Chapter 17
seventeen
Tessa
I’m lying on my bed as my phone rings and dread fills me when I see the name.
I’ve tried to avoid my mother. I’ve done a fairly good job of it, keeping it to mostly texts and explaining how busy I am, but it seems my avoidance isn’t going to hold up since this is the third call today.
I steel myself, knowing that the tirade will surely come, and swipe the phone. “Hi, Mom.”
“Tessa? Is that you?”
Let the gaslighting and manipulation begin.
“Yes, I’m very sorry I missed your calls earlier.”
“Oh, I just didn’t know if you had my number still. I haven’t heard your voice in weeks.”
My eyes close, and I start to count in my head, hoping it’ll calm me. It does slightly. Although, for as high as I’d need to get, it would take the rest of the day to fully erase my feelings toward her.
“How are you feeling?” I change the topic. There’s no way to appease her—might as well let her complain.
“Terrible,” she says, letting out a heavy sigh. “The water heater broke, or at least I think it did. Reece said it was fine, but your brother is lazy at best. I think you’re going to need to replace it or have someone come out who can fix it, and not with duct tape and bubble gum.”
I want to laugh because of course I need to do it.
“I’m sorry that’s happening, Mom, but I’ve sent all that I can this month.”
“What do you want me to do then?”
Get off your ass and go back to work.
I don’t say it because, that would be a horrific argument that we would never recover from.
“You’re going to have to let Reece do his best.”
My brother may not help financially, but he’s incredibly handy and does fix most of the issues she has.
“I gave you everything you have in this world,” she starts in. “I gave you food, money, love, and anything you needed, you had. Even with all the pain I’ve been in since my accident. I’ve never let you and your brother suffer for it.”
I wish I could’ve recorded snippets of my life that rebukes all of this, but it would do no good. Even when Reece and I have told her our truth about our childhood, somehow it turns into us lying or just being cruel.
The only way to deal with her is either to accept that this is the way it’ll always be or cut her off completely. While I wish I could be strong enough for the second option, I’m not.
She’s my mother. She tried. I truly believe that my mother loves me the only way she knows how, and I will never be able to just walk away and let her starve or be on the streets.
“I know that, Mom, which is why I do whatever I can to help you. I’m sorry the water heater is acting up. I’ll call Reece and ask him to come again to work on it. As soon as I get back to New York, I’ll do what I can to send some extra money.”
“You will?” she asks with a sniff.
“Yes.”
My roommate, Brianna, has a lot of contacts and her one friend owns a bar. Occasionally, he lets me bartend, which always gives me some extra cash. I’ll reach out when I get back so I can try to help her a little more.
Mom coughs softly. “Thank-you, Tessa. It’s not easy for any of us. With you traveling now, it’s even worse.”
Yes, it is—for me.
Speaking of work…
“I’ll call you when I’m back in New York, okay? I have to finish up a project I’m working on now that I need to show the owner tonight,” I partially lie.
“All right, darling. I love you so much.”
If only I could laugh. “I love you too, Mom. We’ll talk soon.”
“Goodbye, my sweet girl.”
I hang up, staring at the phone and wishing that I could’ve not taken that call.
Wanting to put that ugliness behind me, I go back to my laptop and the project that actually is giving me joy and a sense of accomplishment.
I’ve been working all day on the rodeo, which is going to be fabulous.
I have the food vendors lined up, and a company is going to bring all the fencing, bleachers, as well as some other things she said we needed in terms of rodeo equipment.
Prior to the auction, we are going to host a few horse owners to come tour the facilities and meet with the staff.
At this point, we can do nothing about the rumors other than prove them wrong.
I’m sitting on the bed, looking over the flyer I made, tweaking the font a little when something slides under my door.
I jump a little. After the whole bug thing, I’m not exactly keen on things moving. Then I see it’s an envelope.
Weird.
I get up, pad over to get it, and smile when I see my name written across the front.
I open it and there, in Killian’s handwriting, are two lines.
I’ll pick you up at seven for a night out.
Dress warm.
K
What in the world?
I rush to the door and open it, but there’s no one there. The stupid smile on my face grows wider when I reread it.
Then, that smile disappears when I see the clock.
Shit. I have less than an hour.
I don’t have a lot of options for clothing, and I have no idea where we’re going. Could be another horse ride, camping—hell, I have no idea.
I grab my jeans, a one-shoulder shirt, and a cardigan, laying them out.
It’s cute. It’s workable. It has layers.
That’s the best I can do.
Next, I head into the bathroom, pulling my hair out of the bun I tossed it in, and run a straightener through, getting any bumps out. Then I do the best makeup I can before I’m getting dressed and rushing out the door.
“Killian?” I call out his name, but he doesn’t answer.
I check my phone to see if he called…but no, he didn’t.
I walk into the kitchen, expecting to see him there, only to find it empty.
“Killian?” I call out again as I walk into his office.
I glance at my watch, which shows it’s seven, which is when he said to meet him.
There’s no movement outside on the back deck.
So weird.
As I make my way back toward the front of the house, the doorbell rings.
Uhh, how the hell did anyone get through the gate?
Since I have no idea where Killian is, I might as well open it.
When I pull it back, my eyes widen because there, in a pair of olive-green dress pants, ivory polo, and cream-colored cowboy hat, stands Killian.
He fills out every inch of that shirt, the sleeves looking like they could tear right off if he flexes his muscles.
His green eyes are soft, as he removes his hat and then from behind his back, he produces a bouquet of flowers, extending them to me.
“These are for you.”
I smile, butterflies taking flight in my belly. “What is this?” I ask as I take the peonies that are so beautiful.
“Flowers.”
“I know that,” I say with a laugh. “You’re on the wrong side of your door.”
He puts that sexy hat back on his head. “I believe it’s customary for the man to ring the doorbell of his date.”
A date? He’s taking me on a date.
My first date.
My throat goes dry, and not just because he looks incredible, but because this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done. Killian is giving me a moment that I so wanted to share with him.
Dear God, this man is going to wreck me in every way.
“We’re going on a date?” I ask, even though he basically told me that.
“We are.”
I smile so wide my cheeks ache. “Okay. A date.”
He extends his elbow. “Shall we?”
My hand rests in the crook of his arm as he walks me to the car. I’ve seen his truck, but this is a cute little convertible that has never been in the driveway before. The top is up, thankfully, since my hair is down and the last thing I want to look is windblown.
He opens my door and all of this is like a dream.
I know that sounds stupid, but it’s…surreal.
This man, who is just supposed to be a casual fling, is doing something that no one else has done for me before.
I watch as he walks around the front, trying to calm my racing heart and frantic mind.
“You really didn’t have to do this,” I say once he’s settled in the driver’s seat, placing his hat on the backseat, not even knowing what we’re doing.
“I know I didn’t have to do it.”
I sigh. “I just mean that…”
He leans in, giving me a sweet kiss, silencing my objection.
Once I’m effectively dazed by his sweetness, he speaks.
“I’m not doing anything that I don’t want to do.
Tonight, I want to go out for dinner with a beautiful woman.
I want to take her somewhere that I love and then, maybe at the end of the night, she’ll let me walk her to her door and kiss her goodnight.
We don’t have to do anything, but I really hope she wants to. ”
I reach my hand out, cupping his face. “I want it more than anything.”
Killian brings my hand to his lips, kissing my palm, and I melt. “Then let’s go on our date.”
The drive is quiet, and he holds my hand the entire time. We see each other all day so there’s not much small talk, but he still asks me about the plans for the rodeo, and I tell him about my very exhausting call with my mother earlier.
“I just don’t understand her. Nothing is ever enough,” I complain. “I sent her what I could and she still wasn’t happy.”
He squeezes my hand. “I’m sorry. What if you were to stop sending her anything?”
I can’t even imagine. Well, I can, but there’s no chance of it. “She’d probably lose her house. I don’t know.”
“It’s not your job to take care of everyone. You know that, right?”
Isn’t it? My job is literally taking care of people. Throughout my life, that’s what’s been expected of me and I’ve just done it.
Even if I hate it.
“Maybe so, but I can’t let my mother and brother be homeless.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. “I wouldn’t be able to either.”
He definitely wouldn’t.
He couldn’t even handle the idea of me being in that room above the store.
Killian and I are a lot alike. Every morning when I come downstairs, he has a yogurt ready for me or sometimes it’s a fancy omelet.
I know he likes to cook, but it’s more than that.
He’s always making sure that I’m taken care of and am fed.
Then, when we’re together at night, he doesn’t stop until I’ve orgasmed before taking his own.
We both put others’ needs before our own.
It’s what I like the most about him. He cares.