Al.
It’s not my place at all, but I keep picturing the look on her face when she came to the rink two weeks ago to apologize.
She looked like she’d rather swallow a handful of nails instead of tell me their relationship sucks, but Al did it because she wanted me to believe her apology.
I tip my head back, keeping the soap out of my eyes while the water from the showerhead hits all the right spots on my sore muscles.
I forgot how sore my body is during the first few weeks, but we started our season going against some of the harder teams in our conference.
Nate’s doing his best to protect us out there, but he can’t protect both me and Coop at the same time, and other teams know it.
Fuck.
Why did I tell her about my dad?
Most of the guys have already cleared out of the locker room by the time I’m done rinsing off, since Coach wanted to talk to me after practice about my thoughts on the team so far this season. He wants this as badly as we do.
He hesitated before asking how tutoring was going, and I tried to be as vague as possible, knowing how his relationship with Alondra is, but he’s still my coach. There’s a fine line to walk here.
I feel like I’m fraying at the edges while I wait for our midterm to be graded, but I keep reminding myself that if I scored poorly, I can do test corrections.
At least Coach B didn’t ask me how she’s doing. I’m not sure what I would have said if he had.
After getting dressed, Alondra’s bag tucked on the top shelf of my stall taunts me.
She had me set it out a few days ago for her, and it took everything in me not to get here early to watch her not skate.
Al can deny it all she wants, but clearly she’s just as much of a junkie for ice time as the rest of us, but I’ve been trying to respect the boundary she set.
I’m pretty much failing at trying to get her out of my head, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Johnny asked about her after she left, but I shut it down fast by explaining Al’s my tutor, and he didn’t say anything else.
My dark sweater is warm, but I still pull my team jacket over it to keep out some of the chill on my walk to the library where I’m supposed to be meeting Al.
I should have borrowed Nate’s blow-dryer because the towel I used to dry my hair didn’t do much, but I’m already running late.
The last thing I want to do is piss Alondra off by making her think I don’t respect her time.
The wind is brutal today, and pretty soon I’ll have to start taking the underground tunnels between buildings when there’s too much snow to clear all the sidewalks, but it makes me feel claustrophobic.
I replay the voice memo she sent me yesterday, listening for where she said she’d be sitting before recording a quick one back to her. “Sorry, running late, but I should be there in a few. See you soon,” I say, picking up my pace as the wind bites at my face.
I’ve never been more happy to be at the library than when I step through the doors and make my way toward the second floor where Al said she’d be.
Something in my chest settles when I see her sitting at a table in the back with two coffees in front of her, and I slide into the chair opposite her.
“For me? You shouldn’t have,” I say, shrugging out of my jacket to wrap my hands around the warm cup.
“It’s just coffee, don’t make a big deal about it,” Alondra says, twisting a long dark curl around her finger, but her hazel eyes are twinkling today. Goddamn, sometimes it’s really hard to pretend she’s not beautiful. “How was practice?”
It catches me by surprise she’s asking about hockey, since any time I broach the topic of her coming to a game, Al can’t run in the other direction fast enough. “We had off-ice conditioning today,” I say, and she grimaces.
“Gross. I’ve started going to the gym in the mornings and my ass is paying for it,” Alondra says, taking a sip of her coffee.
She makes it too easy to flirt with her.
“You need some help with massaging it? I’ve been told my hands are pretty magical, darlin’.” I smirk at Al, and she rolls her eyes, tempting me to ask her if she wants them to get stuck in the back of her head.
“Dylan’s already volunteered, so yours aren’t needed,” she replies, tipping her pretty pink lips into a smile, and mine drops.
When did Dylan run into Al? Why didn’t he say anything?
“I wouldn’t let Dylan’s hands touch me with a ten-foot pole, but your loss,” I say, trying to let it roll off my back as I take a sip of my coffee.
It helps warm me from the inside out, especially when I taste the sweetness of the caramel and the notes of vanilla in it. She remembered my coffee order.
A laugh sputters from Al, and she crosses her arms over her chest. “You say it like you’re any better?” Alondra scolds, and I lean back in my chair.
“I’m happy to confirm I always wrap it before I tap it,” I say, but I know Dylan does too. His family is loaded, and his parents have told him on more than one occasion that they’re not ready for grandchildren. Regardless of how much he gets around, he’s careful.
Unfortunately for me, I’ve been getting pretty familiar with my hand. I haven’t been interested in anyone for a couple of weeks now, and my roommates haven’t failed to notice either.
“Good for you,” she says, but I don’t feel any better thinking about Dylan putting his hands all over Alondra’s ass.
“I’m just saying be careful.” I take another sip of my coffee, and Alondra rolls her eyes again. “You know if you keep doing that, they’re gonna get stuck in the back of your head,” I say, and she rolls them again to prove a point.
“Then stop saying stupid shit if you don’t want me to roll them,” she retorts, tapping her purple nails on the table, and my traitorous mind imagines what they would feel like clawing at my back and what they would look like wrapped around my cock. Shit, maybe I can’t just be friends with a girl.
“I didn’t say anything stupid. I told you to be careful if you’re going to mess around with Dylan,” I say, trying not to vomit as I do. I can be attracted to her and be her friend.
“It was stupid because I’m not going to mess around with Dylan. I said he offered to give me a massage which is literally no different from what you offered to do. So can we agree what you said was stupid, or do I need to roll my eyes again?” Alondra asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
“It is different,” I say, but I honestly don’t know how it is.
“Shut up and drink your bougie coffee.”
My jaw falls open because Alondra never ceases to surprise me. “You know, you’re kind of bossy.” I laugh under my breath, watching as Alondra plays with a curl.
“I think you like it, or maybe you’d stop picking fights with me,” Alondra says, and she’s not wrong. Fighting with Al feels like foreplay, but it’s wrong because it can’t happen. Fuck, it feels good, though.
I take a sip of my bougie coffee, looking around the large room. “So, what are we doing in the library? I thought campus was supposed to be closed today?” I ask, moving to a much safer topic because I’m honestly not sure I trust what I’m thinking to not come out of my mouth.
I’d bet if I were to go around and count, there’s only a handful of people in the building, including us.
“The library really never closes, but I think they have a skeleton crew today if anyone needs help. I like to come here for a change of scenery,” she says, and I tap the sides of my cup, setting it down to look back at Alondra.
Her pale cheeks flush a bright red, and she tucks some of her long curls behind her ear before closing her laptop most of the way.
“Sorry, I probably should have just asked you to meet me at the coffee shop or something. This was dumb,” she rambles, and sure, the library isn’t first on my list of places to go, but if it’s on hers, I’ll add it to mine.
“Al, I don’t care where we hang out. I’m sorry my schedule has been kind of crazy this past week, but I want to hear how yours went,” I say, losing the flirty swagger from before. “Are Macy and Charzard still broken up?” I ask, purposefully messing up his name to make Al laugh.