23. Eli
CHAPTER 23
ELI
Haven Hollow Park was quiet, exactly what I needed. The trees were doing that fall thing—gold, red, orange, like a postcard. The lake was still, except for a few ripples from the breeze. A couple of people were around, but not enough to make it feel crowded. Which was perfect. I just wanted space to think, to stop feeling like my head was full of static.
I lifted my camera from where it rested against my chest and scrolled through the shots I’d just taken . A few of the towering trees, their leaves a riot of color. One of the Ice Trail, empty and waiting for the first hard freeze. Another of the Pier, reaching out over the water, its weathered wood dark against the silver-blue lake. And then there were the selfies—one with the wind ruffling my hair, another with the pier in the background, my expression caught somewhere between thoughtful and… restless, maybe?
After transferring a couple to my phone, I posted them on Instagram with captions that said just enough without saying too much.
Needed a reset. Can’t complain about the view.
I slipped my phone back into my jacket pocket and adjusted the camera strap on my shoulder as I started walking along the trail, my boots crunching over fallen leaves. The cool air bit at my cheeks, but I welcomed it. Anything to keep my thoughts from circling back to?—
“I figured you’d be here.”
The voice cut through the quiet, low and familiar.
My pulse lurched. I spun around so fast I nearly tripped over my own feet, my heart hammering against my ribs.
Niall .
He stood a few feet away, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, eyes locked on mine. The sight of him hit me like a punch to the gut—broad shoulders, sharp jawline, that unreadable expression. The same face I’d been trying to push from my mind, now right in front of me. I drank him in, my gaze lingering on the strong lines of his face, the way the wind barely moved the short strands of his hair.
For a second, neither of us spoke. My breath came fast, visible in the cool air. His was steady, controlled, like always. I had no idea what he was thinking, and it made my stomach twist.
I swallowed hard. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.”
His voice was calm, but there was something beneath it, something I couldn’t quite place. My fingers curled into fists at my sides, nerves buzzing under my skin.
“I—” I stopped, words tangling in my throat. What was I supposed to say? That I’d missed him? That I’d been overthinking every look and every moment between us?
For a moment, I thought maybe this was it—he was going to tell me he’d been thinking about the kiss, too, that things weren’t as simple as he’d made them out to be. But I couldn’t say anything. My words tangled in my throat, caught behind the weight of everything I hadn’t said in the last few days.
Niall stepped closer. The air between us shifted, tightened. His gaze dropped to my mouth, just for a second, before flicking back up to my eyes. My stomach flipped.
“I shouldn’t have left like that.” His voice was quieter now. Rougher. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about?—”
Whatever he was about to say, I didn’t get to hear it.
Because he kissed me.
His lips were warm and soft against mine at first, hesitant, like he was giving me a chance to pull away, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I leaned into it, reaching for him, my hands grabbing the front of his jacket, desperate to feel something, anything, but the questions I’d been carrying for days.
A low sound rumbled from my chest—something between a sigh and a groan—and that was all it took. His hands shot out and pulled me closer as his mouth moved against mine with more urgency. I felt his heartbeat under my palms, faster now, like mine. His lips were insistent, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. It was like everything in my body—every ounce of tension and uncertainty—collapsed into him.
My pulse roared in my ears, and my head spun with the way his lips tasted, how his body felt pressed against mine, solid. I didn’t know where his skin ended and mine began.
I could barely breathe, but I didn’t care.
This was it. This was everything I hadn’t realized I was waiting for. His hands slid down my back and pulled me even closer. My chest felt tight, like I couldn’t get enough air.
The kiss went on, steady and consuming, until the cool night air pressed against my skin, reminding me I was still there, still in my body, and not lost in the heat of the moment with him. But even as I pulled away just enough to catch my breath, my hands still gripped his jacket like I might float away if I let go.
Niall’s forehead rested against mine, both of us breathing heavily. His lips were swollen, and his chest rose and fell under my palms. It was like he was still trying to catch up with what had just happened.
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t speak. But I knew the tension between us hadn’t gone anywhere. It had only shifted into something deeper, heavier. I could feel it in the way he stood so close, his body solid, and the way his hand slowly slid from my back to my side, just grazing over the hem of my jacket.
“What are you thinking?” I finally whispered, my voice barely there, shaky.
His eyes stayed closed for a second longer, like he was still pulling himself out of some fog. When he opened them, the look he gave me was almost... sorry? But it wasn’t quite that either. It was raw, like he was unraveling in front of me.
“I’m not good at this,” he said quietly, his voice rougher than usual.
I swallowed, trying to make sense of what that meant. He didn’t pull away or look scared, but he didn’t exactly look like someone who knew how to handle this either.
“Then why’d you kiss me?” I asked, my heart still pounding in my chest. It was like my body couldn’t keep up with the flood of emotions. “If you don’t know what this is, why?—”
“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” His words cut through me, simple and honest, and something in my chest cracked open, raw and vulnerable. “About you. About—” He stopped, shaking his head like he wasn’t sure where to go next.
Something stirred inside me, sharp and aching. I’d spent too long wondering where I stood with him, whether I was just a passing thought or someone who mattered. But standing here, feeling the heat of his body against mine, the words I’d wanted to hear made everything clear.
“Niall…” My voice came out hoarse, like I hadn’t used it in a long time. “What does this mean?”
He stared down at me for a moment, like he was weighing the question. His hand moved, his fingers brushing the back of my neck in a touch that sent heat straight through my skin.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, the words almost a whisper. “But I want to figure it out. With you. If you’ll let me.”
My breath caught in my throat. My hands loosened from his jacket and my fingers traced the lines of his chest, unsure if I was really doing this—if we were really doing this. His eyes never left mine, steady and intense, like he was waiting for me to break or run. But I wasn’t going anywhere.
“You’re sure?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
“I’m sure.” There was no hesitation in his voice now, just that quiet certainty that made me want to believe him. “This—whatever it is—doesn’t make sense, but I don’t want it to stop.”
His words settled around me, pulling me back toward him. I closed the distance, pressing my lips to his again. This time, the kiss wasn’t hesitant or unsure. It was deep and desperate, like we’d both been waiting for permission to feel something, anything. Our mouths moved together, slow but unyielding.
I could taste the faint trace of something sweet on his lips, and I couldn’t get enough of it. My hands slid up to his neck, pulling him closer, my body practically melting against his. He let out a low sound, a groan that sent a shock of heat through me.
There were no words now. Only the feeling of him, of this kiss, and the pounding of my heart in my ears.
Too soon, he pulled away, breathless. His forehead rested against mine again, and we stood there, tangled in each other’s space. Neither of us spoke for a while, and the world outside us faded into a blur of cool air and silence.
“We can figure this out together,” I said, my voice soft, hopeful even.
Niall gave me a small, unsure smile, but it was enough. He reached for my hand, fingers intertwining with mine, and I swooned.