Johnnie
NOW
My words clearly hit him where I intended. I know this probably isn’t where my mind should be, yet here we are. I’m quite literally fed up with this day, these past few weeks. The only thing that has brought me any sense of joy since Nan died is the man scooping me up from the tub.
His warm, broad, and solid arms wrap around my torso, hoisting me against him. Large, sturdy hands grasp beneath my thighs as my breasts press against the hard plane of his expansive chest.
Water drips from my body onto the tile floor like raindrops in a storm, quickly soaking into Collins’ clothes.
He strides across the bathroom, and just as we cross into the bedroom I lean down and claim his mouth, where he doesn’t hesitate to thrust his tongue in my mouth, hungry for connection. Starving for me as much as I am him.
The bedroom light is off, leaving us in nothing but the glow spilling from the bathroom.
His knees hit the bed and all the eagerness dissipates, turning to a calm tenderness, lowering me down to the mattress.
I sit here, completely bare and still slicked with remnants of the bath.
My toes rest on the floor, legs spread from being wrapped around him.
Collins stands there, staring down at me with fire in his eyes.
The spark is visible, even in the darkness.
Breathing in deep and quite audibly through his nose, he reaches behind him, pulling the collar of his shirt up and over his head in one swift move.
This man is beautiful, always has been. But time has been so kind to him.
Everywhere Collins was the boy I fell in love with, has been replaced with nothing but man.
The dips of his traps catch the dim light, shoulders rising and falling with the deep breaths he draws.
Apparently, manual labor does wonders for a man’s physique, because his chest and abdomen are just as chiseled as any gym devotee I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“You want one night, we’re gonna make it worth remembering. Got it?”
My hands rest flat behind me, slightly as a lean back a little, taking in the sight of him.
“This playing field is a little uneven, don’t you think?” My eyes travel to his jeans.
“You want me naked, Johnnie?” I can’t help but grin a little at his confidence and nod, heat simmering through me more than it has in years, maybe ever.
His hands move to the button of his jeans, popping it open before he slides the zipper down.
I catch the hint of a smirk tugging at his mouth as he toes off his boots and lets his pants drop heavily to the floor before stepping free of them.
That leaves him in nothing but a pair of tight dark boxers and socks.
“Lie down and scoot back.”
I do exactly as I’m told, without a second of hesitation.
Using the heels of my feet, I push myself farther up onto the bed as Collins lifts one knee to the mattress, settling it between my legs.
He leans slightly over me, reaching back to make quick work of tugging off his socks.
With a dramatic flick of his wrist, he tosses them across the room, eliciting a soft giggle from my lips.
The heaviness I’ve been feeling evaporates just enough to know I can have this moment, even if all the grief returns after.
Collins places a hand on each of my legs, his palms warm against my skin.
When his hands reach my knees, he presses gently upward, guiding them higher until my feet rest flat against the comforter.
His gaze drifts to the bare space between my thighs.
A rush of vulnerability moves through me, but not a single part of me feels uneasy beneath it.
Instead, there’s only a quiet trust settling deep in my chest.
“Spread your legs, John.”
I slowly run my hands from my hips, up my thighs, stopping at my knees, and open for him.
“Fuuuck,” he moans.
Pushing up from the bed, he straightens to his full height and hooks both thumbs into the waistband of his boxers. With a slow, deliberate motion, he slides them down his hips and steps out, letting the fabric fall carelessly to the floor.
Seeing him spring free is nearly my undoing. My breath catches, mouth going dry as I drink in every inch of him.
“I want to see you touch yourself. Can you do that for me, babe?”
When we were younger he didn’t talk like this—with so much self-assurance.
I try, and nearly fail, not letting my mind wonder about the experience he’s clearly gained since we slept together.
He wasn’t kidding when he said this was going to be memorable. Because we just got started and it’s already the best night of my life.
I bring a middle finger to myself, running it up then slowly down the slit he can’t take his eyes off. His length bobs in the space between us, and he grips himself, squeezing, then giving a few slow strokes, eyeing my movements with hooded eyes.
“I’m dying to taste you.” He lulls his head back, eyes still on me and steps closer, putting both knees on the bed this time and bringing his face to mine.
“Can I please taste you?”
I don’t respond with words, just reach up to press my lips to his, while spreading my legs as far as they’ll go and grabbing each of my breasts in my hands.
Collins moves from my lips to kiss my cheek, then my collarbone.
He quickly sucks at each nipple before kissing my stomach, tears suddenly prickling my eyes.
He luckily doesn’t notice as he makes his way down, pressing his hands to the inside of my thighs, making my knees fall, spreading me wide open right before he dips down, tasting me like he’s waited his whole life for this moment.
Maybe he has. This isn’t something we’ve done before.
Everything about this feels so much more erotic than anything we’ve experienced together in the past.
He licks and sucks with fervor as he brings his hands up to palm me, tweaking each nipple, and a scream rips through my throat at the sensation.
There’s a burst of air from his nose that brushes against my skin, and I feel the turning up of his lips, letting me know he’s proud of himself for getting such a reaction out of me.
I can’t help myself. My hands go to his head, fingers running through thick caramel hair and grasping the strands.
I pull his face tighter to me as I grind myself against him, hips thrusting uncontrollably.
He must like my eagerness judging by the hum of pleasure coming from him as he slides his hands under my ass, wrapping arms around my hips like he never wants to let me go.
The pressure of him so tightly to me, combined with my thrusting and his skilled tongue takes me over the edge with no warning.
Every ounce of oxygen leaves my lungs as wave after wave of pleasure rushes over me, heart fluttering and my whole body lighting with euphoria.
“Mmm, you’re the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
My eyes are still rolled back in my head, mouth grasping for air when I feel the coldness that comes with the absence of his warm mouth. I can barely open my eyes, but looking at him through slits I can see my pleasure glistening from his lips to chin.
Collins comes back up to his knees, gripping himself and stroking again, eyes glued to mine. It’s the most provocative thing I’ve ever seen.
“I want to be inside you so bad, Johnnie. I need it. There’s just one problem.”
My heart stutters at the thought of what he might say.
“I don’t have any condoms.” He sounds almost pained.
“I’m on the pill,” I say quietly. “And I’m clean. There hasn’t been anyone since Greg and I’ve been tested.” I wince slightly at my mention of another man, and I can tell it hits him harder than I intended.
“I’m clean too.”
I reach my hand toward him, wrapping a palm around his impressive length. He groans and throws his head back, pumping into my hand while I grasp tighter, feeling him harden even more under my touch.
Collins throws himself forward, hovering over me and presses lips to my forehead. He brings his lips to my ear and sticks out his tongue licking at my earrings before biting down gently, seductively on my ear lobe.
Then he whispers, “Is it okay? Are you sure you want this?”
I nod immediately.
He places both hands on each side of my face, touching his forehead to mine. I’m not prepared for what happens next. He stills, we’re head to head when his nose nudges mine. My mind goes back ten years instantly, and my eyes leak once again at the memory of young love.
He pecks my lips while simultaneously taking one hand to grip himself and guide his tip to my entrance.
When we slept together before, we always used condoms. Feeling his bare skin against mine has my want for this man bubbling over, more than ready again.
One hand grabbing my hip, the other with fingers laced through the hair at the top of my head, he gives one rough thrust up, and the intrusion of him has never been more welcomed.
A gasp leaves me, and at the same time he lets out something between a moan and a growl.
He doesn’t move, just remains still, fully inside, allowing us both to come down from the shock of whatever this immense ecstasy is that I know we both must be experiencing.
His mouth comes down to mine, sloppy, unrelenting as he starts to slowly move back out of me, then thrusting back in slowly, over and over.
So. Slow.
I can hear the filthy sound of our shared pleasure as he pumps in and out, nearly bringing me to the edge already.
“You feel even better than I remember, you feel like you were made for me.” His voice breaks with emotion causing my heart to smack my chest with a loud thud.
His movements pick up pace while he looks me straight in the eyes, and I suddenly wish there was more light, because I swear there’s a dampness to them.
He tightens his grip on my hair while pressing our lips together once more and brings a hand down between us, rubbing a thumb exactly where I need him.
He rubs slow circles on me at first. Then, faster and faster while moving inside with just as much speed.
Lips still fused together, and each of us fighting over the air between us.
That familiar surge of euphoric energy starts to wash over me just before he stills, squeezing his eyes shut, slightly jerking as I feel his warmth spill into me.
We both collapse, the strength draining from our limbs as the world slowly settles back into place. My mind feels hazy, floating somewhere between exhaustion and bliss—until a single thought crashes into my chest so hard it nearly steals my breath.
This could be the last time I ever get to experience a love like this.