FRANCIS The Blackbird
FRANCIS
The Blackbird
As I stride towards the Blackbird in the crisp autumn air, cooler with each passing day, I can’t think about anything except the mess I’ve landed myself in. A mess I’ve created entirely on my own.
I know perfectly well that tonight I’ll have to share this new chapter of my life with everyone: there’s no way out of it, and to be honest, I no longer want to run.
I’m fully aware that I’ve been a coward lately, doing everything in my power to dodge responsibility after acting like an arsehole with Anne. But this… this is something else entirely. This isn’t just an argument between exes. It’s a real emergency.
And even if I don’t deserve it, I need my friends’ help.
Adele has been officially placed in my care, after all the necessary background checks, and in a matter of days she’ll be moving in with me on Kennington Park Road, at least until, hopefully, her mother comes to her senses and decides to return.
When that moment comes, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure they both get the support they need to get back on their feet.
But until then, I couldn’t bear the thought of that little girl ending up in care, without anyone to love her properly, and at risk of being moved from one place to the next.
I acted on impulse, I know. I was probably reckless, and when I told my parents, they voiced a few concerns at first. But even so, I don’t regret stepping forward for Adele.
She needs a steady adult, someone who’ll show up, look after her, and give her the chances she’s never had.
The only problem is… I haven’t the faintest idea how to care for a child, let alone a baby like her.
Sure, I’ve got nieces and nephews, and some of my friends, like Seb and Remi, have kids I get along with brilliantly, but it’s one thing to be a part-time uncle, and a whole other to suddenly find yourself a full-time parent.
On your own. And completely unprepared.
Even my experience as a paediatrician isn’t all that helpful under the circumstances, except when it comes to medical issues, because the professional role I take with my young patients has little to do with the kind of parental care a child actually needs.
My parents, who, aside from my colleagues, are the only ones who know about Adele’s placement so far, were understandably shocked at first. But once they understood my reasons, they were supportive and even offered to help.
Still, my dad’s health is fragile, and leaving Sennen Cove, even just for a few days, would be extremely difficult for him.
At the same time, the thought of asking my mum to drop everything and come to London, leaving Dad behind and my brothers without her help with all their kids, feels unfair. And wrong.
Of course, Adele is her granddaughter now too, and I can’t wait to take her to Cornwall so they can meet. But unlike my brothers, I have a well-paid job and can afford some external help.
The real issue is finding someone I can actually trust, and that’s where I’m hoping my friends might come through with some good advice.
The moment I step into the pub and breathe in the familiar scent of beer and freshly baked pies, I feel slightly better, even though my nerves are still shot to hell.
My friends are already gathered around our usual table, and I notice straight away that we’re fewer than last time: Kit, Ollie, Maude and, unsurprisingly, poor William are all missing.
I wouldn’t blame Anne’s new boyfriend for steering clear of the Blackbird after my theatrical performance the other night.
Maybe it’s for the best. This time, it’s not the exit but very likely my entrance that’s going to make waves, and to be honest, I’d rather not traumatise the poor guy again…
As soon as the others spot me walking in, I find myself under the scrutiny of seven pairs of eyes, and let’s just say none of them look particularly friendly.
The only ones who seem willing to give me the benefit of the doubt are Ian and Seb, watching me with a mix of concern and quiet sympathy.
The rest, however, fold their arms almost in perfect unison as I approach, in a move that might actually be funny if they weren’t all glaring at me with varying degrees of disappointment and irritation, both of which I fully deserve.
All of them… except for the youngest McAvoy.
Jack, with his hair practically sparking and his eyes ablaze, is staring at me like a furious little fox, wearing his obvious dislike with pride.
Faced with their silence, I drop heavily into the nearest chair.
I know they’re all expecting a well-earned apology, and they’d be absolutely right to, but the only thing that comes out of my mouth is, “Guys… I’m so screwed. I’ve just been granted temporary custody of a baby…”
The reactions are, understandably, a mixed bag, depending on each of their personalities, but the one thing they all have in common is panic.
I’m starting to worry that not a single one of them thinks I’m remotely capable of parenting, even on a short-term basis.
As their voices start to overlap, along with my own internal chaos, someone finally takes control of the situation, and, surprisingly, it’s not Seb.
“Hold it right there,” says Anne, and she doesn’t even need to raise her voice, her tone alone is sharp enough to cut through the chatter.
Once she’s got everyone’s attention, she continues, “I’m just as shocked as the rest of you by this news.
Our friend here…” she gestures in my direction with a pointed look and a voice thick with disdain, “or perhaps I should say our missing-in-action friend, well, you get the idea… Look, I think he owes all of us an apology, but I also think we owe it to him, as decent friends, to give him the chance to explain himself.”
Message received. Loud and clear.
Unlike them, I’ve been a total shit excuse for a friend, but they’re still willing to hear me out, and I know I can’t mess this up.
So, I finally say the words I should’ve said days ago.
“First of all, I want to apologise to Anne and to all of you, not just for the way I acted last time, which was completely out of line, but also for going off the radar and ignoring your calls and messages. You didn’t deserve that.”
I pause for a breath, already sweating and painfully aware that every pair of eyes is locked onto me like heat-seeking missiles.
Then I go on, because this is something that needs to be done, and it needs to be done properly.
“I know I’ve messed up. I haven’t exactly been the best friend lately. I’m not making excuses, and I want you to know that I’m working on myself. I swear I’m trying, I really am... but it’s not easy. You know what I’m like. And I think it’s going to take time.”
When I look up again, I find them all watching me, not with anger this time, but with a mix of relief and quiet encouragement. All of them... except Jack.
He’s still sitting there with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, lips pressed into a thin, unforgiving line, glaring at me out of the corner of his eye.
That sharp, elf-like face of his is twisted into an unmistakable look of contempt, as if not a single word I’ve said has convinced him in the slightest. And I don’t know why, but the sting of his judgement hits me like a slap in the face.
I’m aware that I wasn’t particularly kind to him. Fair enough, there’s something about that boy that gets under my skin.
I can’t quite put my finger on it, whether it’s that strange mix of shyness and arrogance, or the way he flits about, all giggles and twists, but I genuinely didn’t think I’d done anything that awful to earn his complete and utter disdain after meeting me only once.
With some effort, I shift my focus back to the group and go on, “There’s still a lot I have to say, I know, but right now I really need your help, guys…
Adele is one of my patients. She was abandoned at the hospital while being treated for pneumonia…
” Just saying it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but I know I have to keep going.
“She was… she was about to be placed in a children’s home. ”
Now I have everyone’s full attention, I can practically feel them holding their breath as they wait for me to go on.
Remi pulls his husband close, and Sebastian’s already blinking back tears. Noah and Jamie both have their arms wrapped around Anne, who stares at me in stunned silence.
The McAvoy brothers are watching me with a mixture of disbelief and sympathy, or at least Ian is. Jack, on the other hand, looks more horrified than anything else at the thought that someone has actually entrusted me with a baby, and to be fair, I can’t exactly blame him.
But somehow, I have to finish explaining what’s happened.
“The child’s mother is very young and in a vulnerable situation, financially, and within her family as well.
Right now, she’s unfortunately untraceable, but I’m hoping she’ll come back soon and that, with the help of social services, we’ll be able to offer real support to both her and her daughter.
Until then, the baby will be with me. She’ll be coming home in a few days, and I’ve been granted a short period of parental leave… ”
I don’t even manage to finish the sentence, because while I’m still trying to make sense of my own words, Seb, his face wet with tears, gets up and walks over to me.
In a heartbeat, he’s in my arms, holding me tightly, whispering gentle words of encouragement as he cries.
Remi, despite his well-known jealousy, doesn’t stop him. And that’s when the dam finally breaks.
I start crying too, really crying, releasing all the emotions I’ve been bottling up over the past few days. I feel completely overwhelmed, like I’ve reached a point of emotional saturation where I simply can’t hold anything in anymore.
The rest of the group doesn’t need any prompting: one by one, they rise from their seats and join me and Seb in what turns into a very necessary, if slightly mortifying, group hug, right in the middle of the Blackbird.