Chapter 6
Chapter six
Liv
Steam curls around me, and I curse under my breath when I realize my wash bag is still in the bedroom.
Of course it is. Half my life is still in my suitcase, and I’m not exactly brave enough to parade back through Jay’s apartment in a towel, not yet at least. I’ve been here for mere hours, and I’m sure he’s rethinking his life choices.
The mirror is fogged when I step out, dragging my hand across the glass, and my reflection reappears in streaks. I hold my own gaze. I look fine. Normal. Like someone who knows exactly what she’s doing. That’s the goal: to look okay until I believe it.
I re-dress in the clothes I’d worn in here and slip out into the hallway, the carpet cool against my bare feet.
The mumbles of the TV drift through the apartment, and I spot Jay stretched out on the sofa, one arm behind his head, and I take him in for a second before quickly finishing getting ready in the bedroom.
A few minutes later, dressed and ready to go, I drop onto the cushion next to him.
His head turns, and I watch his chest rise a little deeper. “Did you”—he inhales, eyes flicking toward me—“did you use my body wash?”
I freeze, trapping my bottom lip between my teeth. “I need to go shopping. I hope that’s okay?”
Something flickers across his face before he schools it, but not fast enough. His voice comes out deeper than usual. “But now you smell like me.”
My lips twitch. “Oh no. How will I survive?”
He clears his throat and pushes off the couch, not making eye contact. “I’ll be right back.”
I nibble the inside of my cheek, watching the back of his hoodie disappear down the hall, and grin to myself. Definitely got to him. I can’t wait to see what happens at the store now. He’s about to have a crash course in Olivia.
***
The drive downtown is easy, music filling the silence when neither of us talks. I catch him drumming his fingers on the wheel to the country music playing.
We pull up to the store and step inside.
The bright lights highlight rows of furniture and beds.
It smells like oak and lemon. An assistant materializes immediately, perky smile plastered on.
“Good morning, can I help you find something today?” I don’t miss the way her eyes linger on the man next to me.
My roommate is hot, and even though I know that, I’m not sure how I feel about someone who doesn’t know we aren’t a couple checking him out.
Jay looks to me, and I grin, sliding my arm through his and beaming at him as his brows draw closer and closer at the contact.
“Yes, you can,” I start with a slight southern twang to my voice, turning to face the assistant.
“My hubby and I are newlyweds. We’ve just bought our first house, and we desperately need a real sturdy bed.
” Jay stiffens a little beside me, but I tap his arm, smiling sweetly up at him. “Isn’t that right, honey?”
His eyes scream ‘what the fuck,’ and it takes all of my willpower not to laugh out loud.
“Oh, newlyweds.” The store assistant loses a little of that megawatt smile and nods. “Of course, let me find you a catalogue of what we have in store.”
She turns around to reach behind her. “What the hell are you doing?” Jay hisses in my ear, a shiver dancing down the side of my neck.
“Just go with it. I saw something on their website about a discount, but it’s only for newlyweds.” I have no idea if this will work, but I’m a sucker for a good deal. I couldn’t pass it up.
Exhaling through his nose, he relaxes a little just as the woman passes us a booklet.
“Right here in the first two pages have the most recent collection of oak frames, then divan frames, changeable headboards, and then mattress selection.” She fingers over the pages, showing us what there is.
“Any style you’d like aside from it being…
sturdy?” She almost whispers the last word, and I have to hold in a chuckle.
“Yes,” I say without missing a beat. “I like oak, but it has to survive… vigorous activity.”
Jay chokes, the sound bursting from his lips. He covers it with a cough into his fist, but his ears are turning pink.
The assistant, bless her, pretends to smile, but I can tell she’s uncomfortable. “Of course. Right this way.”
She leads us through aisles of gleaming headboards and perfectly made display beds. I tug Jay along, enjoying the way he doesn’t shrink away from me, even though I know he’s plotting my death.
“So, where did you get married?”
“In Italy,” I reply without missing a beat. My tone turns airy, like this is the most natural story in the world, not a flat-out lie. “Just outside Florence. Little stone chapel on a hill, olive trees everywhere, it was magical.”
Her brows lift, impressed. “I’ve always wanted to go to Europe, how romantic.”
“It was,” I add, spinning the fantasy like silk. “We want to go back for our anniversary.”
Out of the corner of my eye, Jay’s mouth twitches, and it ignites my own. I take that as him agreeing to see this facade through until the end.
We stop at one with a white frame, and I feel like doing the hard sell of being a real couple.
I hinge at my hips, bending over right in front of him, casting my eyes back to see his mouth fall open in shock.
His hand twitches at his side like he doesn’t know what to do with it, and his Adam’s apple bobs hard.
“Liv…” His voice is a warning that doesn’t land because he sounds more strangled than stern.
I grin smugly. “Hmm, this one is a little low, right, honey?”
He mutters out of the corner of his mouth, “You’re unbelievable.”
“Thank you.” I straighten, lean in, and pat his chest like he’s the best husband alive. “Maybe something a little taller?” I add sweetly to the assistant.
Even her cheeks are pink at this point, but she leads us around anyway, stopping at a queen-size with a solid oak frame. The assistant gestures proudly. “This one’s very durable. Our most popular, too.”
Jay runs a hand along the smooth edge of the headboard, jaw tight. “Looks… sturdy enough.” The words come out forced, and his face is a mixture of emotions, but dammit, I want that discount. I’m not stopping now.
I bite my lip, unable to help myself. “The mattress, too? Good bounce?”
The assistant clears her throat loudly. Jay shoots me a glare that should set me on fire, except his cheeks are still flushed, and all it does is make me smile more.
“It has reinforced slats, excellent support—ah—you’re welcome to try it.”
Before Jay can say no, I sit down on the edge of the mattress right in front of him and look up, giving him a look of mischief, running my hands up the sides of his thighs until I get to his hips, then I slowly lick my lips.
I bounce twice, and his eyes dip to my chest almost involuntarily.
“Oh,” I say, bouncing lightly again, watching his nostrils flare.
“This is actually pretty comfortable.” I pat the spot beside me.
“Come on, husband. We need to make sure it’s big enough for both of us. ”
I quirk an eyebrow when he hesitates, so he quickly lowers himself onto the mattress, careful and stiff, like the world’s least relaxed man. I lean back on my palms, grinning at him. “See? Plenty of room. Though I guess we could test the whole rolling-around factor…”
His eyes cloud over with a smolder that makes me a little weak, a dominant side I’ve not seen yet peeking out to say hello. “Liv.” Just my name, but loaded enough with that look to make my stomach dip.
I bite back a laugh and straighten, smoothing my skirt. “Fine, fine. No rolling.” I glance up at the assistant, who looks seconds from spontaneously combusting. “We’ll take it.”
Jay exhales like he’s been holding his breath the entire time.
The assistant nods quickly, scribbling something on her clipboard like she can’t get away fast enough. “Perfect. I’ll ring this up for you and check delivery dates. Since it’s part of our newlywed special, you’ll get 10 percent off the total price. Congratulations again.”
My jaw nearly drops, but I cover it with a saccharine smile. “That’s wonderful. Isn’t it, babe?”
My dearly beloved drags a hand down his face, but when he looks at me, his eyes are dark, unreadable. “Wonderful,” he grits out.
The second the assistant’s out of earshot, I lean close, unable to contain my grin. “See? My antics paid off. You should thank me.”
“You’re going to be the death of me. A little warning wouldn’t have hurt, you know.”
A bubble of laughter escapes me. “Where’s the fun in that? Besides, you wear panic and pink ears really well. Sorry, I’ll warn you next time I ask you to be my husband.”
His mouth twitches, even though his eyes haven’t fully softened yet. “Next time?”
“You never know when you’ll need to play that role again.”
“I’m going to regret this so bad,” he mumbles.
“No one likes a negative Nancy, husband.”
And all I can think is that I don’t remember the last time teasing someone felt safe. Nothing bad happened, no twist in my stomach… it was fun. And I think I’d forgotten that I’m allowed to have fun.
***
“So, do we have any classes together at all?” I ask my best friend just as Rosie grabs a fistful of my ponytail and yanks my scrunchie clean off. “Hey now, missy,” I say, tapping her nose. “That’s my favorite.”
She grins like the queen she is, victorious and proud, and promptly shoves it into her drooling mouth. Lovely.
“I don’t think so,” Daphne says, scrolling through something on her iPad. “All of mine are media communications now. You’re deep in art history land.”
I sigh, slumping dramatically into the couch cushions, as Rosie jackknifes to get down and rushes over to her toys in the corner. “I should’ve moved here sooner. We could’ve at least pretended to listen in math together. Now we don’t even have core classes anymore.”
“But we do have more time together overall, that’s a win for me.”
She’s right, and I love being around her again, and Rosie, too. I glance over to where Rosie is happily gumming my scrunchie. Guess she can keep that one.
“So how was your first night living with Jay?” Daphne asks, trying to sound casual, which only makes it more obvious that she’s fishing for something.
I match her tone with a drop more sarcasm. “We’ve already had sex and gotten past that awkward morning-after phase. Did you know he’s a stud in bed? I guess you wouldn’t, since you picked his best friend, but just so you know, he is.”
“What!?” Daphne shrieks, loud enough that Rosie startles. “Olivia, you cannot be serious.”
I grin, stretching out on the couch. “Of course not. But you should see your face.”
“Don’t do that to me!” She narrows her eyes, but she’s fighting a smile.
I pick at a loose thread on one of the cushions. “In all seriousness, there’s nothing to report. He’s quiet, tidy, polite. Almost too polite. It’s like he’s on his best behavior. But I guess it’s only been like a day, he could turn out to be a serial killer, still.”
Daphne ignores my serial killer comment; we both know that’s not true. “And you’re waiting for him to crack?”
“Maybe.” I sit up a little straighter. “Nobody’s that perfect. I keep waiting for him to snap at me or to tell me to get out of his space. Something. But he hasn’t. He just keeps… being nice.” And hot, he’s always hot, but I don’t tell her that.
“Jay is a really good guy.”
“I’m getting that, but like, do you think he has any skeletons in his closet? I mean, hell, mine is like a walk through a haunted house by comparison.”
She snorts but recovers. “He dated a girl for a little bit, but they didn’t work out. I don’t know much else about his love life.”
“I don’t know why I’m even talking about it like it’s my business; it absolutely is not.”
Daphne narrows her eyes for a beat, and I probably should tell her what happened at the store today, just to be totally transparent. So I do…
“Wait, you did what? Liv! You’re supposed to be the easy roommate that doesn’t cause him grief.” She buries her head in her hands. “I vouched for you!”
“In my defense, I got 10 percent off, which means that I could buy the better mattress that I wanted.”
“At the expense of your brand-new roommate. Poor Jay, I bet he was lit up like a beacon.”
I chuckle. “He was. Adorable. But don’t worry, I’m not going to go there. I can control myself.” I hide behind the word control because it feels like a layer of protection, like the discipline will stop me from making really bad choices.
“What are you even going to do with that bed when your campus housing comes through?”
“Well,” I say, leaning back against the couch, “I’m planning on begging them to let me furnish it with that at the very least. I need a good bed. I deserve a good bed. Jay’s bed is good, but I swear we will not be sleeping together in it.”
“Mmhmm,” she hums, that knowing little sound that says she doesn’t entirely believe me but loves me anyway.
The thing is, she isn’t wrong to doubt me, I’ve been wrong before—spectacularly.
I don’t want to dive into something with Jay and ruin every last shred of hope I felt leaving Washington.
I’m finally learning how to take my life back.
Small doses, shaky steps. Nothing about my life is linear, but every time I draw a line for myself and keep it, I feel like I’m inching closer to someone I might actually recognize again.
“Besides,” I say lightly, “I have a date tonight.”
Her head snaps up. “You what? How? Did you meet someone between sleeping in Jay’s bed and buying furniture?”
“An app.”
Her eyes narrow again. “Please tell me it’s not Spark.”
“No, that’s the hookup one.”
“I know,” she says flatly. “That’s how Finn met Foxx.”
“Oh. Right. Well, no. This one’s just a normal dating app.”
Daphne bites her lip, studying me. “You sure you’re ready for that, Liv?”
I meet her eyes, a little too fast. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Because the truth is, I want to be ready. I need to be.