Chapter 6 #3
He winked at her through the rear-view mirror. Lia wanted to melt into the seat. “Of course.”
“Okay, I’m heading back inside. Cal has officially confused me,” Teddy complained, stretching his arms over his head and throwing the view one last glance.
To be fair, it was spectacular. Whatever complaints Cal had about paying a…
jeonse (rent?), Lia thought it was fully worth it for the balcony outside the living room, with enough space for a lounger and a small couch.
Teddy gobbled up the last of his bunggeoppang while it was still hot.
The doenjang place Cal had brought them to was perfect, the soup had been warm and just thick enough with soybean paste, the vegetables hearty and filling.
He’d chosen seafood for the base, and theirs had crabs in it, which made it even more perfect with the rice.
The shop owner was a lovely old woman who seemed thrilled at their enthusiasm for the food, refilling their banchan before they could ask. Lia already missed it.
But then they found a bunggeoppang stall nearby and decided to have their dessert in Cal’s multi billion won balcony. Worth it.
“But isn’t it more fun to not know if you’re about to hear Bootylicious or Edge of Seventeen?” Cal seemed gleeful as he took a last sip of his beer. “I swear, it’s a full sample, the da-da-da-da…” he started to sing the opening notes of the song.
“Confused. Amused. Confounded.” Teddy shook his head.
“Confounded?!” Cal repeated almost immediately in a sharper, higher pitched tone. He turned to Lia for confirmation. “Did I do that right?”
And Lia was too busy laughing and not choking on her bunggeopang to give him a proper answer.
“Yep. I definitely need to sleep.” Teddy announced, shaking his head.
Lia laughed at her brother’s retreating back but stayed in her position on the couch next to Cal, shivering under a blanket, a second jacket, and a pair of socks. Cal had already thrown the blanket off of him and looked perfectly fine in a hoodie.
“You don’t want to go in?” he asked her, poking her thigh with his bare toe. “You seem cold.”
“I’m f-fine,” she insisted, wrapping the blanket tighter around her. “I’m still enjoying your view.”
It really was lovely, though. From where she was sitting, she could see the Han River, a void of darkness that reflected the sky. The city's lights rivaled the stars, and she had a vision of a little girl skating away on the river, off to adventures unknown.
“Do you want strawberry milk?” Cal asked, moving to stand beside her. Lia narrowed her gaze at him.
“Are you trying to get away from me?”
“No.” He tapped the lump that was Lia’s blanket as he settled back down beside her, one leg crossed while his other leg was up, knee to his chest. “I’ve just never seen anyone so cold, and it’s still pretty warm.”
“It’s sixteen degrees!”
“Exactly.” He seemed genuinely confused, turning to face her so he could start pulling the blanket higher up Lia’s chin. “What are we going to do with you when winter starts, Lia-ssi?”
“Well, I won’t be here for that, so,” she said, and the thought seemed to sober them both up from the night’s lovely haze.
Cal’s face fell and Lia shivered as a breeze blew through an unseen gap in her clothing defenses.
But his hands were still on her blanket, and he seemed confused at what to do next, and Lia couldn’t help but smile.
“Has anyone told you that you’re so…” She thought about the right word as Cal pulled away, tugging at the ties of his hoodie as he put the hood over his head. He chomped off the head of a poor fish.
“Handsome?” The word was muffled by his mouth being full of hot red bean and pancake.
“No.” Handsome was easy to grasp. Easy to get from the right products, the right procedures. There was nothing wrong with handsome, but it wasn’t the right word. “Thoughtful. You’re very thoughtful, Cal. You make everyone you meet feel like they matter to you.”
“I’m an idol, it’s part of my job.”
“No.” Lia shook her head in disagreement. “Your job is to make music. To sing. You make a choice to be thoughtful. To me, your members, my brother. The ahjumma at the restaurant was so charmed by you, she gave you a plum.”
“She said her daughter was a fan,” Cal mumbled into his fish bread, pulling out the plum from the pocket of his hoodie where he’d been keeping it for most of the night.
“Take the compliment, Cal oppa.” Lia nudged him with her elbow.
“Aha. You do speak fangirl,” he said with a grin. “The question is, which fandom?”
“I’m full of complex layers, if you can’t tell,” she said proudly, easily sidestepping his accusation. “It’s not all cryola and depresso vibes.”
“I didn’t understand any of that. But I know you have complex layers. I like unraveling them.”
“I’m glad you and Teddy were able to work out your issues.” Lia avoided the topic deftly. She passed him the last fish in the paper bag after Cal made a weak attempt to grab it, saying something about it not being a cheat day or whatever. “How do you feel now, about this whole album—”
“Mini album,” he corrected her.
“Mini album thing?” Lia continued, and it was Cal’s turn to sigh deeply and appear contemplative.
He kept his eyes on the view, like the vast infinity of his city could give him the answers he was looking for.
Somewhere out there, a fan artist had rendered her idol in this exact pose, caught in chiaroscuro.
Darkness faded away at details even as the light revealed things Lia had never noticed before.
The shape of his profile, the tic in his jaw that appeared when he was stressed, the nick on his cheek from shaving.
“Before we talked, I really was dreading making this album,” he told her.
“It felt like a foregone conclusion. But I spoke with your brother, and I realized there was still so much I want to do with music. That every chance I have is an opportunity to make something that excites me, challenges the two kids.” He chuckled.
“I make music because it’s what makes me happy. ”
“The joy is in the creation.” Lia nodded, because it was something Teddy had said before.
“And you reminded me that there is still a lot I can do to fight for the band.” Cal continued, turning to face her now.
“I haven’t talked to my lawyers, but I did send out feelers to agencies that might be interested in us.
We have the music, we have the fans. We just need to find the right place, you know? ”
“Of course,” Lia agreed. “I used to be a BoLT, you know.”
There was a full three seconds during which Cal said nothing, processing the information. Then his face split with a huge grin of triumph.
“I knew it,” he said, and his laugh was loud and boisterous as it floated out of the balcony all the way down to the city below. “I knew it! You were saying things, and I wondered how you could possibly know. I’m so right. You called me oppa!”
“You are my oppa!”
“Aw, you came out to me, Lia. That’s so nice.” Cal was being absolutely smug now, wriggling on the couch so he could bump his arm against her blanket lump and Lia pretended to be so annoyed she needed to roll her eyes.
“Hinde ah!” She argued. “I used to be a fan! You’re, you’re…you’re my ex!”
He looked like he was making a valiant effort to keep his idol face on, but failed miserably when he laughed again.
“Your ex,” he said when he finally calmed down, shaking his head. “I hate it so much.”
“Hey, second-chance romance is a thing,” Lia joked. “Malay mo.”
“Malay ko.” He repeated, and the words seemed to carry a completely different weight when he said it that way. It wasn’t until Lia’s laughter died down that she noticed that Cal was contemplating the view again, as if it was the first time he’d truly seen it.
“I’m glad you came to Seoul,” he said to her, looping an arm over her shoulder. Lia let herself lean into the touch, finding comfort in the warmth he provided. While it was the heart of Lia’s younger self that leapt, it was Lia of that moment that accepted the affection she was being given.