Chapter 18 #2
“That’s for me to know, and maybe for you to find out,” I say, taking a step back.
I’m painfully aware of how fast my heart is pounding in my chest, but I like knowing he pays attention to me to know I add limes to all my drinks.
I turn to find Ellie, but Jack’s fingers brush against mine, stopping me.
He rubs the wrapping on his hands. “Wait,” he says, watching me with an intensity that threatens to burn me from the inside out. Jack chuckles, looking me up and down before taking my hand to pull me up the stairs.
“Where are we going?” I ask, laughing under my breath as I try not to trip on people sitting on the stairs to make out while I follow him. I should be looking at the stairs to know where to step, but I can’t decide between looking at Jack’s back or his firm ass.
“Somewhere I know you can hear me,” Jack answers over his shoulder, stopping in the hall at the top of the stairs, and I try not to let the questions rise in my head asking why he thinks love doesn’t exist. I know I’m not an expert by any means, but Jack is very clearly capable of loving other people, yet for some reason, he doesn’t believe in it.
“Why?”
“He isn’t going to show up here tonight, and if he is that stupid, I’m here,” Jack says, lowering his voice at the same time he reminds me I can’t just be a normal girl at a party on Halloween with a hot guy she’s physically attracted to.
“You don’t have to worry about it, so if you want to drink tonight, then you should. ”
Shit, I really don’t want to talk about Bradley tonight. “I’m not worried about him tonight,” I say, because I’m not. I know Jack will keep me safe, and if anything, the level of trust I have in him is what worries me.
“Then why aren’t you drinking? You don’t have to, I just don’t want you to worry abou—”
I reach up and cover his mouth with my hand, forcing Jack to stop talking. “Can I talk?” I ask, and Jack licks my hand, causing me to jerk my hand back. “Ew, gross.”
“Gross? You’re the one who cut me off,” he says, and I try not to stare at his necklace.
I want to ask if it’s from an old girlfriend, but things ended poorly, and that’s why he doesn’t believe in love.
Wait—that doesn’t work because he’s never been in a relationship before, but what if it was a relationship, and he had no idea?
I wouldn’t be surprised because men can be very stupid at times.
“Because you haven’t let me say anything about why I’m not drinking!”
His face pales immediately, and Jack looks like a deer caught in the headlights when he glances down at my stomach. “Are you pregnant?”
My jaw drops because, seriously? Did Jack really just ask me that?
“No, I’m not, but never mind. It was a stupid idea.” I roll my eyes and push him back a bit so I can escape downstairs, because now I might actually need a drink.
“Alondra,” Jack says my name, his hand covering mine on his chest to hold it in place against his warm skin.
“What?” I snap, feeling my cheeks flood with embarrassment. This might be more mortifying than Jack turning me down in his truck.
“I’m sorry, I’ll shut up,” he says, giving me the best damn puppy dog eyes I might’ve ever seen. “Why aren’t you drinking tonight?”
“Because I want you to kiss me, and I don’t want you to think I’m asking because I’ve been drinking. It doesn’t mean anything, but I just . . .” I trail off, feeling my entire face flush. I slump against the wall behind me, needing the added support to get through vocalizing my thoughts.
“You just?” Jack prods, his voice lowering, and his piercing eyes never leave mine.
I swear I can feel his heart beating out of his chest from where he has my hand trapped against him.
Trapped feels like the wrong word because I could definitely pull it away, but I don’t want to, which is a whole different problem.
“I want to be ordinary. I don’t want you to be you and I don’t want me to be me, and I just want to not think so damn hard about all the reasons why I shouldn’t kiss you, because it’s so complicated,” I ramble, and someone tries to pass behind Jack, forcing him closer to me.
I haven’t had anything since leaving the apartment, but I feel drunk on the closeness of my proximity to him.
He tips my chin up, and my hat is uncomfortable on my head, making it hard for me to have the right angle to look at him. Jack plucks the hat off my head and rests it on his, and despite it being a prop, it looks a million times better on him.
“Can you say something?” I ask, hyperaware of how my breathing has quickened, and Jack looks as torn as I feel internally, but he doesn’t pull away.
His knuckles brush along my jawline, the simple touch feeling like so much more than it is.
My mouth parts and his touch skims down the gentle curve of my neck.
“Do you know there’s a rule about these?
” Jack asks, and despite being the one with every intent to catch Jack in my web, the cards have been flipped on me, and I’m enraptured, unable to look away.
I shake my head, not trusting my voice right now as he cups the back of my neck, sliding his fingers into my scalp, and the feeling is delicious.
“Wear the hat, ride the cowboy,” Jack says, smirking, and now I know I’m not imagining how quickly his heart is beating in his chest because it’s matching mine.
“You’re wearing my hat,” I say, trying not to get my hopes up as I hook my other arm around his neck. This is an awful idea, but we’ve already kissed once, so what’s the worst that can happen?
“Am I?” he asks, his dimple winking at me as the corners of his mouth pull upward while his other hand falls to rest on the curve of my waist. “Well, a rule is a rule, and I’d hate to make you break another one.”
I laugh because it sounds so ridiculous. Being here with Jack is definitely the rule I’m breaking, but my laughter dies when he leans in.
“Don’t run from me, okay?” he whispers, the words a quiet plea as I rise on my tiptoes, my eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his breath tickling mine.
There’s no running, even if I wanted to. “Let’s be ordinary, boring people,” I say, and Jack’s chuckle is a low rumble.
“I’m not sure we could be ordinary if we tried, but okay,” he agrees, and I feel the gentle brush of Jack’s lips against mine.
It’s like testing the waters, but I don’t want to dip a toe in. I want to dive in headfirst. I want to be messy and free, and I don’t want to think.
I pull Jack further down to press my mouth more firmly against his, and it’s like a switch flips in him.
His mouth is hot and demanding, causing my toes to curl in my boots.
I scratch my nails gently on his chest, and Jack angles his head, his nose bumping against mine as he presses me against the wall with the length of his body.
Oh my god.
I’m actually kissing Jack.
I match his every move, reading him like a book I’ve memorized, or maybe it’s the other way around. I can feel the wall behind me vibrating from the bass resonating downstairs, but my only focus is being consumed by Jack.
A moan rises from my throat as Jack’s thigh nudges between mine, and I hook my leg around it to feel his hardness press against my lower stomach. I nip at his full lower lip, pulling at the short strands of hair on the back of his head, knocking the hat off.
Jack’s hand on my waist slides to grab my ass, his fingers teasing over the fraying edge. I’m surprised by how much more of him I want as his tongue slides into my mouth, a needy sound ripping from him.
This is different from last time because I thought I knew what it felt like to be kissed by Jack, but this moment blows our first one out of the fucking water.
My hips move on their own accord, seeking more friction against Jack’s muscular thigh as he wraps my curls around his hand, exposing my neck as his mouth moves, latching onto the sensitive skin of my throat.
His fingers slip underneath the denim of my shorts, and a soft moan escapes me when his fingertips dig into my skin.
Jack helps guide me against him, the seam of my shorts rubbing against my clit with every movement, sending sparks of pleasure through my body.
I like that he’s not treating me like I’m made of broken glass.
“I think ordinary suits us,” I say, wishing we were wearing less layers.
God, I can’t remember the last time I felt this desperate to be touched by someone. “Didn’t think I’d like it so much,” he says, chuckling softly, palming my ass through my shorts. I want more of Jack than I should. “Fuck, Al, you’re . . .” Jack trails off, kissing me again instead.
I really like kissing Jack.
And then he stops, his breathing labored as he looks at me through dark lashes.
“I’m what?” I ask, trying to calm the chaos Jack’s created inside my body.
Jack stops, shaking his head as his thumb sweeps back and forth across the back of my neck. “You’re beautiful.”
“Don’t,” I say, feeling a blush crawl up my neck, and I move to untangle myself from him.
“I’m not saying anything that isn’t true, but I am stopping to check in with you,” he says, his hand sliding to rest on the small of my back instead. “Are you okay, or do you want to run?” Jack asks, looking me over.
Somehow, in the six weeks since we met at Twin City, Jack has infected me with his kindness, and I think I’m better for it.
Hell, two weeks ago, I would have never believed I’d be in this position with Jack, but here I am.
“I think I’m okay,” I say, exhaling a soft breath. “This doesn’t mean anything, right?” I ask, needing to hear him say it, because the longer we stop to talk about this, the more my brain is tempted to overthink everything. I want to be ordinary for a little longer.
Jack nods, leaning down to kiss the corner of my mouth. “It doesn’t change anything,” he says, and I’m tempted to ask more, but out of fear of running out of time, I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him again before he can tell me something different.