Chapter 45
CHARLIE
My head is spinning and every nerve in my body is tingling with arousal and sensation by the time Myles pulls away to meet my eyes. Beneath me, I can feel his chest heaving and his heart pounding as his hands slide down from my back to cup the swell of my ass.
A whimper slips from me as he tightens his grip, massaging and exploring, using the leverage to drag our bodies together in maddeningly slow circles as he lifts and thrusts his hips to grind his dick over mine.
My fingers twist in his hair as I cling to him, wanting so badly to drop my lips back to his and lose myself in the feel and taste of his mouth, but I can’t make myself look away from the deep flickers of emotion and pleasure shining from his eyes.
“Charlie,” his breathless whisper trembles as it ghosts over my lips.
“Can I have this?” His fingers trace the crease between my cheeks through the thin-stretched material of my yoga pants, and just like that, my insides are molten with desire; burning me alive with the need for precisely what he’s just asked.
I’ve fantasized about this for far longer than I care to admit.
Dreamed about it. Specifically planned for it this afternoon.
But ohhhh, nothing could have prepared me for the reality of Myles’s lips skimming over the shell of my ear as he whispers, “I don’t think I can wait any longer to know what it feels like to be inside you. ”
“Ohmigod, yesss.” A blaze of arousal and anticipation rolls down my spine, making me squirm and gasp as my body arches against his, and I can barely make myself form the words to whisper back, “I want that too. So badly.”
He breathes out a moan, dragging me harder against him for a moment as he catches my mouth in a messy, frenzied kiss, and then we’re nothing but a tangle of hands and panting breaths as we undress each other, tugging and rolling as we strip away our clothes, unwilling to part for more than the moments it takes to whip our shirts off.
We end up with Myles on top of me, our naked bodies pressed together, kissing like our lives depend on the deep, thorough sweep of our tongues as we devour each other.
He grins at the whine I let out when he breaks away, a totally wrecked, gorgeous smile that plays every bit as much havoc on my heart as on my dick.
Next moment though, that grin falters slightly.
“You’ll tell me if I’m doing anything wrong?
Or if there’s anything I’m supposed to do that I’m not?
I know you don’t want me feeling like I’ll mess this up, and I don’t, but, I just,” his hands flex at my sides, fingers stroking over my skin.
“I—” he flushes, letting go of me with one hand to rub at the back of his neck.
“I read a few articles, but… I just don’t want to hurt you. ”
“Baby,” I tug his hand away, linking his fingers with mine as his words send warmth blooming through my chest. “First of all, I can’t decide whether you reading articles and worrying about this before it even happens is the hottest or the most totally melt-worthily sweet thing I’ve ever heard.
Second, you are not going to hurt me, Myles.
“You’re going to use these fingers,” I bring his hand up to my lips, kissing over his knuckles as his eyes shutter and his lips tremble around a soundless, fuuck, “to work me open so I’m ready for you. Can you do that?”
“Yeah.” He nods, tongue darting out to swipe over his lower lip. Between us, I can feel his dick twitch. “Fuck yes. Lube and condoms?”
“In there.” I point at the nightstand where, last week, I’d stashed a package of condoms alongside the lube I always keep there.
Instead of letting me go, he leans to the side, rolling me with him as he stretches to reach for the drawer, fumbling blindly until he settles back against me, bottle of lube and a strip of condoms clutched in his hand.
One deliciously languid kiss later, Myles pulls back, sitting on his heels between my parted legs, eyes raking over my body like he’s trying to commit this moment to memory.
The thought that, maybe, that really is what he’s trying to do makes my heart leap and thrill.
His jaw drops slightly, mouth going slack in a harsh breath when I hook my hands behind my knees and draw my thighs back toward my chest.
“Holy shit,” he breathes, almost reverently, dragging his palms from the sides of my hips to cup the cheeks of my ass in both hands.
The way his eyes move slowly over me has goosebumps breaking out along my skin, distracting me from the fact that his hands are no longer on me, and when he leans in to press a lingering kiss to the inside side of my knee, my entire body shivers at the softness of his lips paired with the rasp of his scruff.
The snap of the lube bottle lid sends another shiver through me, and my eyes dart down to watch him squeeze a generous drip onto the fingers of his right hand.
“One finger to start?” His dark gaze flicks up to meet mine in question, and I nod, heart pounding like it’s going to burst free of my chest, because this is Myles.
My breath catches at the first brush of his fingertip over my hole, and then, as one, we let out a slow, deep groan as he presses in; a gentle, smooth movement that has my body melting into the bed, welcoming him rather than tensing at the intrusion, like every part of me recognizes and craves him.
“Fuck, Charlie,” he breathes, staring down at the place where his finger is slipping deeper, pressing all the way to the last knuckle. “You’re so smooth and tight. Fucking hell, you feel so good.”
Heat rolls through my body at the desire and awe lacing his words. And the way he’s watching what he’s doing to me? Never in my life have I felt so wanted, and the fact that it’s Myles staring at me like this?
The awareness of his arousal is like a physical thing, licking over my skin, coiling down my spine, racing ahead of the pleasure of his touch as it lights up every nerve in me, and just like he doesn’t seem to be able to look away from me, I can’t look away from him.
Myles’s chest heaves as he lifts his gaze to blink at me, giving his finger an experimental curl as he drags it partway out. “Like this?” He slides it deep again, sweeping it in a slow circle that has my body arching into him, desperate for more.
Ohmigod—
“Just like that.” I have to reach deep inside to find those words. My mind is hazy, drunk on the ragged sounds of Myles’s breaths and the totally wrecked, dark eyed concentration in his expression.
His other hand finds mine where I’m still holding my leg back, fingers slipping in between mine.
When I give his hand a squeeze, the soft smile that spreads over his face has a prickle of tears gathering at the corners of my eyes.
Part of me is suddenly afraid of what it’s going to do to my heart to have his cock buried deep in me, his body moving over mine, as close as the two of us can possibly be.
No matter how frightened I am though, it’s all I want in the world at this moment.
Need blazes through me, making my inner walls flutter around his finger, aching for more. I need him to fill me and claim me, make me his for however long I can have him.
“Two now.”
Myles hears the sudden desperation in my voice loud and clear. It’s written all over his face as he nods, letting out a quiet whine as he tugs his hand out of mine, reaching for the lube bottle as he pulls out of me.
My body twitches at the cold drizzle of lube as he squeezes it over my hole.
His eyes track the movement of his fingers as he swirls them around, spreading the lube before slipping the tips of two against my opening.
There’s the slightest sting this time that makes me gasp as he sinks deeper, and I push into it, watching his face as he hungrily stares at the way he twists and thrusts his fingers in and out of me.
“Curl them forward. Just like—a little deeper—ohhh,” I moan, shuddering under his touch as he pulls back. “Ohmigod, so good, baby.”
“Right there?” His cheeks are blazing above the neatly trimmed scruff of his beard, and the look of pride in his dark eyes as my body shudders again is everything.
“Right there—”
He groans as I arch into his touch, his free hand slipping down from where he’d been using it to spread my ass wider.
I can’t see what he’s doing from my angle, but my imagination steps in, showing me an image of him squeezing himself, shaft hard and straining, his crown dark and needy as drops of pearly precum bead at the tip—
“Give me three now, Myles, please!”
The words leave me on something between a whimper and a cry, and there’s so much of me that just wants to tell him it’s enough, that I’m ready for him, but I know that if I don’t let him prep me properly, he’ll see that moment of pain in my face, and it will hurt him a hundred times more than any temporary (and totally worth-it) discomfort could ever hurt me.
And the wait is worth it just to see the heat that smolders in his eyes as his lips part on a whispered, “So fucking hot,” that makes my body jolt with a blaze of pleasure at his approval as he brings another fingertip to tease my rim.
He doesn’t bother with more lube this time. There’s already so much coating my hole and slicking my channel that he doesn’t need it.
My head tilts back with a groan when his fingers fill me. So full, but so totally not enough.
“Oh god, Charlie,” he breathes as I grind down against his hand, rocking myself into the stretch and fullness of his fingers.
His eyes are glazed and heavy-lidded, so dark they’re almost black as he leans in, blanketing my body with his as he crashes his lips to mine in a searing kiss that’s over nearly before it starts.
Before I can do more than whimper at the loss of him, he’s working his way down my chest and stomach, trailing open-mouthed, frantic kisses over my skin as his fingers pump in and out of me.
I’m more than ready for him now. My body is melting into the sensation of his careful yet relentlessly thrusting fingers as that ache that craves more; more fullness, more pressure, more him, builds in me.
I open my mouth to tell him, to beg him to replace his fingers with his cock so I can finally know what it is to have Myles Marlow, the man of my fantasies for fifteen years and the missing piece of my heart and soul, filling me in a way no other man will ever be able to do.
All I get out is a strangled gasp that turns into a desperate, whimpering moan as he wraps his soft lips around the dripping, throbbing head of my cock and sucks.
My legs fall over his shoulders as they slip free of my hands and my body arches up into the wet heat of his mouth. I can’t help it. The movement drives my length farther into Myles’s throat than he was expecting, and he gags around me, choking as I force myself to pull back.
“I’m sorry,” I gasp, stroking my fingers through his hair, trying desperately to tune out the rolling waves of pleasure crashing through me enough to make sure he’s okay, but he just keeps sucking and thrusting.
At my angle, I can’t really see his face, but I can feel him shake his head, drawing me deeper into his mouth again with a low, needy groan, telling me it’s alright. That he’s as desperate for this as I am.
“It was just—ohmigod,” my body jolts as he curls his fingers over my prostate again, more firmly and confidently than before. Warning tingles of pleasure flash through me as the building pressure and hot-throbbing tightness at the base of my spine spikes.
“Myles,” I tug gently at his hair, trying to slow my breathing as I feel it quickening in my chest. “Myles—”
Another tug and he pops off, lifting his head to show me his swollen, spit-slicked lips, his sweet, beautiful face so gorgeous that, ohmigod, how is this actually real?
He doesn’t stop the slow glide of his fingers though, and even without his mouth on me, I’m panting, totally unable to stop myself from rolling and grinding my hips down and into his touch.
“Baby…I’m getting…so close.”
“Good.” His cheeks heat as he casts me a breathless, half pleased, half apologetic smile, stroking his free hand lightly over the back of my thigh. “I need you close. There’s no way I’m going to last once I get inside you.”
A fresh bolt of sensation arcs through me at the moan coloring his words and the greedy, wrecked glint in his eyes as they drop back down to watch the way his fingers keep pumping in and out of me. And ohmigod, that he wants this so much and is so turned on by it that he’s saying he won’t last—
“Myles—” I’m whining. Shifting my hips and rocking into him. I don’t know anymore whether I’m begging him to take me in his mouth again and just make me come like this, or whether I’m begging for him to stop so I can finally feel him inside me.
I whimper when he sits back, pulling his fingers out of me with a whispered, “Holy fuck.”
My whole body’s trembling as I push up to watch him rip free a condom package from the strip lying on the bed beside us before bringing it up to his mouth to use his teeth to tear it open.
Is literally everything the man does unacceptably hot? But of course, I already know the answer to this.
The head of Myles’s cock is flushed and slick and dripping, and when he takes himself in hand, his eyes fall shut for a moment as a groan rips from his throat. Like he can’t stop himself, he strokes over his crown, squeezing before lining up the condom and rolling it down over his throbbing shaft.
Ohmigod—
I can’t wait another second.
Myles lets out a startled little grunt that turns into a breathless laugh and then a moan as I surge forward, toppling him backward onto the mattress to straddle him, hovering over his waiting dick.
“Need you.”
“I need you too,” he whispers, reaching up to stroke the backs of his knuckles down my cheek, and it’s like the world’s suddenly holding its breath, and it’s only Myles and me, caught in this moment that could stretch out for eternity.
Because his eyes are saying, I always need you. They’re saying, I love you.