Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
Logan
Being with Ernie and Mary only made me surer that I’ve already found my home, my person.
So, I called my agent and talked through my idea with him.
A long shot, but a shot I have to take. He tells me that there’s only one person who can veto the Oregon deal, give me what I want, which leaves me with a lot to think about on the flight home.
When I get to Sawyer’s, there’s still security on-site, and I send up a silent thanks to her cousin Owen for running a reliable company. Owen’s security firm is sticking around until after the trial or plea deal—wherever they land. I nod to the guy watching the door as I let myself into the house.
“Doc?” I call out, heart hammering. What I’m about to ask her will change my life—or it could, if I can get all the other pieces to fall in the right direction. A big fucking if at this point.
“Living room!” she calls back.
As soon as I enter the big open space, Sawyer sets down her book and rises to her feet, and I wonder if she can sense the nervous energy vibrating off me. If I propose this, and she still says no, I might fall to my knees and beg. That’s how desperate I feel to make my plan work.
“Are you okay?” she asks, scanning me from head to toe over and over.
I take a deep breath, but it doesn’t feel like I can get enough air in my lungs. No preamble. Just tell her.
“If I can figure out a way to stay on the island—to not be sent to Oregon or anywhere else—will you…” I run my hands through my hair, and they’re damp with nerves. My heart is beating as hard as after a cardio workout. “I want us to stay together, and I think I have a way.”
Her eyes widen, and she leaves the couch area to frame my face with her hands. “Don’t quit.”
“I’m not quitting,” I say with a nervous chuckle. “I don’t think I’m quitting.”
“What’s your plan?”
“I can take care of that part,” I say. “I just need to know where you stand. If I can stay here, can we stay together?”
“My timeline—”
“Fuck the timeline. We can go to the courthouse and get married today. Throw out your birth control tomorrow. I just want you.”
She lets out a little gasp.
“But if you don’t want me, if it’s not really the timeline,” I say, swallowing, “but it’s me, then I need to know.
I need to know. I won’t fight the trade if it’s not me for you.
Because it’s a thousand percent you for me.
It’s just you. One year, two years, five years—name your timeline and I’ll meet it. ”
“Logan,” she says, drawing me into a tight hug.
But it’s not an answer, and my whole body is still on high alert. Not even the close contact, which normally regulates me almost immediately, is enough.
“Don’t leave me hanging, doc.”
“Are you sure you don’t care about your ten-year timeline? I know what it’s like to feel like you have to do something.”
“The only thing I have to do is keep you in my life. As long as you’re okay with being more of a single parent when I’m on the road or at practice or any of the other hockey commitments, then I’ll be there at one hundred and ten percent whenever I can. I’ll show up for you in every way I can.”
“Yes,” she says, drawing back to frame my face again. “Yes. I love you. I love you so much.” Tears pool in her eyes and trickle down her cheeks. “I want that life with you so much.”
Everything that was tight and tense with longing inside me unravels at her words, and I kiss her, wrapping my arms around her back and holding her close. “Thank god,” I whisper into her ear. “Thank god.”
“I’m sorry,” she says against my shoulder. “I didn’t think it was fair to tell you that I loved you when we had such different ideas on our futures. Maybe I should have. I’ve felt it for a long time. So long.”
“I still don’t know if I can make this work,” I admit looking down at her.
“Bit of a Hail Mary.” In my pocket, my phone buzzes, and I let go of her to dig it out.
Another text from Jonathan saying the deal will likely be announced in the next forty-eight hours.
They’re just hammering out some final items. “The reminder that I’m running out of time.
” I flash my phone at Sawyer. “I have to go.”
“Can I help?” she asks.
“No.” I kiss her forehead. “My agent is flying in, but ultimately, I get a yes or a no.”
“If it’s a no,” she says, clutching onto my T-shirt, “it might not have to be a ‘no’ for us.”
I search her face because I don’t want her to feel like she has to give up her life for mine. But it might come to that. I don’t know yet. “Might take me a day or two to sort this out one way or another,” I admit.
“If you need me, I’m here, and if you just need a bit of space to do whatever you need to do, that’s okay too.”
“I really love you, you know? Never knew I could love this much.” I kiss her forehead again. “Either way, I’ll be in touch.”
“Okay,” she says, following me to the door. “And if there is something I can do…”
Unable to resist, I press her against the wall beside the door and I kiss her, long and deep, a promise, a certainty. No matter what answer I get, we’ll figure something out. We have to. I can’t let her go.
At the gate to the palace, I poke my head out the car door. The fact that I got here on my own is some kind of miracle, but it’s late, and I’m not sure if I should have waited until the morning. Patience, once I want something, is not my strong suit.
Since I don’t know if King Alexander can or will help me, I didn’t want my driver gossiping about this visit.
Generally, he’s been good, but there have been a few leaks in the press about me or Sawyer that have made me wonder.
I’m not taking any chances when the outcome could change my life forever.
The security guard at the gate checks his watch. “You have an appointment?”
“Logan Bishop,” I say. “No appointment. I’m here to see King Alexander, if he’ll see me.”
“I’m assuming it’s an emergency at this hour.”
“Definitely a ticking clock,” I say.
“Heard you’re getting traded,” the guard says. “You’ll be missed. Put on a hell of a show on the ice.”
“You’re a fan?”
“Enough that I’ll risk the king’s ire to see if he’ll see you,” he says with a hint of a grin.
Then he holds a phone to his ear and turns away from me. I sit at the gates, willing them to open.
“You’re in luck,” the guard says. “King Alexander’s in a good mood. Queen Aurora’s starting to feel better, so that’s a good sign for his temperament. Good luck!”
The gates ahead of me swing open, and I inch along the long gravel drive toward the humungous, old building that I know overlooks the ocean during the daylight.
At night, it’s just a series of pretty lights and big trees dotted around the property.
Tennis courts. Basketball courts. A few walking paths that seem to be lit circling the grounds.
While it’s not the first time I’ve been here, it’s the first time I’ve paid much attention. The other times I’ve been here it’s been with Sawyer or for hockey events, and the place has been buzzing. It’s a lot easier to take in the scene when there’s no one else around.
I park in front of the door marked as the main entrance, and I climb the stairs. Before I get to the top one, the heavy door swings open.
“Is this about the trade?” King Alexander asks. “You know I’ve bowed out of the team.”
“You’re saying you don’t have any influence?”
King Alexander bristles. “No, I wouldn’t say that.”
“Then I’m here to make a deal for my life, for my happiness. I think there’s a way where everyone gets what they want, and the team is better for it.”
“Your life and your happiness?” King Alexander asks, a hint of an amused smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Bit dramatic, isn’t it?”
“I’m as serious as a heart attack, Your Highness. You’ve got both in the palm of your hand right now.”
King Alexander takes a step back and seems to be giving me a second, assessing look. “Is this about Sawyer Tucker?”
“It is,” I admit. “But it’s also about this island, this team. We’ve both got a lot of good to give, and if we leave this island, that goes with us.”
He releases a deep sigh. “I’ve been you, desperate for an outcome I didn’t think I could get, and I got lucky. Let’s see if you can get lucky too.” He steps back from the door and ushers me in. “Tell me how we all become winners.”