Chapter 30
Because I love you.
The words Hetty had never, ever, expected to hear played on a seemingly endless loop in her head. And all the while as she made her way rather laboriously back to the car, she was aware that Spence was right there. Not forcing his help on her, but right there just in case.
A bit of rueful self-understanding went through her mind.
Nobody knew better than Spence how irritated she got when people insisted she needed help she didn’t need.
She’d certainly snapped at him more than once for his assumptions she couldn’t handle something herself.
But after how attentive he’d been since she’d been hurt, how—face it, girl—how sweet he’d been, she realized it was just who he was underneath the carefree exterior she now knew was a shield of sorts between himself and those who might judge him for that brain quirk he’d been born with.
Despite the effort with the crutches on this uneven ground, she kept smiling. She couldn’t seem to help it.
Because I love you.
Why wouldn’t she be smiling, after that?
She was a little puzzled by his demeanor after the words had come out.
He’d seemed to be…she wasn’t sure what to call it.
She was only sure that, unlike most people would be, he wasn’t waiting to hear her say the words back to him.
In fact, he’d acted almost as if he didn’t want her to say it.
As if what he’d said didn’t change…well, everything.
Hetty gave herself a mental shake. She needed to remember the news Officer Reynolds had just dropped on them; that not only had that man been a hired killer, he could now be after them.
She wanted desperately to believe he truly had gone back to where he’d come from, never to darken Alaska’s door again, but as Reynolds had said, Did they want to risk their lives on a maybe?
Spence was so quiet on the drive back toward his folks’ house she couldn’t help wondering if he was regretting what he’d blurted out. Was that why he hadn’t pushed her to say it back to him? Had it come out of some emotion, some weak spot in his armor that he now regretted?
“Are you okay for a bit longer?” he suddenly asked. “I need to stop by the office.”
“Fine,” she said. “I’d like to see Lakin, if she’s there.”
“She’ll be there. Place would fall apart without her.”
She hesitated then said, “I’m going back to your parents’ place. You’re not really going to cancel all your upcoming jobs, are you?”
He gave her a sideways glance. “No. I can’t really. Parker’s covering, but he can only do so much alone.”
“I know.” She sighed. “Even your dad and uncle are having to come back to work.”
She heard him chuckle and looked up, startled. “How’s it feel to know it takes two grown men to replace you?”
She couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. “Hey, and you,” she said. “You’ve been too busy taking care of me.”
He shifted his gaze back to the road as they neared the turn to RTA. “Mutually exclusive,” he said.
“What?”
“I can’t be too busy if I’m taking care of you.” His voice sounded a little gruff, as if he were trying to be his usual smart-mouthed self and failing.
Hetty felt a stinging in her eyes and blinked rapidly to hold back the welling tears. She swallowed past the tightness in her throat, thinking oddly that while she’d been brought to tears by pain a couple of times in therapy, the difference was unmistakable.
When they arrived, Spence was right behind her as she maneuvered up the three steps to the entrance to RTA.
Not beside her, as he’d been before, but behind her, no doubt figuring if she fell, it would be backward.
But he didn’t, as he once had, offer to just lift her up, nor did he take her arm to steady her; he let her make the short ascent herself.
“Liz said I wasn’t helping you by…well, helping you all the time,” he said when they were on the porch, as if he felt an explanation was required.
“I know. I have to do as much as I can by myself, even if having to go so slow drives me nuts.”
He did open the door for her and hold it, but she quickly decided that wrestling with a big, heavy, wooden door while hanging on to her crutches and keeping her balance was a three-way battle she wasn’t quite ready for.
Besides, he’d do that for anyone. He was just…
polite. She’d seen him do it recently, when he’d held the door to Roaster’s open for Mr. Harper from the hardware store, who’d had his hands full.
That had been—was it really only two weeks ago today, on the Fourth of July?
It seemed like it should be much longer ago, so much had happened since.
And he was kind. Like when he’d comforted that little boy whose dog had been lost, and in fact had found the critter a couple of blocks away.
And thoughtful, as he’d proved when all her favorite foods had showed up in his mother’s kitchen.
And she had been too wrapped up in sniping at him for flirting with clients to notice.
Too busy doing that to realize that it was all a cover.
A protective front. She had the feeling she’d underestimated the amount of mockery and teasing he’d likely undergone in school before they’d had that breakthrough.
She’d always thought he hadn’t wanted to go to college because he’d already known his future was with RTA. But maybe part of it had also been that he’d had enough school to choke on. And she couldn’t really blame him. After all, she’d chosen her own path, too, forgoing college for flight training.
The thought made her smile. Maybe they were more alike than she had ever realized.
She’d had her own kind of protections in place in school.
She’d always known she got second glances because of her mixed heritage.
More even than Lakin because, as an Inuit, her ancestors were at least native to the area.
But Hetty’s grandfather had been the first of her family born here, a few years before Alaska had become a state in 1959, and the fact that she was a third-generation Alaskan had always been her armor against anyone who made unwise comments.
Honest questions were fine, it was the smart-mouths she took off at the knees.
Spence had just closed the door behind them when Lakin came out of the back office into the lobby area. She spotted them immediately.
“Hetty!”
Lakin ran toward them with her arms extended, as if she were going to throw them around her.
Hetty saw the moment when she realized that might not be a good idea—Had that been Spence making that low “ahem” kind of sound?
—and she slowed down. When she was close enough, Lakin reached out and gave her a gentle hug, quite a difference from the high-speed collision it could have been.
Which could have been disastrous for Hetty.
“It’s so good to see you here,” Lakin exclaimed. “We’ve all been so worried, and we’ve missed you so much.”
Hetty smiled widely. She’d missed the long talks she and Lakin always had. And she sent out a mental jab to her brother to quit taking this wonderful person for granted and put a little—no, a lot—more effort into the relationship. Because she wanted this sister of the heart to become one for real.
“I’ll just be in the office while you two catch up,” Spence said rather diplomatically. And he looked a little stunned when his cousin spun around and gave him the more enthusiastic hug she’d almost knocked Hetty over with.
“Thank you for taking such good care of her, Spence.”
“I’m not—”
“Hush,” Hetty said to him, startling him anew. “You are and you have.”
And she thought the combination of his embarrassed expression and the heat that flashed in those gorgeous blue eyes of his was the most wonderful thing she’d ever seen.
When they were alone, Lakin ushered her to the seating area in the lobby.
Hetty took one of the armchairs across from the sofa, since the seat was higher and it would be easier for her to get up.
Lakin sat on the edge of the coffee table, as if she needed to be closer to her.
Hetty noticed, and felt a renewed rush of the warmth she always felt toward this friend she so much wanted to be family. Yes, Troy better get his act together.
They talked about that for a bit, but not long since it was old ground they’d been over many times.
Then Lakin caught her up on the doings at RTA, including how they’d rented a floatplane temporarily until the one she normally flew was fully repaired, and how her dad was saying after only two weeks of filling in that they needed to give Hetty a raise.
Hetty laughed at that. “They just gave me one six months ago. A healthy one, too.”
“They want you happy and staying,” Lakin said fervently. “Even more now that we’re limping along without you.” A grin flashed across her face. “And with you.”
“I’ll be back soon, I swear.” And that’s to myself as much as anyone. No matter how much it hurts, I’ll push through.
Lakin glanced at the closed office door then back to Hetty. “Maybe, in the end, this will have been a good thing.” Hetty blinked and Lakin went on hastily. “I mean you and Spence… I’m not imagining things have changed between you, am I?”
“I…no. Not, you’re not.” Somehow admitting it out loud to Lakin made it even more real to her.
Her friend hesitated, but Hetty could tell by her wrinkled brow she was on the verge of saying more.
“Out with it, girlfriend,” she said.
“I just… I know it’s none of my business, but you’ve always been there for me about Troy and…
” Hetty stayed silent, knowing Lakin would get there.
And when she did, it came out in a rush.
“You’re sure it’s not just…what happened?
I know crazy feelings can happen when you go through something like that together.
And my brother Eli has talked about how all that danger, and tension, and the rush of relief when you survive can skew your thinking and your emotions. ”
Hetty stared at her friend. “You think…it’s not real?”
“Oh, no, and I hope it is!” Lakin took a deep breath. “I’ve always thought there was something else behind all the annoyance and the little jabs you fired at him. I just don’t want either you or my cousin hurt.”
Hetty leaned forward, ignoring the tug from her leg, until she could take Lakin’s hand in hers. “My brother is a very lucky man. And he’d better wake up darn soon or my next therapy exercise is going to be to kick his butt.”
Lakin laughed and could barely stop to say, “I want to watch that.”
“I’ll be selling tickets,” Hetty promised.
Yes, she was going to be having a long talk with Troy when he finally got that butt she was going to kick off that oil rig.