Vibrations
COLT
“All right, y’all.” Dad takes his seat at the head of the table and raises his glass. “Since we have a special guest joining us tonight, I’d like to make a little toast.”
Because the universe is out to fuck with me, Lainey ends up almost directly across from me at the table. Her gaze glitters when it meets mine, like she knows I’m on the struggle bus.
Like she knows I’m warring with myself. Part of me is determined to dislike her. Another part finds her fascinating, and now I’m hell-bent on putting together the pieces of her puzzle.
Help. Why? Maybe I do need to get out. Get laid. It’s not like me to simmer like this.
“Lainey, we are truly thrilled to have you here. Thank you for coming all this way to help us out. As part of the legacy Paige and I will be leaving our children, this rebrand is something we’ve wanted for a long time.
” He gives me a meaningful look. “My wife and I want to make sure we’ve done everything in our power to ensure the ranch remains successful for generations to come. ”
It’s all I can do not to roll my eyes. I want that too, Dad. I’m a father too, so I want more than anything to see the ranch thrive. But a rebrand is not at all necessary for that to happen.
It’s not at all important.
Really, though, why can’t I just…I don’t know, let Lainey do her thing and ignore her until she leaves? She won’t be here forever. And if Dad wants to waste money, that’s on him. He’s got plenty of it.
But for whatever reason, I can’t ignore this woman. She bothers me. This whole thing bothers me. And while I can tell myself that it’s because she’s a threat to our traditions, our legacy, I’m not sure anymore if that’s the whole truth.
Which invites the obvious question: What is the real reason I can’t let well enough alone?
“I’m honored to be a part of that mission,” Lainey replies with a smile. “I just hope I can do y’all’s incredible family justice. I’ve got some pretty juicy ideas, and now that I’ve got Dean’s help—”
“I can’t wait!” He’s sitting next to her because of course he is. “We’re going to draw cowboys.”
“And hopefully some cowgirls too?” Billie asks.
Lainey gasps, turning to Dean. “I think that could work.”
“That could definitely work.” The boy has stars in his eyes. It’s sickening…but also kind of cute.
“To cowboys and cowgirls.” Dad raises his glass even higher. “Maybe we’ll even make Lainey one before her time on the ranch is up.”
“Hear, hear.” Tate wears a shit-eating grin as he taps his glass to mine. “We could always use an extra pair of hands. Ain’t that right, Mr. Foreman?”
I choose to ignore my brother and instead gulp more water. Hydration is the key to health, right?
“Now, Lainey,” Dad says as he digs into his pot roast, “we have a little tradition at the dinner table—”
“Thorns and roses! Please please please, can I go first? It’s my favorite game to play.” Dean raises his hand. “I got a good one.”
Lainey is still all smiles. “I like to play games too.”
I bet you do.
“You’ll love this game. It’s so fun,” Dean replies.
Mom chuckles. “Of course you can go first. Tell us what your thorn this week was.”
“A thorn is the worst part of your week—something that made you sad or that was bad,” Dean explains.
“Right.” I scoop some grits into my fork. “Because talking about that stuff makes us feel better.”
I feel Lainey’s eyes on me when she says, “Opening up is always a good thing. Some of us could probably use some more practice doing it, though, huh?”
Mack cackles. A literal fucking cackle.
I’ll stab you, I tell him with my eyes.
I’d love to see you try, he replies with his as he goes to town on his salad.
“My thorn this week was…” Dean puts a finger on his chin and ponders this for a minute. “Probably not being able to cowboy enough. School takes up so much of my time.”
“Quite the pickle,” Lainey says with a smile.
“But you do love school,” I say.
“Yeah, I love school. I just love to be a cowboy too.”
Nash shakes his head. “The struggle is real, bro.”
“Bro, I know.” Dean turns to Lainey. “Then my rose was meeting Lainey. She’s really nice and super pretty, and we are going to draw with markers together and also play with my LEGO bricks.”
“Aw, thank you, Dean,” Lainey says with a laugh, her cheeks turning pink. “You’re very kind to say that. I can’t wait to hang out more.”
He wiggles in his chair as he munches on a carrot. “Maybe tomorrow?”
“You have school tomorrow, buddy,” Billie replies. “It’s Monday, remember?”
“Maybe another day, then,” Lainey says.
“Fine.” Dean’s glum little face makes my chest contract. “Can you go next, Lainey?”
Because she’s back to being annoyingly perfect, Lainey doesn’t miss a beat.
She wipes her mouth on her napkin and clears her throat.
“Sure. My thorn…hm.” Her head swivels in my direction.
“My thorn would be the storms that come barreling through here without warning. Y’all have some wild weather around here. ”
“So does Dallas,” I reply.
“I wouldn’t know, because I’m not from Dallas.”
“She’s from heaven,” Dean says dreamily. “Stop teasing her, Dad. Gosh.”
I do not blush. But for the first time in…a long-ass time, I feel heat creeping up my neck into my face.
Nothing like being shamed by your six-year-old son.
I also wonder if Lainey feels sorry for Dean. Is that why she’s being so kind to him, because she somehow found out his mom is gone? Or is she just…genuinely like this? Warm and friendly and generous?
I have a hard time believing that, though. I hate this girl for a reason. I just gotta wait for her to prove me right. Because chances are Lainey isn’t different from the bullshitters I’ve encountered. She’s just smoother. Better at faking it.
“Anyway.” Lainey clears her throat. “My rose was definitely getting to meet all of you. Oh! And petting Big Brother.”
“You got to pet Big Brother?” Dean cries. “Do you know I named him?”
Lainey lifts her brows. “You did?”
“Yup. My mom is in heaven—that’s where you’re from, remember?
—so my dad can’t give me any more brothers or sisters.
I figured I’d make the horses my brothers instead.
Big Brother was born first, and he’s my dad’s horse.
Little Brother was born second, and he’s my horse.
That way, we have our own family. It’s not as big as Dad’s, but at least I get to pretend like I have real brothers. It’s pretty cool.”
Lainey blinks and blinks again. The table is quiet for a full beat.
Abby’s been gone for three years, but I don’t think any of us knows how to talk about her death yet. I know I tiptoe around it because I don’t want to upset Dean.
“That’s very sweet,” Lainey says at last. “And clever. Bet your mom is so proud of you and looking down from heaven.”
A catch in my chest. Lainey is saying the right things. What takes me off guard, though, is how earnestly she says them. This is no bullshit bless your heart. This is heartfelt.
Wait, is she different?
Is she for real?
Because there’s this sadness in her eyes as she looks at Dean…
I don’t know. It makes me wonder what the deal is with her own family. Her relationships at the very least. Which seems kind of random, but I get the feeling that there’s something not great happening there.
Stop thinking about Lainey’s family.
Stop thinking about Lainey, period.
“Yup. Mom is proud of me,” Dean says. “I know, because I saw her in the sunrise this morning.”
I gulp my water for a different reason this time.
Lainey’s eyes are on me again. My face burns. I don’t want her sympathy. Or her judgment. I want to get the fuck out of here as quickly as possible.
Why is there this funny, warm feeling inside my chest? Is that burning too? No, this feeling… It’s kinda good. And weird. And so foreign I can’t name it.
I certainly don’t trust it.
Supper lasts forever. I breathe out a sigh of relief when Mom gets up from the table, signaling the meal is over.
Lainey gets up too and immediately starts to gather up plates and silverware.
Mom stops her with a hand on her arm and shakes her head. “Whoever helps cook doesn’t clean up.”
Lainey’s brows pop up. “Really? But I’m happy to help—”
“I’m sure you are.” Dad takes the pile of dishes out of her hands. “And we appreciate that. But this is one rule we insist you follow. Now go relax.”
Lainey stares at him like he has two heads. “Can I at least—”
“No,” Mom and Dad say in unison. They smile at each other across the table.
“Y’all deserve a rest,” Dad says. “Put your feet up. Lainey, I hope you’ll stay awhile.”
Lainey’s eyes catch on mine. My heart hiccups at the uncertainty I see there, tinged with something like happy surprise.
My family ain’t perfect, but we do take care of each other, I wanna tell her. Now please leave.
Lainey does leave. But instead of walking out the front door, she follows Mom to the couch. Beck and Tate clear the table. Billie and Nash wipe down the stove and countertops. Mack is rearranging the contents of the fridge to make room for leftovers.
Dean and I roll up our sleeves and get on dish duty. My heart swells as my son climbs up on his stool and helps me scrub dishes. He even helps load the dishwasher, smiling proudly after he’s able to fit all one hundred of our plates, forks, and cups in the racks.
“Now that’s one fine job, Dean.” Dad is bending down to take out the trash. “Your daddy taught you well, huh?”
Dean wipes his hands on a towel. “Dad says you do it right or you don’t do it at all. Plus, it’s kind of fun. Like a puzzle, trying to fit it all in the dishwasher.”
Like a puzzle, trying to figure out Lainey Brown.
“Or like building something with LEGO bricks,” Lainey says from her perch beside Mom in the family room. They’re sipping more wine. “Takes some real brainpower, but it’s super satisfying when it comes together.”
Mom’s cheeks are flushed. “Y’all really do have to get together, then!”
My first thought is hell no.