Chapter 51
Chapter fifty-one
Jay
Knocking on the door to my manager’s office feels surreal, and handing him my notice feels even more surreal. Walking out of the apartment this morning without a kiss from Liv felt wrong, though. I almost knocked on her door, but it’s clear she needed a little time to process everything.
“California, huh?” my boss says, leaning back in his chair. “That’s big, Oliviera. Congratulations. We’ll miss you here.”
“Thanks,” I manage, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes.
He keeps talking—something about final projects, timelines, exit paperwork—but the words blur. My mind’s already elsewhere.
I spend the rest of the day going through the motions.
Editing photos I won’t be here to deliver.
Clearing old folders. Checking emails. Every mundane task feels like a placeholder for something I’m not ready to face.
I still have a month’s worth of bookings to get through before I leave, but none of that matters.
By lunchtime, I’ve checked my phone more times than I can count. Nothing from her. No text or missed call.
I try to tell myself she’s just busy, that she needs space, but each hour that passes makes it harder to believe.
By four, I can’t take it anymore. I step outside, the cold biting through my jacket, and call her. The line rings out until her voicemail greets me, instead.
“Hey, it’s me,” I say, rubbing a hand over my face. “Can you just call me when you get this? Please, I miss you and... I really want to talk to you.”
When I hang up, my thumb hovers over the screen for a second longer than it should. I almost text her, but what would I even say? I miss you even though you’re still here?
Back inside, the afternoon drags. My coworkers chat around me, someone laughs near the printer, and the faint smell of burned coffee clings to the air. It’s all normal. Except nothing feels normal.
Then, just after five, Hudson calls.
“Hey,” I answer, trying to sound normal.
“Hey, man. You talked to Liv today?”
My heart stutters. “Uh, no. I left her a voicemail this morning. Why?”
He hesitates. Traffic rumbles in the background, his blinker ticking.
“Hudson.” I straighten in my chair. “What’s going on?”
“Nothin’,” he says too quickly. “I’m coming over tonight.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. Boys’ night.”
That earns a weak laugh from me. “Since when do we plan boys’ nights? You usually just show up with beer and ruin my kitchen.”
“Guess I’m evolving.” His tone is light, but there’s something underneath it—a strain that doesn’t belong there.
“Hudson.”
“Relax,” he says. “I’ll bring food. We’ll hang out. Six work for you?”
“Sure,” I say slowly, though my stomach’s already in knots. “Yeah. Six’s fine.”
“Good. See you then.”
He hangs up before I can ask anything else.
***
By the time I pull into the driveway, the last of the daylight has thinned to a bruised gray, that hour between evening and night. All I want to do is go inside and curl up into my bed with Liv and pray that everything will be fine.
As soon as I’m inside, something doesn’t feel right. The air is too still. Then Nick Fury comes from around the corner, his meow echoing in the apartment.
“Hey, buddy, where’s Mommy? Is she sleeping?” I ask even though I know he can’t answer. He just curls around my feet, his tail whipping. “You want your dinner, huh?” Another meow, and I take the hint, dropping my keys on the side and heading to the kitchen to make his dinner.
“Liv?” I call out, wondering if she’s in her room, but the sound of her name falls flat, swallowed by the walls.
After I’ve fed the Fury kitty, I walk down the hall to see her bedroom door half open, the hinges creaking when I push it wider.
I swallow hard at the sight before me. The bed’s stripped.
The dresser drawers open and empty. Her suitcase is gone, and her planner isn’t on the wall anymore.
My lungs struggle to suck air in, but I manage to fumble my phone from my back pocket and call her.
Once, twice. Straight to voicemail again.
“Hey, it’s me,” I say, sweat forming along my hairline.
“You’re not home and I… I’m worried, please call me, Liv.
” My voice catches, and I hate how it sounds.
There’s too much of what I shouldn’t have waited to say.
I hang up but don’t move, just stare at the phone until the screen goes dark and my own reflection stares back—tired eyes, clenched jaw, a man who thought he was building something solid when really, he’d been standing on sand.
Then a knock at my door startles me. Rushing over, I pull it open to see my best friend.
“Man, you look like hell,” he says, stepping inside.
“She left.” My shoulders slump.
“I know.”
My head lifts, pulse hammering, all the blood rushing to the surface of my skin. “What do you mean you know?”
“Let’s go in,” he says, walking into the kitchen and helping himself to my fridge. I follow him, nipping at his heels, waiting for him to explain. “Liv moved into her campus apartment today.”
I drag a hand through my hair, trying to keep some semblance of even keel here, but my nerves feel like a thread fraying fast. “What? Why? How?”
“That’s why I’m here.”
“What?” I repeat, not sure I can muster another word because I don’t understand anything. “I thought I had time. We had… I don’t—what the hell is happening?” My fist slams into the counter. I’m not one for anger, but my blood feels too hot for my body.
“Jay, there’s something else.”
The way he says it sets every already fragile nerve on edge. “What is it. Is she hurt?”
His head shakes, but there’s something in his eyes. “When you were in California… she ran into Rhys.”
The name lands hard, and my scowl deepens. “Rhys? The guy who fucked her over, that Rhys?”
He exhales, crossing his arms. “He was in town for a tour of campus with his daughter, only, Liv had no idea who she was when she agreed to it.”
I stare at him, trying to piece it together. “And you’re just telling me this now?”
“I wanted to tell you, but you were in California, and that was a huge deal for you,” he admits. “But it feels like you need to know why she reacted the way she did last night. She was hurting and then… Daph told me everything right before I called you.”
The words sink in, heavy and uncomfortable.
I picture her face when I told her about California—the way she’d smiled like it hurt, the edge in her voice when she said she was happy for me.
All the things I hadn’t seen because I was too busy convincing myself she’d understand.
And the stark reality of why she isn’t here slams into my chest with a thud. “She thinks I’ve lied to her.”
Hudson nods once. “I think so. We know it’s not the same, but she was so excited to plan this whole dinner for your homecoming, and then Daph said it was a completely different Liv.”
My throat tightens. Shit. That was never my intention.
It was selfish, plain and simple, I didn’t want to fail again and have to explain it all away.
And now I see what it’s cost—how keeping her in the dark only proved every fear she’s ever had about trust. How it turned me into another reason for her to stop believing in the good things.
“She’s not angry, man. She’s scared and hurt.”
“I’d never hurt her. I didn’t…” I exhale and pull at the collar of my sweater, suddenly feeling like I can’t breathe. I didn’t mean to hurt her.
“I know, man.” His hand lands on my shoulder, and it feels like a vise around my neck.
I look at him and know he sees everything I can say right now. I need her. I can’t lose her.
I take a slow breath, feeling it catch somewhere behind my ribs. “I need to fix it.”
He hesitates, but only for a moment. “I know where she is.”