Chapter 6 Drowning In Disappointment
SIX
Drowning In Disappointment
The beat dropped, and my thighs burned, but I pressed the pedals harder, letting the music swallow the pain. In the low-lit studio, I kept pushing while the instructor shouted.
"You can do it, ladies. Don't quit."
For some, her voice might be annoying, but I found it motivational.
I focused on the large window that framed Manhattan in the morning light, like a moving postcard, and kept going.
When the song finally ended and a new one began, I looked around the room at my friends: Demetria gritted her teeth, Mei mouthed the lyrics, and Olivia rode like her soul depended on it.
We looked put together, four women sweating in sync on thousand-dollar bikes, but in my case, looks could be deceiving.
My foot slipped on the pedal, just a bit, and the city shook.
Bruno's resurgence had thrown my world off center.
Still, in here, with the city watching, I spun like nothing could touch me.
When the spin class finally ended, I was drenched. We all were. We headed to the sauna when Demetria spoke. "How's the launch coming?"
She meant Bruno but knew I might lose my shit if she mentioned him.
"Yes, isn't the Amoré Nights team still all in one piece?" Mei asked.
Olivia shook her head. "Don't worry, I've got bail money ready, girl."
"Why don't you guys understand how unbothered I am by him now? Bruno is not someone I feel anything for anymore. I'm not blushing at the office. He is like a stapler. Sometimes useful, mostly clutter."
Mei winked at me, and I knew what was coming before she said a word. "Use him to fill any holes lately?"
"Fuck no. I have a whole app at my disposal. Why would I let Bruno get near me again?"
It was only a matter of time before Demetria gave her two cents, and she never varied. "You two were perfect together. It was sad how it ended."
"That was all him," Olivia added as we settled into the steam room.
"Can we discuss someone other than me? Who are you people fucking?"
Mei smiled. "My latest is an actor. He saw me walking on a runway and already paid for a semester of medical school."
The three of us dropped our jaws in unison.
"Damn, Mei, you have gold down there."
She shook her head. "He hasn't even gotten any yet. Just a rich man showing off, so I gave him a bill to impress me with."
Laughter echoed off the cedar walls as we lounged in the sauna, sweat glistening and spirits high, like it often was when we were together.
"Olivia, how is wedding planning going?" I asked.
"If I knew it would be so annoying, I'd have just dragged Luke to elope in Vegas," she said, causing us to switch attention to her.
"Elope? Both of your families are old money, upper society. They would kill you," I pointed out.
My friend sighed. "Exactly. It's not happening."
"Just remember, you stole the groom from his lesbian fiancée. Annoying or not, you'd better plan your victory party," Mei teased.
To anyone outside our circle, that phrase would raise more than a few questions. Why would a lesbian be engaged to Olivia's current fiancé?
Demetria's eyes flashed with mischief as she said, "Or you could always give Luke back to the woman you stole him from. Then you wouldn't have to plan a wedding."
Olivia twisted her face, displeased. "Very funny."
It was. The three of us laughed. After we spent more time in the sauna talking about Olivia's fashion company and the rest of our sex lives, I hurried to the office.
Once I walked off the elevator, I saw my receptionist in a low-cut shirt, fanning her chest as she spoke to Bruno.
That was fast.
When did these two become so friendly? Tina pointed to something on a piece of paper, leaving him no choice but to lean over to see what it was.
She smiled, aware that from where Bruno stood he had a full view of her chest, which that blouse struggled to cover properly.
Even from behind them I could see her hardened nipples poking through the fabric.
"Oops, I got something on my shirt," she said when Bruno stared at the paper longer than she liked.
Like a well-trained dog, he lifted his eyes to where Tina pointed, right by her erect nipple.
She leaned forward. "This is my favorite shirt."
Bruno straightened himself but never took his eyes off the show she gave.
Really? At the front desk for all to see, while representing my company, Tina was brazen. She didn't even notice me. Obviously, this job wasn't this woman's first priority. My receptionist traced a slow line over her breast, watching Bruno the entire time, every motion unmistakable.
"Like what you see?"
"I don't," I said. "This is my place of business, not a bar. Tina, get your things. You're done here."
Bruno turned and Tina stood abruptly.
My ex wore the same expression he had given me a year ago in my dorm room. Guilty. Tina's cheeks turned red, and shame filled her eyes. Bitch, please!
"Ms. Ortega. I-I-I didn't mean…" she managed, stumbling over the words.
I pointed at her neckline. "Your nipple is showing. Fix yourself and go."
As she tucked her breasts back into the extra-small shirt, I spoke firmly. "Hurry and leave before I have security escort you out. You were the face of my company, and this is what you're doing at the welcome desk."
Heading to my office, I was pissed. Not jealous, obviously. Definitely not. I didn't want Bruno. She was free to have him, but me paying her an hourly wage to sift through my garbage was not an option.
I wasn't surprised when Bruno walked in behind me.
"Just then, out there? I didn't encourage Tina."
"You didn't stop her either." I let out a small laugh. "Right? You drooling didn't help Tina's nipples harden in any way."
"Alex, be reasonable. I can't help it if that woman—shit, any woman—finds me attractive. I never came on to them."
Somehow, this conversation seemed to be about two different instances.
"Poor Bruno. Your only fault was being so irresistible to the ladies."
He looked ready to lose his temper, and I wished he fucking would. Because then I could really hurl this paperweight I'd been eyeing at his head.
"You're being unreasonable…give me a break. You are fucking half of New York."
"Half? You're undercounting. I'm more than halfway through all of them by now."
Four minutes passed and we hadn't stopped snapping at each other. Our words grew sharper and louder, until suddenly neither of us had anything left to hurl.
Silence.
Bruno stood in front of me, jaw clenched.
The anger on my tongue shifted into something different. I ignored it.
"Makes no sense what you're doing. Fucking people to hurt or forget me."
My laughter was uncontrollable. "Bruno, when a good cock is in me—your ego might not believe this—but I don't remember you."
Silence.
"I'm fucking done," he said.
"You make it sound like that hasn't been the case for a while. Fuck Tina, anybody you want. Shit, I have a whole dating app you can choose from."
Obviously, I'd be the first to give him a one-star rating.
"Let's just get through the media events, then deal with the rest later," he said.
Briefly, I watched him, puzzled, before it hit me that Bruno planned to come with me to California.
We still had the Greenslate dinner and the PR tour.
I didn't love the idea, but one thing you could count on was my poker face.
This man, more than anyone, would not get the satisfaction of seeing me shaken.
"Be ready to leave tonight so we can catch the red-eye. "
He shrugged. "Fine."
"FINE!" I yelled, not proudly, but why did he suddenly act as if I'd invited him and he was begrudgingly coming?
We boarded the flight like strangers, though just hours ago we were bickering like two people who knew exactly where to hit and cause the most damage to each other.
For more than five hours, we sat side by side, Bruno with his arms crossed, while I stared out the window, pretending the clouds were more fascinating than they really were.
Not a word was spoken the whole flight, but his presence was louder than anything he could've said.
And maybe, just maybe, I hated how much I still felt it.
When the plane landed at LAX Airport, I stood.
Bruno broke the silence as I removed my bag from the overhead compartment. "Alex, let's put our differences aside and work hard to give Amoré Nights the best launch possible."
I glared. This was my baby. Why wouldn't I work to give it the best way forward? "Fine. Let's go."
Our itinerary for California was packed.
We had interviews with all the television stations and every social media influencer Greenslate had connections with, and unfortunately for me, all of them had the same annoying questions.
After the ninth interview, the smile plastered on my face slipped.
As the face of Amoré Nights, there was an expectation, not just that I was a believer in love, but also that I was actively searching for it to make my existence whole.
Across from this annoying Bay Point News Now reporter, I desperately tried to keep the mask in place. "Why did you create Amoré Nights?"
Why? I knew many women were fools for love and figured I'd multiply my trust fund in a short amount of time.
"For the women who are searching for love in all the wrong places.
I want to help them," I answered as my cheeks hurt slightly from holding the fake smile in place, but I had too much depending on this, so I held it in, steady like armor.
"Let's be honest, do we need a new dating app?"
Hell no, each app had the same rejects, just with a different profile.
"I think one more doesn't hurt if it has something new to offer. Amoré Nights is like a village, women rating and helping each other."
When she nodded at my answer, I tried to stretch my smile a bit wider. It still didn't reach my eyes, but it seemed to be enough.
The reporter looked at my finger, and already I knew the next question.