Chapter 5
CHAPTER
Parting with Varro the night before was a feat in and of itself.
I had fallen asleep with lips still swollen from our kisses; my imagination running wild with fantasies we had not yet allowed ourselves.
I awoke from a deep and dreamless sleep to the abrupt appearance of Varro in my room.
He had portaled in with zero notice, half-scaring me to death.
He laughed at my shocked expression and bent down, placing a small peck on my cheek.
“Morning!”
“I’m not a morning person,” I chided, trying to pull the blanket up over my head to hide how disheveled I looked.
“Well then, rise and shine my beautiful night owl,” he teased, trying to tug the blanket away from my arms.
“You’re awfully brave, to be stirring a Dark Wielder from their slumber,” I threatened playfully, unable to stay grouchy in light of his presence.
“Do your worst, Moirai!” He yanked the covers away, making it impossible to delay any further. The chilly air of Basdie prickled across what few layers I wore.
Varro granted me privacy while I washed up and readied myself for another day of training.
I met him and the others in the dining hall and noted how the strange, undulating energy from the day prior now felt steady and even.
This felt separate from the hum of the bond, like it sat next to it, curling up against it for warmth and strength.
Or perhaps the bond was leaning into it. I couldn’t be certain which.
Theory directed us to the flight deck after breakfast. An easiness settled into our team dynamic since the departure of Trace. There was no denying my steps were more certain, absent the worry of a tense encounter with him lurking around every corner.
“All of you but Cress, go warm up in the valley. Loosen your muscles and be on alert for drills.” Theory pointed out into the valley as Saryn moved to stand by my side. Gods, what did they want from me now?
“Your dark magic is defensive. It’s always a reaction to being attacked. It would be more beneficial if you could take the offensive.”
Saryn’s evaluation wasn’t inaccurate, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to make my shield more offensive. I had only seen it manifest itself as a shield blast or quaking, which I had deduced was some untamed form of elemental manipulation.
“See that small cliff to the west?” he asked.
“Yes,” I nodded, squinting my eyes to bring it into focus.
“I want you to bring it down.”
Saryn’s instructions were plain, like it was a simple request. He said it as if he’d seen me do it a hundred times before.
He added, “And please do us all a favor—just the cliff, not the entire mountainside…”
His misplaced confidence did nothing to motivate me. I watched as the others practiced their warm-ups out in the flight field, and became nervous at the prospect of doing something wrong, lacking the control that might result in their injury.
There was no fear of the cliff, nor was it attacking me.
Saryn and Theory made no threats to my safety.
They just stood idle, waiting to see if I could do as instructed.
I saw Varro’s beautiful teal wings shimmer and flit across the skyline, a beautiful cerulean dotted with puffy clouds of ivory amidst a brightly shining sun.
I focused on the excess of energy dwelling within me and sought to shape it into something more tangible.
As soon as I could feel it hovering at the surface, I turned my attention back to the rocky cliff overlooking the far side of the valley.
I stared hard, locking my vision on the outline of each rigid edge, imagining that it was not strong, fortified rock, but rather delicate and on the verge of crumbling.
Long, deep breaths created a rhythm, allowing me to root myself into the ground and become attuned to my surroundings.
The sounds around me faded first into a muffled dissonance, then muted altogether, until only the pounding of my heart beat against the silence.
Soon, I could hear a distinct quaking followed by the sharp cracks of rock breaking.
Suddenly, the entire ledge of the cliff fell away from itself, causing a landslide of boulders and debris down the mountainside.
My concentration was broken by the sound of Nori shouting Cairis’ name.
I whipped my head in her direction. She wasn’t near the cliff, but Cairis came to her side urgently, both of them looking back toward me with concern—except for Varro, who was still looking at the result of the destroyed cliff.
“Perfect, well done.” I heard Theory say to me, and I couldn’t recollect another time she’d ever complimented me.
The entirety of the morning, Saryn commanded me to dismantle parts of the beautiful mountainside.
Each time he seemed more impressed, as if trying to understand the limits of my power.
I did not let him or the others see it in my expression, but on the inside, I did feel powerful, my pride bubbling with every fulfilled request. Once Cairis and Nori were certain that I had some semblance of control over what I was doing, neither of them feared being in the flight field while the experimentation continued.
By lunchtime, I had caused multiple rockslides, and even managed to send a shield blast far enough that it created rocky explosions across the side of the mountain.
Any remaining wildlife in the valley below had scurried to the other end of the river, along with flocks of birds that had become too frightened to remain hidden in the trees that skirted the mountain’s edge.
I swayed a little, exhausted, and within seconds Varro was by my side, holding my arm.
“She needs food and rest!” he chided Saryn. “You know that.”
He sounded displeased at the way Saryn had pushed me with little regard to how it was taxing my energy levels.
It wasn’t until Varro interrupted that I realized how truly drained I was.
Though the warmth of his touch sent new energy fluttering through me, it would not be enough.
He was right. I needed to sit and recuperate.
As we all began to traipse back to the dining hall, Theory shouted, “Portal, you fools!”
It had almost been a week since Idris escorted Gia and Trace to the border, and there was no word yet on whether they had been successfully installed.
We had no idea how soon he’d be back for the rest of us, but I wished we could somehow receive a status report sooner than later.
My nerves were uneasy thinking about the two of them alone without the rest of us to lean on.
A foreign land, new culture, strangers and enemies at every turn.
The thought made me queasy, yet also grateful they hadn’t sent me first. Gia and Trace were so strong, each of them mentally fortified in their own ways.
I had confidence in them—but I’d have more if we were by their side.
I was beginning to lose track of how long I’d been away from my home.
I wondered if Versa had started to suspect anything from the lack of letters.
What sort of excuses had my parents made?
I was feeling particularly nostalgic after draining all my energy this morning in the flight field.
Maybe it was fear of the Drift that had me trying to focus on them and ensure my memories were still intact.
By now, Versa would have been wed, perhaps even with child.
Were they going about their days normally, following their routines?
There was something wild and untamed about all of this compared to the life I once had. Sometimes, I wondered if I would have chosen it, knowing what I do now. But I also recognized the na?ve side of me that always learned the lesson too late, and didn’t truly understand the horrors that lay ahead.
If I hadn’t been offered, would I ever have run off and met Trace, allowing me to learn so much about myself?
I knew I’d have never explored my magic.
Never gotten to break free of the manicured customs and etiquette of not showing my wings and flying.
Obligations as High Fae exchanged for obligations to the Imperi.
I would have never made these friends that I now treat as my family.
Certainly, I’d never have gotten the chance to go beyond the borders of Cambria.
Would the dark magic that runs through my veins ever have shown itself otherwise?
And lastly—but possibly most importantly—would I have ever encountered my mate?
Things were starting to feel like a strange twist of fate, like a blanket woven with patterns I could not see until I stepped back to view it at a distance.
But if this was where the weavings of fate began…
where did they end? What future could I hold with so little freedom?
There would be no wedding, no children or celebrations with my family.
I may never see the sprawling orchards and gardens of my home again…
but I would see the world instead. I’d see its vast cruelty and magnificence.
I would help paint the veil that kept our kingdom safe, however thankless that role may be.
How do you weave the threads of two lives spent in servitude to the Crown?
The brilliant hues of a journey made more authentic through experiencing the world as it truly is.
Intense. Captivating. And above all, a sense of purpose, protecting the people I loved and preserving the realm so that others may bask in blissful ignorance and routine.
The pale strings of their lives would continue through obligations of marriage and family, their entire worlds stretching only as far as their eyes could see.
I was once content to live that life. But no more.
The richness of my existence, however brief, would be meaningful.