Chapter 33
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— Colt —
The meeting with Dutch had been early and brief. By nine I was back on my bike with nowhere I needed to be, but the destination already in my head.
I told myself I was just checking in.
Betty answered the door in her coat, keys in hand. “Boys are at school. I have errands.” She stepped past me without breaking stride. No smile, no instruction. Just Betty moving through her day.
I found Lilac in the kitchen, both hands wrapped around a mug, looking out the window. She turned when she heard me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.” She set the mug down. “I was hoping you’d come by.”
“You could’ve texted.”
“I know.” She looked at me for a moment. “I needed to see if I still felt the same this morning. In the daylight. After I’d had time to process.” She paused. “Without your mouth on mine making it hard to think straight.”
I stayed where I was.
“I do,” she said. “Feel the same.” She crossed the kitchen and stopped in front of me. “I told you I wasn’t ready last night. I think I was wrong. I think I was ready and just scared of how ready I was.” Her hand came up flat against my chest. “I’m not scared anymore.”
I kissed her. God help me, I couldn’t hold back another second. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her.
She kissed me back. Her arms wound around my neck, her body pressed against mine.
When we finally broke apart, both of us breathing hard, I rested my forehead against hers.
“I love you,” I said. “I’ve never stopped loving you. Not for one second of these seven years.”
“I know.” She smiled—that smile I’d spent seven years trying to forget. “I remember.”
“What else do you remember?”
Her smile turned mischievous. “I remember that you were very, very good at certain things.”
Heat shot through me. “Lilac—”
“The boys won’t be back for hours.” She pulled back slightly, her eyes dark with want. “And I’ve been waiting what feels like a very long time to remember this part.”
I should have been a gentleman. Should have suggested we take it slow, make sure she was ready, give her time to process everything.
But I was only human. And my wife was looking at me like she wanted to devour me.
“Bedroom?”
She took my hand and led me down the hallway, pushing open a door to reveal a small room with a neatly made bed and morning light filtering through lace curtains. The moment we crossed the threshold, I pulled her back against me, my mouth finding the curve of her neck.
“I’ve dreamed about this,” I murmured against her skin. “Having you in my arms again.”
She turned in my embrace, her fingers working at the buttons of my shirt. “Then stop talking and show me.”
I helped her with the buttons, shrugging out of the shirt and tossing it aside. Her hands immediately went to my chest, palms flat against my skin, and I watched her eyes darken as she traced the new tattoos she didn’t remember.
“This one’s new.” Her fingers found the ink over my heart—a small lilac flower I’d gotten three years ago, drunk and devastated on our anniversary.
The morning after, I’d thought about covering it. Never got around to it. I still had Lilac’s name on my chest. Usually that was the first thing a brother did when an old lady left—cover her name, her flower, whatever mark she’d put on you. I’d never gotten around to it.
I’d never wanted to. Never questioned why.
“Couldn’t let you go. Even when I hated you, I couldn’t let you go.”
She rose on her toes and pressed a kiss to the tattoo, her lips soft and warm. The tenderness of it nearly undid me. “Lilac.” Her name came out rough, desperate. “I need—”
“I know.” She pulled back just far enough to grab the hem of her shirt and pull it over her head. “I need it too.”
Fuck. She was beautiful. Fuller now than she’d been before the boys, softer in places, and somehow even more perfect. I reached for her, hands spanning her waist, thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts through the lace of her bra.
“You’re staring,” she whispered.
“I’m memorizing.” I walked her backward toward the bed. “In case I wake up and this was all a dream.”
“Not a dream.” She sat on the edge of the mattress, looking up at me. “I’m real. This is real.”
I knelt in front of her, my hands sliding up her thighs, pushing her skirt higher. “Then let me worship you the way I should have been doing for the past seven years.”
Her breath caught as I pressed a kiss to her inner thigh. Then higher. Her fingers tangled in my hair as I hooked my fingers in her underwear and pulled them down, revealing her to me.
“Colt—”
“Let me.” I looked up at her, holding her gaze. “Let me make you feel good, baby. I’ve been dying to taste you again.”
She nodded, her chest heaving, and I lowered my mouth to her.
The sound she made—a broken moan that ended in my name—was the sweetest thing I’d ever heard.
I licked into her, slow and deliberate, relearning every sensitive spot I’d memorized years ago.
She was wet and sweet and perfect, and the scent of her arousal—musky and feminine and her—made my head spin.
When I sucked gently on her clit, her thighs clamped around my head.
“Oh god. Oh god, Colt, I—”
I didn’t let up. Worked her with my tongue while I slid two fingers inside her. Her hips bucked against my face, her fingers pulling my hair hard enough to sting, and I loved every second of it.
“I’m going to—” She gasped. “Colt, I’m—”
“Come for me, baby. Let me feel it.”
She shattered with a cry, her whole body trembling, her inner walls clenching around my fingers. I worked her through it, gentling my touch as the waves subsided, pressing soft kisses to her thighs.
When I finally pulled back, she was sprawled on the bed, chest heaving, eyes glazed.
“That was…” She laughed breathlessly. “I definitely remember that now.”
“Good.” I stood, working at my belt. “Because we’re just getting started.”
Her eyes tracked my movements as I stripped off my jeans and boxers. When I stood before her naked, her gaze traveled down my body and her tongue darted out to wet her lips.
“I remember this too.” She sat up, reaching for me. She wrapped her hand around my cock, stroking slowly, and I had to grit my teeth to keep from embarrassing myself. “I remember how you felt inside me. How you’d fill me up until I couldn’t think straight.”
“Keep talking like that and this is going to be over very quickly.”
She grinned—that wicked, playful grin I’d fallen in love with—and stroked me again. “We’ve got hours. We can go more than once.”
I growled and pushed her back onto the bed, covering her body with mine. “Careful what you wish for.”
“I know exactly what I’m wishing for.” She wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me closer until I was pressed against her entrance. “I want my husband inside me. Now.”
“Protection?” The word came out strained—being this close to her and not inside her was its own kind of torture.
“I’m on the pill. Have been since the boys.” Her hips tilted up, seeking. “Now stop being responsible and take me.”
I pushed into her slowly, savoring every inch, watching her face as her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted on a moan. Seven years, and she still felt like home.
“Lilac.” Just her name, nothing else. “God, I missed you. I missed this.”
“I’m here.” She cupped my face, pulling me down for a kiss. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
But even as she said it, the fear came back. What if something took her from me again? What if this was temporary? What if I woke up tomorrow and she was gone? “Promise me.” The words tore out of me, desperate. “Promise me you won’t leave. That I won’t lose you again.”
Her eyes opened, meeting mine, and I saw my own fear reflected back. “I promise,” she whispered. “But you have to promise too. No more secrets. No crazy missions.” Her eyes searched mine. “I know you, Colt. Maybe not everything but I know you.”
The lie formed on my tongue—I promise—but I couldn’t say it. Not when I knew what Dutch and I were planning for Death’s Head.
She saw my hesitation. Her eyes went flat. I felt her start to pull away even as our bodies stayed joined.
“Colt—”
“I’ll come back to you.” I kissed her. “Whatever happens, I’ll always come back to you.”
The tension left her face, her eyes softening—relief, plain and open. I started to move—slow, deep strokes that made us both gasp. She matched my rhythm, her hips rising to meet each thrust, her nails raking down my back.
“Faster,” she breathed. “Colt, please—”
I gave her what she wanted. Drove into her harder, faster, the bed creaking beneath us. She moaned with each thrust, her head thrown back, her body arching up to meet mine.
“You feel so good.” I was losing coherence, losing control, losing everything except the feel of her around me. “So fucking good, baby. I never—I never forgot how good—”
“I know.” She pulled me down, her mouth finding mine. “I know. Me too. I feel it too.”
We moved together like we’d never been apart. Every touch landed somewhere it mattered, every kiss desperate and deep. I could feel her building toward the edge again, her inner walls starting to flutter around me.
“Come with me.” I slid a hand between us, finding her clit, circling it with my thumb. “I want to feel you come while I’m inside you.”
“Colt—” Her voice broke. “Oh god, I’m—yes, there, right there—”
She broke around me, her whole body trembling. The feel of her clenching around me pulled me over the edge with her. I buried myself deep and let go, spilling into her with a grunt.
We stayed locked together for a long moment, neither of us willing to break the connection. Finally, I rolled us so she was sprawled on top of me, her head on my chest, our bodies still joined.
“I love you,” I said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” She tilted her head up to look at me. “I remember loving you before. But this—what I feel right now—this is new. This is ours.”
I heard it in her voice. “You scared?” I asked.