Chapter 49
Forty-Nine
S ybil
I wake up, staring at Cooper’s ceiling, a wave of ease washing over me. I turn, finding the beautiful man asleep at my side. The events of last night return like a warm ray of sunshine. I don’t have a single regret. How can I when it was, without a doubt, the best sex I’ve ever had?
Cooper is an incredible lover, but our chemistry together was on another level, like he could enter my mind and anticipate my body’s every need. Somehow, I did the same for him.
Good God, this is a man I need to talk to my girlfriends about over spicy margaritas.
Watching him sleep now, I marvel at the way his lips look fuller when he’s relaxed, envy the length of his dark lashes, and linger on the gorgeous outline of his honed muscles.
He really is an impressive male specimen.
I always knew this, but to be naked in bed with a naked Cooper?
It’s a whole new level of understanding.
My mind races through the events of last night, greedy to parse apart every delectable moment. Every movement. Every moan. Every thrust and all the perfect orgasms we gave each other. Fuck, I’m getting wet just thinking about it, and I don’t have time for shenanigans.
I grab my phone off the nightstand. It’s almost ten. As tired as I am, I need to get moving. We’re due on set at noon, and I’ve got to go home and get changed, and since it’s a long drive to the other side of the island, I’m already running late.
If I wake him, we’ll have sex again, and I’ll be late. If I don’t, he might think I used him last night.
I peer around the bedroom, trying not to think too hard about all the nights I’ve spent in this house. Now that I’m finally in Cooper’s bed, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at home, but I peel myself from the sheets, hurry and change into my skirt and top, then give him a quick peck.
He wakes up with a smile and grabs me around the waist, a delighted squeal falling from my lips.
“Come to bed,” he mumbles.
I wriggle away. “I’ve got to get home. I’ll see you on set in two hours.”
He grumbles. “I want to keep seeing you now.”
I giggle. “Nope. Got to go.”
I rush away without a backward glance, secure in the fact that I handled that like how a friends-with-benefits girl would handle it.
At least, I think that’s what we are? Are we more?
The answer to that is still a little hazy.
And the farther I drive away, the more my chest aches to turn around.
God help me, I want to crawl right back into his bed.
Luckily, I make it to set on time. Cooper arrives ten minutes later, and we instantly lock eyes, my stomach fluttering. This is a crush on a level I haven’t experienced since his brother, but I was a teenager then, and I’m an adult now. I shouldn’t be so giddy.
We spend the following hours busy with our own tasks but also like two magnets rotating around each other, both knowing it’s only a matter of time before we’ll get to connect again. Honestly, we’ve been like this for weeks, but it’s so much more fun knowing he wants me as much as I want him.
Until one of the random assistants sidles up next to him at craft services and starts flirting mercilessly. He laughs at something she says, and she puts her hand on his upper arm.
I’m so fucking jealous I could scream, which is ridiculous. I’m not a jealous type. I don’t care if the guys I hook up with hook up with other women as long as we all agree to use condoms. This is different. Cooper is different. And we didn’t use condoms last night.
Another mistake.
So what if we’re clean and I’m on birth control? No condom is not something I do.
The only other man who ever got to have me bare was Ethan, and that was because we were in a committed relationship.
It’s been ages since I’ve had raw sex, but now that we’ve done it, now that I’ve felt him bare inside me, I can’t imagine doing it any other way.
Frustrated, I walk to the beach, hoping it’ll clear my head.
The sun is high in the afternoon sky and warm on my face, so I step into the surf to cool off. The waves lap at my ankles as I dig my toes into the wet sand, watching the water foam up and retreat. It calms my senses enough for me to breathe.
Maybe we shouldn’t have hooked up.
Or maybe we should be something more?
I’m toggling between the two ideas, knowing it needs to be one way or the other soon, because friends with benefits and nothing more is never going to work if I’m already a jealous lunatic a day in.
Cooper steps up next to me, his hands deep in the pockets of his shorts. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
He’s got one foot bare, and the other is his metal prosthetic, visible today for all to see.
This is the first day I’ve seen him wear shorts on set.
He usually hides the leg, but maybe after last night, he doesn’t feel the need to do that anymore.
If we ever end this benefits thing, I hope I at least gave him a boost of confidence.
He fixes his gaze on the horizon, and I wonder if he’s remembering what happened in this water. We’re near the area where the accident took place. I’ll never look at this water the same way again.
“I don’t think you know what you did for me,” he says.
I turn to look at him, but he stays staring at the sea. “And what’s that?”
His smile quirks, and my stomach swoops. He’s extra gorgeous when he smiles like that.
“I’m wearing shorts for the first time since last summer, and that’s thanks to you.”
I nudge him with my elbow. “That’s great, Cooper. I’m happy to be of service.”
He shoots me a devilish smirk. “Well, I do have a third leg to stand on, as you experienced last night, but I think this prosthetic is better suited for public exposure.”
I bust out laughing.
Leave it to Cooper to make a joke out of a serious conversation.
We go quiet for a minute, the silence feeling heavy. I’d focus on the rhythmic waves if I could, but my thoughts are too loud. Too frustrating. Demanding.
“You’re quiet,” Cooper points out. His voice is soft, but it cuts through my thoughts. “What’s going on?”
I bite my bottom lip. “Just thinking.”
He quirks an eyebrow, his usual smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Should I be worried?”
I roll my eyes. “Very funny.”
“Seriously, what’s on your mind?” He takes a step closer. “Are you okay about what happened last night?”
I hesitate, staring out at the water. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but saying them feels terrifying. “Are you sure friends with benefits is a good idea?”
He seems to deflate. “Only if you do. We don’t have to do that again. It might kill me, but I can go back to being platonic friends if you need.”
“No.” The word flies out of my mouth, and my cheeks heat. I clear my throat, trying to regain some composure. “I don’t want to stop what we’ve started.”
“Then what do you want?” He sounds hopeful, and that gives me a boost of courage.
“With you, given our history together, I think we would be better suited to be one or the other. Friends or…”
He raises a brow. “Or?”
“Don’t make me say it.”
He smiles so brightly it rivals the summer sun. “I’m going to make you say it. Please, go on, Valentine. Friends or what?”
“Friends or lovers,” I blurt. “Exclusive. Dating. In a relationship.”
His eyes drop to my lips, and he inches closer. “Which would you prefer?”
“I think we both know the answer to that.” My voice comes out husky, and fire burns in my cheeks, my heart racing. If this doesn’t go the way I want to it go, I think I’ll die, but something about being brave with him feels amazing.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice low. “I know the answer.”
My heart stumbles over a beat. “And?”
“And I have thought about this, too, but it’s hard. I don’t want to lose what we already have.”
I get it. “It’s okay if you don’t want to be more than friends. I won’t be mad at you. We can go back to things as they were before last night. I promise. I know how you are with women. I know you don’t do relationships and?—”
He stops my rambling with a soft, quick kiss. “Relax, Valentine,” he whispers against my mouth. “I want you.”
I break away even though I’d love to continue this kiss. “So… what now? We… try?”
The questions hang in the air between us. The thought of turning this into something real is exhilarating and terrifying all at once. But not trying? That feels worse.
“I think we do,” he says firmly, taking my hand and squeezing it before threading our fingers together. It’s a perfect fit. “I think we try, but only if we’re both all in.”
The vulnerable look he gives me weakens my knees to Jell-O. This isn’t his usual cocky grin or his teasing smirk. This is serious. This is real.
“I’m all in, Syb.”
I exhale my fear and breathe in this confident man instead. “I’m all in.”
“Okay.” Then, because he’s Cooper, he adds, “You sure you’re ready to give up all the other guys? I mean, Benton is pretty hot, even if he comes with a crazy fan-club and an Italian supermodel hellbent on marriage.”
I nudge him with my shoulder. “Oh, please. You’re the one with women fawning all over you.”
He steps closer, the surf swirling around our ankles. “Damn right I am,” he says, his voice softer now. “But I’m not sharing anymore, Syb. I’m all yours, and you’re all mine.”
“Good.” My voice is barely audible over the lapping waves.
He leans down, his wonderful full lips brushing against mine, and for a moment I let the world narrow until it’s only us—us and the decision we’ve made. This is different. It’s real, and if we do it right, it might actually last.