Chapter 7 Liam
Liam
“Shit, only one more week ’til preseason.” Walker says as he pulls up his running app on his smartwatch. He keeps careful track of everything he physically does on a daily basis. He’s even got me doing it.
We’re about to head out for our daily run.
It’s something we’ve been doing every morning before we hit the gym with our trainer.
When we’re together, we’ve always been able to push each other to a higher level.
It’s only been two weeks and I’m in the best preseason shape of my life right now.
That’s going to give me a huge advantage going into training.
This is more fun than I’ve had in years.
“Well aware.” I respond while lacing up my running shoes.
“Mom and Dad get off okay this morning?” My parents pretty much adopted him after he lost his in a drunk driving accident, even though he was an adult at the time.
My mom said it didn’t matter. Everyone needs someone looking out for them.
He and Madison just seamlessly slid into our family, like they’d always been there.
“Yeah, they’re gonna text me when they get to the UK.”
“They deserve to have the best vacation ever.” He grins at me.
“They absolutely do.”
We take off on our regular route around the neighborhood park and down through the back streets under the overpass. It takes us less than an hour to run our five-mile route, and we always stop at the coffee shop for a cold brew once we’re finished. Caffeine is a requirement, not an option.
“Everything good with you and your folks?” Walker asks after we’ve settled into a comfortable pace.
“What do you mean?”
“Fergs, seriously? Your mom hasn’t been over to your place since I got here. What’s up with that?”
He’s right. Last time he was here, we saw my mom every day.
Now I know why. The guilt creeps up again, and I grimace.
It’s been riding me hard for the last few weeks.
I feel like a dick for not noticing what was happening right in front of me.
Even though I’m embarrassed as all hell, I tell him about our conversation.
“You really didn’t know?” Walker asks after I’ve finished going through the whole thing. We’re a couple of miles in, so I’m breathing hard now, and it takes a minute for me to answer.
“Uh, yeah. I know. I’m an idiot.”
“I don’t think you’re an idiot. You’re just get extremely focused. It’s your super power.”
“Whatever.”
“I’m serious. When you go after something, you don’t let anything get in your way. It’s pretty fucking cool.”
We’re silent for a while. Mainly because it’s getting harder to talk and still keep the pace, but also because now he’s given me something to think about.
“Think you’re done beating yourself up about this yet? You know your mom and dad are already over it, right?” Trust Walker to be blunt.
We’ve finished our run, so we’re drinking our cold brews outside The Rocky Bean, our neighborhood coffee shop. It’s early morning, so it’s busy, but most people are on their way to work, so we have the outside seating area to ourselves. I stretch, enjoying the late summer sunshine.
“Probably not and yes, I know.”
“Gonna give you some advice. You might recognize it. Every time you fail at something.. “
“There’s an opportunity to learn.” We both finish the sentence together. Dad may have dropped that sage piece of wisdom on us a time or two after we’d received some brutal feedback.
“Why do I still feel like such a dick?” I squirm in my seat, my self-loathing particularly potent this morning. Maddie’s criticism is the hardest to shake, which is not something I’m comfortable admitting.
“Because it’s your mom and she’s like the nicest person on the planet. I get it.”
“Yeah, that’s a part of it.”
“Hard to fix when you’re wallowing, man.”
“I’m not wallowing.”
Okay, I’m wallowing, but I’m not normally a guy who wallows.
I’m a professional athlete, so I’m used to the criticism.
My dad taught me to take it all with a grain of salt, focusing on the things I’m able to work on and improve, and to make sure that my emotional reaction didn’t dictate response.
For me, the second seems harder than the first, especially with Maddie.
“You so are.” He says with a laugh.
“Fuck off.” I flip him off for good measure before grinning at him. “We better head out. We’ve got that team meeting at noon.”
I watch the excitement build around me as Damon introduces our new coach and they walk us through the pre-season training format.
Even the vets look pumped when they detail all the upgrades and new programs they’re implementing.
I expected more resistance from some of the older players, so it’s a pleasant surprise when their reactions are favorable.
Coach and Damon finish up their presentation with my introduction as this year’s captain.
As I make my way to the front of the meeting room, hearing the heartfelt applause and enthusiastic wolf whistles is incredibly gratifying.
I’m not comfortable in my position yet, but the team’s reception of the announcement is enough to give my confidence a boost. Despite writing something to say earlier, I decide it’s too cheesy, and I’m just going to wing it.
“Thanks to everyone who put my name in the hat. I want you to know I take this to heart. If you know me, you know I’m always willing to put in the work.
So, you need to know I’ll be putting in the work as your captain too.
We’ve got a chance this year to rewrite our story.
To take this team to a new level. I think that’s something worth fighting for. Who’s with me?”
Once the meeting’s over, we head into the gym for our fitness evaluation. For once, I’m anticipating this season instead of dreading it. I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until this moment. And fuck if I’m we’re let us go back to that again.
I make my way over to a group of the younger players.
Most of them are new, so I want to introduce myself, and get to know them a bit.
I hang out for a while, but when they start discussing a group chat for Call of Duty, I take it as a sign to move on.
I’ve decided to take a step back from video games this season. Look at me, adulting like a pro.
“Can you believe that bullshit speech? It’s like they don’t even know hockey. What a couple of pussies.”
Glancing to my left, I’m unsurprised to find Karl Bell, asshole extraordinaire, wearing his usual sour look. I know from painful personal experience that he’s responsible for the worst hazing incidents. I may not have been able to do something about it before, but I certainly can now.
It’s time to put a stop to his bullshit. I refuse to let him continue harassing the younger players. I’m taking a stand, and it feels damn good.
“I’d love to see you call Damon Hawk a pussy to his face. Go on, Bell, he’s right over there.” I stare him down, not giving an inch.
“Fuck you, Fergs.” Witty.
“That’s Captain to you, Bell. Looks like all of your asshole buddies got traded, so guess what?
No one gives a shit about your opinion anymore.
If anyone’s spouting bullshit, it’s you and your goon squad.
Too bad they didn’t take out all the trash.
But hey, there’s still time. I mean, no one’s guaranteed a place on this team, are they, Bell? ”
“You don’t know a thing about real hockey, Captain.” His sneer as he says “Captain” is as telling as his attitude. “If you really cared about this team, you’d be backing me up. You’ve been a pansy ass since rookie year. Captain, my ass.”
He’s up in my face now, chest puffed out like we’re about to throw down, when Walker breaks in.
“You think it’s only Cap you got to worry about, Bell? Maybe you’d better take a look at whose got his back?”
“I’d think rethink your approach, if I were you.
” What? The faint Russian accent tells me exactly who commented - definitely Orlova.
He tops me by at least three inches, and I’m pretty sure he outweighs me by at least 20 pounds.
It feels pretty damn good to have someone like him at my back.
I glance behind me to see my alternate captains and a few of the veterans.
“Looks like you’re voted off the island, Bell. Now run away like the slimy rat you are.” Our goalie, Reid Gauthier, says with more than a hint of satisfaction. Seems like I’m not the only one who’s got a history with Bell.
I’ve never known Reedsy to take sides in the past. In fact, I was pretty confident he and Bell were tight.
I’m sure there’s a story behind it, but I couldn’t be more thrilled to be wrong.
Reedsy’s had a tough time in the last few months.
He’s been in the player assistance program.
No one knows exactly why, but drug and alcohol rumors are everywhere.
All we know is that he tested positive last year for PEDs before one of our games, and then he was gone.
I figure if he wanted to talk about it, he would. It’s his call, and none of my business.
I give Reedsy a nod for his assist. He nods back.
“I don’t need this shit from you fuckers. It’s your funeral.” Bell snaps before stomping out the door. Fuck him.
“Wow, what a dick. Is he always like that?” Walker asks, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Yeah, that’s just a small sample of what it used to be like.
” I tell him, not wanting to go into detail.
Bell’s comments are nothing new to me. I’ve had to put up with that fucker for seven years, and that’s not even the worst thing he’s said or done.
Shameful memories of rookie year surface, but I cut them off. Now is not the time.
“Jesus that’s fucked up.” Walker looks so shocked. It validates everything I’ve believed about how toxic this team’s culture used to be.
I catch my breath as my supporters surround me. I have to stop myself from choking up. Just knowing these guys have my back is everything. I never would have seen this coming, but damn, it’s pretty fucking awesome.
I make them all a silent promise. A promise to be worthy. They’ve got my back, so I’ll be damn sure that I’ve got theirs.
With Bell’s departure, the energy of the room shifts, like someone’s flipped a switch, and the tension dissolves into pockets of laughter and good-natured ribbing.
I find myself shunted off to the side with my alternate captains.
Nikoli Orlova’s the first one with his hand out, introducing himself.
Like he even needs to. We’ve never talked, but I’ve played against him plenty.
He’s one of the best veteran defensemen in the league, and I’m fangirling hard as I shake his enormous hand.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Orlova,” I can’t help it. It just comes out.
He lets loose with a big belly laugh that brings a grin to everyone’s face, and I warm to him immediately
“Orly’s fine, Cap.” That deep voice rumbles, Russian accent barely discernible. He’s been playing here for quite a few years now.
“Coop. Burnsy. Good to see you both,” I say, nodding in We’ve been teammates for a few years, but I haven’t spent much time with them outside of hockey.
Gage “Coop” Cooper and Alex “Burnsy” Bernier are both veterans with the Wolves. They’ve always been team players on the ice when it mattered. They’re both solid players but quiet, keeping to themselves in the locker room. To see them step up and support me means a hell of a lot.
“Thanks for having my back with Bell, it means a lot to know I can count on you guys.”
To my surprise, Coop speaks up.
“I was about to request a trade when they hired Hawk but decided to wait. Only because a buddy of mine in Boston said he was one of the best he’s ever worked with.
Glad I did. For once I’m not dreading the start of the season and that’s big for me.
I’ve pretty much hated playing here the last few years, but I love hockey so I stayed.
We aren’t going back to that, ever. That’s why I said yes to the “A”. I respect you, Liam. Always have.”
I’ve never heard Coop say so many words at one time. He’s a grunter on his best day. Maybe one or two words if you’re lucky. Looks like I’m lucky today.
“Thanks, man. That means a lot.”
“I agree. The only reason I’m still here is because my wife likes the schools.
So, when Hawk asked me to help get the team back on track, how could I say “no”?
We’ve got a chance to fix this shit, boys, and I want that.
I miss how I used to love it.” That last bit is soft, like Burnsy’s afraid to admit it out loud, but it hits the hardest.
“I feel that, Burnsy. Don’t think you’re the only one.” I assure him, giving him a pat on his shoulder in solidarity. This is what we need. This kind of heart. This is what makes a team.
Looking back, I can’t help but wish I had looked a little deeper at my teammates, maybe gotten to know them a bit better. I make a note to myself to be better about that going forward.
“Looks like we’re all in on this. What do you say, boys?” I hold out my fist.
Coop is the first one to bump it, responding with a grunted, “Hell yeah!”
Burnsy and Orly are a close second, coming in at the same time, both with enthusiasm.
Fuck yeah, we’ve got this.