Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Emily swallowed hard. She backed up just a bit and then held her ground.
“You’re wrong, Doris. Wrong about Ben. But then you were wrong about his father, too, weren’t you? You sent him into Ava’s arms with your denial of him.” She watched Doris’ face and saw her flinch. “That’s it. You denied him. That’s when he left, isn’t it?”
“We had two children. That was enough. I wanted no more.”
“What’s between a man and his wife is more than the begetting of children.
It’s closeness, understanding and being able to share everything.
You made him look for all of that in another woman’s arms. And then, when their love produced a son, you made him give her up or you would destroy that boy.
But he got you in the end. He left everything to Ben, knowing his son was a good, honest man. ”
“No. You’re wrong. You don’t understand. You love Ben. I never loved Joseph. Never. I could never love any man. You don’t know what my life was like before I married. The things that happened to me. I had no control, but now, Ben will listen to me.”
Doris picked up a knife from the counter.
“Nothing will keep my Ben from me.”
She plunged toward Emily, holding the knife above her head.
“No, Mother!”
Ben stood in the doorway from the living room, Rory behind him, the carpets in the hallway having muffled their footsteps.
Wild-eyed, Doris turned toward Ben.
“She must die. Nothing can come between me and you. You’re mine. Have always been mine.”
She blinked and a strange look came over her face.
“You’re father wanted to send you away to school. I couldn’t have it. Nothing will take you away from me.”
Emily backed away and ran into a chair at the table.
Doris heard the noise and turned her attention back to Emily. She ran at her.
Emily moved the chair to between them.
Ben ran forward and grabbed his mother from behind, pinning her arms to her sides.
Doris dropped the knife.
Rory picked it up.
She slumped against Ben and then dissolved into tears.
“No…no…no.”
Ben looked over at Emily.
“Are you okay?”
Emily nodded, not trusting her voice. Then she collapsed in the chair she’d put between her and Doris.
“Emily go upstairs—”
“I’m staying here.” She stood. “I have work to do. She didn’t hurt me. Take her upstairs and put her to bed.”
“Are you sure?” asked Ben. He cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows.
“I’m sure. Go.”
Ben helped his mother to her room.
As soon as he left, Emily sat again and put her head in her hands.
Rory sat down beside her.
“Yer allowed ta cry. You ain’t gotta be strong all the time.”
She sniffled.
“I’m not strong. I cry at the drop of a hat. I just couldn’t let her see me fall apart. Or Ben. I know that he would choose me over his mother, but she needed him now.”
“You’re damn right I’d choose you over her.”
Ben entered the kitchen.
“I took off her shoes, put her into bed and covered her up. She rolled to her side and gave me her back.”
Emily dabbed at her eyes with the hanky she kept up her sleeve.
“Maybe she’ll be better after she rests.”
Ben knelt in front of her. “It doesn’t matter.
What I see is that I can’t leave you alone with her any longer.
I’m building a room in the barn for her until I can get her a house built.
It’s either that or some asylum in another state and I don’t want to do that.
She’s still capable of taking care of herself. ”
Emily hung her head and studied her hands resting in her lap.
Ben took his knuckle and raised her chin until her gaze met with his.
“You mean too much to me to risk your life. From now on, until that house is built, either I or Rory will be here.”
She slowly shook her head.
“That’s ridiculous. I have work to do and I can’t be having you two under foot all day.
I won’t let her near anything sharp. I think I know why she has fixated on you.
While you were gone, she referred to you as Joseph.
I think she believes you are your father.
At least in her less than lucid moments. I don’t understand her mind set.”
“I don’t understand that either. I’ll take her to the doctor tomorrow. Maybe he can make sense of it.”
“I think I know,” said Rory. He leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest.
“I’m guessing she really changed when Papa began to see my mama.
She took all her love for him and turned it to you.
She couldn’t stand the thought that you would leave her like he did.
The thing I don’t understand is why she would be in cahoots with Melissa.
I understand my being in cahoots with Melissa.
She wanted to hire me to do a job for her, but what is Miz Doris getting out of it? ”
Ben stood, pulled a chair next to Emily and sat.
“I don’t get that part either,” said Ben.
“I think I do,” said Emily. “Melissa was a known enemy, one Doris had vanquished before. I’m new, someone she doesn’t know, and now that I’m expecting I’m even more of a threat to her control—”
“She didn’t control me.”
Emily patted him on the leg. My poor husband has no idea how much Doris controlled him.
“Her perceived control of you. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to find that she was behind Melissa’s jilting. If not behind it, she at least knew about it. I’d bet everything that I’m right.”
Ben pounded his fist in his hand.
“Damn! If you are right, then we still have to worry about Melissa and Mother, what they have planned together.”
Rory nodded.
“Melissa definitely wants Emily out of the way. She expects to marry you if Emily is gone. That’s what she hired me to do, but I’m not a killer. I’m really sorry and thankful you both can forgive me.”
“That is all in the past. As I told Ben when we married, I believe, what’s past is past. You are a part of this family now,” said Emily.
“I’ll do my best to make you proud of me,” he said to Emily, then looked at Ben. “Both of you.”
“I have no doubt. Now how will we stop Melissa?” asked Ben.
Emily paced the kitchen. Suddenly she stopped and her eyes widened.
“We have to send Rory back to Melissa. By now, she’s heard that I’m not dead and that Rory is here at the J Bar L. That kind of news travels fast because it’s the juiciest kind of gossip.”
“No one will believe that. Heck my hired hands are more loyal than that.”
“And if she knows I didn’t do it the first time why would she see me again?”
“You can convince her. Tell her that you were interrupted by Ben and couldn’t carry out the plan, but now you’re in the perfect position to do the deed.”
Ben shook his head.
“No. Absolutely not. I won’t risk your life, or Rory’s. When Melissa finds out that Rory is just leading her on, she might take things into her own hands—”
Emily walked over to Ben and stood in front of him. “Exactly. Then we have her. You and Sheriff Wayburn step in.”
Ben put his hands on her shoulders.
“I don’t know. What if something goes wrong? I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”
She cocked her head and smiled.
“That’s one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me, but nothing will go wrong. Rory will be there to protect me and I’ll have my Colt in my pocket, as well.”
She reached up and cupped his jaw.
He leaned into her hand.
“When do we do this?”
“We wait until she summons Rory. That could be a day, a week or month.”
“I think it will be sooner rather than later,” said Rory.
“Why do you say that?” asked Emily.
“Because I believe she has to marry and do so quickly or she wouldn’t have invited me to her bed. Forgive my blunt language, Emily.”
“She what!?” exclaimed Ben.
Ben was clearly upset and Emily wasn’t exactly sure she was happy about that reaction from her husband. Is he upset that she slept with someone other than him or that she was trying to cuckold him?
Rory walked over to Ben and put a hand on his shoulder. “Ben, I’d say you were saved when she decided to stand you up at the altar. I doubt very seriously she was a virgin then and she sure as heck ain’t one now. You might have been raising someone else’s child.”
Emily put her hands on her hips.
“What I’d like to know is why it matters whether she was or wasn’t. You didn’t marry her and you’re not going to. You’re my husband and I intend to keep you.”
Ben grinned and pulled Emily into his arms.
“Going to keep me, huh?”
“Yes. Even if you don’t love me, you’ll love our children.”
His grin faded, his grip on her relaxed and he lowered his arms.
“That’s right. Back to our problem. Melissa.”
“We don’t have a choice,” said Emily. “She’ll get in touch with Rory and then we’ll know what her plans will be. No one else can get close now that the first plot was foiled, she’ll have to contact Rory.”
“All right. Now we wait.”
Sunday, November 28, 1875
Emily stood in front of the full-length mirror she’d asked Ben to buy for her from the mercantile. She buttoned her dress down to her waist but couldn’t get the last two buttons closed.
“Damn,” she said under her breath.
Ben came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m fat. I can’t button my dress and I’ve let the seams out as far as possible.”
“We’ll have to take you to the dress maker or see if there are some at the mercantile.”
“I can’t even wear my corsets anymore.”
His hands covered her breasts and he grinned.
“I know.”
Irritated, she slapped at his hands and pulled away.
“Quit that, my breasts are tender and I need to get dressed so I can meet your sister.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you, I just like touching you. As to your dress, Jane doesn’t care what you wear.”
She shot him a frown.
“Ha. That’s how much you know about women.”
He held his hands out from his sides, palms up. “What? She doesn’t. I think I know my sister.”
She shook her head.
“I’m sure you think you do, but you don’t, trust me.”
“Fine. Try another dress.”
“I have one last garment to try. One of my ugly gray governess dresses. I kept one, because they are wool and I thought would be useful here.”
“Well it’s cold out today, so a wool dress is a good idea.”
She stepped into the dress, pulled it up and put her arms into the sleeves. She was able to close all the buttons but the time wasn’t far off that she wouldn’t be able to.
“There. How do I look?”
“You look beautiful, as always but you’re right about the dress.” He frowned. “It is ugly. Why would you wear such a thing?”
“To make myself as unattractive as possible to discourage flirtations by the master of the house. Except for the last house I was at, it worked quite well. Thank goodness his wife came along when she did.”
Ben’s hands balled into fists.
“If I’d known a man like that, I’d—”
“You could have done nothing just as I was unable to do anything.”
Emily took one of his hands in hers, smoothed out the fist and entwined their fingers.
“But that sent me to you, so I can’t wish it never happened.”
“I suppose there is that, but that still doesn’t excuse him and if by some chance we ever run into him, you have to tell me so I can belt him for you.”
“Since it is highly unlikely we shall ever cross paths with him, I will make that promise to you. How long will it take us to get to Jane’s?”
“About two hours. Their place is just on the other side of Golden. Are you ready to go?”
She gave a final check in the mirror.
“Yes. Have you talked to Rory? Is he ready?”
“I’ll go check on him now.”
He let go of her hand and turned to walk away, then stopped, and came back.
He cupped her face with his hands and set his lips on hers in a gentle kiss.
“You look beautiful, even in your gray dress, even though it is ugly.”
He kissed her again, then released her and walked away.
She let out the breath she’d held and breathed in the fresh air. Surely he couldn’t treat her so if he didn’t love her. Emily had thought he would tell her he loved her, when he cradled her face with his hands, but he hadn’t.
What was she to do? Could she live in a home without love?
Or does she even know what love is. If he told her he loved her how would her situation be different?
Doesn’t he show her love every day, the way he holds her, the way he kisses her, holds her hand and holds her after making love? Aren’t those the things that matter?
Emily had a lot of thinking to do before she made any rash decisions about her, no their, future.