Chapter 20
Seed planting grows a garden
Scarlett
I stare at the phone, puzzled by how my father and Endo answered my question with the same word, using the same tone.
I’m no mind reader or lie detector, but other people’s responses, especially those of people I know well, affect me.
With time and training, I’ve learned how to read my feelings and those of others.
Now, they’re telling me my father is a liar. Which in turn tells me I may not know him at all.
When I look up, Endo smirks victoriously.
Tom brings out a showcase of desserts on a porcelain plate, which Endo refuses while checking his watch.
“Do you have someplace to be?” I ask.
He contemplates the question, then says, “No.”
Declan snickers, surprising me. The man is a flick of the light during the day and a shadow at night, noticed only when he wants to be. I completely forgot he was standing not a foot away from me.
“Is my dad telling the truth?” I ask.
Endo shakes his head.
I gulp. “How about you?”
Endo stares at me. It’s not an answer, but he’s not denying my accusation either.
“Oh God.” I hold my head in my hands.
“Dec, tell Tom we changed our minds. Scarlett likes cheesecake,” Endo says.
Dec disappears inside.
Endo leans his elbows on the table. “Look at me.”
I raise my head, my chin quivering. I’d hate to cry in front of this man, so I lock my jaw and steel myself.
“There is no going back from what I’m about to tell you. Are you sure you want to know?” he asks.
I’m afraid, but still, I nod.
“As the head of one of the largest arms-manufacturing companies in the world, your father oversees the supply and demand of about half the weapons that circulate in the world. Some of those are carried by ground troops, others, the much more serious weapons, are carried by airplanes or naval vessels. It is no secret that our government supplies other governments with weapons. Sometimes, or more accurately, oftentimes, they don’t want a paper trail that can be traced to their involvement.
Other times, the cargo they’re exporting gets stolen en route, gets hijacked, gets lost.
“On all occasions, without exception, no matter what the media outlets or current leaders or whoever is lying to us at the time say, when we help, we never do it out of the goodness of our hearts. We expect something in return. Money is the easiest exchange, but not the only one. But for the purpose of our conversation, there is always an exchange of goods for money. When the sale falls through, someone isn’t happy.
Either the seller or the buyer. Something is owed.
In my experience, bad deals are bad for business as they incite a dispute that, at best, ends up with a few people dead.
At worse, it can trigger an all-out war. ”
Endo pauses as if allowing me to absorb all this.
My head feels full already, and he seems to have just gotten started.
“When big deals with big weapons and big orders go really bad, it’s often because of the involvement of people at a very high level.
In my experience, failed deals reek of politicians nobody can touch.
In public, they say one thing, but behind the scenes, they’re doing the complete opposite.
I assume your father will become one of those politicians, and if that’s the case, I need to sort out my brother’s disappearance before your father becomes more powerful and hides behind his official title. ”
Endo pauses again. “That is the truth.”
“It doesn’t make sense.” I wince at the sting in my head, an oncoming stress-induced headache, no doubt.
I reach into my purse and take out two pills, then wash them down with water.
“He’s worked so hard to get where he is now.
Any involvement with illegal arms trading will jeopardize his position. Why would he do that?”
“The people in power are blurring the lines of justice. What is legal no longer holds any merit. Global corruption is real. In my line of business, I’ve witnessed it more times than I can count.”
“Yes, but why? Why would my dad be part of it?”
Endo chews the inside of his mouth. “Some people get into this business for personal gain. Others for a higher calling. They think that’s the only way to save their country or family. Hell, I had a man tell me God sent him.”
“Why do you do it?”
“I do it for the money because it buys me power over men like your father, who do it for sport.”
I shake my head. “That can’t be why. I know my father. If he’s involved in anything like this, he’s in it for us, for his family. He’s running for office to make our lives better.”
Endo throws back his head and belly laughs.
Asshole. I push my chair back as if to rise, just as Tom arrives with the cheesecake. Strawberry syrup decorates the teal-blue ceramic plate. I do love cheesecake, but I won’t be having any right now.
Tom sets the cheesecake in the middle of the table, along with two spoons.
“You can have your cake,” Endo says. “And eat it too.”
“The saying goes you can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
“And yet, I’ll have mine.” Endo forks a piece of cake, and I take the opportunity to get up.
“Where are you going?” He drops his fork.
Home? Clinic? For a walk? “Away from you.”
“You know that’s not possible.”
“And yet, I’ll walk away.” I throw his words back at him.
“Fine. Go ahead. You look nice from behind anyway.”
Unbelievable. “I hope you choke.”
“There we go with the viciousness again.” Endo gets up and steals my dessert plate.
“You don’t even know where you’re going.
Dec has your puppy. I have a car, a warm home, and delicious cheesecake.
Don’t let your temper outsmart you. I’m the right choice today.
” He pauses. “Actually, I’m the right choice most days, but that’s beside the point.
My point is, it’s going to rain.” Endo eats a piece and moans.
“I’d rather walk five miles in the rain than spend another moment with you.”
“And the puppy?” he asks.
I glance at the little bundle sleeping in his comfortable cot near Declan’s leg. “That’s Marquis’s puppy. If you take him to your warm home, you can put him in my room.”
“Is that so?”
“It is.”
“And do you have a dog carrier for when he needs to go?”
I narrow my eyes. “You know I don’t.”
“You can ask me for one. Maybe I have one. Or two even. Maybe I lost my dogs last year, so I have pet carriers.”
Aww. He lost his dogs. Oh no, I won’t ask about them. I won’t.
Endo continues, “If you walk away now, you will walk way over five miles. In the rain. I’m not joking.”
“I’m not afraid of rain. And I’m not afraid of walking.”
Endo puts the plate down, then cups one side of my face. “Are you afraid of spending time with me?” He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip. “Are you?”
“No.”
“Then stay. I’ll stop talking about things you have no business knowing.
Eat your cake. Deal with the truth. It’s painful but necessary.
Most people can’t handle it. It’s why they hate the world and hate people who tell them the truth.
The truth is that you can have your cake and eat it too.
It’s just that people in power don’t want you to know that because that threatens their status.
Most would rather you remain in your comfort zone.
But you don’t do comfort zones, do you? You want to leave a scar.
This is cake.” He offers me a bite. “Open your mouth and have it.”
“You’ve convinced yourself that I believe what you’re telling me.”
“Do or don’t.” Lightning streaks through the sky. Thunder roars, and the first droplets fall on our cheeks. Endo wipes mine while I watch rain trail down his high cheekbones. “Walk miles in the storm and end up at my house, or get in a comfortable car and end up in the same place. Up to you.”
The piece of cake touches my lips, and I close my mouth over the food. It tastes yummy.
Endo’s eyes hood. His hand on my cheek travels to the back of my neck, and he tugs, pulling our bodies closer.
I can feel his hardness on my belly. I don’t know what to do with my hands.
I want to put them on his hips, his chest, his hair.
I want to ruffle his hair and pull on it.
Hard. I want his lips all over my body, his beard scraping the places of me that ache.
On the table, my phone buzzes with a familiar ring.
Endo holds me in place, won’t let me move. Not even an inch.
“That’s my sister,” I say.
“You know by the ringtone?”
I nod. “Please let me answer.”
“No.”
“Please,” I beg.
Endo tsks but asks, “What will you tell her?”
“The truth.”
“Ah. But she’s not ready for the truth.”
“The truth about us. That we’re not engaged and that…” I frown, my thoughts a jumbled mess. This is why I need a walk. To clear my head.
“Yes?” Endo prompts.
I can’t tell Charlotte anything because Endo and my dad are involved in a business I want nothing to do with. I’m afraid this is far too dangerous for me and my sister, and I wish I had no part in it. Oblivion, sometimes, is bliss.
The phone stops ringing.
“Let me know when you come up with something to say to her, and I’ll give you the phone.”
“You said I can have it back.”
Endo’s gaze is on my lips. “I didn’t say when.”
“You’re a liar.”
“I never pretended to be anything other than who I am. From the start, I told you the truth. I want my brother. That’s the reason you’re here. You can have your phone back when I think you’ll persuade your father to work faster. Or when I think Wilfred might call.”
“Wilfred has no business calling me. He’s just a man who works for my father.”
“He wants to be more.”
I tilt my head. “What are you saying?”
“Wilfred is interested in the trade. In the busin…”
Thunder muffles his voice, but I make out business well enough.
“I don’t care what he’ll do,” I shout over the downpour. “I want my phone back.”
“Not today.”
“Fuck you, Endo Macarley. I’m walking.”