Chapter 11 Alondra
Alondra
“I’m sorry, you’re what?” Ellie asks, gaping at me from the beanbag she’s camped out on, while Macy refills our wine glasses in the kitchen.
“Finding Jack a girlfriend. Do you have any pictures of him you think I should add to his profile?” I ask through a fit of giggles at her reaction. The account I made for Jack is open on my phone, but I’m struggling to pick what pictures scream boyfriend material instead of fuckboy vibes.
Ellie grins as Macy walks back into the living room balancing the cheap wine in her hands. “I told her it was a bad idea, but she’s hell-bent on this plan.”
“Oh, he’s going to kill you, but I’m totally for this.” Ellie snorts, pulling her phone out.
“Jack said it was fine!”
Macy shakes her head, and I roll my eyes, regretting telling her about the conversation in the first place. “No, tell her exactly what he said.”
“Fine. It was more so along the lines of ‘Sure, whatever you want,’ but if he didn’t want me to do it, he should have told me no,” I argue, but I did consider the idea he didn’t think I’d actually do it.
Ellie sends me a few pictures, and we arrange them in a specific order, starting strong with a gold mine from his mom’s post on social media for his first day of school photo this year.
It highlights his dimples and makes him look more sweet than sexy, and I ignore the little flutter my heart does upon realizing he took the photo to make his mom happy.
Ellie suggested following it up with a picture of Jack and his mom from a game she came to see last season, sliding in that he plays hockey and he’s a momma’s boy.
Maybe he wasn’t giving me a hard time by asking where my blanket was from.
“I feel like a shirtless picture sends the wrong vibes,” I say, hesitating on the picture Macy strategically cropped from a trip he took this summer with his roommates.
Ellie shakes her head. “I disagree. I think if someone’s made it to the third picture, the shirtless picture could tip the scales in his favor if someone is trying to decide whether he’s worth a swipe or not.”
“Okay, shirtless picture it is,” I say, adding it in, and then we end with a picture of him and his friends in the booth at Twin City.
Based on pictures alone, it’s a solid profile, but a bio can make it or break it.
“What do you think? Something hockey or Texas related?” I ask, taking a sip of my wine, tossing the phone to Ellie.
“Can I just say one more time I think this is a terrible idea?” Macy chimes in, and Ellie shushes her.
“Don’t take away my entertainment. This is good practice for me because I’ll probably have to do this for Coop, considering he has the emotional depth of a toddler,” Ellie says, and I snort.
“Maybe Texas? I feel like there’s way more material.” Macy shakes her head, taking a drink from her glass. “What about I’m looking for the yee to my haw?”
“How about save a horse, ride a hockey player?” I suggest through a fit of giggles. Ellie gasps and covers her mouth, and our laughter is so loud it’s echoing off our apartment walls.
Once she settles down enough to take a breath, she unfortunately brings up a very good point.
“I feel like we need to change it to save a horse, date a hockey player instead,” Ellie says, and Macy nods her head, using the hand holding her wine glass to point in Ellie’s direction, almost toasting her.
“Ride a hockey player might send the wrong message if you’re wanting someone to be girlfriend material and not just someone for him to hook up with and forget about.”
It makes sense, but it’s definitely less funny that way, and I stand by it. “Okay, fine, you’re probably right about that,” I agree, typing it in, and I hesitate before posting it. “So like, how bad of an idea is this?” I ask, finally considering Macy might be right.
“I think you need to drink more wine and accept however Jack reacts to this is a future Alondra problem,” she says, and I tip mine back, drinking a large portion of my glass before making Jack’s profile live.
It takes about three minutes of us struggling to all look at the phone at the same time before I realize we can stream my phone screen to the television. “You know him the best out of us,” I say to Ellie, my gaze sliding to meet hers. “What’s his type?”
“Blondes, so I say we pick out some brunettes. I mean, if you want to keep things temporary, you go for what you don’t like, right?” she suggests, and I’m absolutely dumbfounded by the logic. One look at Macy tells me she is also stunned by the logic, but in a way, it makes sense?
Why would you pick out someone you like if you don’t plan on them sticking around for long?
“I can’t argue with that,” I say, and I’m tempted to ask Macy if she and Chad are talking again or not, but I’m afraid to bring it up because I don’t want to upset her.
Another bottle of wine later, and way more no’s than yes’s, we get our first message before we send any out.
“Oh, I think Jack will like she messaged first, but hey is a little bland,” Ellie says, making a face, and Macy sets her glass on the coffee table, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders.
“Seriously? Out of everything you could possibly open up with, she just says hey?” Macy asks.
“Maybe she’s just shy?” I say, trying to give her a chance before writing her off.
I click on Gina’s profile, and I think she seems sweet.
She likes the outdoors and puzzles, and she’s really pretty, from her dark hair and eyes to her bronze skin.
I type howdy back, sending it before anyone can tell me not to.
“Wait, I want to message the next girl,” Ellie says, motioning for me to hand her the phone.
She scrolls through the matches we already have, clicking on one of our early ones—a girl named Veronica with the straightest hair and teeth I’ve ever seen. Ellie grins, tapping a Lightning McQueen GIF, following it up with, Are you lightning? Because I’m trying to make you my McQueen.
I burst into laughter, nearly spilling my wine all over my hand as it sloshes against the side of the glass with my sudden movement. “Oh shit. This is perfect. I love it,” I say, my face hurting from smiling.
“I feel like you’re really the only one of us who can confirm how Jack hits on a girl, so is this the kind of sappy shit he says?” Ellie asks, and I feel my cheeks flush at the reminder.
“Yes, this is very on brand for Jack.”
“Dibs on next. I know exactly what to use,” Macy chimes in, already laughing and holding her side.
She chooses a girl named Ava for our next attempt.
Jack
did it hurt?
Ava
What?
I cover my mouth with my hand, trying not to let the wine go to my head, but I’m afraid I’m past that point already. Ellie’s cheeks are already flushed, her blue eyes shining as she smiles. Macy giggles, getting into this as much as me and Ellie, despite her reservations at first.
Jack
When you fell from heaven?
I roar with laughter, and she shoots me a smile. “It’s not like it’s something he wouldn’t say. Shit, he was flirting up a storm with you the night we met him.”
We message a few other girls some cheesy lines, but ultimately end up narrowing it down to three finalists for the evening.
Our responses start to take much more thought and concentration as we end up opening another bottle, filling our glasses again, but in our defense, we’re not going anywhere tonight, and there are three of us.
At some point, I end up texting Jack at the same time as I’m messaging to one of his girls, while Ellie is explaining her brother’s lack of emotional availability and everything with Willow.
Alondra
what r u up to tmrw?
Jack
depends
Alondra
on?
My phone starts to ring with an incoming call from Jack.
I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s calling me, because we rarely exchange texts.
He mentioned in passing that voice memos are less time consuming and that it’s easier for him to make sense of everything, but I couldn’t send him a voice memo without Macy and Ellie knowing everything I say.
“Why is Jack calling you?” Ellie asks, her eyes widening.
I panic and toss the phone at her. “You answer it! I can’t talk to him right now, he’s flirting with this chick!”
Macy giggles, looking up at me from where she’s now sitting on the floor. “No. You’re flirting with this girl and pretending to be Jack.”
Ellie shakes her head, taking a long breath and answers, “What’s up, pup?” Pup? Is she crazy?
I don’t hear whatever his response is, but I can see her brain trying to work. “No, we’re fine. Sara isn’t here,” she says, rolling her eyes. curling up into the corner of the couch. “Shhh, don’t tell Coop. We’re literally fine, it’s girls’ night.”
Her eyes widen as she turns toward me, motioning frantically at the television. What is that supposed to mean? “I don’t like you,” Ellie says, her voice somehow lacking the panic written all over her face.
She hangs up and groans before standing up. “They’re on their way here. Turn the TV off, quick!”
Oh shit, their townhouse is just down the block.
“They? Which ones?”
“Jack said Coop and Nate are out tonight, but he and Dylan are bored so they want to come check on us.”
Ellie makes a move for the remote in front of Macy and almost takes a nosedive into the coffee table, easily losing her balance.
“They’re coming like here? Right now?” I ask, and she nods, pressing a hand to her stomach.
“Literally any second. I think they might already have been on their way because of whatever you said to Jack. What did you say to him?”
“I asked him what he was doing tomorrow?” I say, and she turns off the television to hide the evidence.
There’s a knock on our front door, and I get up, only a little steadier on my feet than Ellie is at the moment, but at least I don’t face plant on my way to the door, opening it to find Jack and Dylan staring at me.