Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
J ACK
As my fists slam into the canvas of the punching bag, satisfying thuds fill my ears with each contact I make and the tension in my body calms. I’m back at work today and I came in a little early so that I could get some time in the gym and get showered before my shift starts.
I pride myself on being a man in control of his baser urges, which usually is not a problem for me. But, damn, it’s been taking more willpower than I’m convinced I have to keep my hands off Annie when we’re together. Especially the more I get to know her.
I keep replaying the kiss cam moment in my head. That fucking whimper she made when I broke the kiss is stuck on repeat in my brain. I’m positive that it’s hottest sound I’ve ever heard in my life. Between that and remembering the way her mouth tasted—like sugar and sin—I’m nearly crazy with need for her. I punch the bag a few more times, putting a bit of oomph behind the hits as I try to think of the least sexy things I can .
I’m lost in my thoughts when Teddy comes into the gym, getting ready to work out himself since his shift is ending.
“Hey, man, fancy seeing you here,” he jokes, getting on the treadmill. “We haven’t seen much of each other since I’ve been back from the honeymoon. What’s that about? You pissed at me or something?”
Guilt slaps me in the face with the reminder about how shitty of a friend I’ve been to Teddy the last few weeks. I want to tell him about Annie so he knows it’s nothing to do with him, but I don’t. I need to respect her wishes to keep whatever is happening with us quiet.
I love Teddy like a brother, but he can be impulsive on even his best days. So, I can’t risk him saying something that will make Annie uncomfortable at work.
“Nah, man. Not mad at all. Sorry, just been preoccupied with prepping for my test for captain and all. We’re both off shift tomorrow, why don’t we head to O’Riley’s in the evening and get dinner and a beer so we can catch up?”
“You don’t have to ask me twice.” He grins. “How about we meet at six?”
“Sounds good,” I say. I clap him on the back as I head to the showers.
ANNIE
Nothing can kill the high I’m riding as I come out of my manager’s office.
Janie sees my grin and grabs me, pulling me into one of my empty patient rooms. “Tell me everything! What did she say that’s got you smiling like a cat that just caught the canary?”
“It was good,” I say. “She said Leah has officially decided not to stay in her Assistant Manager role after she returns from maternity leave, so she’s going to post the position. She needs to open it up to everyone, but she said that unless Florence Nightingale herself applies, I’m her top candidate!”
Janie fist bumps the air dramatically and says, “Yes! Take that, douche-wagon Jason. He may have screwed himself, literally, out of getting to marry you but he couldn’t keep you from moving up the career ladder no matter where you are.”
I laugh at her. I realized after telling Jack about Jason that it was no longer so difficult to discuss. So, I told Janie everything shortly after I told Jack.
She’s been my biggest cheerleader and has found about one hundred different rude names to call Jason—all of them equally amusing. Since moving here, she’s quickly become my ride or die and I’m so grateful she’s in my corner.
The rest of the morning goes well, a steady stream of patients, but nothing we can’t keep up with. Around one p.m., I finish giving discharge instructions to the last patient in my rooms. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the triage nurse wheeling a woman into one of my empty rooms. I make my way across to help get her settled.
When I walk in, the woman is crying, shaking, and holding her arms tight to her chest. The triage nurse gives me a brief report. My patient is twenty-nine years old, twenty-eight weeks pregnant and started bleeding this morning. She drove herself in because she’s two hours away from home for a work convention.
The next hour is filled with everything I need to do to efficiently take care of Elyse, my patient. Drawing labs, getting an IV in place, placing a bladder catheter so we can get an ultrasound, sending off a urine sample, and calling Elyse’s husband and mother so they can come to be with her.
The second hour is the much harder stuff. Holding her hand while she gets the ultrasound and then hugging her and letting her cry after the obstetrics doctor tells her, as compassionately as possible, that the baby no longer has a heartbeat and that she is miscarrying.
When the doctor leaves, Elyse tells me through her tears that this is the third pregnancy she and her husband have lost in the four years they’ve been trying to have a baby.
Between sobs, she chokes out, “He lived longer than either of the girls did. I was so hopeful he’d be okay.”
I don’t know what to say so I just sit with her, holding space for her loss, as she grieves.
Her mother arrives and when Elyse can’t bring herself to talk, I explain the loss to her. She takes my place, holding Elyse, but I can see the pain in her moist eyes as well—not just for losing her grandchild, but also for the pain her daughter is going through.
I step out of the room, assuring Elyse before I leave that I’ll be back to check on her. I find my charge nurse and tell her I need a few minutes.
The look on my face must show her I’m barely holding it together because she tells me to take as long as I need.
JACK
I’m finishing up our second run to the ER and wondering why I haven’t seen Annie on either trip so far. Something just doesn’t feel right to me.
I see Janie coming out of a room and approach her, running my hand through my hair.
“Hey, Janie, any idea where Annie is hiding out?”
“Sorry, Jack, she’s on a break. She’s had a real tough afternoon.” She frowns, before heading into another room.
I quietly tell Fitz I’m going to go check on Annie and that I’ll meet him in the ambulance when he’s done with the run sheet from the patient we just brought in. I have a feeling I know exactly where to find Annie.
When I come around the corner outside the ER, I find Annie in her spot. Only this time, she’s not cussing up a storm, she’s sitting on the ground with her back against the wall and her head resting on her knees. By the way her back and shoulders are moving and the quiet sounds she’s making, it’s obvious she’s crying.
“Hey, Annie,” I whisper. I crouch down in front of her.
She lifts her eyes to meet mine with a devastated look on her face that makes me think I’d burn down the world if that’s what it’d take to make whatever this is better for her.
She’s wiping her eyes furiously, looking embarrassed that I’m seeing her crying. I sit next to her and pull her into my side to comfort her the only way I can think of.
“Did somebody upset or hurt you? Tell me a name,” I say, straining to hide the anger in my voice at whoever made her cry.
“No, nothing like that,” she quickly says, shaking her head.
She tells me about her patient who just miscarried and I’m in awe that this amazing woman can care for someone at the worst time of their life and not shut herself off to the pain she sees daily in her work. Instead, she bears the weight of it and keeps that beautiful heart of hers full of compassion for people she doesn’t even know.
As she stops crying and wipes her face, I realize that even if she never wants to be more than my friend, I’m damn lucky to have her in my life.
But, shit, I hope she wants to be more, because I’m realizing my heart might be in real trouble with this one—something I’m not at all used to feeling.
“So, Ted, how’s married life treating you?” I ask.
“It’s okay. Lots of ‘honey-do’ type of stuff but Emily is great.” Teddy breaks eye contact with me when he’s talking, and I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something seems off.
I hesitate but decide I need to say something. “Remember, we talked about this a lot before the wedding,” I remind my best friend. “It’s easy to get caught up in the wedding’s excitement and the honeymoon but you have to really watch and make sure you don’t let yourself get down during the everyday stuff, right?”
“Yeah, I know, I know. I’m being careful, Jacky. I’ll tell you if things get bad again. You don’t have to worry about me so much. Everything is okay, I promise.”
“Okay. Just remember I’m here,” I say to him. But he’s no longer looking at me. His eyes are fixed on the dance floor area.
I feel a little better but I’m still not sure everything is okay with him. I make a mental note to check in with Em and see how she’s feeling about things.
I turn to see what’s caught his attention. A group of nurses from First City ER have arrived and planted themselves at a few tables alongside the dance floor. Lucky me, Annie is walking over to the bar and I have an unencumbered view of how scorching hot she looks in ripped skinny jeans, a tight black tank top, denim jacket, and heeled boots. Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
“Hey, Benny,” she says. She leans over the bar and flashes that beautiful smile at our sixty-something bartender, making him blush. “Can we get five of whatever beer you have on tap and a round of Fireball shots for our table?”
“Sure thing, sugar. Anything for my First City gals.” Benny winks .
“Hey, fellas,” she says, turning that smile on us. “What are you guys doing here tonight?”
She says it to both of us but she’s looking straight at me and the intensity in her eyes tells me something is going on with her.
“Just hanging out and catching up,” Teddy answers. “Remembering some good times from our past. How about you gals?”
“We’re just here to dance. No remembering for us. Just forgetting. We’re need to erase this past week, seeing as it’s been a shit one,” she answers. She takes the tray of drinks Benny has finished preparing, winks at us, and heads back to her table.
I watch her go, and it doesn’t escape me that Teddy does, too.
How he’s watching her pisses me off, both because he just married Emily and because something about it is sparking an emotion in me I don’t remember feeling in many years—an emotion that feels a lot like jealousy.