Chapter 30 Collie #2
I pivot on a swivel to face Berkley, knowing I’ll have Freddie cheering for me as the distance between us grows farther. “Berks, gonna need you to handle this.”
She nods with a grin. “Fuck off, Bates. My girl’s taken.”
And I rush to the quiet side of the bar, with a one-track mind to call my guy.
“Fuck. Collie. It’s so good to hear from you.”
If I were a girl whose insides melted, mine would be a liquid puddle on the floor.
“Hi,” I practically squeal. “Did I wake you?”
“Four hours behind, remember?” Easton chuckles.
“Oh my god. That’s right. I always forget.” I hear commotion going on in the background. He must be at dinner or something since it’s close to seven in Salt Hollow.
“Hey, one second. Let me step outside,” he tells me, and I let out a long exhale, head falling back against the hallway of the bar. Just hearing his voice again feels right.
“Okay. I’m back.”
“Cool.” I smile. “How was your day?”
“Fucking exhausting.” I can see him now, running his hands through his thick brown hair.
“Had a few transformer blowouts. And on top of that, I’ve had a new apprentice working under me all week that I’m training.
Well, get this. The kid dropped a fucking cross arm on a brand-new Mercedes from the air. ”
I gasp. “Noooo. What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. Ridge, on the other hand, lost his shit on the kid. We ended up just going in half to split the cost for damages because not only is the kid new, but that shit can get us fired. Easier to just eat the six grand.”
“Six thousand dollars’ worth of damages!”
He chuckles and dang it. I want to climb through the phone and hug him. “It had to be a Mercedes,” he chuckles.
“I’m so sorry,” I giggle, knowing nothing I say will solve that issue for them. That sucks.
“All good,” Easton laughs. “Tell me about your day.”
I walk to a seat in the corner of the bar, hoping it stays empty so I can talk to Easton without being bothered. I spot Freddie and Berkley, sending me a thumbs up and blowing kisses my way.
I love my friends.
“Oh, nothing that exciting. I went and looked at a few more buildings, just to narrow down my choices. I actually found the cutest one downtown that I think would work perfectly. The agent is gonna reach out to the owners for me and see if there’s any flexibility in the price.
So, it’s just a waiting game. And now, I’m at the bar with Berkley. ”
“Collie, that’s incredible. I’m so happy for you. I knew the right one would come along. And Berkley, that’s your friend from high school you mentioned before, right?”
“Yep! She’s really one of my only friends who still lives in Timber Heights.”
“I love that you still have her. You sound happy,” he tells me, and I love how Easton just knows how to gauge my feelings.
“I am happy,” I stammer a bit. I’m happy, but I’m also really fucking sad. “Almost had a pickleback shot tonight, but couldn’t do it.”
Okay, there it is. My first step in opening the door.
“No way,” he gasps. “They’re your favorite.”
“Not anymore,” I tell him, my voice coming out a whisper. “They were with you.”
“Collie. Baby. What’s wrong?” He called me baby.
My heart literally feels split in two right now.
“I just…” I stumble over my words, finding it hard to articulate these new feelings. “They remind me of us, and right now, that makes me sad.”
The other line grows quiet, and I honestly don’t know what to think or expect him to say.
“The other day, my buddy Suede went out on a date and ended up running into me and the fam at the same restaurant. He introduced us, but I couldn’t focus because the girl had on this thick cowhide jacket.
Physically, her jacket meant nothing to me.
Yet I couldn’t look at it without feeling sick to my stomach missing you. So, I know the feeling well.”
He misses me. Easton misses me as much as I miss him.
I never knew something as simple as cow print could matter to both of us the same way pickleback shots do.
Those little memories we share that, at the time, we had no idea would be a moment we look back on and feel gutted with loss.
Except, we’re still in each other’s lives. That’s the difference. There’s no permanent loss. We have the ability to prioritize each other.
“It’s really hard being away from you. Harder than I ever thought it would be. I’ve never missed someone before.”
I can feel his big genuine smile from across the country. “I know I shouldn’t, but I love that you’re missing me. It makes me feel less alone in my loss of you, lost girl.”
Is that weak knees I feel?
“Capri comes into town this week for her dress fitting,” I respond, not knowing how else to process his intimate declaration.
This is when I really wish my sister lived here. I’m horrible at this.
“Oh, I bet you’re exci—”
“Easton, we’re about to cut the cake.”
Wait, what? The hair on my neck rises, and bile threatens to spill from my throat. Was that…Sydney?
“Be right there,” Easton responds hoarsely, and the line grows silent.
“I’ll let you go,” I tell him, feeling myself crawl into a shell again. “I’m glad we got to talk, Ranger. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Yeah, sure,” he responds cautiously. “Talk soon, Collie. Sleep tight.”
I hang up the phone and close my eyes, stabilizing my overcompensating heart rate.
It’s okay. I’m okay. I know that was Sydney’s voice.
I’ve heard Palmer’s voice, and hers is much more raspy.
I also know nothing is going on between them.
But the jolt of jealousy that invaded my body just hearing another woman murmur his name made me ready to commit myself.
He’s my Easton.
But technically, he’s not. Yet, he feels like every bit mine where it counts.
All I know is I’m not the woman who gets jealous or runs just because I feel fear. But fear of losing Easton feels much different than fear of missing a call. Or forgetting about a shoe sale.
He’s my peace. At least, that’s the revelation I’m starting to see.
All I know is that I never want to feel like this again. I have some serious thinking to do. Who do I see Easton as in my life? Where do I see us ending up?
Am I ready to give myself to him and risk it not working out?
He misses me, and for now, that’s enough to bide me some time. Some comfort. Because there’s one thing I don’t need to process, and that’s my feelings for Easton Voss.
Now the question is…what am I gonna do about it?