Chapter 34
CHAPTER
The scene we arrived to was disorderly and chaotic, to say the least. The cover of night was lit dimly by torches and lanterns, making it difficult to fully assess the situation.
Only a few ships were seaworthy, and numerous Fae pushed and shimmied their way through the crowd to board them.
From what we could see, there were far fewer uniformed Kingsguards moving about, which made no sense.
Was there not enough time to provide armor for protection?
The scene before us consisted mostly of males, with a handful of females, all dressed in regular attire boarding the ships with urgency.
“Where is the military? Where are the Kingsguards?” Trace questioned with concern as he observed the bay.
“I don’t know,” Cairis said quietly through gritted teeth, sounding just as puzzled.
The sound of sails being hoisted meant there was no more time to delay. Varro pointed at the ship nearest to us. “I’ve worked with the captain and the crew of this one, so there should be no questions if Cairis and I board there.”
“We’ll take the far one. Locate the stones as quickly as possible, and send word to Cress of any possible leads.”
“What if we don’t find them before we arrive?” Cairis asked.
“Then defend Cambria,” Trace declared, as if it were that simple.
Cairis did not look satisfied with Trace’s response. He turned to me instead. “You have a devastating power inside you, Cress. Be prepared to use it.”
Just like the others, Cairis knew about the Drift. Maybe he assumed now that Varro and I were bonded it was a non-issue. Hopefully, that was true, but now was not the time to sow any more doubt.
Varro grabbed me and pulled me tightly into him, kissing the top of my head as I wrapped my arms around him just as tightly.
“He will have your back, I know this,” he said in spite of Trace’s envious gaze.
He seemed intent to convince himself of this rather than ease any of my own wariness—but after everything else I’d put him through, I could give him that. Trace gave Varro a nod, and then we reluctantly parted ways, heading toward the ship at the distant end of the wharf.
I patterned my footsteps closely behind Trace’s, trying to mirror the swift confidence of his movements and block out the distractions of the bustling docks.
The night air ushered in a breeze, leaving a chill on my skin.
Or, perhaps, it was the blood leaving my extremities to power my thundering heart as each step took us closer to possible confrontation.
Trace grabbed a dirty cloth from a ledge and continued to pace toward our destination. He handed it to me.
“Pull your hair back and cover it in this.”
“Why?” I said, fumbling with what might as well be a rag in my hands.
He halted abruptly and turned to face me, causing us to practically collide. Our faces were so close that our lips almost touched, and immediately I stepped back.
“To conceal your beauty.” He paused, assessing my reaction, of which I gave him none. Not getting what he wanted, he explained, “You look too clean, not like a commoner. Put it on now, and keep your chin down when we board.”
“I’ll just glamour them,” I retorted.
“No magic,” he demanded. “If anyone so much as suspects you’re glamouring them, we’re fucked. Now, do as I say, Cress.”
Trace’s firm command reminded me of how he used to speak to me. Below all those overbearing words used to reside a warm affection, but now, it was all impatience and worry.
I did as he instructed and wrapped my hair tightly under the fabric, concealing my long tresses.
For good measure, I bent down, pretending to lace my boot as I dragged my fingertips through a puddle of silt and clay.
When I stood, I ran my hands across my cheeks to weather my appearance further.
Trace looked pleased that I was finally thinking like an Imperi.
We waited in the queued masses, preparing to board.
All around us their clothes were ragged and their body odor indicated they had not been graced with a bath in some time.
I glanced up briefly, taking note of a few Kingsguards already aboard the ship who were overseeing the operations.
When we reached the top of the plank, I tried to conceal my fear that we would somehow be stopped, but no one gave Trace or me a second thought.
It appeared the only consideration for boarding was to be able-bodied and prepared to fight.
Once aboard, many acted unsure of where they should take up position or what they should do.
I felt Trace grab my hand and tug us away from the congestion of Artumians.
Feeling the rough callouses of Trace’s hand against mine flooded my mind with memories once more.
He did not release it till he had led us to the stern and beneath the decks, into a dark corner of the ship’s belly where he located some large wooden crates.
“Tell him you’re okay,” he muttered.
“I don’t need to report to him every minute,” I argued, annoyed that he felt the need to instruct me.
“Then tell him we are in,” he rephrased.
I did as he asked, but not because he’d requested it. It only made sense to let Varro and Cairis know we had successfully boarded, and I’d wanted to know if the same went for them.
“We’re boarded and safe. Are you all okay?” I sent my thoughts to him and awaited his reply.
When he sent me confirmation, I notified Trace that all had gone according to plan. The look on his face when I shared this information from my mate was one of annoyance, despite the necessity of it.
“May I remind you that you volunteered me for this. It was your idea, putting us on separate ships so you could use our communication to relay updates.”
“I did not volunteer you to be on a ship alone with me. That was your mate’s doing,” he retorted.
“You know Cairis can’t swim worth a damn!” I argued, feeling the familiarity of our banter lurking at the corners of my memory.
“Maybe you should have taught him during all that time at Basdie after I left. Or were you using the pools for something else, Cress?”
His insinuation only twisted the knife deeper; but I knew that blade was buried deep in his chest—not mine.
“Why are you doing this now?”
“Well, if there’s a chance we might die, I suppose I should stop pretending I’m content with your choices.”
“I had no choice in how or when I discovered my mate, but you had all the choice in the world when you denied me of your time and affection.”
Even in the darkness of the ship, I could make out his sour and defeated expression. His throat worked before he spat out a retort.
“The Gods made you for him, Cress. Would you really have defied them for me?”
No path in life had ever been easy for Trace, he had been conditioned to the loss of choice long before the Imperi stripped us of it fully. My silence gave way to his next remark.
“Five questions.”
“No,” I replied sternly. The weight of this game held new meaning since knowledge of the Drift and what Varro and I had bargained.
“Please.”
“I don’t have questions for you.”
“That’s fine. Just answer mine.”
The sound of more Fae cramming in all around us was not enough to dissuade Trace, who somehow seemed intent on focusing on everything but the mission ahead.
“Fine, if you promise to drop this afterwards and focus on the mission, I will answer your questions.”
He jumped at my proposal. “If you could travel anywhere in our homeland, where would you go?”
“What kind of question is that in a time like this?” I asked, more than confused, taking special note of how he made sure not to say Cambria aloud.
“Just answer.”
“I don’t know,” I said, rushing my thoughts toward a response. “I’d like to see the golden fields of wheat Nori spoke of from her home. Nothing but vast miles of waving golden hues.”
Trace paused, as if he were focused on committing my answer to memory.
“If you had a child, what would you name them?”
Gods send me patience to not murder him. What in the three moons of Demir was he asking this for? Was this some strange thing he did to distract himself from nerves? Did he believe this plan was all going to shit, and figured we’d might as well spend our last hours making pointless conversation?
“I would never bring a child into this world, knowing what I know now,” I claimed through gritted teeth.
“If that weren’t the case, is there a name you ever liked? Don’t most young females think of these silly things?”
“I’ve left those thoughts behind. But if you must know, Avila. I would have liked to have a daughter named Avila.”
I did not like these questions at all. In a time where I needed mental armor, questions like these were taking my head to vulnerable places that would only serve to distract me, if not get me killed.
“If you could see anyone again, who would it be?”
I didn’t even have to think before I whispered the words with a quivering lip, “Versa, my sister.”
Tears pricked at my lashes, and my hands balled into tight fists as I fought back the anger I’d kept at bay; the place where I had tucked my old life away.
“What’s your biggest regret?”
I stared at the floor, lost in a haze of memories. Why did Trace insist on picking at this wound? I answered him without meeting his gaze.
“I regret not taking my sister and disappearing the second word of the Offering arrived. I regret not fighting for my own freedom before it slipped through my grasp.” I looked up from the floor to meet his tired hazel eyes.
“I regret surrendering my only lifetime to the king, to the Imperi.” So much sorrow, and yet, among all the pain and heartache, the Gods revealed to me a gift.
My mate. And, as much as I regret losing my sister, having Varro is something I will forever be thankful for.
A tiny smile of understanding crept across his face, and I hung my head in despair at the full weight of my answer.
“You don’t believe in multiple lifetimes?”