Chapter 14
fourteen
Killian
Tessa is asleep after our last round of sex.
The sun is just starting to come up, and I haven’t been able to close my eyes.
Part of it was that I didn’t want her to slink out of my bed, ready to pretend last night didn’t happen.
The other part is that I’m pretty sure when the light of day breaks, and she realizes what we did again, she’s going to regret it and I want to assuage her fears.
I roll over, pulling her against my chest, and she nuzzles closer. My fingers move up and down her back, and her eyelids lift gently.
She grins. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
She ducks her head, hiding from me, and then looks back up. “What time is it?”
“About seven. I have to go out to the barn, but didn’t want to just leave you.”
“Okay.”
I smile. “Are you okay?”
Tessa blinks. “Tired, but yes, why?”
Because I don’t want you to say what I think you’re going to say.
“I just want to make sure.”
She sighs heavily and pushes back, keeping her hand over my heart. “I’m completely okay. I think we were both heading right back here and at least this time we’re aware of the situation. You’re okay with it, right?”
I laugh a little. “More than okay. I think us fighting this every day was making it harder to work together.”
“I agree.” She smiles up at me and it’s like the sun cresting the horizon.
“Good.”
“But I have questions…” Tessa pulls back, but I hold her close, not wanting her to move away. “I’ve never done this.”
“Done what?” I ask. “This” could mean a multitude of things.
She sighs, her fingertips brushing over my collarbone. “Casual…sex or whatever we’re calling this. I’ve never slept with a client or coworker, and I just…I want to prepare myself, you know? I want to have the expectations in place so that when it comes down to it, there are no surprises.”
I wait for a heartbeat, not really sure what to say to that. “Okay…well, I don’t really do this either. I’ve never slept with a work acquaintance either. I find mixing the two never bodes well for anyone. This is a new one for me.”
As for the casual relationships, that’s all I’ve had in the past. After my fiancée cheated, I really wanted no part in anything serious.
It’s easier to just keep things surface level.
Not to mention, the woman who lied about having a child and kept her from me.
I’ve never been able to trust much, but that put me over the edge.
“Same.”
Something she said has me smiling. “So you’ve never done casual sex?”
Tessa groans and drops her head on my chest. “No, not really. I’ve been in two relationships, and that’s it. I kind of have trust issues. When I meet a guy, it takes me a long time to open up.”
I rub my fingers up and down her spine. “Really? You had no issues with me.”
“I know.”
“So you’re saying I’m special?”
She laughs. “Something like that.”
I’m going to pretend that’s a yes. “Why does it take you a long time?”
“You don’t really need to be bothered by my baggage.”
She doesn’t get it. “Tessa,” I say her name softly. “You’re not bothering me. You’re not boring me. You’re not irritating me by telling me about who you are. I want to know everything that makes you who you are.”
Her eyes swim with emotion and she sighs. “Killian.”
“I’m serious. Why does it take you a long time to open up?”
I sit and wait while she worries her lower lip before finally explaining.
“My dad…he walked out, which you know, every girl seems to have daddy issues, but he would come back when it was convenient for him. Never when I needed him. My brother, he cut him off long before I did, but I held out hope.” She laughs softly, but it lacks all humor.
“There was a daddy-daughter dance that he promised he’d come to and then just never showed up.
I was in my dress, sitting on the steps outside, telling my mother she was wrong and he’d come.
I was so sure that there was a reason. He told me later that week he got busy and forgot. ”
“Tessa,” I say her name, wanting to ease her hurt. “He should’ve been there.”
She shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. It was like that until I was about eighteen and I decided that I didn’t want to be an afterthought after my father told me that’s all I was ever going to be.
He didn’t say it in those words, but he may as well have.
I haven’t heard from him since I told him how I felt. He didn’t care and still doesn’t.”
My stomach churns as I think about what she must’ve felt. To be ready, eager to have something special and then be told she wasn’t worth it.
I’d like to punch her father in the fucking face for it.
“You’re not an afterthought, Tessa. Not ever,” I say, holding her chin so she can see the sincerity on my face.
Her blue eyes shimmer with unshed tears. “Don’t make me cry.”
I grin and kiss her gently. “All right, well, to answer what I think was your point, we’re not defined.
You live in New York and I’m in Boston or here.
Whenever we’re together whether it’s with work or in bed, just know that I will never lie to you.
I’ll be honest if I can or can’t give you something.
I won’t lead you on or make you think there’s more if there can’t be. Does that work for you?”
Honesty is the one thing I will always offer her. She won’t have to wonder where we stand or what we are, I’ll be transparent with her always.
“I’ll give you the same,” she says with a smile.
“Good. For now, this is amazing sex and fun when we’re not working. We can hang out, go out, whatever we want. At least now we can stop resisting.” I kiss her nose.
“Oh, you think we’re going to do this again?”
Her saucy tone already has me hard. “I do.”
“And why is that?” She asks.
“I’ll show you why.”
I roll us until I’m on top of her, my cock already hard and wanting to push inside of her. To feel the warmth of her around me, her heat, her scent, her taste, I crave it all.
Her legs automatically fall open, and I adjust so I can rub my dick against her. I rock slowly. “Tell me why I wouldn’t think that,” I demand.
Her perfect lips part and she gasps. “I don’t know.”
“No?” I rock again, making sure I rub her clit a little harder. “You’re already wet aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she confesses.
Not that I needed her to confirm what I already feel. “And could I push inside of you if I wanted?”
I don’t have a condom on so I only do the tip, just enough to let her feel me, to know I’m right there.
“Oh, please, fill me,” Tessa begs. “Please fuck me.”
“No, angel, I think you only get this right now.” Keeping myself from plunging into her is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
“Just this, until tonight, when I know all day you’ve wished for my cock.
You’ll have to look at me, think of me, imagine this.
” I push just a little deeper, despite myself.
“How much do you think you’re going to want me tonight, Tessa? ”
Tessa scores her nails down my back, moving for my ass and pushing, trying to get me to give in, but I don’t.
I want her desperate. I want her to have phantom feelings of this.
“Please, baby. Please…I need you.”
I pull out completely, and she practically cries out, but I bring my lips to hers, kissing her softly and then, wanting her to have a little more satisfied, I reach between us and rub her clit.
“You’ll have me later, but I want you to wait.
” She moans as I increase the pressure. I stare down at her with her brown hair fanned out against my pillow, her heart-shaped lips forming a perfect O as she struggles for breath.
When I started this, I planned to stop right before her orgasm hit, but seeing her like this, I want to watch her in full glory.
I finger her, my thumb moving to her clit, pushing in and out, no longer thinking my plan was all that smart.
Instead of being inside of her, I’m punishing myself by not giving in.
“Killian,” she moans my name. “Please.”
“That’s it, angel. Let me give it to you,” I coax.
Her fingers dig into my arms, her body lifting off the bed. “I’m so close.”
I can feel her cunt pulsing around my finger. I give her more, sliding in a slow rhythm, wanting to make this last as long as I can.
“You’re so beautiful,” I tell her. “Watching you like this…God, I wish I could sear this into my brain. Every inch of you is perfect.” She pants and her body starts to tighten. “Just like that, Tessa. Let me see you come. Let me feel you fall apart around my fingers.”
Her head tilts back, eyes closed, as I rub faster, pump harder, and then she releases. Her rough cry fills the room and all the empty parts of my soul.
Before I can move, her hand wraps around my cock and she starts to pump. Fuck. I can’t hold back.
I was already teetering on the edge after watching her, feeling her, touching her, but this…
I move her hand away, but she protests.
“No,” she says firmly. “I want this.”
“I know you do.”
Keeping my eyes on hers, I pull my fingers up between us and slowly lick the taste of her off. Her pupils dilate as I moan, wishing I had my face there so I could have more.
“Well, that’s not fair,” she murmurs.
I glance down at her with a grin. “What’s not?”
“You got to taste me, I think I should as well.” She pushes against my chest until I roll to my back.
I want to deny her, but I don’t.
I grip her arm gently as she starts to kiss down my chest. “Only your mouth,” I command.
“For now.”
And then Tessa gives me a blow job I’ll never forget.
“Killian, it’s good to see you,” Desmond Sanchez says as he extends his hand.
I return the handshake. “Desmond, how are you?”
“Good. Can’t complain.”
Desmond and I have had several business dealings over the past three years. I’ve sold him three horses, and one of them is a grade two stakes winner.
He is also one of the buyers who canceled his purchase of one of my horses, which is why I’m at this damn auction.
“Glad to hear it.”
He shifts his weight and glances around the crowd, clearly worried about who is watching the two of us. I’m starting to wonder if he regrets coming over to talk to me. “Listen, I wanted to reach out and see how you’re doing. I know you’re having a bit of an issue.”
“You can say that.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.”
“Can I ask why?”
Desmond sighs heavily. “It’s nothing personal. I’ve loved the horses I’ve bought, won a lot of money too, but you know, there’s been a lot of talk lately.”
That’s news to me. I haven’t heard anything. In fact, it’s why I’m so fucking confused as to what’s going on. Hopefully he’ll give me some answers. “Really? About what?”
His eyes widen for a second. “You…well, the whole thing about Travis.”
I wonder if he knows where the fuck he is.
So far, we’ve found absolutely nothing about where he is or where we went.
All of the leads have been dead ends. I don’t want to play my hand because this is the first I’m hearing anything about Travis or people talking.
So, I shake my head. “I’m not sure what you mean. ”
“It’s been going around, the whole scandal that he was doping horses when he was at Longwood Ranch…you haven’t heard?”
Longwood Ranch is where he was working before he came to work for me.
That’s an absolute lie. There’s no way that Travis would do that, he loves his horses.
Yes, he’s tough, but doping? No. I don’t believe it.
But, if that’s the rumor, it would explain why Travis disappeared.
Those kinds of allegations ruin lives. “I hadn’t heard any of it. ”
“Yeah, apparently that’s why he was fired from there.”
I shake my head because that’s a boldfaced lie. “He wasn’t fired. I approached him and he came over, pissing Owen off in the process.”
“That’s…not what Owen is saying. He found proof that Travis was doping his horses, he fired him, and then you hired him—which is what a few owners are concerned that he was doing to theirs. Which is why no one wants to work with you guys.”
Fucking hell. “That’s bullshit,” I tell him. “Plus, if that was the case, why is Owen saying this now? Why not when I hired him?”
Desmond shrugs. “Maybe he didn’t want the rumors to fall on him and ruin his business, fuck if I know.”
I need to set the record straight right now. “Travis was not doping my horses or any of the ones we boarded. I have them tested regularly.”
“I’m just saying. I’m sorry I had to back out, but I can’t be mixed up in a scandal, I’m sure you understand.”
I get it, but there is no fucking scandal. If all of this is going on because Owen Perry wanted to run his mouth and spew a bunch of lies, I’m going to beat his fucking ass. I knew he would be a dick when I asked Travis to leave there, but I didn’t think he’d try to ruin my entire operation.
He’s known to be ruthless but not vengeful.
“I wish you would’ve talked to me. I could’ve shown you test results, veterinary records, and whatever documents you needed. I assure you, Travis might have been a tough trainer, but he wasn’t doping the horses on my ranch or on Owen’s.”
If I can find Travis, I could prove this isn’t true or at least discuss it. However, I don’t know this for an absolute fact. Hell, even if he told me he wasn’t, I can’t be one hundred percent sure. The only thing I do know is that Everett would’ve caught signs of it.
“I’m sorry about that, but I’ve known Owen for twenty years and I have no reason to believe he’s lying,” Desmond says with a sigh.
“I wish you the best, Killian. I truly do. Your horses were always top quality and I’ll let a few of the guys know what you said here.
Maybe it would be beneficial to have Travis also say something. ”
Yeah, it definitely would be, but I can’t exactly tell him that Travis has gone missing right around when everyone started to pull out of their contracts.
“Thanks, Desmond,” I say, extending my hand again.
He shakes it. “Of course, good luck.”
Yeah, I’m going to need it.
I grab my phone and send a text to my contact at Cole Security to get some answers.
I’m going to need an update. I think I found out what’s been going on. We need to find Travis.
Liam
I’ll be in Ember Falls next week with some information. We are tracking down a lead and it’ll take a little more time to verify if it’s Travis.
Good. At least we’re finally going in the right direction.