Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
FRANCIS
The Blackbird
After an entire afternoon on Maida Avenue with Adele, Leo, and the rest of the Elliott Arnette family, I have to admit the idea of finally heading to the Blackbird sounds incredibly appealing.
Between the chaos of the kids, Emma’s nonstop chatter, and the endless affection between Remi and Seb, I found myself teetering on the edge of a minor breakdown at one point.
The only one in the group who probably understood my distress was Maude, whose love life is just as bleak as mine, if not more so, but at least she’s more used to seeing her brother and his husband fawning over each other like hormonal teenagers.
The one good thing about witnessing all that mushiness is the hopeful thought that if fatherhood hasn’t done anything to kill their sexual chemistry, maybe there’s hope for me too, now that, like the Elliott Arnettes, I’m officially part of the parent club.
If Maude weren’t practically a sister to me, the two of us would probably make quite the pair. I find her dry calmness oddly soothing, and even though she always seems to take my jokes far too seriously, she somehow never actually gets offended.
Truthfully, Maude has grown into a remarkably graceful and beautiful young woman in every sense.
I’m proud, and grateful, to have known her practically my whole life and to count her as a friend.
But there’s never been any spark between us, no physical attraction at all, let alone the explosive chemistry you can clearly see between my best friend and his husband.
Or the strange kind of ache I’ve started feeling lately around a certain dancer… If it weren’t so tragic, it might almost be funny.
Of all the people I know, the only one who’s managed to stir something in me since things ended with Anne is that sharp little fox, Jack McAvoy.
Not that I have any intention of doing anything about it, of course. I’m not completely insane… After what he said the other night, I’m fairly certain Ian would kill me if he found out I had even the slightest interest in his little brother.
Even though he complains endlessly about how annoying Jack is, which, to be fair, I can understand, I can still sense how fond of him he’s become, and just how protective he is.
That said, I have to admit that, despite my best intentions, the thought of young McAvoy turning up tonight with his new friend doesn’t exactly fill me with joy.
Anne, on the other hand, will be bringing poor William back into the fold, hoping this dinner turns out to be less of a disaster than the last one.
I can’t blame her for wanting to give it another go, and I’m fairly certain things will go more smoothly this time.
In any case, we’ll all be far too busy planning our usual Christmas party, which I’d like to combine with Adele’s first birthday, to dwell too much on our personal dramas.
As I step into the pub, I’m instantly wrapped in that familiar warmth and the comforting scent of freshly baked pies and beer.
I head straight to our table, giving a quick nod to Alex, the new owner, who’s busy pouring a pint of Guinness, and I find most of the group already there.
I greet everyone and glance around, realising that the only ones still missing are Jack and… his friend, neither of whom are in sight yet.
After leaving Adele with Emma and little Leo, I popped home for a moment, while Remi, Seb, and Maude came straight here.
Right now, they’re chatting pleasantly with Anne and William, who gives me a cautious look that, to be fair, I can’t really blame him for.
As I approach and lean in to shake his hand, I don’t have to force a smile, nor do I need to try too hard to say the right thing.
I find myself apologising: “Hi, William. Sorry about the last time we saw each other. If I came across as a bit of an arse, you were absolutely right. But I’d like to say, that was just a bad night… I’m usually much better behaved.”
Someone at the table clears their throat, clearly disagreeing with that last bit, and I can’t help but smile.
After a brief silence, so quiet you could hear a pin drop, I go on, “If you’d consider giving me a second chance at being your friend, I’d be very grateful.”
Anne’s boyfriend nods slowly. “Su… Sure, Francis,” he replies, though he looks a little bewildered.
He’s probably wondering if I’m high or just completely mad.
Either way, he gives me a faint smile, and that’s already something.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Anne staring at me like I’m a live grenade.
I get the feeling she’s not entirely convinced she can trust me, and if she ever found my unpredictability charming, those days are definitely long gone.
But suddenly, with a sharp flash of awareness, I realise I no longer feel that hard kernel of anger and regret that had been lodged in my chest for far too long. Right now, all I feel is genuine gratitude at the thought that Anne has found someone who loves her the way she deserves.
Someone who truly loves her for who she is, and that person, I finally understand, could never have been me.
Not only that, but this realisation lights the way forward, too, because now I know, beyond any reasonable doubt, that what I’ve always wanted more than anything… was someone who wanted a family. And who wanted to build it with me.
I step away to take one of the empty chairs, and for the first time in a long while, I feel genuinely at peace.
By the time I sit down next to Kit, I’m relaxed and ready to enjoy a proper night out with the Blackbirds, and that’s exactly when I see my little cunning fox walk in, with his guest.
And as objectively stunning as this friend of his might be, it’s Jack I can’t take my eyes off.
And not because of that ridiculous little sailor-blue outfit, good God, what is he wearing tonight? My eyes are bleeding, but because he, with his little bounce from foot to foot, that shy, nervous smile, and those amber eyes framed by lashes that go on forever, lights up the whole room.
Watching him walk towards me feels like a thousand candles flickering to life all at once, and that feeling alone tells me more than any reasoning ever could: I’m gone. Completely, utterly gone for him.
Jack slips into the seat between me and Ian, while his friend, who introduces himself to everyone as Ludo, settles between Ollie and Maude.
Ian turns to me behind his brother’s back, with a conspiratorial look and mutters, “Get a grip, Starkey. I’ll admit, this Ludo guy’s a bit of a showstopper, but you look like you’ve just seen the Virgin Mary.”
I whip around, shooting him a glare that could kill… if only he knew!
But I don’t get a chance to say anything, because Jack turns his back to him, waving him off like an annoying fly.
“Drop it!” he hisses at his brother. “Ludo’s my friend and he’s off-limits for you…” Then he spins around to face me and adds, “And for you too!”
I raise my hands in surrender and reassure him at once. “I swear, I’m not interested in your colleague!”
“Oh, right,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I forgot, you’ve already got Eddie on your mind…”
“Eddie who?” Ian and Kit chime in, practically in unison, and before the entire table starts dissecting my love life, I take control of the situation. I rise to my feet and tap a fork against a glass until I finally feel all eyes on me.
“Sorry to interrupt, dear Blackbirds, but as you all know, we’re gathered here tonight not just to enjoy each other’s delightful company but also to plan our annual Christmas party…”
The table erupts into an approving murmur, and hoping I won’t come to regret it, I go ahead and pitch my idea.
“I’m sure Remi and Seb would love to host us all at Maida Avenue again…”
The Elliott Arnettes immediately nod enthusiastically, without, of course, taking their hands off each other. Honestly, those two are hopeless.
I shake my head and go on, “This year, though, as you all know, there’s a big new addition in my life, little Adele.
And since my daughter’s birthday falls right around Christmas, I was thinking it might be nice to host the holiday party at Kennington Park Road and celebrate her first birthday at the same time. What do you think?”
Unsurprisingly, I’m immediately met with a chorus of enthusiastic voices, everyone throwing in their ideas at once. But even in the general chaos, I can sense, without a shadow of doubt, that everyone’s on board.
We’ll figure out the details later, I tell myself, satisfied, settling back into my seat.
Beside me, Jack lets out one of his excited giggles, hiding his face behind his hands and moving his head and neck in that peculiar, twitchy way of his, something I couldn’t stand at first and now find oddly endearing.
He practically coils in on himself, buzzing with energy, dressed in that ridiculous sailor-inspired outfit with the usual neckerchief, eagerly listing off ideas for the most magical birthday party the world has ever seen.
The poor waiter, who comes over to take our order in the middle of all this chaos, needs nearly ten minutes to piece it all together before walking off looking utterly defeated.
While the little fox keeps chattering away about the party prep, I take the chance to glance around and notice, with genuine relief, that even Maude, who usually finds crowded places overwhelming, is deep in conversation with Kit.
They’ve known each other for years, apparently, but seeing them so close together, I can’t help wondering what on earth a neurodivergent math whiz and a laid-back professional rugby player could possibly have to talk about so intensely.
Then again, that’s a silly question. If anyone should know better than to fall for stereotypes, it’s me.
Even people who seem to have absolutely nothing in common can sometimes find solid ground to build a connection. In fact, differences can be incredibly stimulating, the spark in any relationship, if approached with intelligence and respect.
That said, I really can’t picture Kit and Maude wrapped up in some kind of romantic plotline… but after what’s happening to me lately, never say never.
I glance around, looking for Jack, who’s currently trying to convince a very stoic Ian that renting an inflatable Grinch is a perfectly reasonable idea, when suddenly, it feels like all the air gets sucked out of the room.
The entire table falls into a stunned silence.
Across from me, I see Remi scoop Seb straight off his chair and into his lap, holding him tightly, like his life depends on it.
Noah and Jamie stay where they are but cling to each other with matching, shocked expressions.
Anne, frozen beside William, looks like she’s been turned to stone, while Ian clenches his jaw and balls his fists on the table, wearing the look of someone who’d burn the world down to protect the people he loves.
The newer Blackbirds exchange glances, focused, alert, like they’re ready to spring into action at the first sign of trouble.
The only people who seem genuinely clueless right now are me, William, and Ludo, the new guy.
My throat suddenly feels dry, and in a wave of anxiety, I need to make sure Jack is still right here beside me.
I turn to look at him and instantly see that he’s just as shaken as the rest of them. Instinctively, searching for a clue, I follow the direction of his gaze, and the moment I turn toward the entrance, I finally understand what’s caused such a stir.
And honestly, I can’t blame them.
Because pushing through the crowd, unmistakable even from across the pub with her iconic blonde curls piled on top of her head, sky-high stilettos, and a sleek black coat sweeping behind her, is none other than Miss Maddie Clarke herself.