Mean
It’s crystal clear I can’t depend on riding back with Todd in the ho-wagon. Even if he was still my boyfriend and the Heathers were still my friends, popular kids run in a mini-pack formation. Until this calms down, they’re going to shun me, or worse. I’ll have to deal with all of my heartache and grief alone.
That’s okay—it won’t be the first time and definitely not the last. Our world is pred eat pred, and they expect all of us to learn how to survive on our own if we have to. Lucille and Bruno haven’t failed in that aspect of my upbringing at all. I certainly know how to take care of myself because no one else gives a rat’s ass about me except Mattie.
The ride to the house is silent, and I’m thankful for it. I’m terrified of what awaits me when I get home because I know by now, Pink will have broadcasted my shame on every social media platform available. There’s no way they have not made my parents aware that I’m a bigger disappointment than they expected.
I’m the lowest of the low, the unworthiest of unworthy... I’m prey .
After she arrived at the library in her tiny sports coupe, Mattie located my phone. She has an app on her tablet that allows her to find any of our devices in case of theft or kidnapping. I was a little shocked when she said the second part so matter-of-factly, but I guess it’s a precaution our family’s security team would have taken to ensure my father didn’t have to pay out a hefty ransom. I waited in the parked car while she retrieved it, nervous for her safety given that I was well aware of what kind of preds are stalking the grounds looking for me.
My parents will be furious, of course. I’ve humiliated them by emerging as a peasant in our society and they captured my embarrassing run for my life for the entire world to watch. I destroyed my dress, messed up my face, and they ripped my heart to shreds. I’ll be lucky if I survive the night with what’s left of my soul intact.
No one makes Lucille look foolish and lives to tell the tale.
They may make good on their threat to send me to Bloodstone Isle, or they may simply disown me. If that happens, I’m going to need to learn to take care of myself in ways I’ve never had to before. I have a little money saved from pocketing the change when my parents gave me cash for purchases, but not enough to find a safe place to stay for very long. My credit card is certain to be cut off, and I’ll have to carry everything I want to save on my back, since I won’t have a car.
Sniffling, I wipe a tear from my eye as I think of how Todd and my friends betrayed me. That’s the biggest lesson of the day, I suppose. You can’t trust anyone, and everyone is always looking out for themselves. It doesn’t matter how perfect you try to be or how well you behave, nothing is ever good enough for those who want to tear you down.
Everyone who I thought cared about me—save Mattie—falls into that category today. They didn’t want to hear my side of the story or comfort me. They just wanted to attack and further their own goals. I should have expected it, and I’m a fool for being so damn na?ve.
‘I’m young’ is a convenient excuse, but the real problem is my inability to accept the truth that Lucille kept trying to drill into my head. She pulled no punches about the cut-throat nature of preds and frequently told me I was being silly and sentimental. I just thought she was being a mean old hag and tried harder to get her to love me. Maybe it is my fault for being too na?ve. I should have listened, even when it hurt my heart to do so.
She’s never liked Todd. I guess she was right about him, too.
The car pulls up to the front steps, and Mattie finally turns to me, her eyes full of sadness. Her voice is a whisper as she says, “Are you ready?”
“No,” I reply, shaking my head slowly. “But I never will be and if I’m going to die tonight, I might as well get it over with.”
A look of horror crosses her features, and I give her a watery smile before I get out of the car to head to my judgement.
There really is nothing else left to do besides face the music.
“ How did you let that little slut Barrington film this disaster ?” Lucille shrieks as she paces back and forth across the drawing room in satin pajamas. “ I cannot believe her father refuses to take it down. If this is his idea of a power play…”
I watch her with dull eyes, makeup trailing over my face as the tears freely fall. Between her and Bruno ranting, I’ve been standing in my ripped dress and bare feet for two hours now. They’ve threatened, ranted, and cajoled many people over the phone as they frantically work to get the videos removed. When they’re on hold, they scream at me or… worse.
The broken glass count is up to ten, and that’s after Matilda cleaned up the first set and brought a fresh tray in. I’ve ducked most of them, but it’s difficult because Bruiser steps closer as a warning every time I try to move from the spot I’m standing in. Bruno hasn’t come close to unleashing any of his typical alcohol-induced threats, but it’s coming.
If they can’t make headway with the ‘fixers’ they have on the phones, my night is going to get much, much worse. My punishments get more violent when the stakes are higher, and though it’s not all the time, it’s difficult to predict which face my parents will show.
My heart is thumping like a brass band and I can feel my entire body trembling. Biting my lower lip so hard I taste blood, I struggle to keep myself under control so I don’t give them any more weapons to use against me. But it’s getting harder by the second, because now that I’ve emerged, my animal is much closer to my skin.
I’m prey, being stalked by threatening predators. The bunny inside is fucking terrified, and I can’t hear her yet—that skill comes with time and training—so I can’t soothe her with mental conversation. My nails bite into my palms as I try to replace fear with pain, to keep my scent from alerting my parents about my dilemma.
“M-may I g-g-go up s-s-stairs?” I venture, making myself as small as possible. I can’t keep my voice from shaking, but I can try like hell to get out of here before the rabbit flashes over my skin.
“We are not through with you yet, Delores Diamond Drew,” Lucille purrs, her eyes dark as she half-shifts and her fangs come out, causing another wave of panic to shoot through my veins. “I always knew you were a useless fraud, and you’d never amount to anything. I carried you, supported you, and yes, put up with you because I thought someday I might get rid of you through a marriage agreement. Now, that’s impossible because you had the audacity to turn out so flawed that even my pull can’t save you.”
Flinching, I lower my head and look at the floor. Lucille has no compassion for emotions, and no use for weaklings. If she knows how badly she’s sliced my already fragile self-worth, she’ll go in for the kill.
I can’t break down here. I have to remain as put together and contrite as possible, even though I know I’m not to blame for my animal emerging the way it did. DNA and genetics determine that detail and I could point a finger right back at Lucille and have a fifty percent chance of finding who was responsible. One of them knows the truth, but they will never admit it. The root of my parents’ problem is staring at them in the mirror, but they seem more interested in blaming me for being caught on video.
“ Oliver Barrington… if you do not do something immediately , I will call our mutual frien ds and we will see just how big those shriveled old man balls of yours are. Do you think a shark out of water can defend himself against the tigers? No? Then I suggest you put a muzzle on that little tramp and call me when it’s fixed. You have two hours , comrade. After that, our friendship ends, and who knows what will befall you?”
Lucille hangs up the phone, chucking it across the room like a missile. I wasn’t watching carefully enough, so it hits me in the face hard enough that I can feel the bruise forming. Her anger is like a living thing, filling the room and suffocating all of us as she seethes. I don’t move for fear she will fully shift and come after me. What if my bunny appears? I’m not sure my mother's in a state of mind that will allow her to make any sort of rational decision if that were to happen.
The cops are in her pocket, so if she killed me, she’d never see a courtroom.
Bruno hangs up as well, turning to face us from where he’s been sitting, muttering things to one of his contacts. His eyes glitter with rage as he advances on me slowly. The gator inside of him shimmers over his skin as he stalks towards me with the fury of a predator who has lost their prey. “Well, well, my little… snack. It seems the Council believes it would be better for us to allow you to live… for now. They think your death at Apex—whether at the hands of a student or in the battles—will reflect better on the school and the Council. After all, who wouldn’t want to send their pred to a school where even an heir can die at the hand of the most vicious?”
My eyes widen and I tremble, shaking my head wordlessly. Both of my parents give me supremely satisfied grins, and even Bruiser snorts his approval. Mattie wrings her hands in the corner, looking like she’s going to be ill. This has to be a joke—one colossal joke played by the gods to pay me back for all the times I defied my parents in little ways.
They can’t actually be sending me to Apex—a school of elite predators—as prey? One glance at the faces of my parents confirms I’m not imagining things, and they really are sentencing me to death by my classmates.
Cowards—the lot of them. They should kill me themselves if they want me dead.
I won’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they broke the last piece of my soul, though. They don’t deserve to feel good about their destruction, and I’m not yet ready to fight back, like the professor, Fitz, suggested. So I nod, turning on my heel and running up the stairs as fast as I can. I have to lock myself in my room so I can finally, finally let it all out. After that, I can plan what I’m going to do to keep myself safe.
It. Won’t. Stop. Buzzing.
I set my phone to silent once I stripped my dress off and tossed it in the garbage can. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of unlocking it to check the time, and the messages started pouring in like a tidal wave of pain and betrayal. My ex-friends and ex-boyfriend filled every social media platform from Instagrowl to Riptok with vile comments, death threats, and laughter at my expense.
I should report the things people said as online bullying, but who am I going to report it to?
Pink’s video went viral long before Lucille’s threats to her dad made him take action. It’s been shared so many times that no one can stop it now. To make it worse, Todd decided to doxx me, so I’m also getting regular texts full of hate on top of the social media threats.
I’m a little worried people will show up at my house, but I don’t think they could get past Bruiser’s security team. He might not care if I die, but he won’t let anything happen to my parents. They’ve killed staff for less, and he knows it.
No one has come to find me since I ran to my bedroom, and truthfully, I’m glad. Even seeing Mattie right now would make my shredded heart ache. How could I have known when I woke up this morning that my entire future would disappear like a puff of smoke? Not that I could have done much to escape my fate. You can’t change who you are.
All I can do now is lay here in my room and cry, and hope that I’ll be able to pick up the pieces tomorrow. I’m friendless, loveless, and futureless, but at least I’m not homeless or dead.
Yet.