Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Emily cracked the whip over the horses when she reached the edge of town. They began to gallop, moving as fast as they could. She shouldn’t be going so fast, but all she wanted to do was to get home to Ben.
Calming down, realizing that tears flowed down her cheeks, she slowed the buggy but kept the horses at a trot.
She took off her gloves and wiped the backs of her hands down her face.
She tied the reins around the brake handle to keep the tension.
Then she took the hanky from her sleeve, dabbed at her eyes and blew her nose.
If she quit crying now, she’d look fine when she got home. But she couldn’t seem to quit crying. Every time she thought about the baby, happy tears fell. When she thought about Ben not loving her, sad tears fell. By the time Emily reached home she was bawling.
She pulled the buggy to a stop in front of the house. She should have taken the horses to the barn but she couldn’t face the ranch hand who would be there. He could come get the buggy and take care of the horses.
Emily ran into the house.
Her mother-in-law was coming down the stairs as Emily came in.
“Where have you been? My son was looking for you.”
She swiped at her tears.
“Do you know where he is?”
“What’s the matter with you girl? Why are you crying?”
“Nothing and never you mind. Just tell me where Ben is?”
Doris frowned and narrowed her eyes.
“He’s at the barn. Probably getting ready to come looking for you.”
“Thank you.”
Emily whirled, lifted her skirt and ran to the barn.
“Ben,” she called as she entered. “Ben, are you here?”
He came out of one of the stalls, brows furrowed.
“Emily? Where have you been? I thought you were taking a short trip to the mercantile but you should have been back at least an hour ago.”
“I went to see the doctor.”
“Are you sick? You should have told me, I would have taken you.”
He came up to her and put his arm around her shoulders.
“What’s the matter? Why are you so upset?”
“I’m expecting.” She felt him tense.
“But that’s wonderful news. Is that what has you upset?”
“No. I’m thrilled. I couldn’t wait to tell you, but I ran into Melissa outside the doctor’s office and I don’t know what came over me.”
She stepped out of his embrace and paced in front of him.
“She has me upset. What is she still doing in town? She used to live in Denver. Did you know that? Of course, you did. When she didn’t marry you she should have gone back to Denver but she didn’t. Why? I’ll tell you why. She still wants you, even more now that you’re already married.”
“Emily. Calm down. You’re expecting a baby. That’s wonderful news. Let the rest go. Come here.”
He opened his arms.
She didn’t hesitate but ran into them, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Are you really happy?”
A little fear darkened her thoughts that since he didn’t love her…yet…that he wouldn’t love the baby.
He rested his head against the top of hers. “Of course. I’m thrilled. I’ve wanted to be a father for a while now. That was my motivation for getting married in the first place. To start a family.”
“You just thought it would be with Melissa. I understand.”
She felt the shift in his stance as he stiffened his spine and then relaxed it again.
“Emily, I did think my fatherhood would be with someone else, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m very happy that you are to be the child’s mother. You’re much kinder and I believe want this baby almost as much as I do.”
“More. This child means the world to me.”
“Me, too.”
“Then you’ll love the child?”
He hugged her a little tighter.
“Ah, is that what you’re worried about? Of course, I’ll love him or her. I do already. How could I not? He…or she…is a part of me, too.”
“But you don’t love me. I thought that might make a difference.”
“That fact doesn’t make any difference. I like you an awful lot, as much as I can like anyone.
But I just don’t know how to love you. I’m not sure what love is.
I thought I loved Melissa and I admit she hurt me when she jilted me.
I don’t think it’s possible to have those feelings again, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be married to you and have children with you. I do. Understand?”
She looked up at him and shook her head, her heart aching.
“No. Not really. But I accept your belief as something I can’t alter right now, though I do plan on changing your mind some day.”
“You can try, but I don’t see a transformation happening”
“That’s okay…for now.”
“Let’s go back up to the house. I want to tell Mother.”
She closed her eyes and frowned.
“Do we have to?”
“Go to the house or tell Mother?”
“Tell your mother. I don’t think the announcement will go as we think it should. She hates me.”
“She doesn’t hate you—she just doesn’t like you very much.”
They walked toward the house arm in arm.
“She hates me and wishes I were Melissa.” I wished she liked me. In my dreams I always had a mother who wanted me. Now not only did my real mother abandon me, but my mother-in-law would like nothing more than to put a stake through my heart..
“I don’t deny that she’s being difficult, but a new baby might make her less quarrelsome.”
“I doubt it. I bet the news will make her treatment of me worse.”
“How can it get any worse? She could start ignoring you completely I suppose.”
“That would be welcome. I can only hope that behavior is the result, and she leaves me alone instead of telling me how great Melissa would be at such and such.”
“She doesn’t do that.”
She turned to gape.
“How would you know? She doesn’t treat me badly when you’re around, only when you’re gone. Someday, sneak back in after you’ve left and you’ll see what I have to endure.”
“All right I will. Tomorrow I’ll leave through the kitchen as usual and come back in the front door. Then I’ll see exactly what you’re talking about.”
“That should do it.”
They continued to the house and went into the kitchen where they found Doris doing her ironing.
“Mother, we have some news for you.”
Her eyes brightened and she looked up.
“What is it?”
“Emily is expecting a baby.”
“Hmpft,” said Doris and continued with her ironing.
“I thought that would make you happy. You’ll have another grandchild.”
Doris put the iron down on the stove to heat.
“With her as the mother? I don’t think so. Now if Melissa were having your baby that would be something to celebrate.”
“That’s the end, Mother. I’ve told you again and again never to mention Melissa in this house. You will be moving out, Just as soon as I can get a house built for you. You can live with your hatred to keep you company.”
“No, Ben, please,” cried Doris. “I’ll be good. I’m sure I’ll like the baby. It is a part of you, too. Please don’t send me away.”
“It’s too late. I’m building the house, just as soon as I can.”
Ben and Emily left Doris crying in the kitchen.
“She’ll come around before she moves.”
“Are you really building her a house?”
“Yes, I will. It will probably be March before I can get it done, so she’ll have to live here until then.”
Emily nodded. “I understand. Are you still coming to see how she really treats me tomorrow?”
“Yes. I want to know.”
The next morning, when all the men were leaving for the day, Ben put his plan into action.
He acted like he would any other day.
He wrapped his arms around Emily and kissed her thoroughly.
“Goodbye, Mrs. Logan. See you at lunch.”
She sighed, smiled and stepped away.
“Goodbye Mother, see you at lunch.”
He kissed her on the cheek.
She smiled and patted his cheek.
“See you later, son.”
As soon as the door shut behind him, his mother turned on Emily.
“You get busy doing those dishes and clean this kitchen. I expect you to wash the floor on your hands and knees. I don’t give a fig that you’re expecting. If I’m lucky, you’ll die in childbirth.”
Emily ignored the dying wish. It was nothing new and shook her head. “But we have a mop. Why can’t I use that? You always do when you actually do anything.”
“Keep it up, Mrs. Logan.”
She spat the words like they were a curse and then sat at the table with a cup of coffee.
“When you’re done with the kitchen, you can finish the ironing I started yesterday. If you finish that you can clean the windows.”
“Why do you treat me this way? I’m not your slave.”
Doris went to Emily and stood in front of her toe to toe. She poked her in the chest.
“You think you have him wrapped around your finger, especially since you are in the family way, but he’s my son and he’ll always choose me over you.”
“You have that wrong, Mother.”
Ben stepped into the kitchen from the hall to the living room, the rugs making his footfalls silent.
His mother put her hand to her neck and stepped back from Emily.
“Ben. What are you doing here? I thought you were riding the range today.”
“I know what you thought. I didn’t believe Emily when she told me how poorly you were treating her. I had to see it for myself. I’m ashamed of you, Mother. You have no right to treat Emily like this. She’s willing to help you, but not to be your slave. Now, I expect you to apologize.”
His mother stood there with her mouth in a firm line and her eyes blazing as she stared at Emily and then pointed at her.
“You little witch. This is your fault.”
Ben stepped forward, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowed. “Mother!”
Doris cowered and looked at the floor, but her hands were in fists.
“I’m sorry I treat you poorly. I won’t do it again.”
Emily held her hands clasped in front of her.
“Thank you Doris. I appreciate the gesture.” The words don’t mean anything coming from you, but I’ll accept them in the spirit they are given, as the lie that they are.
Ben walked over to Emily.