Chapter 5 #2
She left Marg’s office, and since she had more time off and it was one of those clear, cold winter days, she drove to the park to go for a walk.
She hadn’t been outside much with the snow and slushy weather.
Using the baby carrier that strapped around her chest, she nestled Gracie close to her body, making sure they were both bundled for the cold.
Fern’s story had really stuck with Ava. It was odd how a person could go through life making their plans and routine and have it all taken away in one moment.
Fern’s life really didn’t sound much different to Ava’s own.
Except she had her family that she saw once a week or more, depending on what everyone had going on.
Thinking about it made her feel a bit paranoid. There were other people in the park, and she didn’t notice anyone staring at her. Mostly it was moms and preschool-aged kids and a few adults sitting on the benches.
Nothing to really cause concern, but she’d always felt safe in Dark Canyon.
Something she’d brought with her to college, and that had been a mistake.
Having grown up where everyone knew her or her family had insulated her to what it was like to truly be around strangers.
Here in Dark Canyon, even people she didn’t know she had a connection to.
Not so in college. She went to the swing and sat down on it, pushing herself and looking down at Gracie as they swung. The baby’s eyes went wide and she laughed as they came back down, which made Ava smile.
She kept swinging for about ten minutes until the cold started to settle into her jeans and she needed to get them both back someplace warm.
Walking back to her truck, she stopped for a moment, tipping her head back toward the sun.
Thanking God for the beautiful day and this tiny person to share it with.
Once they were back in the car, she headed to the hospital to get ready for her shift. The day-care workers were happy to see Gracie, and Ava kissed the little girl goodbye, realizing that it was going to be very hard for her to see Gracie move on to her permanent family.
She really needed to remind herself that this was temporary. Just temporary. Gracie wasn’t her baby, and she wasn’t going to be her mom.
She had a few outpatients scheduled for the afternoon, conducting those sessions in her office. The day went slowly, giving her too much time to think. Mostly about Gracie and, of course, Chay.
That man had a well of caring in him that he probably wasn’t aware was very visible whenever he held Gracie.
She was sure if she just put Gracie in his arms more often, he’d start to realize it.
Of course, he’d also told her to butt out.
But in this case she was sure she knew what was good for both Chay and Gracie.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she picked up the phone and dialed his number.
“Benally.”
His voice was so formal, she couldn’t help smiling. He was so serious at work. “Colton.”
“Ava? Good to hear from you. What’s up?”
His voice warmed, which made her smile. It wasn’t smart to start catching feels for Chay.
He was working on a case, which she was sideline involved in, and she wanted him to adopt Gracie.
“I was wondering if I could bring Gracie to the Navajo Nation to visit with you. Give her a chance to see where she’s from. ”
There was a short pause. “I’m off tomorrow.”
“I am, too. I’ll drive out around ten or so, and maybe we could have lunch together. You can show me around.”
“I’d like that,” he said.
“Me, too.” She hung up the phone feeling very pleased with herself. She’d be subtle, but she wanted to nurture the bond between Gracie and Chay until he could no longer stomach the thought of the baby being raised by anyone but him.
Singing to herself as she carried Gracie to the car at the end of the day, she realized that she still felt that sensation of being watched. Turning quickly, she didn’t see anyone close behind her…she scanned the entrance to the hospital but the doors were closed. Probably just her imagination.
The beauty of Dark Canyon and the surrounding land between the city and the Navajo Nation consumed her as she drove.
Gracie had fallen asleep when she’d left her neighborhood.
Ava had her road trip playlist on. The trip between the Navajo Nation and Dark Canyon was about an hour.
It had snowed overnight, and the land glistened as the sun reflected off the pristine white blanketing the landscape.
It was nice to have a full day off. She loved her job, but there were times when a patient’s story was hard to disassociate from. Her mom always said that was what made her a good therapist, and her mom could be right, but that didn’t make sleeping any easier.
Chay was chopping wood outside his home when she pulled up.
He lived a bit remotely, but she liked it.
The rustic cabin felt like it was part of the landscape.
Smoke was coming from the chimney, and the scent of a fresh pine fire was in the air.
He put his ax down and came over to greet her as she hopped down from the driver’s side.
“You made good time,” he said.
“Got a bit of a lead foot when I’m on the highway. Know better than to speed in town.”
He smiled at that and opened the back door to lift Gracie’s carrier out of the car seat. “How you doing today, yazhi?”
“Yazhi?”
“Little one.”
“I like it,” Ava said, following him up the natural stone steps into his cabin.
She sat on the bench near the door to take off her boots as she took in the open-plan space.
She could see a breakfast bar with the kitchen behind it.
The living and dining rooms flowed into each other.
One wall was dominated by bookcases and a stone fireplace.
Another one was floor-to-ceiling glass doors that let the landscape serve as all the art the room needed.
There was a large leather couch, some side chairs and a big recliner next to a side table that had a coffee mug and some books on it. She suspected that was where he sat.
The Navajo blanket over the back of the couch looked very similar to the one that Gracie had been wrapped in.
“I know you wanted me to show you around, but I thought we’d start with my place. Give you a chance to stretch your legs before we do more driving. Also, Gracie might need to get out of the car seat.”
“She does,” Ava agreed, taking the carrier from him and getting the baby out of it. Waking up, she was always sort of all mushy and sweet. Her eyes blinked a few times as she yawned and stretched. “I’ll need to change her diaper.”
“There’s a bathroom down that hall.” He pointed to it.
Taking a diaper and wipes out of the bag she’d brought in with her, she went to change Gracie.
The bathroom had a natural wood countertop that had been treated to be water resistant, and there were double sinks.
The floor was the same stone that was in the rest of the house, and the rug under her feet had the repeated motifs she’d seen on the blanket.
Talking to Gracie as she changed the baby. “We’re at your uncle Chay’s house. I think you’re going to like it here. We’ll find out more about the motifs that were on your blanket. He has a bunch in this house.”
The baby made a cooing, questioning sound, which Ava responded to before tickling her little feet and getting her back into her clothes. Today Ava had her dressed in a pair of overalls with a long-sleeved onesie underneath. She wore socks that matched.
“There you go.”
Hurrying back out, she noticed Chay had set the blanket on the floor in the living area and poured two cups of coffee. “Figured she’d want to play…is that the right word for a baby her age?”
“It works. She is currently a big fan of trying to eat her toes. I have some toys in the diaper bag as well,” Ava said.
He was already halfway to being a good carer for Gracie.
But she knew she was drawing connections that might not be there.
He’d also gotten her coffee and had just made the living room ready for both of them.
Ava cautioned herself so she didn’t push too hard, but it was difficult as she observed Chay with Gracie. When she saw something that she knew was right, there was no stopping her.
Chay got the bag and brought it over as she set Gracie in the middle of the blanket. They placed a soft book and a giraffe that jingled when it shook next to her, along with some teething keys.
Chay went back to his recliner, and Ava took a seat on the couch close to Gracie.
“So what did you have in mind?” he asked as she got comfortable on the couch.
“I’ve never been out here before. I would like to see the community where she’ll be raised. Have you thought any more about raising her yourself?” Ava tried to be nonchalant about it. Like she hadn’t broached this subject with him more than once before.
He tilted his head to the side, giving her a narrow look. “I don’t need to. I’ve already told you I’m not doing that.”
She tried to look serious as she nodded at him. “I respect that. But can I point out that you are doing a lot of things that a dad would do?”
“You can point out whatever you want to. Doesn’t mean you’re right.”
“Agree to disagree,” she said lightly. She’d given it her best shot and his answer was still no.
“Are you going to be like this all day?” he asked, and she could tell she’d pushed his last button.
“Maybe.”
He almost smiled.
“Well then, we will leave as soon as you finish your coffee. I think you’ll like meeting my grandmother,” he said.
“Why?”
“She’s sassy like you. Also likes to boss everyone around. I’m interested to see what she makes of you.”
Ava wasn’t sure how to take that at first but decided it must be a compliment. They chatted about the weather. It had been a pretty erratic winter so far. But mostly she found herself watching Chay as he watched Gracie…and being aware of his eyes on her when she turned to gaze at the baby…