41. Text Chat
Text Chat
Tee: When you fell for Sweet Lips, did you trust him?
Parker: Ohhh, so you’re talking to me now, are you?
Tee: I wasn’t ignoring you.
Parker: Check the date on the last message you replied to.
Parker: Bitch.
Tee: Less of the insults!! I was CREATING
Parker: What were you creating?
Tee: Music. Duh.
Tee: What else?
Parker: Never know with you. You’re smart enough for the answer to be life OR crystal meth.
Tee: Why, thank you!
Parker: You’re welcome. Weirdo
Parker: So, Zee told me something about you falling for Colt’s brother?
Tee: Yeah
*Ten minutes later*
Parker: AND?!
Tee: Nothing
Parker: Liar
*Twelve minutes later*
Tee: Umm.
Parker: ?
Tee: There may be something I’m keeping from you
Parker: What?
*Fourteen minutes later*
Parker: Fucking hell, Tee. What is it? Holy shit, you’re not dying, are you?
Tee: Nah. Though, technically, I suppose I am. My cells are oxidizing as we speak
Parker: Just regular death, then?
Tee: Yup. As far as I’m aware, I’m not ill. Unless you consider love to be a sickness? I’m sure there’s a psychiatrist who’s doing a study on it and says it is
Parker: Yes, but I don’t care about them lol.
Parker: What’s going on with you? You know you can talk to me about anything.
Tee: Well.
Tee: I mean.
Tee: I know
Tee: But
Parker: No buts
*Three minutes later*
Tee: Colt’s brother
Parker: Yes?
Tee: He’s Butch
Parker: Huh?
Tee: You know, the ‘Dear John’?
Parker: Wait.
Parker: Colt’s brother is your pen pal from the Forces?
Tee: Uh-huh
Parker: Wow.
Parker: I know it’s a small world
Parker: But that’s ridiculous
Parker: o.O
Parker: You know, you usually say shit that gasts my flabber, but this is definite A+ material. Seriously, if you were next to me, I’d give you a round of applause
Tee: So
Tee: You understand my predicament?
Parker: You buried his body on the ranch, the police found it, and now you need Rachel to recommend a criminal lawyer up there?
Tee: Ah, shit.
Parker: What?
Tee: I knew there was a reason we were BFFs
Parker: Wait a minute - this is why you’ve been quiet?
Tee: Sort of.
Tee: You see, your first assumption that I’d hit him over the head with my English horn is incorrect. But I’m letting you down
Parker: Huh?
Tee: I didn’t hit him over the head.
Tee: I did abandon him in the wilderness though.
Parker: He got eaten by a bear?
Tee: No. I went back. He’s still alive.
Parker: Sheesh, so what’s the problem?
Tee: Do. Not. Laugh.
Parker: I won’t
Tee: (I know you’re lying)
Parker: (I’m not)
Tee: I may have had sex with him
Parker: Before or after?
Tee: Both?
Parker: Why a question mark?
Tee: No reason
Parker: I’m confused. So, you’ve been quiet because you didn’t kill him and slept with him anyway?
Tee: Wasn’t much sleeping
Parker: Are you ashamed?
Tee: No
Tee: But I know you have high expectations and I feel like I let you down
Parker: Wow
Parker: You think I expect you to go to jail?
Tee: Nah
Parker: You think I don’t want you to be happy?
Tee: Umm, no
Parker: So what’s the issue?
Tee: I rolled over really fast, Parker. Like, embarrassingly quick. But he’s
*Two minutes later*
Parker: What is he?
Tee: Dreamy
Tee: I love him
Tee: And he loves me
Parker: I’m still failing to see the problem. If anything, I’m happy for you!
Tee: I wailed at you for a couple hours, made you listen to his letter over and over again.
Parker: Yes, and I know how much you cared about him.
Parker: Sweetheart, I would never judge you for grasping at happiness
Parker: His reasons for the ‘Dear John’ were sound?
Tee: They were pretty shit, tbh.
Tee: But they’re something we can work on.
Tee: He believes them, at least, lol
Parker: Okay, so if you believe that, I believe that. HOWEVER, if he hurts you one more time and/or sends you another ‘Dear John,’ I will send Sweet Lips to castrate him. Do we have a deal?
Tee: 100%
Tee: